Title: My Writefag is a DICK! [OneShot?] Author: Vlaxion Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/9TN0wW3A First Edit: Sunday 10th of February 2013 11:02:51 PM CDT Last Edit: Sunday 10th of February 2013 11:02:51 PM CDT >It was quiet. >Your keyboard felt cold for some reason. >Even though you were just typing on it... >You bring your hands to your chest to warm them up. >Something was off. >Has writing My Little Pony Fanfiction gotten to you? >No... >You're probably tired or something. *Sigh* >Just when you heard [insert readers favorite writer] was about to update. >Oh well... >You scroll over to the Shut-down button. I guess I'll just read it tomorrow morning. >A Window pops up. >"Are you sure? You have a program still running" [Or whatever window that would pop up usually] Yeah, yeah, whatever. >With closer examination, you see -what would be yes- said no. >... >You click on it anyway. >4chan pops up. What? >All the boards on it was /mlp/ >All the threads in /mlp/ were AiE   ... >You open up the thread. >Everything was normal. >"Tripfags in Equestria" >"[insert current writer that is hated] pls go" >"Remember when AiE was good?" >"[insert popular writer here] WHERE ARE YOU?!" >Normal, normal, normal. >Well, you guess this could be a sign of some kind. >The AiE gods wish for you to read, so you shall. >You scroll down. >And down. >This must be heaven! AiE content everywhere! >You continued till you found something worth reading. Hmm...   Hello everyone, this is my first time writing... Here I go!   >New writer? >Might as well see how he does. >Maybe he is the next [insert favorite writer] or something.   >... >Where is he? >New guy said he was going to post... >[insert favorite writer that was about to post here] isnt here either! >You continue to scroll down, slightly agitated. The hell new guy?! >Already at post 350 >Nothing. >You stop scrolling. Damn, what a drag... >You lean back in your chair. >Mhmm... You definitively need sleep. >Extending your arm, stretching, you hear a crack. Aw... Yeah... Thats good. >A warm sensation began to radiate from your screen. >?! >"Anonymous." WHA! >You jump back. >NOPE! >As you try to move your chair, it jams. >Come on, COME ON! >You try your best not to look at the screen. >God only knows whats on it. >"Anonymous?" >That voice... Pinkie? >You look at the screen to see a pinkiepie.gif open Its a .gif *sigh* >".gif?" >You flinch. >Pinkie's looks at you curiously >Could this really be happening? >No. >Sleep. >You are sleepy. >As you try to turn the monitor off, Pinkiepie reaches out. What the hell?! >As she reaches out of the screen, her hooves turn to hands. >"It seems like your not a 'Pinkie' type of guy."   >You retract your hand as fast as you could. >"Sorry about that." the voice softens. >The PinkiePie.gif rearranges into Fluttershy.exe >"We need you, anonymous." FUCK THIS! >You try to wiggle out of your chair. >"Please, stop!" >A hand reaches out and grabs you. >SHITSHITSHITSHIIIIIIT! >"I got you, just hold on!" >You push yourself forward. >"WAIT, DONT" >You fell forward. >Into your screen.   >"Now look what you've done." >It was a male voice now... >You look up and see that you are in a... meadow? Wait... What...? >You crawl back until you hit a tree. WHAT IS THIS?! >"Look, I am a new writer, and-" WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?! >"Calm down." HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EXPECT ME TO CALM DOWN?! WHERE IS MY COMPUTER? WHERE IS MY DESK?! >"Yesh, most AiE readers would have caught on by now..." >You stop. >This... Can't be.... >Its sunny outside. >... >You check your watch >3:33 [A.M.] your FUCKING ASS. >Keep cool, thats what most Anon's do when they get to Equestria. [lie] >You stand up. What is this? >"Well, that was fast." ... >"This is Equestria. I need help with this AiE thing." ... >"I can't quite get how a 'normal' Anon would act, so I grabbed one." ... >"But, this isnt the first time i've done this... So don't be worried... Everything is under control." >A weird sound can be heard coming from inside the woods. >"CRAP! AN EVENT?! THIS SOON?! ANON GET OUT OF THERE!" >Event? >You lean in slightly, to get a better look.   Fuck. >"Anon!" >The smell of something HORRIBLE finally got to you. >A cold sensation ran up your back. >With your 'Eq' knowledge, you knew... >"Timber Wolves!" >As soon as you saw two green balls light up, you ran. >Your arms... Your legs... They... They arent yours... >You were wearing the custom suit that every Anon wore. >If felt good, in a way. >They were gaining on you. >You can just FEEL the 'new man' inside of you. >Because this is AiE... Then... >You turn around. HEY BASTARD! >The wolf stops. SUCK ON THIS! >You throw a rock at it, aiming for his mouth. >Surprisingly, it gets in. >Like how you imagined it... >It began to scratch the ground, and howl in pain, as it choked. >A smile was grinning ear to ear on your face. >You can't BELIEVE you just done that. >"What a strange first event... Kinda Mary Sue if you ask me." >That voice. Who are you? >"A new writefag, hello!" ... >"Yesh... Anyway, that was a weird first event... My guess is that you are in a marysue story or something." What? >"Yes, yes, most likely. Mary sue indeed." Huh? >"I bet right around now a pony will appear out of nowhere, or that it turns out you just saved a filly or something." I dont- >"Anyway, we can't dwell on things of the past now..." Even- >"Some readers LIKE Marysue stories, even though they complain about it."     >"RIGHT! So this is the story of Anon, the Mary Sue!" ... >"He-hello?" a faint voice cried out. >"Right on schedule..." Hold on im- >Its her. >You've dreamed about this moment. >Wrote stories, oneshots, and even clopped to this moment. >Fluttershy. >>"Mary sue~" >The hell?! >That voice got TWO greater then signs?! >>"Hell yeah I do! 'Normal' characters get only one." >So am I a normal characte- >>"BACK TO THE STORY!"   Hello, um... >"Um..." >You both freeze. >>"DON'T BE AN AWKWARD FUCK, THEY ALWAYS ACT LIKE AN AWKWARD FUCK WHEN THEY MEET FLUTTERSHY!" Hey, my name is Anonymous, Anon for short. >This is so terrible, you think you're gonna barf. >But... This is how the other anons do it, right?   >"Th...Thank you for helping me there, I just don't know what would have... Happened to me back there..." Its no biggie, I do that stuff all the time. [lie] >>"So you're going with that kind of approach, huh?" >Butt out of this. >"All the time?" Yeah... I kinda get into trouble a lot.[lie] >"A lot?" >She looks up at you through her hair, worried. WELL, NOT A LOT- A LOT! Hehe... >>"Wow... Seriously, I can SMELL the spaghetti from HERE!" >Shutup >"Well..." >She reaches inside a basket she had on her. >"Here." >It was a flower. >A terrible sensation began to arise inside of you. >As you look up, you can see it. >Fluttershy smiling. >YOUR HEART. >FUCK. >HNNNNNG Thanks! >"I'll... I'll see you around, ok?" Ye-Yeah! >She turns and walks away, smiling. >>"Going for the Fluttershy route, eh?" ... >>"Going for 'BIG HERO ACT!' - type Anon, huh?" ... >>"Because in chapter 3, Fluttershy will get into a TERRIBLE situation, and only YOU will be able to save her." ... >>"And when you do, she will fall madly in LOVE with you. >LOVE? Wait a second... How do you know about- >>"I read AiE before man. I know about its shitty 'memes' and stuff" ... >>"Anyway, go set off another event, or find a place to crash... My eyes are KILLING me." What? When are you getting me out of here?! >>"When I get a proper AiE story." ! >>"A good 100 views in a pastebin sounds good, right?" >Today, you learned something. Writefags are dicks!