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AiE - FOR MOTHER RUSSIA!!! - Part 2

By: TheRealViolinPlayer on Dec 3rd, 2013  |  syntax: None  |  size: 2.03 KB  |  hits: 31  |  expires: Never
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  1. >Day 1 aboard the T-50 Vodka
  2. >The ship is unique
  3. >It's shaped like a bottle of vodka
  4. >It is armored with empty bottles of vodka that have been wielded to the hull
  5. >Ship is STRONK
  6. >STRONK like Russia
  7. >Russia BIG
  8. >Russia world power
  9. >Russia STRONK
  10. >Russia can into space
  11. >Unlike Poland
  12. >Stupid Poland
  13. >The reason that the T-50 Vodka has such an advantage over American spaceships is because of a new top-secret propulsion system developed by Russian scientists
  14. >It is powered by nothing other than...
  15. >[collective gasp from the crowd!]
  16. >...a stream of vodka!
  17. >You are sitting at the captain's chair on the bridge
  18. >It is the only chair on the ship, and the "bridge" is the only room
  19. >You gaze out at the stars that are flying past the cockpit window
  20. >Or rather, you're flying past them
  21. >Propelled by a stream of vodka
  22. >A few hours later, you have cleared the Milky Way galaxy
  23. >Victory for Russia
  24. >You are about to crack open a bottle of vodka to celebrate, when suddenly, your ship is rocked by a large impact
  25. "What of in the name Putin?!"
  26. >Another impact
  27. >You look out of the cockpit window
  28. >You almost wish that you hadn't
  29. >Outside, the ship is being pounded by a barrage of asteroids
  30. >Not just any asteroids
  31. >No, these ones are special
  32. >They are colored
  33. >Half white on top
  34. >Half red on the bottom
  35. >This could mean only one thing...
  36. "This cannot be of truths!"
  37. >Polish asteroids
  38. >Stupid Poland
  39. >The T-50 Vodka is quickly losing hull integrity, and most of the glass vodka-bottle plating has been entirely smashed away
  40. "Stupid Poland!"
  41. >Poland cannot into space
  42. >But Polish asteroids sure can
  43. >It is then, that you look down
  44. >Below you is a planet
  45. >You can see oceans and green forests
  46. >It appears to be habitable
  47. >You're not going to last much longer against these stupid Polish asteroids up here
  48. >Stupid Poland
  49. >You change course
  50. >The ship is curving downwards, headed straight for the planet
  51. >A bigger impact than any previous asteroid produced sends you sprawling to the floor
  52. >You hit your head on the deck and black out
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