Dr Weird Anon in Equestria

NOTES: An anon from a AiE thread asked for a Dr Weird anon and Twilight (Steve) Sparkle so I took a swing at it and these shorts are the results.

 

http://youtu.be/JDUxc6MLXoM

>camera pans into Twilight's library

>you are Anon and you are standing in a garage

Gentlemen... BEHOLD!

>a few moments pass

>"Is something supposed to happen?"

Wait hold on.....

>you press the button to open the garage

>the garage door slowly opens

Now then... BEHOOOOOOLD!!!

>you hold out your arms awaiting praise from your assistant Twilight (Steve) Sparkle

>"...... What?"

AM I NOT CUMMING INSIDE RAINBOW DASH?!

>"Uhhh..... No...."

WHY NOT???!!!

 

 

 

http://youtu.be/JDUxc6MLXoM

>camera pans into Twilight's Library

>you are Anon and you are standing in front of your greatest achievement

Gentlemen... BEHOLD!!!

>you pull the tarp covering your deed

>it reveals a wheel barrel

I HAVE MADE LOVE TO THIS MACHINE!!!

And upon retrospect... I ask why....

>Twilight (Steve) Sparkle speaks up

>"Was there a scientific reason for this or?....

>you interrupt her loudly

NO!!! IT WAS FREE AND SHE WAS DRUNK!!!

>suddenly a half human half wheel barrel child erupts from the wheel barrel

MY WOODEN BOY!!!

 

 

 

http://youtu.be/JDUxc6MLXoM

>camera pans into Twilight's library

>you are Anon and you are standing in front of a cage

Gentlemen... BEHOLD!!!

>you pull a leaver that opens the cage

>a disfigured pony sandwich hybrid crawls out of it

I HAVE SPLICED THE DOUBLE HELIX OF A HAY SANDWICH WITH MY OLD ROOMMATE, LYRA!!!

>Twilight (Steve) Sparkle looks on in shock

>"Wha.. Whoa..."

>you look back at her

HELL YES WHOA!!!

>you walk over to what used to be Lyra and pick her/it up

Now come here Lyra AND PAY YOUR HALF OF THE UTILITIES!!!!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!

 

 

 

http://youtu.be/JDUxc6MLXoM

>camera pans into Twilight's library

>Twilight (Steve) Sparkle is currently talking to Spike

>"Now then Spike I would like a sunflower sandwich and... Anon do you want anything?"

>you are Anon and you are dealing with quite a predicament at the moment

MY ASS HAS FINALLY DECIDED TO EAT MY HAND!!!

>just as you finish saying that more of your arm is consumed by said posterior

IT HUNGERRRRRRRRRRS!!!! FOR MORE!!!

>you are then fully consumed by your own rectum only leaving a small ball of flesh on the floor

>after seeing what had transpired in front of her Twilight promptly turns back to Spike

>"Just the one sandwich Spike"

 

 

 

http://youtu.be/JDUxc6MLXoM

>camera pans into Twilight's library

>you are Anon and you are talking to a business associate on the phone at the moment

Yes, YES TERRY!!! MINING FOR BRAINS!!!!

>just as you finish your sentence Twilight (Steve) Sparkle walks up to you

Oh wait she's here I have to go

>you then promptly hang up the phone

>"Who was that you were talking to Anon?"

No one... HEY LETS HIGHLIGHT YOUR HAIR!!!

>"But I like my hair this wa-"

>you don't let her finish before you stick a needle with a sedative in her instantly knocking her out

>she then falls limp to the floor

IT BEGINS!!!!!

 

>HOURS LATER

 

>Twilight comes to and is very confused

>"Anon? Where are you?"

> She then finds a note next to her that has "Find doctor now!" written on it

>"Why can't I read this?"

 

 

 

http://youtu.be/JDUxc6MLXoM

>camera pans into Twilight's library

>you are Anon and you have tubes hooked up to your nipples pumping in god knows what

>your body is slowly inflating with whatever is being pumped in

Gentlemen... BEHOLD!!! THERE IS A CHANCE THIS WILL WORK!!!

>Twilight (Steve) Sparkle is standing next to you feverishly looking over your notes

>"Anon I've been looking over your notes and I seriously don't think this is going to work"

>she then shows you a page from your notes

>"It even says right here that this won't work!"

>you pause for a moment to process this

FOOL THAT WILL NEVER WORK!!!

 

 

 

http://youtu.be/JDUxc6MLXoM

>camera pans into Twilight's library

>you are Anon and you are currently hanging upside down

Gentlemen... Chop off my head with such velocity, and my blood will rocket through my neck and propel my lifeless body ALL THE WAY TO CANTERLOT!!!

>Twilight (Steve) Sparkle stands there just trying to fathom what you have just said

>"...... Wow..."

>"But Anon, what's in Canterlot that you need to send your body to?"

WHY YOUR MAMA STEVE!!! GET THE AX!!!

 

 

http://youtu.be/JDUxc6MLXoM

>camera pans into Twilight's library

>you are Anon and you are standing in front of a garage door

Gentlemen... BEHOLD!!!

>the door to the garage slowly opens to reveal a table with a large plate full of corn

CORN!!!

>Twilight (Steve) Sparkle stands there looking on in amazement at the sight of the corn

>"Anon this is amazing! You engineered synthetic corn!"

>she now starts to trot around in circles

>"This could end world hunger and so much more!"

>she then stops in her tracks

>"Anon could I try one to see how it tastes? I'm also a bit hungry"

GOOD!!! THEN LET THE MATING BEGIN!!!

>after you say that the corn then jumps up and impales Twilight to the wall and is bombarded by the rest of the corn

HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAA!!!!!!

 

 

 

http://youtu.be/JDUxc6MLXoM

>camera pans into Twilight's library

>you are anon and you're standing in front of a garage door

Gentlemen... I bring you....

>the garage door slowly opens up to reveal a table with a large plate of corn

MORE CORN!!!

>upon seeing this Twilight (Steve) Sparkle is looking skeptical

>"I don't know Anon... I mean after that last time... And I'm still recovering from those corn marks!

>you turn to her with a reassuring look

THIS TIME... SHALL BE DIFFERENT!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAA!!!!!!!!!

>she ponders this for a moment

>"Well... Alright... I am kind of hungry again...."

>the second she finishes saying that the corn jumps up and impales her against the wall

IT'S NOT DIFFERENT AT ALL, IS IT STEVE?!!!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

 

 

 

http://youtu.be/JDUxc6MLXoM

>camera pans into Twilight's library

>you are anon and you are petting the most adorable spider eye ball in the world

Ogi boogi, aww giggioui aww who's a good little fella? Hey where's your brother?

>you can hear Twilight (Steve) Sparkle writhing in pain

>suddenly Twilight's last remaining eye jumps out of her and scurries over to you

OH HERE HE COMES!!!

>Twilight's cries of agony intensifies

>now holding two of the most adorable eye spiders you soon notice they are quite scared of Steve's noise making and you know you need to put a stop to that

SHUT THE FUCK UP STEVE YOUR SCARING THEM!!!

 

 

 

http://youtu.be/JDUxc6MLXoM

>camera pans into Twilight's library

>You are Anon and you are standing in front of Twilight (Steve) Sparkle about to ask her an important question

SO HO GENTLEMEN!!! You ah try that hoof lotion I gave you?

>Twilight merely looks at you miffed at your question

You know the one with the GORILLA on the bottle?

>"Does it LOOK like I tried it?!"

>you look at her hoves to find them to now be deformed over grown gorilla feet

>you ponder on this discovery for a moment

..... YOU DID!!!

 

 

 

http://youtu.be/JDUxc6MLXoM

>camera pans into Twilight's library

>you are Anon and you are standing in front of a garage door

Gentlemen... BEHOLD!!!

>the garage door slowly opens

I have created... This thing!

>the door reveals a machine that is projecting a rainbow

>Twilight (Steve) Sparkle stands there marveling at it

>"...... What is it?"

I DON'T KNOW!!! STAND OVER HERE!!!

>you point to a section of the floor for Twilight to stand on

>as she trots over to the spot you told her to stand she starts to talk about how this could be used for pony kind

>"It seems to make rainbows so maybe the weather ponies could use this or mayb- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

>before she could finish her train of though the machine picks her up and sends her flying right out the window

IT WORKS!!! I AM ONE CAN SHORT OF A SIX-PACK!!! WAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

 

 

Updated 12/30/13

 

 

http://youtu.be/JDUxc6MLXoM

>camera pans into Twilight's library

>you are Anon and you have a very special gift for a very special Steve

Gentlemen... Merry Christmas... TO YOUUUUU!!!!!

>Twilight (Steve) Sparkle looks on at the fairly present that sits in front of her

>"Aww I don't know what Christmas is but that's so sweet of you to give me this present"

>you then make your way to the cage next to you and lock yourself in

>"Hey come on out of that cage so I can give you a big hug"

>as soon as she finishes saying that the present grows a large set of teeth and begins to growl at Twilight

>"Anon what's hap-"

>The present doesn't give her the chance to finish her question before it throws itself at her and gives chase around the lab

>"UUAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

OH YEAH!!! TAKE IT TO THE BANK DADDY!!!

 

 

Updated 1/3/14

 

(AiE's 900th thread special)

http://youtu.be/JDUxc6MLXoM

>camera pans into Twilight's library

>you are Anon and you are standing in front of a garage door

Gentlemen... BEHOLD!!!

>the garage door slowly opens to reveal a hideous and veiny monster that seems to be in the shape of the number 900 and is restrained by a series of chains

I HAVE GENETICALLY SPLICED 900 THREADS OF FAN FICTION WITH 2 MONTHS WORTH OF FOOD BYPRODUCTS FROM THAT RESTAURANT DOWN THE ROAD!!!

>Twilight (Steve) Sparkle looks on in horror

>"Anon.... This is.... Horrifying...."

>you turn to Twilight

Horrifying?

>you then turn to the wall where a leaver is

>you walk to the leaver and grab it

You haven't seen "horrifying" UNTIL I DO THIS!!!

>you then pull the leaver

HAAA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAA!!!

>the chains binding the monster are released

>the monster screeches a deafening screech

>tentacles begin to protrude out of it and it starts to chase Twilight around the lab to do unspeakable things to her

>Twilight is now running for her life

>"ANOOOOON!!! MAKE IT STOOOOOOP!!!!

Just let it happen Steve. How else is the next one going to get it's host? BUAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!