Overly Protective Celestia - Part Two

>Still be the adopted teenage son of Celestia.

>Apparently she thought you were too young to be trying to smooch p0nies?

>Something like that.

>But you’re sure your mom, in all of her wisdom, is making this decision with your best interests in mind.

>Actually no fuck that parents are dumb.

>You are thirteen and this is how you feel.

>If you had any music to blast defiantly you would certainly be doing so.

>It didn’t matter now anyways.

>Today was a brand new day, and you’d show your mom that she can’t put Anon on a chain.

>That is why you had orchestrated an ingenious plan to get together with Twinkleshine today.

>Your timing couldn’t be more perfect.

>Celestia would be preoccupied for the entire day, considering it was that time of the month.

>That’s right.

>The castle tour was happening today.

>You know, the thing that only happens once a month.

>Twinkleshine was going to go on the tour, and with Celestia being too busy to notice, you would pull her away and run around the castle, showing her the sights yourself.

>In your opinion it would be way more enjoyable than going on some lame tour.

>Those things were always crowded anyways.

>So many p0nies come by just to get a look at the castle

>There is no way Celestia would notice a single p0ny missing from the group.

>It was going to happen.

>Tonight, you were going to get your first kiss.

>Mom’s don’t count.

 

>Leaving your room, you head down the castle hallway towards the main chamber.

>That’s where all the tourists would be gathering.

>It’s also where Celestia would be starting the tour, and you for sure didn’t want her to see you there.

>Wouldn’t want her to get suspicious.

>Descending the main hall’s staircase, you start to scout for an acceptable hiding place.

>Hiding behind some potted plants was not going to cut it this time.

>You settle for the utility closet beneath the staircase.

>Stepping inside you leave the door ever so slightly ajar and sit on the floor.

>Time to play the waiting game.

--

>This was a poorly thought out plan.

>You actually had no idea when the tour was scheduled to start.

>So here you’ve been, hiding in a closet.

>It’s been a grueling ten or so minutes.

>You lost count long ago.

>Math wasn’t your strong suit.

>It wasn’t all bad though.

>There were mops.

>And buckets.

>Wait what are you thinking the time in here’s been shit.

>Buckets did fuck all to make the closet more bearable.

>For being full of cleaning supplies it sure is dirty in here.

>Isn’t that the definition of irony or something?

>What the fuck really is irony anyways?

>Wait, do you hear something?

>Oh hey look thinking about random shit really does work to pass time.

>You can hear the suppressed mumblings of a large group of p0nies now.

>Looking through the slight opening you see them.

>And it’s a disgusting sight.

 

>Tourists.

>Well, to be honest, they weren’t all tourists.

>Some of them were Canterlot citizens that just liked to see the castle.

>The tourists however, stuck out like sore hooves/thumbs.

>Them and their sunhats and cameras.

>Since this was a tour, wouldn’t that technically make everyone here a tourist?

>That’s what you call people on tours isn’t it? Fuck, stop thinking about shit man.

>You’re not even sure why you dislike tourists you just do.

>It just seemed like something everyp0ny did.

>Peer pressure you guess, whatever, you think something’s happening now.

>The large group of p0nies had turned their attention, by what you could tell from your limited viewing angle, up towards the stairs.

>Your suspicions were correct; you could hear mother giving them the skinny.

>Skinny?

>Ughh, you really need to stop thinking about stupid word related shit.

>She was just telling them that Canterlot Castle has a rich history, blablabla, it’s thousands of years old, blablabla, don’t touch jack, blablabla…

>Finally, the group started going up the stairs and following her.

>As the number of p0nies in your view dwindles, you start to slowly leave the closest.

>This was still a stealth mission damn it and you didn’t plan on getting seen.

>”Anon!”

>Aww fuck game over you lose.

>Oh wait that’s Twinkleshine heading towards you.

>Well, that’s like the entire plan done right there.

>This wasn’t hard at all.

>Good Job.

 

“Twinkleshine! Looks like you found me instead, well this will make things a lot easier.”

>“Umm, yeah. About that Anon…”

>Oh man prepare for disappointment.

>”She saw me.”

>What?

“Uh, elaborate a bit please?”

>”Your mom, Anon. While I was waiting in the crowd, she stopped by me and started talking to me.”

“Oh no, what’d she say? Did she tell you anything about me? If she did don’t believe any of it!”

>”No, she didn’t say anything about you. But she did ask if I was your marefriend.”

“Oh. Well what did you say?”

>”Of course I said yes. But then, she… she kind of looked at me funny.”

>Aww yes, you’re sure you know what face she’s talking about.

>Disapproving_Celestia.png

>”Then she said something like, ‘well I’m certainly not going to question my son’s choice of mare’.”

>Classy mom, real classy.

>”I don’t think your mom likes me, Anon.”

>Yeah honestly Celestia probably hated Twinkleshine on the sole grounds of her being the mare that was dating her, in her eyes, ‘too young to date’ son.

>Here’s an idea, tell Twinkleshine that, maybe it won’t make her feel like shit.

“Nah, come on that’s ridiculous.”

>It really wasn’t.

“I wouldn’t worry about it if I were you.”

>You really wouldn’t

>”Really? Are you sure she doesn’t have any problem with us dating or anything?”

“Well uh… We should really get started on that private tour of ours.”

>You drape your arm around her side and start escorting her towards the stairs.

>The official tour had long since started, but the unofficial fun tour (‘funofficial’) was just about to begin.

 

>Alright, it was official, the ‘funofficial’ tour blew.

>You didn’t realize the second part of your plan was also poorly planned out as well.

>You knew jack about the castle.

>Sure you lived here and all, but it’s not like you gave two shits about architecture or whatever.

>Anyways, Twinkleshine was getting bored.

>Hell, you were bored.

>This was very boring.

>You were very boring.

>Maybe it was time to do something a little interesting.

>Suddenly brilliance strikes.

“So, Twinkle, maybe it’s time we kicked things up a notch.”

>She instantly becomes interested.

>You lead her through the many corridors of the castle.

>It’s a miracle you managed to learn your way around this place.

>Soon you arrive at your destination.

>Standing before a very ornate door, Twinkleshine speaks up beside you.

>”So what have you brought me to see?”

>You pass her a cheeky grin as you go to push open the door.

>As light slowly fills the room its contents are put on display.

>The walls were coated in countless shades of dark blue.

>Specks of varying sizes of white spheres dotted the ceiling, giving the impression of a night sky.

>Of to the side was a rather large bed, along with some other furnishings, like a wardrobe and a desk.

>These things were all made out of wood that had long since taken an aged look.

>Intricate designs and patterns twisted and branched along surface they could find.

>Fitting in with this aged motif, every single object that was scattered about the room, placed precariously on the many shelves within, was some sort of antique.

>If it wasn’t made of a colored wood that had started to fade and splinter, it was a made of a copper that no longer shined, or a silver that was more grey than it was lustrous.

>The room was a view towards the past, a relic, and to you, a novelty.

“Welcome to Princess Luna’s room, Twinkle.”

 

>Stepping into Luna’s quarters, Twinkleshine follows apprehensively behind.

>”A-Anon, are you sure it’s alright to be in here?”

“Haha, nope!”

>Man you were breaking so many rules.

>Well what’s the worst that could happen right?

>Actually you knew the answer.

>Auntie Luna had taken to giving you nightmares whenever you misbehaved.

>Not by Celestia’s request or anything.

>She just thought it was funny.

>Like hell it was.

>They needed to replace your mattress afterwards.

>Oh the shame you felt.

>Anyway that was years ago.

>Now was the time to go digging through your aunt’s stuff.

>Going for the desk, you start to sift through its drawers.

>”You know this hasn’t been as much of a tour as I thought it would be.”

>You look up from the very interesting box of ink bottles you were just looking at.

“Hey, come on, we had fun right? Remember when we passed that display of rocks-“

>”Gemstones.”

“Yeah those, and I told you how they were special and stuff. Good times, right?”

>”Sorry if I didn’t find that to be too fun.”

>Dang, that was actually one of the highlights of your journey so far.

>They were some pretty rocks.

“Well now we’re snooping through Luna’s stuff, that’s pretty fun right?”

>”But why?”

>Aw yes, the unbeatable argument.

>Why the fuck were you rummaging through some writing supplies?

>This shit is for scribes, not immature kids.

“Because this castle’s boring! That’s why!”

>That’s a reason alright.

 

“I don’t even understand how they can have a tour on it there’s nothing interesting here at all, just a bunch of hallways and fancy doors.”

>It was a fact that Canterlot Castle was 33% doors.

>The rest was comprised of guards, walls, and windows.

“That’s why I just wanted to hang out with you Twinkle. It’s so stupidly dull around here, and it’s not like my mom lets me go out that often anyway.”

>You instantly remember your most recent back and forth with Celestia and start to laugh a little, slightly lifting your mood.

“Wanna know something? My mom’s not too comfortable with me having a marefriend and everything.”

>Twinkleshine sighs.

>”I knew something was up with the way she looked at me.”

“Ha, yeah well, I think she’s being ridiculous about the whole thing. Heh… Certainly doesn’t make my life here in Equestria any easier…”

>You practically whispered didn’t even say that last part it was so quiet.

>Way to make yourself sad.

>Closing the drawer you had long since stopped paying attention to, you listen as Twinkleshine adds her thoughts.

>”Alright, so maybe the impromptu tour was a bust.”

>She walks up to your side and looks up at you with that warm smile.

>”But that doesn’t mean I don’t like spending time with you. And hey, parents will overreact right? My dad’s going crazy over the fact I’m dating the only human in Equestria.”

>A few giggles escape her.

>”I still can’t figure out if he thinks it’s a good or bad thing.”

“Just don’t worry about any of my problems, everything’s under control.”

>Giving the room a final glance, you look towards Twinkle and motion towards the door.

“Guess we should be heading out of here now, right?”

>”Let’s.”

>Walking for the door, you start to think about what you’re going to do with Twinkle for the rest of the day.

>You grab for the door.

>Does it even matter if Celestia finds out the two of you are-

>CELESTIA.

 

>Yup that’s the group of tourists alright.

>Being led by none other than Celestia.

>Man what impeccable timing.

>You and Twinkleshine just stand by the door, looking over the group with blank expressions.

>Everything was awkward right now.

>Prepare to be chastised, Anon.

>Your mother however, in all of her tour guiding wisdom, does not miss a beat, and starts talking in a peppy, informative voice.

>”Off to the left here you’ll see two youths engaging in some rather non-recreational activities.”

>She was acting like any other proper guide right now.

>”We would like to take this time to remind you that as a mother figure I do not condone any of Anonymous’ actions here, and his punishment shall be personally seen to as a private Canterlot affair.”

>It seemed like Celestia had started to have fun with that little job of hers.

>”We must also ask that you refrain from any and all flash photography.”

>Yeah she was totally fucking with you yet again.

>”Now, our next stop is at the Canterlot Archives just ahead.”

>Could it be?

>Hath Celestia shown mercy?

>She starts leading the tourists once more, but as she passes by the two of you her gaze narrows and her voice drops.

>”Don’t think you’re off the hook mister.”

>Of course not.

>”You and I shall be having a talk about all this later.”

“Mom.”

>”I’m sure she’s a fine mare, but my opinion still stands. And sneaking behind my back during this? Did you think I wouldn’t notice?”

>You shrug.

“I was hoping so, yeah.”

>With a final sigh, Celestia turns around and faces the group once more.

>You watch as they all follow her diligently.

>”Guess you’re in some hot water now, huh?” Twinkleshine says from your side.

“When aren’t I nowadays?”

>And as Celestia leads her group of p0nies, she adds one thing.

>”Did you know, that the average relationship for kids their age lasts three months?”

>The crowd eats up that statistic.