Title:           Roos invade skype
Author:          Tvox
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/HpDmJ5bA
First Edit:      Thursday 12th of April 2012 12:12:33 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Thursday 12th of April 2012 12:12:33 PM CDT

[9:27:09 AM] Anon Alighieri: suddenly 50 kangaroos bust in
        >THIS IS THE KANGAROO MILITARY!
        >WE CLAIM THIS CHAT IN THE NAME OF ROOMANIA!
[9:27:23 AM] Anon Alighieri: >There were no survivors
 
[9:27:39 AM] Tvox: >a lone survivor rises from the rubble
 
[9:28:07 AM] Tvox: >mechanical parts whirr and blink though charred flesh
[9:28:36 AM] Tvox: >"Unit reset, Designation TVOX 5000
[9:33:17 AM] Tvox: >"running diagnostics
                        >frame integrity 97%
                        >exterior sheilding integrity 36%
                        >battery level 79%
                        >ammo reserves 9mm- 0   .308 - 80"
 
                        >"start targeting systems diagnostics
                        >Targeting system at 100%"
 
                        >"Run velocity check on jimmies"
                        >"Speed Incalculable"
                        >Play catchphraise.wav
                        THIS MACHINE KILLS ROOS
[9:34:41 AM] Anon Alighieri: >Kangaroo's unleash their ultimate weapon
                        >The Kangaroo army's combatans suddenly seperate into 7 microos each
                        >SWARM AND CONVERGE
                        >SWARM AND CONVERGE!!!
[9:36:23 AM] Tvox: >Tvox loads his rifle with its signature extended glock clipz
                >loaded with babby killin' heat seeking cop killa boolits
 
                IM HERE TO KILL ROOS AND GET SWAG, AND I DONT SEE ANY SWAG
[9:37:01 AM] Anon Alighieri: >Microos continue to swarm, getting into every nook and crany      of Tvox's killingroo-armor thingy
[9:39:59 AM] Tvox: >"Internal integrity compromised
        >Discharge Jimmy coolant"
        >Jimmy coolant is released, vaporizing everything within 20 meters
        >"primary battery discharged
        >backup activated, power at 60%"
[9:40:37 AM] Anon Alighieri: >Intial barrage of Microo's killed
[9:40:44 AM] Anon Alighieri: >Send in moar microos
[9:43:29 AM] Tvox: >"release bio foam sealant"
        >"Warning, jimmy velocity increasing"
 
        >A pale orange foam seeps out of the inner workings of Tvox, filling the majority of    ruptures on the exterior sheilding
[9:44:08 AM] Tvox: >Tvox cycles the chamber of his rifle and begins taking shots at the larger                  roos
[9:44:35 AM] Anon Alighieri: >MORE ROOS
[9:44:39 AM] Anon Alighieri: >THROW MORE ROOS AT HIM
[9:46:14 AM] Tvox: >Scanning.....
        >Scanning.....
        >"Roo battleship detected"
        >"Loading surface coordinates"
        >Tvox extends his right arm, pointing at the roo flagship, a small purple lazer pointer         tagging the bridge of the ship
 
[9:47:06 AM] Anon Alighieri: >Roos know they have been targetd
        >ABANDON ROOSHIP
        >Pilot sets collision coruse of the ship straight to Tvox      
[9:50:52 AM] Tvox: >from behind the rooship another ship rips through slipspace, It's the       USNC Gettysburg!
        "We have your target unit 5k"
        >the UNSC ship levels its Magnetic Accelerator Cannon at the roo flagship
        "Firing!"
        >plasma trails at the end of the 800 Ton depleted uranium shell as it travels towards   the rooship at nearly one fifth the speed of light
[9:55:49 AM] Tvox: >the rooship is tearing through Skype's atmosphere, coming apart as it       rushes towards Tvox
        >"Jimmie levels critical"
        >"OVERLOAD OVERLOAD"
        >in a wicked twist of fate the rooship, uranium shell, and tvox's jimmies collide all at        once
        >warpspace is twisted, and Tvox pulled through the rift
[9:58:49 AM] Tvox: >you wake up in a grassy field
        >the sun shines brightly into your eyes
        Fuck! my eyes!
        >wait, shit! your eyes?!?
        >you spin in shock as the last of your MJOLNIR Mk. 7 armor crumbles away
        >blinking away the pain you search the landscape
        the fuck is that?
        >a cottage sits at the very edge of the field
        Might as well see where I ended up....
 
        FIN
[9:59:22 AM] Tvox: thus begins the story of Anon the spartan in equestria