Title:           Inferno
Author:          ThePoketrix
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/qw7ffBZ8
First Edit:      Tuesday 30th of July 2013 12:07:57 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Tuesday 30th of July 2013 12:07:57 PM CDT

>It has been Inferno days since your arrival in Equestria
>You are Anonymous, the only human in Equestria. But then again, you already know that- and either way, you prefer "Anon".
>You wake up and lie in your bed, staring up at the ceiling.
>Suddenly, you feel...holy. Saintlike.
>No... the best way to describe it is...
>Like a priest, dedicated to a powerful goddess.
>Suddenly the alarm clock goes off-
>nay, the Holy Awakener sounds his tiny gongs. You reach up and press a button on his chest to let him know that he may stop, for the High Priest of the Temple has awoken.
>Rising from your bed- nay, your altar of sleep, you stride to the holy chamber of El Bano to perform one of the most sacred rituals of the temple...
>The Triple-S.
>Having done the holy deed, you dress yourself in your black suit- nay, your black robes, for a priest wears robes- and admire yourself in the mirror. But before you can compliment yourself, you move on- a priest has no time for self-compliments.
>You stride down the stairs to the kitchen- nay, the Hall of Dining, where you reach for the holiest, most sacred of foods, a box of Knock-Offs cereal.
>The holy object is now in your grasp, and you pour some of its contents into a bowl.
>You then moisten the sacred cereal with Holy Milk (like holy water but it's milk)
>Then, you retrieve a sacred tool and use it to lift a mouthful into your mouth.
>Nirvana is now in your mouth.
>Suddenly, a "polite" 'rattatatat' peals around the room.
>Fetishy has completely destroyed your priestly mood, and now you're just Anon, in a suit, eating some Knock-Offs. At least it's your favorite cereal.
"Like fucking clockwork."
>You get up and walk to the door, yanking it open to reveal the Banana Rapist.
>She has a gun held up to her head.
>Flutters:"Is suicide your fetish, Anon?"
>She may be a nuisance, but for some reason she's grown on you just a little bit.
>Just enough to make you react.
>You slap her in the face. In her shock, she drops the gun, which you grab.
>You then turn to address her.
"NO! FUCK NO! AND DON'T EVER DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT AGAIN!"
>You then slam the door in her face before you can see her reaction.
'Why did I do that?'
'Maybe... do I like Flutters?'
'NO! FUCK NO!'
'Not... not like that... no... but...'
'... maybe... as a friend?'
'... This is all so confusing...'
>You decide to forget it and just go to work.
>You peek out the front window.
>Fluttershy's still there.
>You can see that she's dealing with mixed emotions too.
>Welp, escape hatch time.
>A few weeks after the Rapistshy problem started, it got so bad that she kept you from going to work.
>So you had an escape tunnel built.
>It leads straight from you house to work.
>You push aside the couch to expose the entrance, jump in and walk down the tunnel.
>You're employed at The Candy Shoppe, a confectionery run by an earth pony named Bon-Bon.
>You basically are to Bon-Bon and The Candy Shoppe what Pinkie Pie is to the Cakes and Sugarcube Corner Bakery.
>As such, said party pony with tons of friends is your rival, as Sugarcube Corner is The Candy Shoppe's biggest competitor.
>Fudge and candy or cupcakes and muffins? You'd pick the fudge and candy like a sensible human, but half the town would pick the baked goods instead. It's infuriating- and that mutual feeling that you share with Bon-Bon is why you got hired.
>You reach the end of the tunnel and find yourself below a trapdoor. You open it and enter The Candy Shoppe's back room
>Or at least what used to be its back room.
>Your jaw drops as you find that the shop has been burned to the ground!
>In the middle of the destruction lies Bon-Bon, crying her heart out.
>Her best friend and fellow candyholic Lyra sits beside her, trying to comfort her.
>Lyra looks up and sees you.
"What... what happened?"
>Lyra:"Last night... the shop caught on fire... it had already burned down to the ground by the time the fireponies got there..."
>Bon-Bon:"My beutiful shop, my life's work, everything, it's all gone!!!
"But... how?!"
>Lyra:"I dunno..."
>Bon-Bon:"IT'S ALL GONE!!!"
>Lyra continues to try to comfort Bon-Bon.
>You look around and find something in the rubble that wasn't touched.
>A letter?
>You open it and read the one sentence on it.
>"Is arson your fetish, Anon?"
>Fucking Fluttershy