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Hogtied

By: ThePoketrix on Jul 30th, 2013  |  syntax: None  |  size: 4.23 KB  |  hits: 30  |  expires: Never
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  1. >It has been Hogtied days since your arrival in Equestria, since everyp0ny knows that Inferno plus one is Hogtied.
  2. >Your name is Anonymous, and you are the only human in a magical land known as Equestria.
  3. >Then again, you already know that.
  4. >And either way, you prefer to be referred to as "Anon".
  5. >You wake up yet again to the sound of your alarm clock.
  6. >This morning, you don't feel like a priest.
  7. >While laying in bed, you think about yesterday.
  8. >Fluttershy somehow paid for the damage in full once she realized that arson wasn't your fetish.
  9. >As such, The Candy Shoppe was being rebuilt- and you needed to help rebuild it.
  10. >Welp, time to start your day.
  11. >You rise from your bed and enter el Baño to shit, shower, and shave.
  12. >For your next trick, you first check for any Fluttershies peering in through the windows of your bedroom, then shed your sleepwear and don a spiffy-looking suit.
  13. >Afterwards, you admire your handsome, cleanly-shaven, blank-faced, besuited self in the mirror.
  14. >Swag.PNG
  15. >Now for breakfas-
  16. >Oh, wait.
  17. >You brush your teeth. Turns out that working in a confectionary can give you a whole lot of cavities, and the local dentist, Dr. Colgate, has (angrily) told you to brush not two, not three, but FOUR times a day.
  18. >No more orange juice for you. Not that you care- you hate orange juice anyway.
  19. >NOW for breakfast.
  20. >You stride down the stairs to the ground floor of your two-story house and enter the kitchen.
  21. >According to your knowledge, only one food exists that will be able to start YOUR day- a bowl of Knock-Offs brand cereal, swimming in milk.
  22. >You prepare the bowl of cereal...
  23. >...and actually finish it for once, without any interruptions.
  24. >This surprises you.
  25. >...
  26. >Nah, it's probably just that today's morning fetish guess is somehow keeping her from knocking.
  27. >You decide to keep her waiting, and polish your shoes for an hour. You're not needed at the construction site for quite a while.
  28. >Then, you jerk open the door, ready to say "no" to whatever crazy guess she had this time-
  29. >She's not there!?
  30. >She's finally given up on guessing your fetish?!
  31. "HALLELUYAH!!!"
  32. >You victory-dance all the way to the construction site, where you see Lyra, Bonbon, and the Apple family, taking a break from rebuilding.
  33. >They stare, goggle-eyed, at your thrashing around.
  34. >"Uhh... What's the matter, Anon?" asks Lyra.
  35. >You stop the victory dance with a flourish and a big smile on your otherwise-blank face.
  36. "Guess who stopped trying to guess my fetish?!"
  37. >Everypony at the site cheers.
  38. >Suddenly, Surprise- a white pegasus with a curly blonde mane and tail that happened to be Pinkie Pie's OTHER rival (they were both party ponies), as well as your best friend, pops out of a crate (almost giving you a heart attack) and throws a party right in the middle of the construction site.
  39. >Life is good.
  40. >...
  41. >Don't see her at ALL for the rest of the day.
  42. >In fact, you ask around, and nop0ny has.
  43. >This is now scaring you.
  44. >Usually, even when not guessing fetishes, Banana Rapist is usually your personal stalker pony, so not seeing her at all is... worrying.
  45. >What if she got killed by one of her animals?
  46. >What if she committed suicide out of guilt for burning down The Sweet Shoppe?!
  47. >WHAT IF SHE HAD ONE OF HER ANIMALS KILL HER AND FRAME YOU FOR IT?!?!
  48. >Okay, you've talked yourself into checking it out.
  49. >You bring along Surprise, just in case the Yellow Pony tries to hit you with a sleep-inducing dart and kidnap you- as she's attempted many times before.
  50. >As a professional surprise artist, Surprise literally can't be surprised by anything.
  51. >Well, except for Fetishy leaving you alone- that surprised everypony.
  52. >You and Surprise walk/fly to Fluttershy's cottage on the outskirts of the Everfree forest.
  53. >The lights are on.
  54. >Slowly, carefully, with Surprise gaurding your six, you open the door...
  55. >... to reveal Banana Rapist, hogtied and positioned in such a way as to point her ass at the door.
  56. "What the-"
  57. >"Oh, uh,... hello, Anon, uh..." she mumbles.
  58. "Why the fuck are you tied up?!"
  59. >This gets Surprise's attention, and she turns around.
  60. >"What the buck?" she says.
  61. >"Uh... is either bondage of mystery your fetish?"
  62. "Fuck no."
  63. >You slam the door, and you and Surprise go to your respective homes and go to bed.
  64. >Fucking Fluttershy
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