Celestia/Luna Greentexts: Best Princess

>"Luna a shit. Sunbutt's better."

>"Fuck off Sunfag, Luna's the better princess."

>"Lunafags are autists. Praise the sun."

>"Both of you are faggots, Cadance is best princess."

>You had been browsing /mlp/ for hours now.

>You were sitting in your room at Canterlot Castle, your magical internet connection beating any processing speeds at home with ease.

>You sat at your laptop and watched the raging Anons fight over best princess.

>It was a bit ridiculous, you thought.

>They were all good princesses.

>Though Cadance was a few notches lower on the ladder...

>Regardless, you didn't say anything because you liked watching the shitstorm unfold.

>Hooffalls sound out behind your door.

>The royal sisters' chatter could be heard.

>There were knocks at your door.

>"Anonymous, are you in here?"

"Yeah. What'd you need?"

>The door opens and both princesses walk into your room.

>Celestia spoke. "We were wondering if you would be joining us for the Canterlot Flying Grand Prix."

"Oh, yeah, sure. Just...give me a couple minutes."

>You stared at your screen as the fighting continued.

>"Anonymous? Will this be long?"

"No Luna. It's just...hoo."

>Celestia makes her way behind you and leans down to look at your screen.

>"What exactly are you doing, Anonymous?"

"Watching these idiots fight, that's what."

>"Fight?"

"Yep. Apparently people like to argue whether you or your sister is the better princess."

>Now Luna was intrigued too, walking over and standing next to her sister to watch what was happening.

>A response popped up on the screen: "Luna is a socially retarded autism magnet. Seriously, why would you ever turn away from the sun?"

>"An...autism magnet? But I have no autism. And I am NOT socially slow."

>Another response: ">Why would you ever turn away from the sun? Because obviously the sun hurts my eyes. Whitehorse is an ugly bitch."

>Celestia looked hurt.

>"Ugly?"

>"Yeah, I bet Celestia's got a shit-ton more sexual experience than Luna. Moonhorse's cunt is probably dried and cracked up from non-use."

>"Why would somepony even suggest that?"

>"But Celestia's a virgin. Y'know, she has to be a good role model."

>">Purityfag detected."

>"If she's not a virgin, she's a whore who gets around too much."

>"Why do they say such hurtful things, Anonymous?"

"Because they really like to try and argue their point."

>"That just means Luna's forever alone with no one to love her. She can't get some cock worth shit. At least Celestia's got some."

>Luna was frowning.

>"How would they even know any of this?"

"They don't. It's wild mass guessing."

>"Celestia's also a tyrant."

>"Did we just go back in time?"

>"Luna's weaker then her sister anyways. It's not like she could stand up to her."

>"The moon eclipses the sun. That means Luna>Celestia."

>"Are you fucking stupid? Eclipses have nothing to do with this."

>"Luna a shit leader. Celestia's been doing it for 1,000 years. The most Luna's accomplished is proving how much of a dumbass sperg she is."

>"Luna also helps ponies in their dreams. Celestia's just a lazy bitch who vaguely gives hints and gets her ass kicked by the villain every time."

>"Oh, and Luna's faced a villain. Yeah. She'd get beaten way faster then Celestia. She a tiny bitch."

>"Luna is strong though."

>"Yeah, that's why she got her ass sent to the moon for 1,000 years so easily. Celestia's stronger."

>"That also proves Celestia's a tyrant."

>Your laptop is closed by a white hoof.

"Hey what'd you do that f-"

>You turn around and are silenced by the sisters' looks.

>They look sad.

>Maybe on the verge of crying.

>"Anonymous...do they really mean all of those things they said?"

>Oh no, the faggots got to them.

>Either the princesses were thin skinned or they'd never been insulted so badly before.

>"Why would they say those things about my sister and I?"

>"Neither of us is better than the other. You don't think so, do you Anonymous?"

>You set your laptop on the ground.

"No. Of course not. As far as I'm concerned, you're both best princesses."

>They smile.

>"You mean this, Anonymous?"

"Yes. Don't listen to those fuckers. They don't know what they're talking about."

>They stand up straight as you get off of your bed.

>Luna wipes her eyes.

>Celestia clears her throat.

>"Thank you, Anonymous. Now, weren't we going to a Grand Prix?"

>"I believe we were sister. Were you still coming, Anonymous?"

>You put your laptop in its case.

"Of course I am. Come on, let's get out of here."

>The princesses leave the room.

>You follow, excited to watch a race and eat some great stadium food.

>Or whatever the princesses were served.