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Pained Thoughts (AiE Feels)

By: Wolfkrone on Dec 3rd, 2013  |  syntax: None  |  size: 4.92 KB  |  hits: 86  |  expires: Never
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  1. >It's 1:04A.M
  2. >You're in your bedroom, at your desk. Bottle of Stalliongrad Silver half drunken and "6 Degrees" by Audiofly playing on vinyl in the background
  3. >Blank piece of parchment on the table. Ink on the quill has dried up hours ago
  4. >When you got to this world. You told the p0nies that lived here you used to be an author on Earth
  5. >They had asked if you wanted to write a book
  6. >You of course said you would
  7. >Taking another swig you lean back in your chair and stare at the ceiling
  8. >But, why can't you write?
  9. >So many thoughts and ideas buzzing in your head one has trouble getting out
  10. >Like if a thousand moths tried to get through one small hole in a lampshade
  11. >Leaning forward again you stare at the blankness that is the parchment
  12. >You have three chapters written, why can't you do the fourth?
  13. >Your fist clenches around the neck of your bottle at the sudden realization why
  14. >You know why you can't do this
  15. >You don't want to know, but you do know
  16. >Try as you might but as with all resistances. They can only hold out so long
  17. >Painful memories of your daughter come back to haunt you...
  18. >She had asked you to write her a story, a fairytale. Complete with a princess that lives in a castle in the sky
  19. >You had gladly done so
  20. >Until the fourth chapter
  21. >Your work had you at all hours and you didn't time to sleep let alone write for your little girl
  22. >She had complained that you didn't finish it, that you had lied to her
  23. >She couldn't understand she was only 5, you couldn't get mad at her
  24. >This went on for weeks, she pretended you didn't exist
  25. >She'd take her dinners in her room, and only come out to use the bathroom
  26. >You tried talking to her but nothing worked, she was a cold iron wall
  27. >Just like her mother was...
  28. >Then you got a call while at work...
  29. >The hospital, telling you that while trying to cross the road to get to the bus area at her school to go home she had gotten hit by a car.
  30. >It was a hit and run they told you. And that your daughter was in very critical condition
  31.  
  32.  
  33. >You drove as fast as humanly possible to that hospital. Bursting into the door when you arrived
  34. >You pleaded with them to see your daughter, but they refused. Said that she isn't stable enough
  35. >You waited, you stood in that one spot. Unmoving. Unwavering, for 4 hours
  36. >They finally had come to let you know that you can see her
  37. >Running through the halls you got to the door to the room that they had said she was in
  38. >When you entered the room you saw her laying on the bed
  39. >She was covered in bandages and she had two splints, one for her right leg and right arm
  40. >Sitting next to her on her left side you take her hand in yours
  41. “Are you okay? Sweetie? Can you hear me?”
  42. >She looks up at you, those hazel eyes burning into yours
  43. >Her voice, so meek and low you could barely hear it
  44. >”D-Daddy, did you...bring me a book? The books they have here. A-Are dumb”
  45. >”T-there's no, P-princesses. And no castles”
  46. >You can't do anything as you shake your head no
  47. “I'm sorry sweetie, I don't have a book to bring you. I can go get you one though”
  48. >She looks back up to you after her gazing at the floor
  49. >”What about...your story? Did you write any more I-in it?”
  50. >You hang your head low, you haven't and at the moment it would count. You've failed her
  51. “I-I'm sorry sweetie. I didn't finish it. Daddy's been working a lot lately, and I haven't got the chance to. We'll finish it when we get home okay?”
  52. >You'll never forget the smile she gave you afterwards. A smile that only a child could give
  53. >Tucking her in you go and find a small blanket to cover yourself up in the chair you were going to sleep in
  54. >Sitting in the chair you watch her, you sat like that for two hours. Until her breaths steady and she falls asleep
  55. >You nodded off not long after that
  56. >BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
  57.  
  58.  
  59. >The noise jolts you awake as doctors and nurses rush into the room
  60. >Jumping out of the chair you go to run over to her but you're stopped by one of the nurses
  61. >She asked you to stay there, that the doctors will take care of it
  62. >You felt helpless, you felt like nothing. Standing there staring at your daughters calm, peaceful face as the doctors try to bring her back
  63. >It becomes too much for you stand, you fall back into the chair
  64. >Head in your hands you try your hardest not to cry
  65. >You try your hardest not to give up
  66. >You can't lose her
  67. >Not after everything
  68. >The doctor approaches you, a solemn look on his face and a voice to match
  69. >”I'm sorry Mr. Anonymous, but there's nothing we could have done.”
  70. >You fall to your knees, forehead on the cold tile floor as you wept
  71. >Jolting awake you pick your head of the table
  72. >Stalliongrad Silver laying spilt on the floor beside you
  73. >Grabbing the now tear stained parchment you crumble it up and chuck it across the room
  74. >Too painful for this
  75. >Dragging yourself out of your chair you dump onto the bed
  76. >With your too painful memories you try to steady your breath
  77. >And fall asleep
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