Pt 1-Welcome to Equestria, now put on some pants

>Day I'm sleeping here buttass

>wake up

>be comfortable as hell

>my pillow's never been softer

>my sheet's never been cozier

>don't even get outta bed

>today is gonna be a good day

>whatever day that is

"Mmmh what day is it?"

>"Saturday."

>good that's my day off...

>wait...

>who was it that answered you?

>"I take it you're awake."

>oh god there it is again

>someone's in your house

>a home invader

>what if it's a bed intruder?

>did I hide my kids/wife?

>wait I don't have either of those

>stay calm, don't move, keep your eyes shut, maybe they'll think you're still asleep and leave.

>"I can tell you're awake."

>no I'm not...

>"you're clenching your eyes shut."

>in deep asleep here...

>"Okay now you're shaking, please stop I'm not going to hurt you."

"Yes you will."

>"I really won't, I swear."

>why did I say that out loud?

>"Well I'll be here when you "wake up"

>okay gotta plan

>when I look at her I'll jus- wait

>its a chick?

>"Anytime now."

>yep

>she sounds hot

>this might not be so bad

>okay  gotta plan, Just get up and look straight at her.

>no surprise

>no fear

>no fucks given

>nothing more attractive than a man with a fuck shortage

>okay operation no surprise/fear/fucks in 3... 2... 1... LOOK UP

 

 

 

 

>you were gonna give her a causal hey/howdy/sup

>that didn't happen though

>when you got a look at her...

>you were in all honesty a little surprised

>a tad scared

>and might have dropped a fuck or two

>can anyone blame you?

>probably

>but fuck'em

>"Ah you're finally awake."

>oh yeah horse lady

"he-how-up."

>that came out wrong

>no shit assbutt

>"Are you aright?"

>okay focus lets get a look at her...

>a slender white horse wearing a gold Tiara and necklace embedded with purple gems, also she had gold shoes, the tiara appears have a white spike sticking out of it, and to top it of a freaky ass rainbow hair/tail combo

>all this was standing about three feet to the side of your bed

>she's kinda skinny for horse, does she eat hay?

"Do you eat hay?"

>"Of course,"

>oh god why did I ask that?

"I mean hey whats up"

>nice save

>"You're probably wondering where you are."

>where I am?

"OH SHIT, THIS AIN'T MY HOUSE."

 

 

 

 

>you just realized...

>this ain't your house

>its waaay to nice

>like a royal sweet in a hotel

>its practically a castle

>big ass comfy bed, a nice sized balcony, even a fireplace with a book shelf next to it.

>god when was the time you read a book?

>what was it called?

>'Green Hats and Fish?'

>no no, it was 'Are you My Ham'

>maybe it was 'Oh the Cats you will do'

>fuck if I know

>"... Canterlot"

>oh shit she was talking

"Umm... what did you say?"

>"As I said You a regretfully not in your house, but in fact the royal palace of Equestria, located in its capitol Canterlot."

>you have no idea where that is

>should have paid attention in geography

>you're probably in Europe

>fucking Europe

"As you can most likely tell, you are no longer in your world."

>scratch that you're on an alien planet

>you're off the hook Europe

>...this time

"So you're... an alien?"

>"Well actually you're the alien."

"oh yeah..."

"Take me to your leader, I guess."

 

 

 

 

>holy shit that was the most unfunny joke ever.

>"Right here."

>oh shit son she's a leader

>what kind though?

>she's got a crown

>so she's a queen

>wait is she a "she"?

>what if they don't have genders?

>what if they have 3 genders?

>what would you call the third gender?

>bowie

>yep boy, girl, and bowie

>wait... what if they have like 14 genders?

>what would you call the other genders?

>bowieone through bowietwelve

>actually I'll stick to 'she' for now

>"I understand you're rather confused, but if you just listen I can explain."

>you do need to stop being in your head so much

>often you can't help but get lost in thought

>you remember one time in 5th grade you... oh right

>listen

"Alight."

>"Excellent if you follow me I can elaborate."

>she then turned around and began to walk to a big double door but stopped for a moment looking behind herself at you

>"Come along, please." she said before continuing her walk

"Right."

>you said finally stepping out of the comfy ass bed

>huh...

>you're naked

 

 

 

 

"WAAAHH"

>you said throwing your self over the bed on to the floor opposite the horse lady

>quickly she turned around and looked at you worriedly

>"Whats Wrong?" she asked as you got in a crouching position

"I'M NAKED."

>suddenly she looked confused

>"So?"

"I can't just walk around naked."

>she raised an eyebrow in curiosity

>then she turned her body so you could see her side

>"I don't quite see the error in that."

>well shit she's naked, well except for her jewellery

>she also has wings and some weird sun tattoo

>...wait

>wings?

>shes a pegasus

>yeah you remember that

>you've seen Aladdin

"You're a pegasus."

>"Not quite, I'm surprised you know that word, are there pegasia where you're from?"

"Not really, they're just a myth."

>she took on a look of surprise "Interesting, but about your nudity issue?"

"Well you see I feel rather indecent walking around naked."

>suddenly her features took on a look of concern

>"Who taught you that?"

"Well no one, that's just the norm back home."

>"I see, so its a matter of culture."

"Pretty much, yeah."

>"one moment then please." she said before trotting over to the doors which open enough for her head to fit.

>you could vaguely hear her speaking to someone outside the door, before she pulled her head back in with what appeared to be a shirt and pair of pants floating in a gold aura.

"Neat trick."

>"Hardly a trick." she said the clothing levitating over to you.

 

 

 

 

>tentatively you took both articles of clothing

"Wait a tick, these are mine and they look good as new."

>"You see we found them with you, they were in pretty poor condition so I had them repaired."

"Well I've had them for a fair number of years, but they weren't that bad."

>"You consider Numerous tears and scorch marks 'not bad'?"

"Well they weren't in such shape when I last wore them."

>"Then I guess it must have happened while you were in captivity."

"I guess-wait CAPTIVITY?"

>"Don't worry you're safe now."

"But then you mean I WAS in danger?"

>what happened?

>you don't remember being held captive

>"What is last thing you remember?"

"Umm... I'd just gotten off work, it was Wednesday, rode the bus home, then... um... I don't know."

>"I see, her notes stated you had a good deal of trajectory. Tell me how quick was this 'bus' moving?"

"I'd say thirty or forty Miles per hour."

>"That is what she guessed in her notes."

"Umm who's this 'she'."

>"A former student of mine. She went rogue some years ago when I refused to teach her a forbidden spell."

"Wait... spells... as in... magic?"

>"Yes, how do you think I gave you your clothes?" she said pointing to the white spike on her tiara with her impressively flexible front leg.

>wait that not part of the tiara...

>oh shit she's a unicorn

"You're a unicorn."

>lightly chuckling she said "Not quite."

>before you could respond she continued "but we can discuss this once you get dressed, and we get some food, I don't know about you but I'm rather peckish."

>It just occurred to you that you had been crouching behind the bed to avoid exposing your junk, for several minutes

>standing was gonna be a bitch

"Sounds good to me."

 

 

 

 

>after quickly dressing you both made your way to a room even more luxurious than the previous.

>it was apparently Celestia's private dinning room

>Celestia being her name

>and she was in fact a "her"

>you were embarrassed to ask

>when your food arrived you were surprised to see a steak

>a damn good steak you might add

>Thankfully you managed to hold your spaghetti throughout the meal

>After exchanging names, you gave her time to explain what is going on

>Basically about thirty years ago her then apprentice wanted to study Xeno-dimensional lifeforms

>which means aliens from other universes, like you

>the problem with that?

>inter dimensional magic is forbidden and VERY illegal

>the two main reason being the risk of bringing a dangerous monster

>and the possibility tearing a peaceful life form from its home

"If I could be brought here using magic, couldn't I be sent back using magic."

>"Ideally yes, but we need the coordinates of the dimensional plane she took you from, otherwise we'd have no idea where to start."

"What if you can't find them?"

>She glanced to the side for a moment before looking at you with a sad look

>"If we can't find your home..." before she could continue a pony in spartan armor came into the room and looked at her

>you recalled her description of her guard

>it was rather odd that all the other ponies where like half her size

>"pardon me for a moment." she said walking towards the guard and turning her head so the guard could whisper in her ear.

>".......jesty th........no sign.........Shiner..........uldn't..............dinates." he finished

>Celestia responded "What about...............did y..........ilight look........"

>the guard answered "....ouble che.......ss Sparkle......tri.......cked."

>After the guard finished speaking Celestia slowly closed her eyes, breathed in slow then exhaled through her nostrils

>"I see... You are dismissed to your regular duties." the guard saluted then left.

 

 

 

 

"So... Good news?"

>She took her seat again "I'm... afraid not. We found you in a secret lab my former apprentice, Star Shiner worked and lived out of for months as far as we can tell, you where unconscious from injuries you sustained in the jump between worlds. Star Shiner was not present when my guard raided it, she has not returned since."

>she had avoided eye contact throughout that entire explanation, but now she looked you right in eye with a oddly sad look.

>"She had left some of her notes behind on various things including the mechanics of inter-dimensional travel and even a few notes on you, but..."

"No coordinates to my home."

>"I'm sorry."

"Do you think she has them with her?"

>"Hopefully."

"What happens now?"

>"Now? Now I need to prepare a task force to capture her, but you will stay here in the mean time,hopefully Star Shiner has what we need to get you home."

"Are you sure? I'd hate to be a burden."

>"You'd... hate to be... a burden?"

"Well yeah."

>"YOU'D..."

>"HATE..."

"Well..."

>"TO BE..."

>"A BURDEN..."

>oh shit

>"YOU WHO DID NOTHING WRONG, YOU WERE ONLY MINDING YOUR OWN BUSINESS, LIVING YOUR OWN LIFE, WHEN SUDDENLY YOU WERE TORN FROM THAT, YOUR FAMILY GONE, YOUR FRIENDS GONE, YOUR EDUCATION USELESS, YOUR WORLDLY POSSESSIONS AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS WORTHLESS, NOT BY YOUR OWN ACTION, BUT BY MY INACTION. AND YOUR THE ONE... who does not want to be a burden..." She said finally deflating

>the way she said that...

>it wasn't really anger...

>it certainly wasn't hate...

>it was like... a mother scorning her child.

>but the thing is...

>she's not your mom

>she doesn't have the right to talk to you like that...

"WAIT ONE MINUTE..."

>her eyes widen at your statement

"I MAY NOT BE A GENIUS AND I MAY BE AWKWARD AS FUCK, BUT IF THERE IS ONE THING I'M NOT, ITS A CHILD, AND I WILL NOT BE TALKED TO LIKE ONE, I MAY BE COMPLETELY ALONE, I MAY HAVE ZERO TO MY NAME, BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN I DID NOT ACCOMPLISH ALL THOSE THINGS..."

>now it was your turn to deflate

>you both sat in silence

>neither able to make eye contact

>"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry."

>you both chuckled at your timing

>"I'm just frustrated, certainly not at you."

"I know the feeling."

>"But I would really like you to stay here until we can figure this out."

"Of course, I just feel kinda..."

>"Frustrated."

"Yeah."

>you said with a quick snort

>"Well then if you'd excuse me, I need to arrange a few things. My most faithful student should be here any minute and I've

 

asked her to show you about and fill you in on anything I may have missed."

"Right I'll be here."

>"Don't worry I'd like to talk again, but I have matters to attend to, so goodbye for now Anon."

"Goodbye then your majesty."

>Please call me Celestia. I... think you've earned that.

"Yes of course... Celestia."

>Celestia left the room as you stayed in your seat

>"She really does have a hot voice."

 

 

 

 

>you're Princess Celestia

>and you dun goofed

>you had gotten lazy

>if you had found Star Shiner sooner none of this would happened

>you let your affection for her blind you to her ambition

>and now Anon might never see his home again

>because you couldn't control your apprentice

>Twilight, bless her heart was exhausting herself trying to help someone she hadn't even met yet

>why was that?

>because she wanted to help Anon?

>because she wants to impress you?

>because she feels guilt by association due to holding the position Star Shiner once held?

>it doesn't matter

>she doesn't need an excuse to do the right thing

>as much as she needs your approval she also needs to make her own choices

>otherwise she might end repeating the "want it need it" incident

>even though that was your fault

>you knew her nature, yet never clarified that the friendship report was "as needed"

>no

>this is not the time for introspection

>you get lost in thought far to often

>in fact you recall one time in the 5th century...

>no time for that

>right now

>you've got work to do

>you're gonna make this right