Don't like ads? PRO users don't see any ads ;-)

My Writefag is a DICK! [OneShot?]

By: Vlaxion on Feb 10th, 2013 | syntax: None | size: 7.33 KB | hits: 134 | expires: Never

download | raw | embed | report abuse | print

Text below is selected. Please press Ctrl+C to copy to your clipboard. (⌘+C on Mac)

>It was quiet.
>You're keyboard felt cold for some reason.
>Even though you were just typing on it...
>You bring your hands to your chest.
>Something was off.
>Has writing My Little Pony Fanfiction gotten to you?
>No...
>You're probably tired or something.
*Sigh*
>Just when you heard [insert readers favorite writer] was about to update.
>Oh well...
>You scroll over to the Shut-down button.
I guess I'll just read it tomorrow morning.
>A Window pops up.
>"Are you sure? You have a program still running" [Or whatever window that would pop up usually]
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
>With closer examination, you see -what would be yes- said no.
>...
>You click on it anyway.
>4chan pops up.
What?
>All the boards on it was /mlp/
>All the threads in /mlp/ were AiE
...
>You open up the thread.
>Everything was normal.
>Tripfags in Equestria
>[insert current writer that is hated] pls go
>Remember when AiE was good?
>[insert popular writer here] WHERE ARE YOU?!
>Normal, normal, normal.
>Well, you guess this could be a sign of some kind.
>The AiE gods wish for you to read, so you shall.
>You scroll down.
>And down.
>This must be heaven! AiE content everywhere!
>You continued till you found something worth reading.
Hmm...
Hello everyone, this is my first time writing... Here I go!
>New writer?
>Might as well see how he does.
>Maybe he is the next [insert favorite writer] or something.
>...
>Where is he?
>New guy said he was going to post...
>[insert fav. writer that was about to post here] isnt here either!
>You continue to scroll down, slightly agitated.
The hell new guy?!
>Already at post 350
>Nothing.
>You stop scrolling.
Damn, what a drag...
>You lean back in your chair.
>Mhmm... You definitively need sleep.
>Extending your arm, stretching, you hear a crack.
Aw... Yeah... Thats good.
>A warm sensation began to radiate from your screen.
>?!
>"Anonymous."
WHA!
>You jump back.
>NOPE!
>As you try to move your chair, it jams.
>Come on, COME ON!
>You try your best not to look at the screen.
>God only knows whats on it.
>"Anonymous?"
>That voice...
Pinkie?
>You look at the screen to see a pinkiepie.gif open
Its a .gif *sigh*
>".gif?"
>You flinch.
>Pinkie's looks at you curiously
>Could this really be happening?
>No.
>Sleep.
>You are sleepy.
>As you try to turn the monitor off, Pinkiepie reaches out.
What the hell?!
>As her she reaches out of the screen, her hooves turn to hands.
>"It seems like your not a 'Pinkie' type of guy."
>You retract your hand as fast as you could.
>"Sorry about that." the voice softens.
>The PinkiePie.gif rearranges into Fluttershy.exe
>"We need you, anonymous."
FUCK THIS!
>You try to wiggle out of your chair.
>"Please, stop!"
>A hand reaches out and grabs you.
>SHITSHITSHITSHIIIIIIT!
>"I got you, just hold on!"
>You push yourself forward.
>"WAIT, DONT"
>You fell forward.
>Into your screen.
>"Now look what you've done."
>It was a male voice now...
>You look up and see that you are in a... meadow?
Wait... What...
>You crawl back until you hit a tree.
WHAT IS THIS?!
>"Look, I am a new writer, and-"
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!
>"Calm down."
HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EXPECT ME TO CALM DOWN?! WHERE IS MY COMPUTER? WHERE IS MY DESK?!
>"Yesh, most AiE readers would have caught on by now..."
>You stop.
>This... Can't be....
>Its sunny outside.
>...
>3:33 [A.M.] your ass.
>Keep cool, thats what most Anon's do when they get to Equestria. [lie]
>You stand up.
What is this?
>"Well that was fast."
...
>"This is Equestria. I need help with this AiE thing."
...
>"I can't quite get how a 'normal' Anon would act, so I grabbed one."
...
>"But, this isnt the first time i've done this... So don't be worried... Everything is under control."
>A weird sound can be heard coming from inside the woods.
>"CRAP! AN EVENT?! THIS SOON?! ANON GET OUT OF THERE!"
>Event?
>You lean in slightly, to get a better look.
Fuck.
>"Anon!"
>The smell of something HORRIBLE finally got to you.
>A cold sensation ran up your back.
>With your 'Eq' knowledge, you knew...
>"Timber Wolves!"
>As soon as you saw two green balls light up, you ran.
>Your arms... Your legs... They... They arent yours...
>You were wearing the custom suit that every Anon wore.
>If felt good, in a way.
>They were gaining on you.
>You can just FEEL the 'new man' inside of you.
>Because this is AiE... Then...
>You turn around.
HEY BASTARD!
>The wolf stops.
SUCK ON THIS!
>You throw a rock at it, aiming for his mouth.
>Surprisingly, it gets in.
>Like how you imagined it...
>It began to scratch the ground, and howl in pain, as it choked.
>A smile was grinning ear to ear on your face.
>You can't BELIEVE you just done that.
>"What a strange first event..."
>That voice.
Who are you?
>"A new writefag, hello!"
...
>"Yesh... Anyway, that was a weird first event... My guess is that you are in a marysue story or something."
What?
>"Yes, yes, most likely. Mary sue indeed."
Huh?
>"I bet right around now a pony will appear out of nowhere, or that it turns out you just saved a filly or something."
I dont-
>"Anyway, we can't dwell on things of the past now..."
Even-
>"Some readers LIKE Marysue stories, even though they complain about it."
>"RIGHT! So this is the story of Anon, the Mary Sue!"
...
>"He-hello?" a faint voice cried out.
>"Right on schedule..."
Hold on im-
>Its her.
>You've dreamed about this moment.
>Wrote stories, oneshots, and even clopped to this moment.
>Fluttershy.
>>"Mary sue~"
>They hell?!
>That voice got TWO greater then signs?!
>>"Hell yeah I do! 'Normal' characters get only one."
>So am I a normal character-
>>"BACK TO THE STORY!"
Hello, um...
>"Um..."
>You both freeze.
>>"DON'T BE AN AWKWARD FUCK, THEY ALWAYS ACT LIKE AN AWKWARD FUCK WHEN THEY MEET FLUTTERSHY!"
Hey, my name is Anonymous, Anon for short.
>This is so terrible, you think your gonna barf.
>But... This is how the other anons do it, right?
>"Th...Thank you for helping me there, I just don't know what would have... Happened to me back there..."
Its no biggie, I do that stuff all the time. [lie]
>>"So your going with that kind of approach, huh?"
>Butt out of this.
>"All the time?"
Yeah... I kinda get into trouble a lot.[lie]
>"A lot?"
>She looks up at you through her hair, worried.
WELL, NOT A LOT- A LOT! Hehe...
>>"Wow... Seriously, I can SMELL the spaghetti from HERE!"
>Shutup
>"Well..."
>She reaches inside a basket she had on her.
>"Here."
>It was a flower.
>A terrible sensation began to arise inside of you.
>As you look up, you can see it.
>Fluttershy smiling.
>YOUR HEART.
>FUCK.
>HNNNNNG
Thanks!
>"I'll... I'll see you around, ok?"
Ye-Yeah!
>She turns and walks away, smiling.
>>"Going for the Fluttershy route, eh?"
...
>>"Going for 'BIG HERO ACT!' - type Anon, huh?"
...
>>"Because in chapter 3, Fluttershy will get into a TERRIBLE situation, and only YOU will be able to save her."
...
>>"And when you do, she will fall madly in LOVE with you.
>LOVE?
Wait a second... How do you know about-
>>"I read AiE before man. I know about its shitty 'memes' and stuff"
...
>>"Anyway, go set off another event, or find a place to crash... My eyes are KILLING me."
What? When are you getting me out of here?!
>>"When I get a proper AiE story."
!
>>"A good 100 views in a pastebin sounds good, right?"
>Today, you learned something.
Writefags are dicks!

create a new version of this paste RAW Paste Data

>It was quiet.
>You're keyboard felt cold for some reason.
>Even though you were just typing on it...
>You bring your hands to your chest.
>Something was off.
>Has writing My Little Pony Fanfiction gotten to you?
>No...
>You're probably tired or something.
*Sigh*
>Just when you heard [insert readers favorite writer] was about to update.
>Oh well...
>You scroll over to the Shut-down button.
I guess I'll just read it tomorrow morning.
>A Window pops up.
>"Are you sure? You have a program still running" [Or whatever window that would pop up usually]
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
>With closer examination, you see -what would be yes- said no.
>...
>You click on it anyway.
>4chan pops up.
What?
>All the boards on it was /mlp/
>All the threads in /mlp/ were AiE

...
>You open up the thread.
>Everything was normal.
>Tripfags in Equestria
>[insert current writer that is hated] pls go
>Remember when AiE was good?
>[insert popular writer here] WHERE ARE YOU?!
>Normal, normal, normal.
>Well, you guess this could be a sign of some kind.
>The AiE gods wish for you to read, so you shall.
>You scroll down.
>And down.
>This must be heaven! AiE content everywhere!
>You continued till you found something worth reading.
Hmm...

Hello everyone, this is my first time writing... Here I go!

>New writer?
>Might as well see how he does.
>Maybe he is the next [insert favorite writer] or something.

>...
>Where is he?
>New guy said he was going to post...
>[insert fav. writer that was about to post here] isnt here either!
>You continue to scroll down, slightly agitated.
The hell new guy?!
>Already at post 350
>Nothing.
>You stop scrolling.
Damn, what a drag...
>You lean back in your chair.
>Mhmm... You definitively need sleep.
>Extending your arm, stretching, you hear a crack.
Aw... Yeah... Thats good.
>A warm sensation began to radiate from your screen.
>?!
>"Anonymous."
WHA!
>You jump back.
>NOPE!
>As you try to move your chair, it jams.
>Come on, COME ON!
>You try your best not to look at the screen.
>God only knows whats on it.
>"Anonymous?"
>That voice...
Pinkie?
>You look at the screen to see a pinkiepie.gif open 
Its a .gif *sigh*
>".gif?"
>You flinch.
>Pinkie's looks at you curiously
>Could this really be happening?
>No.
>Sleep.
>You are sleepy.
>As you try to turn the monitor off, Pinkiepie reaches out.
What the hell?!
>As her she reaches out of the screen, her hooves turn to hands.
>"It seems like your not a 'Pinkie' type of guy."

>You retract your hand as fast as you could.
>"Sorry about that." the voice softens.
>The PinkiePie.gif rearranges into Fluttershy.exe
>"We need you, anonymous."
FUCK THIS!
>You try to wiggle out of your chair.
>"Please, stop!"
>A hand reaches out and grabs you.
>SHITSHITSHITSHIIIIIIT!
>"I got you, just hold on!"
>You push yourself forward.
>"WAIT, DONT"
>You fell forward.
>Into your screen.

>"Now look what you've done."
>It was a male voice now...
>You look up and see that you are in a... meadow?
Wait... What...
>You crawl back until you hit a tree.
WHAT IS THIS?!
>"Look, I am a new writer, and-"
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!
>"Calm down."
HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EXPECT ME TO CALM DOWN?! WHERE IS MY COMPUTER? WHERE IS MY DESK?!
>"Yesh, most AiE readers would have caught on by now..."
>You stop.
>This... Can't be....
>Its sunny outside.
>...
>3:33 [A.M.] your ass.
>Keep cool, thats what most Anon's do when they get to Equestria. [lie]
>You stand up.
What is this?
>"Well that was fast."
...
>"This is Equestria. I need help with this AiE thing."
...
>"I can't quite get how a 'normal' Anon would act, so I grabbed one."
...
>"But, this isnt the first time i've done this... So don't be worried... Everything is under control."
>A weird sound can be heard coming from inside the woods.
>"CRAP! AN EVENT?! THIS SOON?! ANON GET OUT OF THERE!"
>Event?
>You lean in slightly, to get a better look.

Fuck.
>"Anon!"
>The smell of something HORRIBLE finally got to you.
>A cold sensation ran up your back.
>With your 'Eq' knowledge, you knew...
>"Timber Wolves!"
>As soon as you saw two green balls light up, you ran.
>Your arms... Your legs... They... They arent yours...
>You were wearing the custom suit that every Anon wore.
>If felt good, in a way.
>They were gaining on you.
>You can just FEEL the 'new man' inside of you.
>Because this is AiE... Then...
>You turn around.
HEY BASTARD!
>The wolf stops.
SUCK ON THIS!
>You throw a rock at it, aiming for his mouth.
>Surprisingly, it gets in.
>Like how you imagined it...
>It began to scratch the ground, and howl in pain, as it choked.
>A smile was grinning ear to ear on your face.
>You can't BELIEVE you just done that.
>"What a strange first event..."
>That voice.
Who are you?
>"A new writefag, hello!"
...
>"Yesh... Anyway, that was a weird first event... My guess is that you are in a marysue story or something."
What?
>"Yes, yes, most likely. Mary sue indeed."
Huh?
>"I bet right around now a pony will appear out of nowhere, or that it turns out you just saved a filly or something."
I dont-
>"Anyway, we can't dwell on things of the past now..."
Even-
>"Some readers LIKE Marysue stories, even though they complain about it."


>"RIGHT! So this is the story of Anon, the Mary Sue!"
...
>"He-hello?" a faint voice cried out.
>"Right on schedule..." 
Hold on im-
>Its her.
>You've dreamed about this moment.
>Wrote stories, oneshots, and even clopped to this moment.
>Fluttershy.
>>"Mary sue~"
>They hell?! 
>That voice got TWO greater then signs?!
>>"Hell yeah I do! 'Normal' characters get only one."
>So am I a normal character-
>>"BACK TO THE STORY!"

Hello, um...
>"Um..."
>You both freeze.
>>"DON'T BE AN AWKWARD FUCK, THEY ALWAYS ACT LIKE AN AWKWARD FUCK WHEN THEY MEET FLUTTERSHY!"
Hey, my name is Anonymous, Anon for short.
>This is so terrible, you think your gonna barf.
>But... This is how the other anons do it, right?

>"Th...Thank you for helping me there, I just don't know what would have... Happened to me back there..."
Its no biggie, I do that stuff all the time. [lie]
>>"So your going with that kind of approach, huh?"
>Butt out of this.
>"All the time?"
Yeah... I kinda get into trouble a lot.[lie]
>"A lot?"
>She looks up at you through her hair, worried.
WELL, NOT A LOT- A LOT! Hehe...
>>"Wow... Seriously, I can SMELL the spaghetti from HERE!"
>Shutup
>"Well..."
>She reaches inside a basket she had on her.
>"Here."
>It was a flower.
>A terrible sensation began to arise inside of you.
>As you look up, you can see it.
>Fluttershy smiling.
>YOUR HEART.
>FUCK.
>HNNNNNG
Thanks!
>"I'll... I'll see you around, ok?"
Ye-Yeah! 
>She turns and walks away, smiling.
>>"Going for the Fluttershy route, eh?"
...
>>"Going for 'BIG HERO ACT!' - type Anon, huh?"
...
>>"Because in chapter 3, Fluttershy will get into a TERRIBLE situation, and only YOU will be able to save her."
...
>>"And when you do, she will fall madly in LOVE with you.
>LOVE?
Wait a second... How do you know about-
>>"I read AiE before man. I know about its shitty 'memes' and stuff"
...
>>"Anyway, go set off another event, or find a place to crash... My eyes are KILLING me."
What? When are you getting me out of here?!
>>"When I get a proper AiE story."
!
>>"A good 100 views in a pastebin sounds good, right?"
>Today, you learned something.
Writefags are dicks!

Pastebin.com Tools & Applications

iPhone/iPad

Windows

Firefox

Chrome

WebOS

Android

Mac

Opera

Click.to

UNIX

WinPhone