Title: YOLO Author: TheGoodDoctor Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/ituChjjH First Edit: Thursday 26th of December 2013 09:25:01 PM CDT Last Edit: Thursday 26th of December 2013 09:25:01 PM CDT >Day Equestrian Idol in where else but Equestria >You are Anonymous, and its the day of auditions. >You were just talking about random shit with Twilight regarding entertainment back home, and the show just kinda came up. >They had talent shows here, but the idea of having a large one to draw in a large number of scouts and managers into one place escaped them. >And in almost no time word got out about it as would be stars began packing up and heading for the small town of Ponyville. >Ponies from all over have come to show how good they are. >And just like back home, most of them are probably shit. >But its not about them being good, its about how much you can laugh at those poor bastards making fools of themselves. >Unfortunately, Twilight thought it would be a good idea that you should be a part of it. >And Celestia agreed. >You tried talking your way out of it, but they weren't having it. >They wanted to see what human songs were like, and they thought that it might help you get more connected with the ponies if you participated. >So here you are, waiting backstage for your turn at making an ass out of yourself. >Judging by the number of ponies coming back  crying their eyes out, there must be at least one dick judge out there. >That's just wonderful. >A roar of applause comes from the front as Sweet Cream comes strutting backstage with the smuggest of grins, clearly proud of herself. >If the crowd is anything to go by, she has reason to be. >"Anonymous, you're up!" >Welp, time to pay the piper. >You figure that if you're going down, you might as well have fun with it. >Walking onto the stage, the sight of more ponies than you thought could possibly fit in the small town look at you, with the three judges front and center. >Mayor Mare, Sapphire Shores, and Blueblood, with the three princesses off to the side in a VIP box. >From what you heard about Blueblood, he's probably the asshole. >Blueblood looks right at you, a jovial expression on his face. >"Okay Anon, just relax and give us your best. I'm sure we're all anxious to hear what humans have to offer." >Well , that was pretty nice, maybe he wasn't as bad a guy as you heard. >Maybe it was Sapphire. As a professional she probably didn't care for listening to the screeching of dying animals. >"Yeah, just have fun with it and ignore the neighsayers." >Or maybe not. Maybe there was no bad judge? Ponies did tend to blow things out of proportion, and you've talked with Mayor Mare before and she's pretty nice. >"At the least he can't be as bad as some of the previous contestants. I swear, I've heard timberwolf mating calls that sounded better than that. Anon, I'd like to keep my eardrums intact, so if you plan to foul up the stage, please pick something short." >She looks at you with a bored and somewhat disinterested expression. >You think you know someone. Oh well, might as well go for it, what do you have to lose? >Besides your dignity that is. "Ok, well, here I go." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5Otla5157c >When you finish, the crowd just looks at you, eyes wide and mouths agape. >Not a sound is made by anyone. >At least for a moment, then the dams break. >Ponies scream in abject terror as they all start running and scattering. >The ones who live in town rushing for their homes and begin boarding up their doors and windows. >Ponies dart away from Derpy as though she has the plague, and by the way she's acting, you think she's trying to avoid herself, too. >It starts getting dark as the sun begins to lower, which is odd since its the middle of the day. >A glance over to the princess section shows Celestia being yelled at by her peers to bring the sun down. >Blankets, sweaters, and all matter of cloth is being thrown from homes. >A look over to Quills and Sofas, you see someone setting the whole damn building on fire as a ring of ponies chant "BURN THE MURDERERS!" >The madness continues for the night as ponies pretty much empty out their homes, and those from other places hoof it home, too scared to take the train. "What...the...fuck..." >You slowly walk through the lifeless, littered streets. >Surely you weren't THAT bad? >Were you? >Maybe a talk with Twilight would help make sense of things. >After all, she's a reasonable pony. >A few minutes of stepping over furniture and going the long way around the burning store, you reach the treebrary. >It looks to be boarded up as well, and quite neatly and efficiently to boot. >Guess whatever caused everyone to panic got her too. >Nice to know she still stays organized even in a presumed crisis. "Twilight! Open the door! What the hell just happened out there?!" >You scream and bang on the door trying to get the unicorn's attention. >"Go away Anon, I'm not ready to die!" >Die? What could she be talkin- >The song. >You thought you had seen crazy with the ponies before, but this was another level. >They actually took your song serious? >Fucking crazy ponies. "Twilight! It's just a song for laughs, you don't need to worry so much. I mean come on, think about for a minute!" >You can't hear anything on the other side of the thick door. Good, maybe she'll realize how retarded this whole thing was. >And before another thought goes through your mind, the scenery changes as you find yourself on your ass inside Twilight's house. >Fucking magic. >"You're right Anon! After thinking about it, I was being ridiculous." "Thank you! Now we can go out and tell ever-" >She cuts you off. >"I was wrong about leaving you out there. You're the one who brought all these dangers to our attention! If anyone can increase survival, its you! >So much for being the smart one. >"Anon, I'll do whatever it takes! Teach me your ways!" >That's enough of this insanity, you're gonna sit her down and- >Wait, anything? >"Anything." She looks at your fiercely, determination and resolve strong in her voice and eyes. >Maybe you can let this play out a little longer. "You're right Twi, let's go up to the bedroom for the first lesson." >"Why? There's nothing up there." >She must've thrown away her bed. Or magic'd it away or something. >You shrug as you continue leading her up the steps. "Still counts." >Today was a "I Just Had Sex" kind of day.