AiE Chapter 1 - What the hell is going on!

Okay, deep breaths, c'mon you can do this. Whelp, here goes...

 

>Well this sucks

>Nice catch brain! Nah I thought everything was fine and dandy up until you said that, but now I think I see where you're coming from!

>You know, sarcasm is very unbecoming.

>Yeah well stop stating the bleedin' obvious then.

>He was right though, this did pretty much suck more than a dyson vacuum cleaner.

>Life had ground to a standstill, nothing seemed to fulfill you anymore. Day after day, night after night, you would just sit at your computer, reading image boards.

"Well this sucks"

>To add to this wonderful existence you've created for yourself, you still live with your dad, and guess what? He's a raging alcoholic! You know, just for fun!

>Yeah no, but in all seriousness he can be pretty aggressive...

>Sure, you had friends, but they weren't what you'd call chums for life. You had trouble remembering their names sometimes.

>You'd think all this would at least make you mentally sound, right? You guessed it! Of course not!

>Hey! Earth to Anon! Stop hating yo'self and get back to the mildly funny image boards. Look! Theres a cat making a silly face!

>Oh yeah, and your brain behaves like a 5 year old sometimes. Well, most of the time. Well, all the time.

>You just wish that, somehow, somewhere, you could find just a small slice of happiness and escape from this greyscale universe of infinite boredom and unfulfillment.

 

 

1/10

 

 

 

>Hey, maybe such a place does exist. Yeah, I'll just have to find it. Oh no wait, you're an emotional trainwreck, can barely get out of bed in the morning and are afraid of pretty much everything! Hoo-flippin-ray.

>To add to these newfound feelings of hope, you hear your dad stumble through the front door from a day of drinking with "the lads", whoever the fuck they were.

>Even on weekends this guy did nothing else. You even thought sometimes that you'd probably end up doing the same, given the chance.

>Okay, time to bail.

>Back door or window this time?

>Lets go with window brain, you know, just to be safe.

>You want to be safe, climbing out of a window? Hmm. Second floor window. Safe. Hmm. Somethings wrong there mate.

>Just shut up and do as I say brain, will you! You wanna get beaten to a pulp again?

>Fine.

>Escaping from rampaging alcoholics was probably the only thing you were good at.

>After descending the drainage pipe you headed off with great gusto towards the park, with the muffled sounds of angrydad mcfunpants far behind you.

>Going to the park by yourself was one of your very few luxuries in life. Sure there were a few dog walkers here and there, who you avoided making contact with as best you could, but it was a nice place.

>Taking a seat under your favourite oak tree, you gaze off at the distant sunset. Sure, life was dull as could be here, but you could at least appreciate the beauty of nature.

>Feeling a little bit better, you turn your thoughts inward.

>So brain, what do we do now?

>Uhm, give up?

>Thanks brain.

 

 

2/10

 

 

 

>The sunlight glistened off of the the fields in the distance, creating quite an amazing sight as you began to get comfortable.

>Heading back home while dad was still fucking crazy did not seem like the best idea, so, you decided to take a little nap. Heck, it's only 7 'o' clock, ish.

>You know, sleeping in a public park isn't exactly saf-

>Brain, it's sleepin' time. Less thinkin', more relaxin'.

>Fine but if we get stabbed, I'ma go ahead and blame you.

>Whatever man.

>Letting off a large yawn, you look around for members of the public that might judge you. Good, none in sight. Jimmies are nicely unrustled. Sunlight warm on your skin. Excellent.

>Time to get some-

>The next series of events was rather, unexpected.

>All sound seemed to just, stop. As if you had suddenly gone deaf. Nothing.

>Of course, being the pansy that you are, you begin to panic.

"What the fuck is this!"

>Even your own voice was muffled.

>Looking around for the source of the, well, whatever this was, you notice that everything was blurring out of shape, like the ground was, melting?. Oh crap! I stand on that thing!

>Like an obscure picasso painting, your world was falling apart. The ground melting away beneath you, silently, until darkness took it's place. Your heart was racing, you were absolutly terrified.

"A-am I dying?!"

 

 

3/10

 

 

>In the midst of the blackness, the sun still remained. This would have puzzled you if you weren't freaking the fuck out, but it was strange none the less.

>After a few minutes of almost dying purely from fear, you regain a little composure, and finally notice the looming ball of fire that is the sun.

>As if in response to you noticing it, it begins to shine brighter. Too bright even! You look away before you blind yourself but you can feel it still getting stronger.

>Even through your closed eye lids you can see nothing but bright white light. You feel it invading your mind, your brain simply shutting itself down causing you to fall onto your back on the, ground? Whatever, you no longer cared.

>If this is what dying feels like, it's not so bad.

 

 

4/10

 

 

 

>Tough luck kiddo, looks like I'm booting back up.

>Oh for goodness sake brain. Just trying to find eternal peace here, but noooo, now we have to do stupid people stuff again! Ugh.

>Just open yer eyes ya jackass. You ain't dead son.

>Fine.

>Cracking your eyelids open, sound, light, touch and all your other senses begin to return to you, bit by bit. Smell was first to the punch, bringing you an odd scent of, burning wood? Oh shit! Fire!

>Like opening the flood gates, the rest of your senses catch up to your nose and you jolt up out of a, bed? really? Looking around for the fire, you see just a small wood burning fireplace. Phew, thank fuck. Thought the whole park was on fire.

>Wait, there're no fireplaces in the park, nor are there any plush and comfortable beds. Da heck is this shish. From your seated position on the bed, you observe your surroundings.

>Seems like a very fancy hotel room. You know, like one at a manor house in scotland maybe. There was a window but it was stained glass, so no peeking outside for you.

>Whilst admiring the classiness of the bedroom, you hear what sounds like, footsteps maybe, outside the one door in your room. Wait, people don't make that noise. It sounds more like, a horse?

>They let horses into the manor house? Well that can't be safe, surely.

>Suddenly, the door swung open, and the following sight was, well, quite something.

>Brain, I think we need to upgrade the jimmies.

 

 

5/10

 

 

 

>Why can't I hold all of this rustle.

>Standing right before you was a rather exquisite and regal looking, well, horse I guess. Except it's mane was, floating? The shit?

>It just stared at you for a while, cocking it's head every now and then, as if it were observing your reactions.

"Umm, I don't suppose you know where I am do you?"

>Nice going genius! Yeah lets talk to a horse! That'll work...

>Not like you give me any good ideas brain.

>You barely notice the horse step forward as you argue with brain over who sucks at ideas more.

>"You are in Canterlot Castle, one of our many guest rooms to be specific".

"Okay, thank you"

>You continue to keep battling with your brain until realisation hits you like a fucking freight train.

"What the hell! Did you just talk!?"

 

 

6/10

 

 

 

>Must be your imagination, surely.

>"Indeed I did my transdimensional friend" Said a serene sounding voice.

"B-but you're a horse! You can't talk!"

>"Hmm, maybe I'm just a figment of your imagination" The creature said with a slight chuckle. Pretty sure it, is in fact a she.

>Okay, so, crazy space and time warp thingy majigy, hotel room in, a castle? And a fucking talking girl, horse, thing. WHELP.

>"My name if Princess Celestia, what is yours?" She asked inquisitively."

>Now you see, your dad was not only a raging alcoholic but also a raging hypocrite! Double the fun right? Wrong.

>He constantly beat good manners into you whilst around other people until it was instinctive. And I mean every single type of good manners you can think of.

>Funny that he never followed them himself. Well not really, but you get the idea.

>At the mention of the word "princess", you can't help but stand up and atempt to show respect. But of course, you're the great anon! You can't be successful!

>Thanks to your indecisiveness, you end up doing what looks like a half kneel and a half bow. You look like a total jackass.

>Heh, nice goin'!

>Not now brain!

 

 

7/10

 

 

 

>The white colored horse elicited a small giggle at your pathetic atempt at being polite.

>"Oh there's no need to be so formal, but I would rather like to know your name."

>Of course you idiot, answer the, thing's, question.

"Uhh, my name is, uh, Anonymous, your majesty. Anon for short, if you would like."

>After rising from your, whatever the hell that was, the white creature is smiling at you.

>"I'm sure you have many questions as to why you are here, no?"

"Ah, yeah, just a few, heh."

>"Well, let me try and explain for you."

>The next 20 minutes or so was either really mindblowing or so fucking crazy that your head hurt. Maybe it was both.

>Apparently, she is not a horse, she is a pony, with horse actually being an insult (Good job asshole), and along with her, sister, you think she said, she rules the land of Equestria.

>Equestria being a land full of these pony creatures, all of different colors and whatnot. You begin to think you might be tripping out.

 

 

8/10

 

 

 

>And get this. You were summoned here as an experiment in transdimensional teleportation. That explained the crazy melting thingy. She also said you are to be studied as a species.

>You told her that most of humanity sucked, which she found amusing, after which she said you should stop being so modest. Yay, small confidence boost! +3 confidence stat.

>"Are you hungry or thirsty at all Anon?" said the princess through a smile.

"Umm, no I'm fine, thank you."

>You were a bit thirsty but you didn't want to cause any trouble.

>You pansy.

>I said not now brain!

"So, if you don't mind me asking, why did you choose me?"

>"You seemed like a nice person" she said, still with that smile.

"Oh I'm not that great, I can't tell you that much about humanity either, but thanks."

>"Oh I don't know Anon, I'm quite good at finding the best when I need to" she chuckled.

 

 

9/10

 

 

 

>It takes quite some coaxing, but Celestia finally gets you to spill the beans on your personal life.

>She seemed rather saddened by the events, especially the death of your mother when you were 8. But you told her it was behind you now, onwards and upwards right?

>"It seems you have quite a lot of potential Anon. I'm glad the spell chose you and not someone like your father."

"Are we talking about this Anon, or is there some other, smarter, braver and better looking anon sitting behind me?"

>Celestia gives a little giggle at this. Somehow your confidence had leveled up! You can now perform basic jokes! Maybe it's because she isn't a person, who knows.

>"Anyway, we should begin preparations into finding you a home to stay in."

"Wait what? Umm, I don't know if I can talk to other pony people yet..."

>"Hehe, it's just ponies Anon, and I'm sure you'll be fine". There's that smile again. It seems to be making you feel a bit better.

"Alright then, if you say so."

>"Thunderhoof, could you come in please?" Celestia said to the now closed door.

>Another pony creature opened the door and walked into the room, this one shorter than the princess but far more bulky. Must be a soldier, you thought.

>"Yes your majesty?" Thunderhoof said in a polite manner.

>"Could you send for Twilight please? I think it's about time she and Anon were introduced."

>With that, the second creature you had ever seen in this world left the room and headed down what looked like a very large stone corridor.

>I wonder who this Twilight is. Probably just another servant or advisor or something.

 

 

10/10

 

Phew, well that was interesting.