Title:           Intermission: RAPESQUAD in Tartarus
Author:          Unamazing_Writefag
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/i8CRgKDg
First Edit:      Sunday 27th of May 2012 11:01:36 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Sunday 27th of May 2012 11:01:36 PM CDT

>You are Anonymous, stuck in Tartarus and clueless as to how you'll escape.
>You're currently somewhere in the middle of the obsidian desert.
>Trudging through the jet black dunes, you hear the telltale sounds of battle, monstrous roars and fierce war cries echoing through the desert.
>Could this be another Anon?
>You reach the peak of a dune, and feat your eyes upon a battle the likes of which is the fiercest you have ever witnessed.
>The first was a massive black-armored sand kraken, a writhing mass of bladed tentacles and hate. The eerily glowing yellow eyes are full of untold rage, all pointed towards its opponent.
>The other combatant... well...
>"THE RAPEHOG BRAKES FOR NO BEAST, MOTHERFUCKER!"
>Nimbly weaving in between slashing tentacles, the green warthog and its' three-spartan crew taunt the massive beast.
>The green armored soldier on the turret trains it upon the beast, carefully lining it up...
>"BOOMSHAKALAKA!"
>A salvo of six rocket burst forth, each slamming into the beast with a thunderous report.
>Unfortunately for them, this only seems to annoy it. The Spartan in the passenger seat notices, leaping out with a plasma grenade in hand.
>"OH SHIT TEST WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
>The Spartan says nothing in response, merely activating the grenade...
>And then flipping into a one-armed handstand.
>Dafuq
>He then begins to spin, quickly gaining speed until looking to be little more than a green,purple, and blue blur.
>"TH-THAT TECHNIQUE!"
>Without warning, the spartan throws the grenade, which sails through the air, a blue streak...
>Straight into the monster's maw.
>It explodes with a sapphire flash, and the Spartans cheer, exiting the vehicle and clapping their comrade on the back.
>They then rush to the fallen behemoth, and...
>Begin stabbing it with metallic dragon dildos.
>"SO MUCH RAAAAPE"
>What the fuck, Tartarus?