Intermission: RAPESQUAD in Tartarus

>You are Anonymous, stuck in Tartarus and clueless as to how you'll escape.

>You're currently somewhere in the middle of the obsidian desert.

>Trudging through the jet black dunes, you hear the telltale sounds of battle, monstrous roars and fierce war cries echoing through the desert.

>Could this be another Anon?

>You reach the peak of a dune, and feat your eyes upon a battle the likes of which is the fiercest you have ever witnessed.

>The first was a massive black-armored sand kraken, a writhing mass of bladed tentacles and hate. The eerily glowing yellow eyes are full of untold rage, all pointed towards its opponent.

>The other combatant... well...

>"THE RAPEHOG BRAKES FOR NO BEAST, MOTHERFUCKER!"

>Nimbly weaving in between slashing tentacles, the green warthog and its' three-spartan crew taunt the massive beast.

>The green armored soldier on the turret trains it upon the beast, carefully lining it up...

>"BOOMSHAKALAKA!"

>A salvo of six rocket burst forth, each slamming into the beast with a thunderous report.

>Unfortunately for them, this only seems to annoy it. The Spartan in the passenger seat notices, leaping out with a plasma grenade in hand.

>"OH SHIT TEST WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

>The Spartan says nothing in response, merely activating the grenade...

>And then flipping into a one-armed handstand.

>Dafuq

>He then begins to spin, quickly gaining speed until looking to be little more than a green,purple, and blue blur.

>"TH-THAT TECHNIQUE!"

>Without warning, the spartan throws the grenade, which sails through the air, a blue streak...

>Straight into the monster's maw.

>It explodes with a sapphire flash, and the Spartans cheer, exiting the vehicle and clapping their comrade on the back.

>They then rush to the fallen behemoth, and...

>Begin stabbing it with metallic dragon dildos.

>"SO MUCH RAAAAPE"

>What the fuck, Tartarus?