Title:           Gyrojet
Author:          Tvox
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/wjvurmVT
First Edit:      Wednesday 12th of December 2012 12:25:58 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Wednesday 12th of December 2012 12:25:58 AM CDT

>Day shitpost in equestria
>For the past few weeks of your brief stay in equestria you have been the largest nuisance possible
>Splashing in puddles next to ponies, knocking over cabbage stands, shouting "GAYYYYY" as you walk into various shops
>The ponies are tired of your shit
>They go to Twilight and ask for help getting rid of you
>With her considerable knowledge of magic and mechanical engineering she creates the only device that could stop you.
>Pic related
>You awake in the morning to find one of the dreams of your youth fulfilled
>Your very own Gyrojet pistol!
>giggling like a schoolgirl you run outside
>moving at the speed of an anemic neckbeard, you make your way to the only sporting good store in ponyville, big 5!
>you enter the store and walk up to the counter
>you ask for .51 Gyrojet
>spaghetti slowly drips from your pockets
>you feel a sense of dread
>your face gets red
"Please give me a case of .51 gyrojet right now.
>"I don't know what that is. Is it a new Gryphon weapon or something?"
>you struggle to contain your embarrassment
>clenching your asscheeks together, you desperately try to hold in your shit
>meanwhile spaghetti is flowing out of your pockets
>you voice is reduced to a mumble
"have money please .51 gyrojet give money please ammo"
>"Are you ok?"
>shit breaches through your asscheeks
>propelled forward at 60mph
>you crash through the big 5 employee's counter
>he's holding on to you for dear life
>all the while spaghetti is flowing out of your pockets like fumes
>crash through an entire row of buildings in ponyville, broken glass shards and splinters in your face
>yelling [spoiler][/spoiler] ".51 GYROJET PLEASE MONEY .51 GYROJET BIG 5 .51 GYROJET"
>the Big 5 employee is covered in shit and spaghetti
>your pocket rocket shows no signs of stopping
>he tilts you backwards
>the sheer force of my your has reached 650mph, you and the cashier are now propelling upwards
>the spaghetti and shit intertwines and falls down to earth in glorious yellow and brown streams as you head towards the stratosphere
>children below frolic in the mess falling from your anus
>the g-force is causing your asscheeks to flap vigorously and create a gale
>spaghetti and shit are blowing through the air on the planet below
>3 miles upwards now
>theBig 5 employee has died from lack of oxygen, his body falls to the surface below and is shredded by the force of your shit
>your transformation is almost complete
>as you leave the atmosphere your bear hands sprout and my tail grows, acting as a rudder
>you steer yourself across the cosmos with your gleaming shit and spaghetti trail