Title:           Anon does Michael Jackson
Author:          Unamazing_Writefag
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/5vijSWCr
First Edit:      Friday 27th of April 2012 01:15:30 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Friday 27th of April 2012 01:15:30 AM CDT

>be Day LXVI in Equestria
>walking around in Ponyville
>Bored out of your skull
>Suddenly, a wild Rarity appears!
>she begins pointing a frantic hoof at you.
>"It was YOU, wasn't it?"
wut
>"You were the one who... who... VIOLATED ME!"
>oh shit, was this crowd always here?
>"What a brute!"
>"How DARE he?"
>"The horror! THE HORROR!"
>Explainthisbullshit.png
Look, I don't have any attraction to ponies. Even if I did, I wouldn't RAPE them. That's just sick.
>"I would believe you under any other circumstances, Anon, but tell me: Who else in Ponyville walks on two legs?"
>...
"Uh... Lyra?"
>"Hey, I only SIT like you do, asshole!"
>...
I'd say 'Spike', but I don't even want to think of that as a possibility. Still, it wasn't me.
>"Well, whoever it was, they certainly walked with /your/ gait." she says.
>you sigh
Well, if talking won't convince you...
>you produce a fedora from parts unknown as a familiar pop tune fades into the background noise
>You strike a pose, and begin
>Your voice goes an octave or two higher than normal as you belt out the lines with practiced ease
She looks more like a beauty queen from a movie scene,
And I said, I don't mind, but what do you mean that I am the one
Who raped you, in yo house, foolin' around
>the ponies are enraptured
Her name's Rarity'n she's caused a scene
and has all the pones thinkin' I am the one
Who raped you, in yo house, foolin' around
>you begin executing sharp, clean, dance moves that'd make the king proud
People always told me
be careful what you do
and don't go breakin' young girl's hearts
>Rarity's confused
And mama always told me
Be careful who you love
Be careful what you do
unless a lie becomes the truth!
>go time
>you begin sliding back on your toes, tilting your fedora
Rarity
is not my lover
She's just a pone
who claims that IIII am the one~
But the cooolt is not my son!
>you spin, and land en pointe
>by now the ponies are too enthralled to notice the assumption on your part
>Once more, with feeling!
Rarity
Is not my lover
She's just a pone
Who claims that
IIII am the one~
But the cooolt is not my son!
Oooh,
Rarity
Is not my lover
She's just a pone
Who claims that
IIII am the one~
But the cooolt is not my son!
>You finish with another spin as the music fades.
>The ponies are all applauding you, even Rarity.
>"I see you know how to respond to an accusation of rape after all, Anon. Good work."
...
You weren't--
>"Oh HEAVENS no." she says, with an elegant swish of the tail. "I keep my home VERY secure."
>Goddammit.png
 
Fucking Rarity.