Title: Morning Glory and whiteknight White Knight Anon Author: WhorePonyThread Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/d405q5hn First Edit: Wednesday 28th of December 2016 09:33:35 PM CDT Last Edit: Wednesday 28th of December 2016 09:33:35 PM CDT >Sigh, another day on the street. >Better bunkerdown, at this rate the rain is going to turn to- >"What-ho, unfortunate friend!" >You look up at the loud voice, wondering who in their right mind wants to talk to a homeless pony in the rain. "W-What?" >He slaps a hand on his chest making a loud *clank!* >"I am Ser Knight-Captain Anon of the Good-Guy Brigade and it would be greatly appreciated if you joined me on my quest!" >You're not sure why, but somehow the rain parted, creating a beam of sunlight directly over this "Anon" making his armor almost too grossly incandesent for you to handle. "How could I possibly help you?" >You had no money, no armor, and you're starting to wonder what "quest" means. >"Your presence is all I require in my mission to lay a dragon!" >WHAT?! "S-slay a dragon?!" >"Of course, that's what I meant to say!" >He quickly dropped a large sack inside your box. >The cardboard underneath gushed water at your muzzle but you reach over to open the sack anyways. >"It's quite important that every knight have a squire," >Untieing the little string made the contents pour out all over the wet cardboard. >"And with no one else to inconvienience at this hour, or willing to join me, I choose you as my humble and consenting servan- squire!" >Bits glew as they peeked from the brown sack, nopony had ever given so many before! "What would I do, as a squire?" >He suddenly looked up and scratched his chin. >"Hm. Ah! Watch and learn!" >He looked back down at you with a great big smile as you flinched at whatever was coming. >But nothing came. "Just... Watch and learn?" >"And help me keep my armor gleaming and my sword straightly erect!" >Well, that doens't sound too hard. "I'll be your squire, sure-" >He suddenly swept you from your box, leaving the sack of bits laying there. >"Onwards then, my new-fondled companion!" "B-but the bits!" >"Tis only fools gold, we will find real gold soon enough, certainly more than you have ever dreamed of!" >Be Sir Anon of the Good Sa-mare-itan Crusade, before you stands the entrance to the dragons lair. >The large portcullis was sealed with magic and your squire would be unable to assist you in this challenge. >While the journey was long and arduous, your squire was more than a life-saver on your way here! >"I just don't see why we had to steal and eat all that ponies food..." "As the wise tactician Guy Fieri once said, 'an army marches on its stomach.'" >You size up the gate and think on how you would overcome this. >Perhaps you could sit and wait for it to open. >No, you have a schedule to keep! >"And how did you get the sun to do that thing earlier?" "The fair maiden Celestia and I are very close, enough with the trivia, I need to think of how we're going to get inside!" >"I'm sure Princess Twilight would let us in if we just knocked-" >You raise a leg and kick the door with all your might. >It swings open, one even comes of its hinges! "The best path is the path of least resistance!" >You draw your shield and don your sword, surveying the dragons keep. "Quickly, take everything you can carry." >"W-what?" "It is a task of utmost importance, now do it before the dragon-" >"W-who are you two?" >The dragon approaches! >You raise your shield and prepare for glorious combat! "Faster, squire, I will divert the creatures attention!" >She complies, then the dragon gives you an offended tone but you ignore its devious call. >"Seriously, you guys need to put everything back and get out of here!" >It is defenseless! You take the opportunity and lunge at the beast with shield and sword in hand! >The two of you tumble onto a large table and begin to duke it out, green flames erupt from the dragons maw and you raise your shield in response. >You in turn strike at the foul creature, swinging your sword in a horizontal arch, only for the dragon to either duck underneath or jump above the blade. >Clever girl. >You filled the bag with utensils, decorations, and various other objects. >This wasn't going to end well and you know it. >Just then, there's a loud *zap!* >The sound of "fighting" stops and before the three of you stands the Princess herself. >"What's going on here?!" >Anon seems outmatched, yes he barely managed to fend off a baby dragon but his sword and shield would be useless against her magic. >Afraid of being sent to the Twilight Zone, you stay and wait for her to subdue Anon and give you a firm lecture on why you shouldn't do what a stranger asks you to do. >Then, Anon does something that nopony in their right mind would ever do. > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsW72KIOd8U [Embed] >Anon throws his shield at the princess! >But misses... >"You've done it now!" >She prepares a spell, probably to vaporize him from existence, when the shield comes back from behind and scrapes the top of her horn! >He stopped her spell, then charged in! >He grabbed the returning shield as he ran forward. >She fires a spell, but somehow the shield is able to hold up against the blast. >He swings his sword again, but the princess leaps out of the way! >She casts another spell, but Anon swings his shield just in time to send it flying in another direction! >"H-how did-?" >Before she can prepare another, Anon prepares another swing when suddenly- >He stops moving. >"What is this unfair magic?" >You turn around and see... >"Princess Celestia?!" >She holds him up and stares at him angrily. >"No more Ogres and Oubliettes for you, Anonymous!" >He tries to swing, move or resist, but can't. >"Unholy foulness, I will take you with me!" >Then, with a bright flash of light, he's gone! >Horror paralyzes you as your legs wobble and shake as the Princesses walk towards you. >However, they smile gently at you. >Twilight tries to console you first. >"He's fine. We're sorry he managed to trick you into helping him." >Then Celestia gently unruffles your hair and raises your chin to make you see her eye-to-eye. >"He's got quite the silver tongue. I should know." >You're... Breathless. This whole event was quite a lot to take in. "T-thanks, I guess. C-can I go home?" >They nod, and you take one final inhale. >And you book it for the door with the bag of loot. >You're gonna get a new cardboard box out of this, especially after all you've been through.