- >Be teenage Anonymous in Canterlot.
- >Be on a hot date with Twinkleshine.
- >Be ready as fuck for sloppy pony makeouts.
- >You had taken her for a walk in the park because you were classy as all hell.
- >Also mares love walks in the park, this is an indisputable fact.
- >Reaching a bench on the side of the trail, the two of you decide to sit down.
- >Oh man date number three was going to be the one.
- >You could feel it in your special places.
- >Shut up, you’re only thirteen, faggot.
- >Doing your best fake yawn, you stretch out your arms and place one around Twinkleshine’s neck.
- >You were so smooth.
- >“I’ve had a lot of fun tonight, Anonymous.”
- >Oh yeah, you were going to reach whatever base this was for sure.
- >You were never a big fan of hoofball.
- “What can I say? I just know how to have a good time.”
- >You pull her in a little closer.
- >She turns her head with a blush and smile across her face.
- >Keep it up dude.
- >“That just makes me wonder what else you have planned.”
- >OH SHIT.
- >SHE SO WANTS IT.
- >Your tongue that is.
- >In her mouth.
- >Kissing sure is strange to your adolescent mind.
- >Time to make the move.
- “Well, if you really want to find out…”
- >She slowly turns her head towards yours and affixes her gaze upon your own.
- >The cute blush and innocent smile still on her face.
- >You can’t help but to admire her pretty face.
- >The little curl in her mane.
- >Her sparkling white coat.
- >How the sun reflected off her blue eyes in a brilliant display.
- >You could just get lost in it- wait where the fuck did it go?
- >The reflection that was once present is no more.
- >That is to say, the sun just up and fucking left the sky.
- >The sun has set and it is now twilight.
- >Oh hell naw.
- >You quickly turn around out of paranoia, eyes darting back and forth.
- >She was almost certainly watching you from somewhere.
- >This just reeked of conspiracies.
- >It doesn’t take Twinkleshine long to figure out what has your attention.
- >“What? How’d it get this late so fast?”
- >What a fucking mystery.
- >You turn your attention back to your date.
- >“I’m sorry Anonymous, but my dad told me to be home by sunset. If I don’t get back soon he’ll have my cutie mark for this!”
- >Damn it.
- “Can’t even stay for five more minutes? For me?”
- >Come on please work please please
- >“Sorry Anonymous, really! But I have to get home as quick as possible.”
- >Yup, she was in full panic mode now.
- >Her dad was gonna beat her ass for sure.
- >Time to abort the mission.
- “Alright then…”
- >You can’t help but sigh.
- “My mom wanted me home by sunset too anyways. Until later then?”
- >“Definitely,” she says, having regained some of her composure.
- >She shoots you a quick smile before hopping off the bench.
- >You watch her as she gallops away, asking herself how she managed to lose track of time.
- >It was a question you knew the answer to.
- >Standing up, you start to reluctantly head in the opposite direction Twinkleshine left in.
- >It takes a solid thirty minutes for you to reach your home.
- >Canterlot Castle.
- >Closing the grand double doors behind you, you turn around and formally enter the main chamber.
- >There atop the stairs, sits Princess Celestia, looking down on you.
- “Hi mom.”
- >You say as plainly as possible
- >“Last I checked, you were supposed to be home by sunset.”
- >She was using her typical upset mother voice on you.
- >Time to call her out on her bullshit.
- “And last I checked, it wasn’t supposed to be sunset for another hour.”
- >“You should know better than to actually rely on the times listed in the newspaper.”
- >Right. Who provides those times by the way?
- “So you’re saying you had nothing to do with the fact that the sun shot down below the horizon in less than five seconds?”
- >“Now why would I do that?”
- >There’s no irritation in her voice now or anything, she’s just playing innocent.
- >She is literally just fucking with you now isn’t she?
- >The last thing you want to do however, is actually admit that you were about to do the tongue-tango with somep0ny.
- >Clearly she didn’t want you getting intimate in any way with a mare.
- >The bitch.
- >Wait no, that’s your mom dude. Not cool.
- “Well, you just so happen to be the only one capable of moving the sun, so I think it’s safe to assume you had something to do with it.”
- >She starts to laugh.
- >You are full of so much angsty teenage anger right now it’s unreal.
- >“Anon, are you implying I would misuse my powers for some childish reason?”
- >Yes actually.
- “How’d you do it, huh? Were you using that telescope on the top of the castle? I bet you were you liar.”
- >She just tut-tuts at you.
- >“Son, now that would be just ridiculous.”
- >Suddenly her gaze narrows on you and her voice becomes serious.
- >Slowly, she starts descending the stairs.
- >”Unless, you were about to do something you wouldn’t want me to see.”
- “Like me about to makeout with my marefriend?”
- >Hand, meet mouth. Mouth, meet shut the fuck up.
- >That was NOT supposed to exit your gaping hole just now.
- >Celestia’s brow furrows even more.
- “You weren’t supposed to hear about that.”
- >She shakes her head in disappointment.
- >“Oh Anonymous…”
- “Oh come on! What’s the big deal?”
- >All of a sudden you feel weightless.
- >Yup, Celestia’s lifting you with her magic.
- >You feel like a five year old again.
- >”You’re too young to be in a relationship, Anonymous. You’ll just have to wait until you’re one hundred and eight like I did.”
- >She starts carrying you towards your room.
- >Guess you won’t be seeing Twinkleshine for a while.
- “Mom, please. At least let me keep some of my dignity.”
- >Your pleas go ignored as you’re eventually brought into your room and dropped off inside.
- >After landing on your ass, you stand up and move towards Celestia.
- “Mom, seriously! You’re being unreasonable!”
- >“Anonymous, you’re just not mature enough to be in any kind of romantic relationship right now.”
- >Oh please, you were so mature.
- “MOOOM, THAT’S NOT FAIIIR!!”
- >Case in point.
- >As she exits your room and closes the door behind her, you don’t hear her whisper under her breath.
- >”Besides, nop0ny’s good enough for you anyways.
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