My Writefag is a DICK! 2 [OneShot?]

>>"There we go! 100 views!"

What?!

>You look up angrily.

>>"Implying I am watching you from above."

Ugh... Now what?

>>"Like I said, set off another event... Or find somewhere to sleep. When you sleep, I sleep. When you stop, I stop."

>A thought suddenly hit you.

What if... I die?

>>"..."

>Fuck.

>>"I guess it will be a bad ending... But if you die a hero, then you die forever."

Wha-WHA?

>>"Die a shit death, i'll pull a dick move and revive you somehow."

HOW IS THAT-

>>"Readers dont like a mary sue."

>The sun was well on its way over the horizon.

>A Redish-blue sky swam over your head before you knew it.

>You really should find a place to crash now...

>Not wanting to fight with the writer, you wonder off.

>It didn't really matter, right?

>>"Right."

HOW THE HELL CAN YOU HEAR WHAT I AM THINKING?!

>>"Im writing it."

>Not even your thoughts were safe.

>>"I'll just write you walking towards Ponyville... Just go ahead and walk in any direction, I'll take care of the rest."

...

>There was no way to win this battle.

>Dragging your feet, you make your way towards civilization.

 

>It took no longer then 3 minutes before you saw Ponyville.

>Ponies were lighting up their houses, as the sun was going down.

>Some were eating on outside benches, and some were just taking a stroll in the sunset.

>The red horizon gave Ponyville a beautiful view, and tugged at your heart.

>You place your hand on your chest.

Oh, how I've waited... For this day to-

>>"CUM"

...

>That fucker.

>>"Anyway, it seems like you need to quickly find a place to crash. Some of the ponies are still out and about, maybe you can catch one off guard and woo them over.~"

>You are NOT going to do that.

>>"You're right. Dating/sexing up the ponies on the first day of arrival always leads to a bad story... A rushed clop."

>In the corner of your eye, you spot Applejack and RainbowDash.

>They seem to be worn out...

>A Race?

>Or some kind of competitive sport?

>Those two are always at it...

>>"Here's your chance."

>SHUT-UP!

>>"Hue"

 

Hey, you two alright?

>"Woah... Who's this guy, friend of yours AJ?"

>Applejack walks up close and squints her eyes.

>"Can't say that I have met this guy..."

>She smelled nice.

>You were so tempted to touch her mane..

>To see if its as soft as it looked...

>Applejack retreated back, standing next to RainbowDash.

>"I bet hes just be'in friendly, Rainbow. Eheh, Mah name is AppleJack, this here is RainbowDash."

My name is An-

>They both continued to walk, almost completely ignoring you.

-onymous...

>"We just had a hay liften contest, and -I- was the winner" She says proudly, while walking taller.

>"NU-UUUH!" RainbowDash responded angrily, "It was a tie!"

>You began to step slowly away.

>>"Dude. Nail them. Nail them both. Have you read A Dash Of Applesauce? GO FOR THE RAINBOWDASHxAPPLEJACKxANON ending instead!!"

What?

>>"Everyone likes it when Anon goes for two ponies at ONCE."

>You were looking for a phrase...

>Started with fuck, and ended with you.

 

>The write-fag continued

>>"If you do this, I'll even write..."

>The voice stopped.

>>"The clop scene." The writefag whispered

>That time, the voice felt so close...

>It was creepy.

>But no.

>You will not give up on Fluttershy.

>She IS BEST pony after all.

>>"Woah, woah, woah... WHAT?"

>Fuck you, she is kawaii as fuck!

>>"Bitch!"

>RainbowDash and AppleJack suddenly scream!

>They... Are gone? Both AppleJack and Rainbowdash could not be scene.

>"Down here!"

>Without a moment to lose, you sprint over to see where they were.

>Some sort of... Hole?

>This hole reminded you of those holes Team Rocket used to dig in Pokémon.

>But a bit smaller.

>"Hey! GET OFF OF MY WINGS AJ!"

>"You git off of my hooves!"

>They tried to struggle, but it was no use.

 

>>"So-"

>Fuck you.

>"Hey... Ya mind helpin us out? I cant- Seem ta- Git out-"

>...

>>"Well would you look at that. Now what are the odds of that-"

>Fuck you.

Sure! Um...

>You see a rope conveniently tied to a tree.

>...

>On the end of it, a note.

>"Give them the D. Applejack is into Anal, and RainbowDash likes it when you pull on her wings~"

>Fuck you.

>You grab the rope and make your way towards the hole.

>>"Hey man, i'm just to help you get laid!"

>For last time, FUCK YOU.

>You lower the rope down.

>RainbowDash and AppleJack both bite down at the same time.

>"Hey I go first!"

>"Excuse me?"

>They began to go at it again.

Look, I can pull both of you guys up. Just... hang on.

>Both of them stared at each other for a moment.

>They both nod, then bite the rope once more.

>Slowly, you pulled both of the mares out of the hole.

 

>"I appreciate yer help eh... What was yer name again, heheh."

>Applejack smiled shyly.

>"Its An...dy, right?" RainbowDash questioned.

>They were to busy yabbing at each other to hear your name before.

Its Anonymous, Anon for short.

>"Ya sure are strong, Anon~"

>Applejack slides herself next to you.

>Rainbowdash immediately catches on, and splits you two apart.

>"So, you a new resident in Ponyville, or just visiting?" RainbowDash asked.

Well I was-

>"Ya'll good at Apple buckin? I imagine ya'll WOULD be. Good at uh... Buckin!"

>You and Rainbow look at Applejack with confusion.

As I was saying... I am looking for a place to stay and-

>"Why didn't ya say so! Down at the barn, we got plenty of beds!" [lie]

>"He-hey! Whadda ya saying AJ?! Your younger cousin... Babs, was it? Isnt she sleeping over?" [lie]

>AppleJack ponders for a moment.

>"Shucks, I think so..." [gullible]

>RainbowDash scratches behind her head.

>"But hey, Anon? Ya can always sleep at my place, haha... Its really comfy and cool-"

>"He can't sleep at YOUR place!" AppleJack interrupted.

>"WELL WHY NOT?!"

>"Because... Uh... He aint pegasi folk."

>AppleJack smiles proudly, assuming she won the conversation.

>RainbowDash sits down, and rubs the back of her head again.

 

>Suddenly wing flare.

>>"Totally a wing boner."

>Fucking hell, this autistic writer.

>"Y'all weren't thinking about something indecent, were you Rainbow?" Applejack questioned in anger.

>"Nu-Nu-No! Hehe."

>RainbowDash smiles sheepishly

>"Well, Anon." Applejack turns to you, "I guess I'll lead ya'll to Ponyville, and help ya find a place."

>RainbowDash got up and flew up into the air.

>"Lets get going then!"

>You smile.

>Both mares blushed and turned away.

>"C'mon yall... Lets get going, its getting kinda dark."

>The three of you make your way towards Ponyville.