Pastebin launched a little side project called HostCabi.net, check it out ;-)Don't like ads? PRO users don't see any ads ;-)

First Date

By: Uncle_Brainhorn on Oct 9th, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 11.10 KB  |  hits: 478  |  expires: Never
download  |  raw  |  embed  |  report abuse  |  print
Text below is selected. Please press Ctrl+C to copy to your clipboard. (⌘+C on Mac)
  1. >Fluttershy zooms around her cottage, making sure everything looked nice for when Anon arrived.
  2. >Anon was always such a good friend to her, and she developed feelings for him.
  3. >After months and months, he had finally asked her out on a date.
  4. >And, tonight was the night.
  5. >She checks her mane in the mirror one more time.
  6. >It was styled to the side, with flowers woven in.
  7. >He'd love it for sure.
  8. >Now, for the finishing touch.
  9. >Opening a drawer, she opens a crystal vial of mare pheromone.
  10. >She liberally applies it to her neck and mane.
  11. >This would drive Anon wild for sure!
  12. >She can't help but giggle in anticipation as she puts the bottle in her shoulder bag.
  13. >Sitting on her sofa, she waits as patiently as she can for Anon to arrive.
  14. ~~~~~~~~~~~
  15. >You are Anonymous.
  16. >You were brought to Equestria almost two years ago now.
  17. >To be honest, it's a pretty good living here.
  18. >It took a while to get used to, but everyone here was incredibly friendly and helpful.
  19. >Plus, there was Fluttershy.
  20. >She's the kindest, most beautiful creature you've ever met, and you love her.
  21. >In love with a pony; wouldn't your parents be proud?
  22. >Checking your looks in the mirror one last time, you grab your sack of bits and head out.
  23.  
  24. ----
  25.  
  26. >You stop by Roseluck's stall on the way over for a bouquet.
  27. >Unsure of what Fluttershy would like, you go with the traditional red roses.
  28. >Reaching her house, you take a few moments to check yourself over.
  29. >Hair seems fine, clothes have no smudges, remembered your money, and brought her some flowers.
  30. >You're golden.
  31. >Taking a deep breath, you knock on her door.
  32. >You hear a loud "eep" coming from inside, followed by a loud clattering.
  33. >The knock must have startled her.
  34. >You can faintly hear the ticking and tacking of items being replaced, and Fluttershy saying "Oh my oh my oh my" over and over.
  35. >After about half a minute, the sound stops and you hear her softly clear her throat.
  36. >The door swings open, and you see Fluttershy.
  37. >She looks beautiful.
  38. >"Hello Anon." she says bashfully.
  39. "Hey, Fluttershy. You look beautiful tonight."
  40. >She blushes deeply, but smiles.
  41. >You kneel down, and hug her.
  42. >She's soft and warm and smells like rancid piss.
  43. >That last part takes you by surprise and you gag.
  44. >You stand quickly, getting away from the smell before you puke.
  45. >Fluttershy looks confused.
  46. >"What's the matter, Anon?"
  47. >What's the matter?
  48. >Why the hell would she possibly smell that bad, that's the matter!
  49. "Nothing!" you lie through your teeth. "Oh, and I brought you some roses!"
  50.  
  51. ----
  52.  
  53. >"Oh, thank you, Anon, those look delicious!"
  54. >What
  55. >"But I'll wait until later to have them. I don't want to spoil my appetite for dinner."
  56. >She takes them from your hand and puts them into an ice box.
  57. >Oh, right.
  58. >Pony.
  59. >As she trots back over to her, you become aware of the smell again.
  60. >Oh Christ that's nasty.
  61. >But, you can do this; you're not going to be so petty as to let her smell get in the way of your first date.
  62. "Ready to go?" you force a smile, even though your eyes are beginning to water.
  63. >"I'm ready if you're ready."
  64. "Ok, then lets go!"
  65.  
  66. >As you walk through town, you unconsciously try and keep your distance from Fluttershy.
  67. >Thankfully, she doesn't seem to notice.
  68. >She also doesn't seem to notice the looks she's getting from the few stallions you see.
  69. >These aren't the usual "pony dating the human" stares you're used to.
  70. >There's something almost lusty about them.
  71. >You'll have to be careful.
  72. >Finally, you reach the restaurant.
  73. >You can't pronounce it's name, but it's a really fancy place.
  74. >"Oh, Anon! You got reservations here!?"
  75. >Wow, she seems excited.
  76. >Looks like you made a good choice.
  77.  
  78. ----
  79.  
  80. >Heading inside, you see a snooty looking pony standing behind a podium.
  81. >He almost sneers as he sees you approach.
  82. >"Do yew have a reseurvaztion?"
  83. >You can hardly understand him with that accent.
  84. "Yes. Anonymous. Table for two."
  85. >He flips through the booklet in front of him.
  86. >"Ah, yez, meestur Anonmoos!"
  87. >He looks to Fluttershy.
  88. >"And mees Flooturshy! I moost say, yew look very sexy tonight!"
  89. >Fluttershy blushes furiously, and shrinks back behind you.
  90. >This makes you notice her smell more than ever, but you ignore it.
  91. "Alright, so." you say quickly, "Where do we sit."
  92. >"Oh yez, of coorse, of coorse, right thees way!"
  93. >You follow him through the restaurant, Fluttershy following so close it's hard to walk.
  94. >More stares from the stallions, and by now, Fluttershy seems to notice.
  95. >Finally, you reach your table, and sit down.
  96. >It's not a very large table, and you can smell Fluttershy quite clearly.
  97. >"Yoor waitur weel be with yew shortly."
  98. >As he walks away, you sit with Fluttershy in awkward silence.
  99. >Her smell is really starting to get to you, now, but you still don't want to bring it up.
  100. "So. This place seems nice."
  101. >Fluttershy nods, seemingly relieved you broke the tension.
  102. >"Yes, it is. The nicest you can get without going all the way to Manehattan."
  103. "Well... I hope the food is good."
  104. >And with that, you fall back into smelly silence.
  105.  
  106. ----
  107.  
  108. >"Can I take your order?"
  109. >Both you and Fluttershy jump when the unicorn breaks your bubble of awkwardness.
  110. >Fluttershy grabs her menu.
  111. >"I'll have the onion soup with parsley, garlic stewed mushrooms, and a side of tulips, please."
  112. >She glances over at you.
  113. >"If that's alright with you, that is..."
  114. "Of course, you can have what you want."
  115. >"Alright," the waiter says, magically writing her order down with a quill.
  116. >"How about you, sir?"
  117. >You're really not in the mood to eat right now.
  118. >Your stomach turns at the mere thought of trying to eat with this smell.
  119. >But, you have to try and keep a pretty face on things.
  120. "Uh, I'll have a salad. Extra lettuce, no hay or flowers.
  121. >"Right. Your orders will be along shortly."
  122. >As he leaves, you turn back to Fluttershy.
  123. >She almost seems distressed.
  124. "So. How are things?"
  125. >"Fine." she says, softly.
  126. "Ok... what about Angel Bunny? Still giving you a hard time?"
  127. >This time she offers a small smile.
  128. >"A little..."
  129. >You smile, too, except yours is forced.
  130. >The smell is getting to you, and you don't know how long you can take it.
  131.  
  132. ----
  133.  
  134. >Finally, the waiter returns with your orders.
  135. >Fluttershy has a feast before her, while you're left with a plate with lettuce piled onto it.
  136. >Not even any dressing.
  137. >Any other night, this would have pissed you off.
  138. >Fluttershy is slowing eating her soup, so you should eat, too.
  139. >You grab your fork and spear a piece of lettuce.
  140. >Taking a bite, you immediately regret it.
  141. >As soon as the food hits your upset stomach, you gag loudly, earning you a few approving stares.
  142. >"Are you ok, Anon?"
  143. "Yeah, of course! I just swallowed wrong."
  144. >You need some fresh air.
  145. "Hey, I'll be right back, ok? I need to take care of something."
  146. >Without waiting for a reply, you get up and head for the bathroom.
  147. ~~~~~~~~~~~
  148. >Fluttershy is distraught.
  149. >The date isn't going well at all.
  150. >Anon has been acting weird since he showed up at her house, and it's worrying her.
  151. >What if he doesn't really like her?
  152. >What if he doesn't really want to be with her?
  153. >All she can do is try and win him over.
  154. >She opens her should bag and takes out a bottle.
  155. >A little more pheromone should help...
  156.  
  157. ----
  158.  
  159. >Ok.
  160. >You've breathed some clean air, and settled your stomach.
  161. >You can do this.
  162. >Leaving the bathroom, you head back toward the table.
  163. >You see a young stallion talking to Fluttershy while she looks visibly distressed.
  164. >Getting close, you can hear the conversation.
  165. >"... head back to my place, and I'll show you the time of your life!"
  166. >"Go away, please." Fluttershy says, barely audible.
  167. >"Aww, come on baby, don't just shoot me down!"
  168. >"I'm here with my date..." she says, shrinking down into her seat.
  169. >"What, human? Come on, ditch that monkey! What have you got to lose?"
  170. "You're about to lose something." You say, cracking your knuckles, gaining you even more disgusted stares.
  171. >The stallion whips around to face you, but finds he only comes up to your waist.
  172. >The size difference is enough to deter him, and he walks away without another word.
  173. >You take your seat in front of Fluttershy and oh god the smell is even stronger than before.
  174. "You ok?" you manage to ask without choking.
  175. >She nods, slightly, but doesn't look at you.
  176. >You reach over the table, and take one of her front hooves in your hand.
  177. >You stroke the soft, downy fur with your thumb.
  178. >Fight through the pain, fight through the pain!
  179. >"Anon..."
  180. >She smiles tenderly.
  181. >You retch.
  182.  
  183. ----
  184.  
  185. >Her face goes blank for a moment, until tears well up in her eyes.
  186. >She pulls her hoof away, and runs away crying.
  187. >The entire restaurant looks like they're trying to glare you to death as you struggle to stand from the undersized table and run after her.
  188. >She hasn't gotten far by the time you run out onto the street.
  189. "Fluttershy!"
  190. >She doesn't stop.
  191. >Sprinting after her, you slowly gain on her.
  192. >She never could run that fast.
  193. "Fluttershy, please!"
  194. >"Just leave me alo-o-o-one!" she wails through her tears.
  195. "Please, Fluttershy! Just talk to me!" you shout at her, tears beginning to build up in your own eyes.
  196. >Thankfully, she listens, and her run slows down to a trot, before stopping.
  197. >You close the gap to her, but keep your distance, lest she runs again.
  198. >You take a moment to catch your breath.
  199. "Fluttershy, what's wrong? Why won't you talk to me?"
  200. >"B-b-because you-" her words jumble together as she cries.
  201. "What? Because I what?"
  202. >"BECAUSE YOU HATE ME!"
  203. >You're taken aback as she shouts, but not nearly as much as her accusation.
  204. "What!? Fluttershy, I don't hate you! I could never hate you!"
  205. >"Then why are you acting so weird!?"
  206.  
  207. ----
  208.  
  209. >Shit.
  210. >She must have thought you were acting like that because you didn't want to be with her.
  211. "It's not because I hate you."
  212. >"Then why?" she says, choking on her words.
  213. "Alright, fine. I was hoping to ignore the elephant in the room, I'll tell you."
  214. >You sigh, as she stares at you expectantly, her crying finally slowing down.
  215. "Fluttershy, you stink. Really bad."
  216. >"What?" she says blankly, clearly not expecting that answer.
  217. "You smell like a public restroom that hasn't been cleaned in a year. I didn't mention it to you because I didn't want to seem rude."
  218. >"Oh..."
  219. "Seriously, Fluttershy, how could you possibly smell this bad?"
  220. >"I- but- well- I don't..."
  221. >She stammers, confused.
  222. >"Wait!"
  223. >She pulls open her shoulder bag, and pulls out a bottle.
  224. >"I used this mare pheromone, but it says it's guaranteed to drive stallions wild..."
  225. >You can't help but chuckle.
  226. "Fluttershy, I'm not a stallion. It wouldn't work on me anyway."
  227. >She lets the bottle fall to the ground, and sits down on her haunches, defeated.
  228. >It looks like she could burst into tears again at any moment.
  229. >"But..." she finally speaks up.
  230. >"You don't hate me?"
  231. "Of course not. I love you, Fluttershy."
  232. >A smile appears on her face, growing larger and larger, before she runs at you.
  233. >You kneel down and open your arms, taking her into a tight embrace.
  234. >"I love you too, Anon." she says, tears of joy streaming down her face.
  235. >She's still soft, she's still warm, and she still smells like rancid piss.
  236. >It finally gets to you and you vomit all over her.
  237.  
  238. THE END