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[FR] Day Viva Las Pegasus

By: That_Happy_Guy on Oct 8th, 2013 | syntax: None | size: 47.01 KB | hits: 91 | expires: Never

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>Day Stress will kill you in Equestria.
>Fuck Celestia, seriously.
>How can she expect you to get all this work done in less than a week?!
>Looking at the stack of papers, you groan as you realize you've been working nonstop for nearing three days and have yet to make a dent in it.
>Running your hand down your face, you can feel the shagginess of the beard you are growing.
>You need a shave and shower soooo badly.
>Your head starts to throb, probably due to your lack of sleep and continued hours of work.
>Taking a whiff, the room is starting to fill with the stench of your old clothes again.
>You would open the windows and let some sunlight in, but your eyes have adjusted to the dark so well you're afraid you might cause more harm than good if you do.
>Grabbing your stomach, you let off a groan as you realize you haven't had a decent meal in days.
>Your eyes feel like they are about to pop any moment, but you don't have the luxury to give into any of these obvious signs to relent.
>An opportunity like this rolls around once, maybe twice if you are lucky.
>You don't get to bitch about it, no matter how badly you want to.
>With a heavy sigh, you take a deep breath and force your body back upright.
>Welp, better get back to work.
>...
>Wait, where are the annual income reference sheets?
>They were right here!
>Fuck, you can't get anything done without those papers!
>You start to frantically look through the stacks of papers, trying to find those damn sheets.
>Panicking, you start to hyperventilate.
“Shit... shit... shit, shit shit shit shitshitshitSHITSHITSHITSHIT!”
>Your heart starts to beat faster, like it's going to burst out of your chest.
>Sweat runs down your brow, falling to the papers below.
>A mixture of exhaustion and stress has you fall to your knees.
>[OVERLOAD! OVERLOAD!]
>The world goes gray as your eyes start shaking.
>[EMERGENCY SHUTDOWN ACTIVATED!]
>*Kthunk*
>Day It's a long story in Equestria
>Groaning, you wake up and yawn.
>The sharpest of pains runs through various parts of your body.
“GAH, FUCK!”
>You grip your face, chest, and close your legs.
>It feels like you've been hit by a 2 x 4 into an oncoming truck that was about to head off of a cliff into a ravine filled with pissed off menstruating porcupines.
>There is a violent stinging sensation running all through out your head.
>Your back and waist feel like some one was trying to compress them into miniature cubes.
>There is also a painful soreness coming from your crotch.
>Whimpering, you hear a yawn and a pair of lips smacking.
>”A-Anon? Yer awake!”
>Pulling your hand down, you see Applejack.
>She is covered in sperm while wearing a wedding dress and diamond horse shoe.
“Gahha! A-Applejack, what the hell happened to me?”
>More yawns fill the room.
>Looking around, you see almost a dozen mares you know all laying around this large room that's covered in heart decorations.
>Pinkie squeals and rushes towards you.
>She jumps and hugs you, clinging to your body.
>”Yay! Nonny's awake!”
>Looking at her hoof, she is not wearing a diamond horseshoe like AJ was, nor is she covered in jizz.
“What the hell happened?!”
>Twilight pulls Pinkie off, chuckling nervously.
>”I-It's kind of a funny story, true story. You see, it all started when-”
>Rainbow Dash groans and interrupts the purple mare.
>”We're in Las Pegasus; you've been a human fuck toy for almost a whole day, and had your body tossed around like a beach ball for half."
>You've been a WHAT?!
>"Oh, and you're a millionaire now... and married to five mares."
>...
>You take a moment to let this all sink in.
>Inhale a deep breath and...
“WHAT?!”
>Twilight yelps, ears falling flat.
>”I-It's Rainbow's fault! She was the one who kidnapped you!”
>The rainbow pegasus looks shocked, glaring at her friend.
>”Nuh uh! It's Pinkie's fault! If she hadn't ditched him, I wouldn't have had the chance to grab him!”
>Pinkie jumps on your back, somehow getting your body to move as she wants.
>”Hey! It's not my fault that the restaurant Twilight sent me to just happened to be the one Colt Cakes was shooting at! They had a twenty five foot cake! TWENTY FIVE FOOT!”
>As the mares continue to argue, you groan and pull the pink mare off your back.
“WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!?”
>Your yell silences them all.
>Twilight sighs and steps forward.
>”Well, like I said, it all started when-”
-------------------
Twilight's view.
-------------------
>Humming, you continue to trot down the road to Anon's house on this lovely bright morning.
>Checking one last time, you can see that the book he lent you is still safely in your saddlebag.
>This was a great read!
>Earth books were always so different from your own world's.
>You are lucky to have a best friend generous enough to let you borrow one whenever you ask.
>As you approach his house, you see your other friends all heading there as well.
>They seem to have the same confused expression you do.
>Stopping just a few feet from Anon's front door, you look around to your five concerned friends.
>Applejack rubs the back of her head, letting out a nervous chuckle.
>”Uh, howdy y'all. So, ah take it ah'm not the only one on their way ta see Anon?”
“Nope, I'm here to return a book he lent me a couple days ago. You?”
>The orange mare, looks away, laughing a bit more.
>”Who, me? A-Ah'm just checkin' in on him. Haven't seen him in a couple days 'n ah got worried. What about tha rest of y'all?”
>Rarity pulls out a lunch box and some soaps.
>”Our mutual friend asked me to check in on him every couple of days to make sure he was not working himself too hard. I figured he might be getting a bit peckish if the work load he was assigned was truly as monstrous as he let on.”
>Pinkie hops on top of Rarity, eying the lunch box.
>”Well I was just gonna see if Nonny wanted to play. The last time we played was before Celestia gave him that super long named job.”
>Licking her lips, the sneaky mare tries to lift the lunchbox.
>Rarity pulls it back while giving Pinkie an unamused stare.
>Looking to Dash, her eyes are darting from left to right.
>This is going to be good...
“Well, what about you Rainbow?”
>The cyan pegasus chuckles, giving a cheeky grin.
>”Me? Oh, no real reason. Just checking to see if he wanted to hang out, that's all.”
>Sighing, you move on to Fluttershy.
>You all know she has a major crush on Anon and has been TRYING to seduce him.
>The last thing Anon needs right now is Fluttershy distracting him.
“And you, Fluttershy?”
>She lets out a small whimper before kicking some dirt around.
>”I-I was just going to see if he wanted some company... t-that's all.”
>Before you can call her out on her obvious attempt to take Anon's time pitching woo, a loud crash comes from inside his house.
>Applejack is the first to react, rushing inside.
>”Oh mah gosh! A-Anon!”
>The rest of you follow after her.
>Looking for your friend, you see his lifeless corpse laying against his desk.
>His eyes are wide open, mouth agape.
>The rest of his body is bent over the desk as his legs hang freely.
>Pinkie screams at the sight.
>Rarity faints, only to be caught by Rainbow.
>Fluttershy is crying as Applejack tries to calm her down.
>You walk towards your friend, at a loss for words.
>Tearing up, you place your hoof on his back.
>... It's still warm.
>You quickly bring your hoof to his neck.
>His heart is beating!
>Listening, you can hear him taking shallow breaths.
“He's alive! HE'S ALIVE!”
>Rarity awakens at your announcement.
>”He is?! Marvelous!”
>The rest of the group is more than a little relieved to know your mutual friend is still amongst the living.
>”Well, if he ain't gone, why's he look like that? Ah've never seen a livin' thing bend that way.”
>Looking around, you see he is splayed over a stack of papers so large that it would make even yourself cringe.
>One paper grabs your eye; a royal letter.
>You look it over and see that Celestia wanted him to balance the finances and spendings of the royal family as well as help with projections for the next decade.
>... Is your teacher insane, or does she seriously think any being would be able to pull this off?
“I'm not a professional, but I think he went into a stress induced coma.”
>Applejack walks over and places a hoof on his back.
>”Aw, the poor fella must be plum exhausted. Should we take him ta a hospital?”
>Looking at Anon, you wonder if a hospital would even be able to do anything to help him right now.
>As you muse to yourself, Rainbow Dash starts to giggle with glee.
>”I know what he needs. A vacation! Let's go to Las Pegasus!”
>Rolling your eyes, you turn around to the floating mare.
“How would taking a human in a coma to a cesspool like Las Pegasus help?”
>She flies next to him, grabbing his head.
>”Look at the guy, he's stressed out. What is the best place to get rid of stress? Las Pegasus! I'm sure all he needs is a weekend of fun, gambling, and freedom to fix himself!”
>Rarity groans, placing her hoof on her face.
>”Anon is in a coma, darling. He isn't even aware of what is going on, much less able to enjoy anything that would happen to him.”
>The cyan pegasus blows a raspberry, waving her hoof up and down.
>”Come on, even if he's zonked out, he'll still be able to relax by getting away from this junk.”
>You look to Applejack who looks back at you.
>She jerks her head to Dash, silently asking if she is serious.
>You sigh and nod, unable to believe it either.
>As you two watch Dash continue to prattle on about how great a weekend away would be, Pinkie starts to giggle and bound around Anon's house.
>”Let's go to Las Pegasus!”
>Everyone save for Dash and Fluttershy is staring at Pinkie in shock.
“Pinkie, please tell me you aren't serious...”
>”Of course I am! There's a special filming of Colt Cakes going on this weekend. I could watch it being filmed! Live! As it's happening! Eeheeheehee.”
>Dash nods, excited she has someone on her side.
>”Right! See? It doesn't just have to be about getting Anon better! We could all go and do some awesome things. Think about it, it's the entertainment capital of the world!”
>Before you can respond, Rarity seems to be mumbling to herself.
>”There is that fashion show taking place this weekend...”
>You can't believe somepony as level headed as Rarity is even thinking of going along with this silly plan.
>Fluttershy floats next to Anon, taking his hand in her hooves.
>”U-Um... I think it's a great idea. We could take Anon out, l-let him relax... m-maybe take him out on the town alone?”
>Applejack's body stiffens, she jumps over and pulls Fluttershy's hooves off his body.
>”Now hold on there! If y'all 're really goin' through with this, ah ain't lettin' ya give Fluttershy a chance ta take Anon alone around a city that has so little morals!”
>Dash takes a spot next to AJ, placing a hoof on her shoulder.
>”Then I guess somepony should come along and keep him safe, shouldn't they?”
>The orange mare nods, 100% serious.
>Shaking your head, you stomp your hoof.
“I can't believe you are all seriously thinking of taking a COMA patient on a vacation! Are you all insane?!”
>All five of your friends look to each other.
>Each of them save for Dash and Shy are losing their resolve.
>With a smirk, you place Anon's body in a position that doesn't look painful.
>”Hmph, I can't believe you are being such a stick in the mud Twilight.”
>Sighing, you look to the cyan pegasus.
“What?”
>She looks away, apathetic.
>”Makes sense though. That is sooo like you. No wonder you and Anon aren't such great friends.”
>Shocked, you look to her and start to stutter.
“W-What do you mean? We're best friends!”
>She scoffs, looking around the room.
>”How long would you guys say Anon spends with you each week?”
>Applejack looks up and hums to herself.
>”Ah'd say... maybe a couple hours a day? Ah usually see him around town.”
>Pinkie giggles and pulls out a flier for the 'Colt Cakes' show she was talking about.
>”I see Nonny all the time. We used to play together everyday until he got this job. Maybe now we can do it again since it put him in a coma!”
>You can't believe this.
>Rarity rubs her chin, looking with intent to the floorboards.
>”I see him every now and again around the shop, but we mostly meet here and have tea or coffee. A simple little activity, but we do spend quite a bit of time together.”
>Even Rarity?
>”I-I try to spend as much time as possible with Anon. Oh, maybe a full thirty or so hours a week?”
>Your eyes go wide.
>Fluttershy spent a lot of time trying to be with Anon, but you didn't think it was THAT much!
>Dash is smirking, looking to you.
>”Well Twilight? How long do you spend with Anon?”
>Stepping back, you can feel your ears droop.
>You two were always so busy, but it's not the quantity of time you spend together, it's the quality!
>... Right?
“J-Just a few minutes each day? Full hour if we're lucky.”
>”And YOU are his best friend? Heck, even I see him more than that.”
>How can Anon find time to spend with everypony else but not you?
>... Is it really because you are a stick in the mud?
>Does he like hanging out with everypony else more?
>...
>Fine!
>You'll show them.
>Twilight Sparkle is no stick in the mud!
“All right! You all want to go to Las Pegasus so bad? Let's go!”
>Dash hoof pumps as Pinkie and Fluttershy cheer.
>Rarity smiles then goes on a small rant on what she will be taking with her.
>Applejack looks to Anon, concerned.
>”How're we gonna get a comafied alien across tha border?”
>Dash slaps some shades on Anon's eyes and pulls his jaw up.
>”Huh? Bet you can't even tell he is half dead.”
>You pull your lips to the side, looking at Dash with a stare of disbelief.
“And how are we going to get him to move?”
>Everypony is staring at you.
“...”
>”...”
“What?”
>”Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!”
>Pinkie is continuously sticking her head in and out of the stretch carriage's sun roof.
>Trying to hold your concentration, you make Anon look as alive as you can.
>Dash is chuckling, head laying back across her hooves.
>”What'd I tell you? No problem.”
>You can't believe how easy it was to trick the carriage rental place.
>They actually thought Anon was as wooden as he is now!
>With a smirk, Dash joins Pinkie in sticking her head out of the sun roof.
>”Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!”
>Applejack and Rarity look to each other, smiling as they sit up from their seats.
>Aaand now you have four mares sticking their heads out like foals.
>Sighing, you look to Anon.
>...
>”O-Oh, hi Twilight.”
>Fluttershy is messing with Anon's pants fly.
>”U-Um, I was just fixing his pants.”
“Sure you were Fluttershy.”
>Sweating a bit, she sits up and joins the rest of your friends.
>”W-Whoo?”
>You take a deep breath before making sure Anon's clothes are as tight as they normally are.
>Applejack sticks a hoof towards you and flashes you a big smile.
>”Heh, cmon girl! We're in Las Pegasus!”
>You look to her hoof, then to her.
>... Ah, fuck it.
>You stand up and join them.
>In unison you each keep dipping in and out of the sun roof.
>”Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!”
>Dash chuckles and brings Anon up with.
>From the streets, this must look pretty silly.
>Six full grown mares and their alien friend acting like foals.
>As you all continue to dip in and out, Anon's stiff body stays out, hands placed on the roof.
>”Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!”
>Giggling, you almost don't hear Pinkie yell.
>”Tree!”
>You all squeal and duck back down.
>Crap!
>Anon is st-
>*SHMACK!*
>Anon's body is smacked by the tree, pulling him out of the carriage.
“Oh fuck!”
>Dash starts to pound on the walls, signalling the driver to stop.
>All of you save for Dash hurry out of the carriage.
>Anon is laying face down in the middle of the road.
>Oh fuck oh fuck oooooh fuck!
>Rushing to his side, you lift him up and carry him back to the carriage.
>Sitting him down, the carriage speeds off.
“Oh sweet Celestia! Look at his face!”
>You pull your hooves to your eyes, looking away.
>His shades are broken, face full of splinters, and nose looks split.
>This is all your fault!
>How could you let Rainbow talk you into this?!
>You should have known better!
>Now look at whats happened to Anon!
>When he wakes up, he is going to ki-
>”There, all better!”
>Huh?
>Rarity's horn is glowing, healing Anon's face and removing the splinters.
>His shades are also repaired.
>Oh thank Celestia!
>Dash chuckles, wiping some sweat from her brow.
>”See? Nothing serious. W-We should probably avoid the sun roof for now though.”
>Glaring at her, you place Anon between yourself and Applejack.
>He isn't going anywhere until you all reach the hotel.
>Fluttershy tries to touch his crotch again.
>You smack her hoof away with magic.
>Dragging Anon towards the bed, you let go of him and head back out to help the others with their baggage.
>Rarity sure brought a lot for a two day trip.
>As you help her magic in a few boxes, she struggles to give you a smile.
>”T-Thank you darling.”
“Nnnph, d-don't mention it.”
>Working together, you two manage to get her entire load in one trip.
>Letting off a soft sigh of relief, you turn to see Anon's body being abused by two certain pegasi.
>Fluttershy is undressing him as Dash writes on his face with permanent marker.
>Applejack notices your glare and looks to the two mares.
>”Quit it ya two! He ain't a play thing ya know!”
>They yelp and stop messing with him.
>Taking a deep breath, you sit next to Anon.
>Rainbow drew a dick on his face... classy.
>You magic off the marker and lay down.
>Dash looks over your head, looking down in disappointment.
>”What are you doing?”
“Relaxing, like we came here to do.”
>She groans and pulls you up.
>”You don't come to Las Pegasus to sleep all day. You come here to see the sights, to have fun, go see shows! Like Rarity and Pinkie a-... where's Pinkie?”
>Looking around, you don't see the pink mare anywhere.
>Did you all lose her?!
>As you are about to call the LPPD, your missing friend steps into the room.
>She is wearing a 'Colt Cakes' shirt, cap, and is holding a ticket in her hoof.
>”Hey guys, what'd I miss?”
“Pinkie, where'd you go?”
>She flashes the ticket.
>”To go get my ticket for the show. Duh!”
>Rolling your eyes, you look to Dash.
“Look, we haven't even been here an hour and Anon's already been seriously hurt! He isn't leaving this hotel room, not safe!”
>The cyan pegasus groans, bringing her hooves to her face.
>”That was a fluke! An accident! He'll be fine out there, I swear.”
>You cross your hooves, dead serious.
>She sighs and rubs her temples.
>”Fine, we'll stay in the hotel. They have a casino underneath us anyways. Lets just go there.”
>You uncross your hooves and look to Anon.
>He'll be fine so long as you all stay within the building, right?
>Applejack steps to your side, placing her hoof on your shoulder.
>”C'mon girl. A lil gamblin' won't hurt him or you. We'll spend a couple hours in the casino, head out fer lunch, 'n relax the rest of our time here. Sound good?”
>Why can't the rest of your friends get you like AJ does?
“Sounds good. All right, come on Anon, lets go gamble.”
>You lift the human with your magic, making sure he is in good shape before having him walk outside of the hotel room.
>As you all enter the elevator, you look through Anon's pockets real quick.
>He only has about fifty bits on him at the moment.
>This'll be quick.
>”Whoooooo! Yeah! Look at that human rake it in! How does he do that?!”
>Chuckling, you have Anon wave to the crowd gathered around you.
>Somehow, Rainbow was able to turn Anon's fifty bits into nearly a thousand!
>She dragged you over to the poker tables and made sure you paid attention to what she did as she played.
>With her help, now you know when to hold them and when to fold them.
>After she taught you how to play, everyone just sort of went their own way.
>Now you and Anon are taking names!
>This is your table, YOURS!
>You buy in again and watch the dealer pass out each player's hand.
>Perfect!
>Pair of 6's right off the bat.
>One cocky stallion raises to the point of near going all in.
>Sucker doesn't know whats about to happen.
>You have Anon go all in.
>All the ponies save for the cocky one fold.
>Lets see... another 6, a 3, queen, and another 3.
>HOLY- Full house!
>Why couldn't the others have gone all in as well?
>You could have cleared a couple seats with the first hand!
>Man, you have the gambling bug bad, but you don't care!
>You love Las Pegasus!
“Anon? Dammit all.”
>You leave Anon alone for two minutes to go cash his chips and now you can't find him.
>How can a comatose human get lost?
>You let out a soft groan as you continue to look around.
>Gasping, you see Pinkie on the slots.
“Pinkie!”
>She turns to you and waves, lap full of bits.
>”Hi Twilight! Want a spin?”
>You rush to the mare, shaking your head.
“No, busy. Have you seen Anon?”
>She furrows her brow, confused.
>”Wait, you mean you weren't there when the strippers took him to that back room?”
>WHAT?!
“Who took him WHERE?!”
>She points to a room near the far end of the building.
>”Strippers, they took him to that back room.”
“When?!”
>”About five minutes ago.”
>You look to the ground and try to figure out what's going on.
“Why?”
>Pinkie shrugs, gathering her bits before leading you to the room she was talking about.
>As you get closer, loud funk starts to play.
>”Mmph... Mmph... Yes, like that honey.”
>What?
>You open the door and see a scantily clad mare riding Anon's donk with her hooves wrapped around his neck.
>Two more are running their tongues over his testicles.
“What the hell are you doing?!”
>They scream and cover themselves.
>”Get out of here!”
>Pinkie jumps in and throws them off, yelping as she drags Anon out of the room.
>”Ew ew ew ew ew! Nonny was getting date raped!”
>You zip his fly and magic him the fuck away from there.
“I know! Gah!”
>Just as the three of you are about to head back to the hotel room, you are stopped by two gruff looking stallions.
>They look like Snowflake, but without wings.
>They step aside and a sly looking stallion with greased back hair steps between them.
>”Excuse me, may we have a word with you?”
>Looking to Pinkie, she shrugs.
“Sure?”
>”Good, you see, we run security here at the fine Home Stable casino and resort.”
>Oh good, they can help you deal with Anon getting raped by those three mares.
>”We've noticed that you have been using magic nonstop since you got here and have been following this -guest- around.”
>Uh oh, did somepony figure out Anon's not really conscious?!
>”Curious that. Why, and I mean why would a guest need a unicorn chaperone to follow him around everywhere, especially to the casino floor?”
>No, wait, they just think you are cheating.
>...
>They think you are cheating?!
“W-Wait, what are you implying here?”
>”What I'm saying is that we have yet to see this... thing move without your magic around it or one of our fine -waitresses- leading it around. Bimmy, Jammy, please escort our friend here to the back office.”
>He jerks his head and the two gruff stallions surround you.
>Whimpering, you step back and stop using your magic.
>Closing your eyes, you prepare for the worst.
>”Wait just a minute here!”
>Anon?!
>You open your eyes and see Anon putting his hand in front of you, blocking the two security guards.
>The stallion raises an eyebrow, looking to you.
>”Hmm, so I guess you ARE a living being. If that's the case, why was this mare following you this entire time?”
>Anon stands straight, crossing his arms.
>”I'll have you know that I have a condition. See this leg?”
>He raises his left leg.
>”It's partially crippled and I need an aid to help me move it without risking permanent damage.”
>How long has he been up?
>The stallion nods, glaring a bit.
>”Mhmm, pardon me if I find that hard to believe.”
>Anon growls, throwing his arms into the air.
>”Oh this is nice! Hey! Everyone! This place discriminates against the disabled!”
>Dozens of heads turn to your group, all mumbling and looking at the three stallions.
>The sly one starts to stutter.
>”Th-That is not true! We hold no discrimination against any pony of any type of bodily ability.”
>”Oh! Any PONY. My bad, they just discriminate against other species!”
>The crowd starts to boo and jeer, glaring at the stallion.
>Anon steps towards the crowd, arms moving fluidly.
>”I have a dream! A dream where any species of any gender can have an equal opportunity to enjoy the beauty of Las Pegasus.”
>The crowd starts to nods, voices of agreement ringing across the room.
>”I have a dream, that a human can sit alongside a pony and have the same odds to win or lose, to be equals alongside his sibling from another parent!”
>The cheers grow louder, crowd begging him to continue.
>”I have a dream, that I may be able to walk this wondrous streets with my arm around a mare, and not be judged! A dream where you and I may enter any establishment and be seen as customers; not a pony and a human!”
>When did Anon become such an orator?
>”I have a dream! Do you share this dream?”
>Chants of agreement come from the hundred of ponies on the casino floors and around the hotel.
>The stallions seem to be sweating bullets, eyes as wide as dinner plates.
>”W-We apologize sir if we caused you any inconvenience. The Home Stable casino and resort would like to offer a gift, to show there are no hard feelings.”
>Anon crosses his arms, looking back to the stallion.
>”That all depends, will you offer my aid here an apology as well?”
>He nods, looking to you.
>”We would like to offer free rooms for the duration of your stay as well as three hundred bits worth of casino tokens each.”
>The crowd seems displeased with his offer.
>Anon notices this and looks back.
>”What do we say my brothers and sisters?”
>The crowd speaks in unison, a loud resounding;
>”No!”
>The stallion looks on the brink of a panic attack.
>”F-Fifteen hundred tokens each and complimentary meals?”
>Anon waves to the crowd, who all start to clap and cheer.
>”Well, if it's good enough for them. I accept.”
>Anon offers the stallion his hand.
>They shake and leave as quickly as they appeared.
>Gasping, you manage to choke out a chuckle.
“A-Anon! How'd you do that? How'd y-”
>He places a finger on your lips, leading you to a secluded area.
“W-What are you doing Anon?”
>”Showing a little appreciation to my best friend.”
>He places his hands on your plot, grasping it firmly.
>Whimpering, you look up to his eyes.
>He's your best friend, he just said that.
>Then why is he grabbing your behind?
>I-Is this his way of...
>N-No, this is moving too fast.
>Maybe after a date, some cuddling, a few kisses.
“A-Anon, I do-”
>His head leans forward, dropping the shades to the ground.
>Looking up, his eyes are still closed.
“Wait, what in the heck?”
>A giggle starts to come from Anon's body, but his lips aren't moving.
>”Wow! I can't believe I was able to trick you for so long.”
>Pinkie Pie?!
“Pinkie?! Where are you?”
>The back of Anon's shirt begins to shuffles a bit as a few pink hairs stick out of it.
>Some more shaking and Pinkie's head is in full view behind Anon's.
>”Hi hi Twilight!”
>Anon's hand starts to wave, Pinkie biting her tongue as it does.
>You start to babble, unable to comprehend what just happened.
>Pinkie giggles again.
>”Neat, huh? I didn't think my Nonny impression was that good either!”
“A-All that. The speech, the moving around, the ass grab-”
>”Uh huh, all me! It's kinda hard getting Nonny to move, he's a lot heavier than a puppet, but I did it! I saved the day!”
>Taking a deep breath, you let out a dejected sigh.
>You were kind of hoping Anon was really being that assertive.
>Would have been just like one of your books.
>Looking to Pinkie, you manage to ask her.
“Why did you do it?”
>She pushes herself back down Anon's shirt, leaving near to no evidence she is on his back.
>”Well, when I saw you being bullied, I asked myself; what would Nonny do? Then it hit me! He wouldn't let you get bullied like that, he would swoop in and be the awesome hero that he is! … but I couldn't be an awesome hero like he is, so I did the next best thing.”
>Anon's hand pat his own back, then reaches for the shades in front of him.
>”I jumped on Nonny's back and decided I would handle things -Nonny style-. Now look what happened! Free rooms, meals, AND a bunch of bits! Not too bad if I say so myself!”
>Looking at Anon, you shake your head and sigh again.
“Pinkie, Anon isn't an awesome hero.”
>”Yeah he is.”
“No, he's just Anon, our friend.”
>The pink mare has Anon's lips mimic a yawn.
>”Well if he's not an awesome hero, then how come he was able to rally a crowd like that AND handle those bullies? HMMMM?”
>Bringing a hoof to your face, you decide not to point out that it was her doing and just roll with it.
“Okay, you're right. Anon is a hero. Now get out of there, we should head back to the hotel room before somepony actually does figure us out.”
>As you step towards the casino, Pinkienon places a hand on your shoulder.
>”Orrrrr, and hear me out on this, we split up. You can go gamble for yourself while I gamble as Nonny! That way everyone has fun!”
>It would be nice to have some time to yourself at the tables...
“All right, but do NOT leave this building. Am I clear?”
>Pinkie giggles, having Anon salute you.
>”Clear as clear skies on a clear day!”
>With that, Anon's body is off to go gamble some of his many many many many bits away.
>What harm can Pinkie do inside the building anyways?
>Stretching your hooves, you stand up and collect your winnings.
>You have to admit, Dash was right.
>Las Pegasus is a great place to relax.
>Time to make another trip to the cashing station.
>As you carry your tokens, you overhear some gossip.
>”Did you see that thing kick those douchebags' asses? Oh sweet Celestia, he was so brave! What did he say he was again?”
>”I think he said he was a human. If only the stallions around here were half as gallant as he was.”
>Stopping in your tracks, your lip twitches as you look for the gossipers.
>Two mares are walking across from you, towards the slots.
>You rush towards them, chuckling a bit.
“Hi! Ladies, what was that about a human?”
>They look to you, as if you were missing something very important.
>”Yeah, there was this human down at this bar who totally saved these mares from getting taken advantage of.”
>Oh, Pinkie did NOT just kidnap Anon.
“Um, where is this bar at?”
>”Down on fourth and main. The rusty horseshoe I think.”
>Handing them a hoofful of chips each, you thank them and go cash out before rushing out of the building.
“PINKIE PIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”
-------------------
Pinkie's view
-------------------
>Pulling on the lever, you wait for the bell to ring.
>*Ding ding ding ding ding!*
“Whoo hoo!”
>Bits start to pour out of the machine, onto Nonny's lap.
>It was unfair how good you were at slots!
>Maybe it had something to do with your Pinkie sense and knowing which machines paid out the most.
>Maybe not.
>Doesn't matter, all that mattered was that you were having fun.
>And you were having all sorts of fun!
>Winning lots of bits, playing with Nonny for the first time in a long time, AND you got to show off your Nonny impression!
>This was a great day.
>Taking a peek over at Twilight, she seems to be raking it in.
>Good for her, you knew she would like Las Pegasus.
>A few giggles come from beside you.
>Turning to them, you see some mares smiling and looking at Nonny.
>”H-Hi.”
“Hi there!”
>Wait!
>That's not how Nonny would talk.
“*Kmph* I mean, hey.”
>They giggle some more, playing around with their manes.
>”We saw you give that speech. We'd just like to say that we totes agree with you and we were wondering if we could buy you a drink or two. We know this awesome bar not too far from here. Whaddya say hun?”
>Hmmm, Twilight said not to leave the building.
>... BUUUUT it would be AWFULLY suspicious if Nonny didn't take them up on their offer.
>That settles that, you have Nonny nod and put his bits into his pockets.
“I'd love to join you all for some drinks.”
>They squeal and take spots next to you, leading Nonny out of the casino.
>You'll be quick, just a drink or two and right back to the hotel room!
>Twilight won't even notice you two are gone.
>”Hee, wow! How many drinks is that?”
>Setting the mug down, you try your best to imitate Anon's laugh.
“Oh, I'd say six or seven now.”
>The group of mares have been really nice!
>They've made an awful lotta passes at Nonny, but you made it clear that Nonny isn't interested.
>You wouldn't want him waking up and finding out you accidentally set him up in a relationship.
>That'd be awkward!
>The bartender slides down another drink.
>As you are about to get Nonny to down the mug, one of the mares excuses herself to use the little fillies room.
>”So, like, are you SURE you wouldn't like to spend the weekend hanging out with us? We'd REALLY like having you around.”
>Once the last drop is down Nonny's throat, you put the mug down and look to the mare, making sure his shades don't fall off.
“Ladies, I'd love to, really I would. But I'm already here with a group of mares and I'm sure they'd miss me if I went missing.”
>They all *Awwww* in unison, some even pout.
>”Oh, poo. Well, let's enjoy ourselves while we can then!”
>They order up another round of drinks and each take their fruity little things in small doses.
>Pfft!
>Nonny is a MAN!
>He wouldn't like that stuff anyways.
>Huh, can Nonny drink while he's in a coma?
>Eh, you'll empty him out later.
>A grunt and yelp catch your attention as you are about to excuse Nonny.
>”I said back off!”
>The mare who left to use the bathroom is being bullied by some stallions.
>”Come ooon baby, you know you want some fun.”
>One of the stallions smacks her across the flanks, causing her to squeal and get backed into a corner.
>Her friends rush to try and help, but are held back by the jerk's friends.
>You should get the police!
>Just as you get Nonny to stand, you realize something...
>Nonny wouldn't get the cops.
>No, he would handle the situation himself!
>Because that's what a hero does.
>Cracking your bestest buddy's knuckles, you have him walk to the stallions.
“Excuse me, but I think the lady would like to be left alone.”
>The stallions growl, allowing their friend to continue to harass the poor mare.
>”Hey, buddy, stay out of this. This ain't none of your business.”
>Hmmm, think of something witty to say, something badass that Nonny would approve of.
“Well I'm making it my business.”
>Hell yeah!
>You KNOW Nonny would have liked that one.
>As the stallions turn to you, they push the mares to the sides and surround Nonny.
>Uh oh, looks like they want a fight.
>Good thing you've seen Nonny fight before!
>You have all of his moves practically memorized.
>As one of the stallions rush, you give him a frowny kick!
>It sends him flying into the bar, crashing against the counter.
>Another one tries to get Nonny from behind.
>Dizzy flip!
>You think you heard his back crack against the floor.
>Probably did, considering how he is gasping and his eyes are as wide as two cueballs.
>The last two rush your amigo's sides.
>Spinny kick!
>Sure, Nonny is doing the splits right now, but it did send both of them into the walls.
>The only one that is left is the jerk who was harassing the mare.
>He looks at you, eyes gawking at each of his friends.
>Standing Nonny up and getting him riiiight in front of him, you make your human pal grab the stallion by his neck.
“The lady said to back off.”
>Window toss!
>With all the jerks taken care off, the mares squeal and rush Nonny.
>Hugging him and kissing all over.
>You make Nonny chuckle, petting their heads.
>Silly Twilight, thinking Nonny isn't a hero.
>The bartender is glaring at you.
>”God damn drunkard! I'm calling the cops!”
>Wait, but Nonny just saved the mare!
>Why is he calling the cops on the good guy?
>You don't have time to think on it as the mares push you towards the door.
>”Go go go!”
>”We'll never forget you!
>”Call me!
>”Me too!”
>Waving back to the ladies, you run up the street.
>Welp, guess some heroes just aren't appreciated!
>You and Nonny have been walking around Las Pegasus for a while now, and it has been fun!
>The two of you saw lots of neat ponies doing strange things.
>Like sword swallowing, and flashing their crotchboobs for beads, and wrestling bears.
>Well...
>YOU saw, but you'll tell Nonny later!
>You're sure he'll love it.
>As you round a corner, you see a pie eating contest.
>”Step right up, step right up! Compete in a battle of the guts! See if you have the mettle to come out on top and win a lifetime supply of food from Basilio's baked goods! Remember, if it isn't Basilio's, it's garbage!”
>Lifetime supply of free sweets?!
>You can't raise Nonny's hand fast enough!
“I'll take the challenge!
>It only takes you a couple minutes to get Nonny entered.
>They put a bib with a number around his neck.
>Number 13.
>You feel lucky with that number!
>The announcer is pacing the stage, looking at you and the other pony contestants.
>”The rules are simple; first one to finish their twenty pies, wins! No throwing up, you have to eat the whole pie, and have fun!”
>Don't worry Mr. Announcer stallion, you and Nonny will!
>”On your mark...”
>You place the first pie in front of Nonny.
>”Get seeeeeeet...”
>Oooh, this is going to be so much fun!”
>”GO!”
>As you have Nonny chomp down on pies, forcing them down his mouth, you can't help but feel the competition is heated!
>Only the greatest one will win.
>The one with an appetite that is-
>”W-We have a winner!”
>Wait, what?
>”Number thirteen! T-That was amazing! You were eating WHOLE pies! How did you do that?!”
>Wait, you and Nonny won?!
>Whoo hoo!
>Having Nonny jump, you can't help but feel the weight of the pies in his tummy jump with.
“It was nothing sir! I was just REALLY hungry!”
>Looking to the side, you can see that the closest pony was on his third pie.
>Weak!
>As the announcer steps in front of you, he shakes Nonny's hand with such admiration.
>”Sir, you have earned this lifetime supply of free baked goods! That was the finest display of competitive eating I have seen since our old champ Iron Will was around! That is, until, he retired and got into the motivational speaking biz.”
>Boos and jeers fill the street.
“Wow, what a quitter!”
>”I know, right?! Anyway, just fill out this card and we will have your first shipment of goods out by next week!”
>Ahhh, Nonny is going to love this.
>Even if his body is all rumbly and grumbly right now.
>”*bluuuuurghhhhck*”
>Whimpering, you continue to hold Nonny upside down; watching as whole pies and a lot of alcohol come spewing out of his body.
>Looks like Nonny can't eat or drink while he isn't awake.
>Who knew?
>”*n-N-NBLUUUUUUUUUURGHKKKCK!*”
>He just threw up a lot, landing on the alley's floor.
>A stallion walks by as you finish getting the stuff out of Nonny's stomach.
>He looks to you, then Nonny.
“H-Heheh, couldn't handle his drinks, you know?”
>He simply nods, looking in astonishment as Nonny continues to spew.
>After a couple more minutes, he just walks off; a look of disgust and wonder on his face.
>Phew, looks like Nonny is finishing.
>Sitting your friend away from the icky vomit, you crawl down his back and get back into position.
“Don't worry Nonny, I'm sure all those super good sweets will make you feel better!”
>You make him smile and nod.
“See? I knew you would think so!”
>Standing up, you walk out of the alley, looking for some water or something to clean your friend's mouth.
>As you find a nearby restaurant, you hear a tiny whistle like noise.
>You listen in and the whistle is getting closer, almost like a voice.
>”... ieeeeeeee.”
>Ieeeeee?
>What is an Ieeeeee?
>”...Nkie Pieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!...”
>Huh, Inkie Pie?
>Your sister is here?
>Why didn't she tell you?
>”PINKIE PIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”
>Oh!
>Pinkie Pie!
>That makes MUCH more sense!
>Wait, who's calling your name?
>”PINKIE PIEEEEEEEEEEE!”
>You and Nonny get tackled to the ground.
>Whoa, that is one angry red and white Unicorn.
>Oh, wait, it's just Twilight!
>And she's on fire again.
>”WHAT HAPPENED TO STAYING IN THE CASINO?!”
>You giggle, stroking Twilight's cheek.
“Relaaax Twilight. Nonny got invited to get some drinks by some nice mares. How could I say no?”
>Her neck snaps upward, steam spewing from her ears.
>Ohhh, that was the whistling noise!
>Everything is finally making sense.
>”You got into a bar fight! The cops are looking for Anon, do you understand that?!”
>You make Nonny *harumph*.
“Well they were the ones who started it! Harassing a poor mare like that. How could Nonny just stand by and let them?”
>”You fractured three of their spines!”
“So? Not like they'll need new ones.”
>”You caused thousands in property damage!”
“Nonny has more than that, PLUS, free rooms, right?”
>Twilight lets out a loud yell and finally turns purple again.
>She pants and glares, groaning as she raises her front hooves towards Nonny's head.
>After a few minutes of heavy breathing and her hooves shaking, she finally calms down.
>She climbs off you, a hoof resting against her face.
>You stand up and smile.
“See? I know what I'm doing.”
>”Ju-Just wait in this restaurant. I need to go get the others.”
“Okie-”
>She snaps her hoof towards Nonny, pointing at his face.
“ANON IS NOT ALLOWED TO LEAVE THIS RESTAURANT WITHOUT THE REST OF US HERE, UNDERSTOOD?!”
>Oooh, she is still real mad.
“Okie dokie lokie!”
>”Pinkie promise!”
>Whoa, she is super serious right now.
“Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!”
>Satisfied, the purple mare nods and turns away from you.
>As Twilight stomps off, you step inside.
>A sad looking waitress is waiting near the door.
>”Welcome... how many in your party?”
“Just one for now.”
>She nods, frowning as she leads you to a booth.
>”My name is Trish, I'll be your waitress this afternoon.”
>She leaves you a menu and sighs.
>”I'll be back soon to take your order.”
>Aw, she must be going through something.
>You would help...
>But you promised Twilight that Nonny would stay in the restaurant.
>What if her problem needs to make you leave it?
>Nopony breaks a Pinkie Promise!
>Awww, now you're sad.
>And Nonny's mouth still stinks.
>Getting Nonny up, you take him to the bathrooms.
>... Do you go in the stallions or mares room?
>After some debate, you decided to take Nonny in the stallion's room since you were going in for him!
>If you ever need to go in for you, then the mare's room is where you'll be!
>With a clean mouth, you head back to the booth.
>The mare arrives, pen and paper ready to order.
>”Can I get you something to drink?”
“Just some water please!”
>You don't think you could empty Nonny out if he has to throw up again.
>She nods and wipes her eyes.
>Ooooh, you REALLY want to help her.
>Before you can pout more, cheers and clapping fill your ears.
>”Good afternoon Las Pegasus! Welcome to a special live shooting of... COOOOOOOOOOOLT CAAAAAAAKES!”
>What?!
>”Thank you all for showing up; we know you all are here for one thing. To see amazing cakes be made before your eyes!”
>The show is already starting?
>Here?!
>Oh no, no no no!
>YOUR TICKET!
>Checking Nonny's pockets, you see that it right here!
>Along with your Colt Cakes shirt, cap, and autograph book.
>For a second there, you thought you left them in the hotel room!
>Hopping out of Nonny's shirt, you put everything on and get ready to rush for the cheers and find the show.
>Wait, if you do that, Nonny will be all alone!
>You look to Nonny, then the cheers.
>Continuing to shift your gaze, you start to whimper.
“Nnnnnnn, nghhhhhhhhh!”
>Cakes or friend?
>CAKES OR FRIEND?!
>”Oh, what's this? Holy cow folks, I don't believe this! It looks like our gracious hosts are going to attempt to make a twenty foot cake!”
>Groaning, you slump and look towards the direction the cheers are coming from.
“Oh, come ON!”
>Looks like you have no choice now.
“I'm sorry Nonny!”
>Leaving a peck on his cheek, you position him in a way that doesn't look boring or suspicious.
>As he leans over the table, hands connected and head occasionally bobbing; you rush for the show.
>Where is it, where is it?!
>Found it!
>Flashing your ticket and rushing inside, you find a front row seat.
>Hundreds of other ponies are seated around you, all amazed and hooting.
>You soon join them, watching as the batter gets made.
>”Looks like they are starting to finish the first layers folks. Who wants to lick the bowls?!”
>Hooves from all over the room shoot up, including your own.
“Me, ME!”
>Filly Mays looks around, hand stroking his fuzzy beard as he smiles.
>”How abouuuut... you!”
>His hoof is pointing to you!
>Squealing, you trot up stage next to him and cake baking legends; Emerald Lasagna, Frosting Fillman, and Blueberry Doughboy!
>Emerald started off doing what his name said, making lasagna.
>However, he noticed he had talent for layers, ALL layers.
>Frosting makes the BEST frosting in the world!
>And Doughboy knows how to make perfect cakes!
>Together, they are the hosts of Colt Cakes!
>”Tell me miss, what is your name?”
“P-Pinkie Pie!”
>”And what do you do Pinkie Pie?”
“I-I-I bake cakes for Sugarcube Corner!”
>The room is filled with cheers.
>Even the chefs are nodding, clapping along with!
>”Well now, looks like I picked the right mare! One who can truly appreciate what we do. Now how about we let you get the first taste of this cake?!”
>You yell, hugging Filly Mays as you wait for the pans to be brought to you.
>This is the best day ever!
>Oh sweet Celestia.
>This was so worth every bit you spent.
>Lots of yummy cake batter AND they were able to add five feet to the cake!
>So much frosting, so much sugar.
>Hopefully Nonny and Twilight can forgive you.
>Waddling back to the booth you left Nonny at, you see the waitress.
>She has a wide smile and is blissfully playing with her mane.
>Looks like she was able to deal with her problem
>Good for her!
>Arriving at the booth, you see it's empty.
>...
>You close your eyes and open them again.
>Still empty.
>Stuttering, you waddle back to the mare.
“E-Excuse me, I was supposed to meet my bestest buddy Nonny here. He was wearing shades and a nice suit. Did you see him?”
>She giggles, shaking her head.
>”Yeees, I did. He stayed for a bit before his rainbow maned friend came and picked him up.”
>W-Wait, what happened?
>”Oooh he is such a good listener! And so... exotic tasting. Um, do you happen to know if he is single?”
>Oh no...
>Twilight is going to be sooooo mad.

create a new version of this paste RAW Paste Data

>Day Stress will kill you in Equestria.
>Fuck Celestia, seriously.
>How can she expect you to get all this work done in less than a week?!
>Looking at the stack of papers, you groan as you realize you've been working nonstop for nearing three days and have yet to make a dent in it.
>Running your hand down your face, you can feel the shagginess of the beard you are growing.
>You need a shave and shower soooo badly.
>Your head starts to throb, probably due to your lack of sleep and continued hours of work.
>Taking a whiff, the room is starting to fill with the stench of your old clothes again.
>You would open the windows and let some sunlight in, but your eyes have adjusted to the dark so well you're afraid you might cause more harm than good if you do.
>Grabbing your stomach, you let off a groan as you realize you haven't had a decent meal in days.
>Your eyes feel like they are about to pop any moment, but you don't have the luxury to give into any of these obvious signs to relent.
>An opportunity like this rolls around once, maybe twice if you are lucky.
>You don't get to bitch about it, no matter how badly you want to.
>With a heavy sigh, you take a deep breath and force your body back upright.
>Welp, better get back to work.
>...
>Wait, where are the annual income reference sheets?
>They were right here!
>Fuck, you can't get anything done without those papers!
>You start to frantically look through the stacks of papers, trying to find those damn sheets.
>Panicking, you start to hyperventilate.
“Shit... shit... shit, shit shit shit shitshitshitSHITSHITSHITSHIT!”
>Your heart starts to beat faster, like it's going to burst out of your chest.
>Sweat runs down your brow, falling to the papers below.
>A mixture of exhaustion and stress has you fall to your knees.
>[OVERLOAD! OVERLOAD!]
>The world goes gray as your eyes start shaking.
>[EMERGENCY SHUTDOWN ACTIVATED!]
>*Kthunk*


>Day It's a long story in Equestria
>Groaning, you wake up and yawn.
>The sharpest of pains runs through various parts of your body.
“GAH, FUCK!”
>You grip your face, chest, and close your legs.
>It feels like you've been hit by a 2 x 4 into an oncoming truck that was about to head off of a cliff into a ravine filled with pissed off menstruating porcupines.
>There is a violent stinging sensation running all through out your head.
>Your back and waist feel like some one was trying to compress them into miniature cubes.
>There is also a painful soreness coming from your crotch.
>Whimpering, you hear a yawn and a pair of lips smacking.
>”A-Anon? Yer awake!”
>Pulling your hand down, you see Applejack.
>She is covered in sperm while wearing a wedding dress and diamond horse shoe.
“Gahha! A-Applejack, what the hell happened to me?”
>More yawns fill the room.
>Looking around, you see almost a dozen mares you know all laying around this large room that's covered in heart decorations.
>Pinkie squeals and rushes towards you.
>She jumps and hugs you, clinging to your body.
>”Yay! Nonny's awake!”
>Looking at her hoof, she is not wearing a diamond horseshoe like AJ was, nor is she covered in jizz.
“What the hell happened?!”
>Twilight pulls Pinkie off, chuckling nervously.
>”I-It's kind of a funny story, true story. You see, it all started when-”
>Rainbow Dash groans and interrupts the purple mare.
>”We're in Las Pegasus; you've been a human fuck toy for almost a whole day, and had your body tossed around like a beach ball for half."
>You've been a WHAT?!
>"Oh, and you're a millionaire now... and married to five mares."
>...
>You take a moment to let this all sink in.
>Inhale a deep breath and...
“WHAT?!”
>Twilight yelps, ears falling flat.
>”I-It's Rainbow's fault! She was the one who kidnapped you!”
>The rainbow pegasus looks shocked, glaring at her friend.
>”Nuh uh! It's Pinkie's fault! If she hadn't ditched him, I wouldn't have had the chance to grab him!”
>Pinkie jumps on your back, somehow getting your body to move as she wants.
>”Hey! It's not my fault that the restaurant Twilight sent me to just happened to be the one Colt Cakes was shooting at! They had a twenty five foot cake! TWENTY FIVE FOOT!”
>As the mares continue to argue, you groan and pull the pink mare off your back.
“WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!?”
>Your yell silences them all.
>Twilight sighs and steps forward.
>”Well, like I said, it all started when-”

-------------------
Twilight's view.
-------------------

>Humming, you continue to trot down the road to Anon's house on this lovely bright morning.
>Checking one last time, you can see that the book he lent you is still safely in your saddlebag.
>This was a great read!
>Earth books were always so different from your own world's.
>You are lucky to have a best friend generous enough to let you borrow one whenever you ask.
>As you approach his house, you see your other friends all heading there as well.
>They seem to have the same confused expression you do.
>Stopping just a few feet from Anon's front door, you look around to your five concerned friends.
>Applejack rubs the back of her head, letting out a nervous chuckle.
>”Uh, howdy y'all. So, ah take it ah'm not the only one on their way ta see Anon?”
“Nope, I'm here to return a book he lent me a couple days ago. You?”
>The orange mare, looks away, laughing a bit more.
>”Who, me? A-Ah'm just checkin' in on him. Haven't seen him in a couple days 'n ah got worried. What about tha rest of y'all?”
>Rarity pulls out a lunch box and some soaps.
>”Our mutual friend asked me to check in on him every couple of days to make sure he was not working himself too hard. I figured he might be getting a bit peckish if the work load he was assigned was truly as monstrous as he let on.”
>Pinkie hops on top of Rarity, eying the lunch box.
>”Well I was just gonna see if Nonny wanted to play. The last time we played was before Celestia gave him that super long named job.”
>Licking her lips, the sneaky mare tries to lift the lunchbox.
>Rarity pulls it back while giving Pinkie an unamused stare.
>Looking to Dash, her eyes are darting from left to right.
>This is going to be good...
“Well, what about you Rainbow?”
>The cyan pegasus chuckles, giving a cheeky grin.
>”Me? Oh, no real reason. Just checking to see if he wanted to hang out, that's all.”
>Sighing, you move on to Fluttershy.
>You all know she has a major crush on Anon and has been TRYING to seduce him.
>The last thing Anon needs right now is Fluttershy distracting him.
“And you, Fluttershy?”
>She lets out a small whimper before kicking some dirt around.
>”I-I was just going to see if he wanted some company... t-that's all.”
>Before you can call her out on her obvious attempt to take Anon's time pitching woo, a loud crash comes from inside his house.
>Applejack is the first to react, rushing inside.
>”Oh mah gosh! A-Anon!”
>The rest of you follow after her.
>Looking for your friend, you see his lifeless corpse laying against his desk.
>His eyes are wide open, mouth agape.
>The rest of his body is bent over the desk as his legs hang freely.
>Pinkie screams at the sight.
>Rarity faints, only to be caught by Rainbow.
>Fluttershy is crying as Applejack tries to calm her down.
>You walk towards your friend, at a loss for words.
>Tearing up, you place your hoof on his back.
>... It's still warm.
>You quickly bring your hoof to his neck.
>His heart is beating!
>Listening, you can hear him taking shallow breaths.
“He's alive! HE'S ALIVE!”
>Rarity awakens at your announcement.
>”He is?! Marvelous!”
>The rest of the group is more than a little relieved to know your mutual friend is still amongst the living.
>”Well, if he ain't gone, why's he look like that? Ah've never seen a livin' thing bend that way.”
>Looking around, you see he is splayed over a stack of papers so large that it would make even yourself cringe.
>One paper grabs your eye; a royal letter.
>You look it over and see that Celestia wanted him to balance the finances and spendings of the royal family as well as help with projections for the next decade.
>... Is your teacher insane, or does she seriously think any being would be able to pull this off?
“I'm not a professional, but I think he went into a stress induced coma.”
>Applejack walks over and places a hoof on his back.
>”Aw, the poor fella must be plum exhausted. Should we take him ta a hospital?”
>Looking at Anon, you wonder if a hospital would even be able to do anything to help him right now.
>As you muse to yourself, Rainbow Dash starts to giggle with glee.
>”I know what he needs. A vacation! Let's go to Las Pegasus!”
>Rolling your eyes, you turn around to the floating mare.
“How would taking a human in a coma to a cesspool like Las Pegasus help?”
>She flies next to him, grabbing his head.
>”Look at the guy, he's stressed out. What is the best place to get rid of stress? Las Pegasus! I'm sure all he needs is a weekend of fun, gambling, and freedom to fix himself!”
>Rarity groans, placing her hoof on her face.
>”Anon is in a coma, darling. He isn't even aware of what is going on, much less able to enjoy anything that would happen to him.”
>The cyan pegasus blows a raspberry, waving her hoof up and down.
>”Come on, even if he's zonked out, he'll still be able to relax by getting away from this junk.”
>You look to Applejack who looks back at you.
>She jerks her head to Dash, silently asking if she is serious.
>You sigh and nod, unable to believe it either.
>As you two watch Dash continue to prattle on about how great a weekend away would be, Pinkie starts to giggle and bound around Anon's house.
>”Let's go to Las Pegasus!”
>Everyone save for Dash and Fluttershy is staring at Pinkie in shock.
“Pinkie, please tell me you aren't serious...”
>”Of course I am! There's a special filming of Colt Cakes going on this weekend. I could watch it being filmed! Live! As it's happening! Eeheeheehee.”
>Dash nods, excited she has someone on her side.
>”Right! See? It doesn't just have to be about getting Anon better! We could all go and do some awesome things. Think about it, it's the entertainment capital of the world!”
>Before you can respond, Rarity seems to be mumbling to herself.
>”There is that fashion show taking place this weekend...”
>You can't believe somepony as level headed as Rarity is even thinking of going along with this silly plan.
>Fluttershy floats next to Anon, taking his hand in her hooves.
>”U-Um... I think it's a great idea. We could take Anon out, l-let him relax... m-maybe take him out on the town alone?”
>Applejack's body stiffens, she jumps over and pulls Fluttershy's hooves off his body.
>”Now hold on there! If y'all 're really goin' through with this, ah ain't lettin' ya give Fluttershy a chance ta take Anon alone around a city that has so little morals!”
>Dash takes a spot next to AJ, placing a hoof on her shoulder.
>”Then I guess somepony should come along and keep him safe, shouldn't they?”
>The orange mare nods, 100% serious.
>Shaking your head, you stomp your hoof.
“I can't believe you are all seriously thinking of taking a COMA patient on a vacation! Are you all insane?!”
>All five of your friends look to each other.
>Each of them save for Dash and Shy are losing their resolve.
>With a smirk, you place Anon's body in a position that doesn't look painful.
>”Hmph, I can't believe you are being such a stick in the mud Twilight.”
>Sighing, you look to the cyan pegasus.
“What?”
>She looks away, apathetic.
>”Makes sense though. That is sooo like you. No wonder you and Anon aren't such great friends.”
>Shocked, you look to her and start to stutter.
“W-What do you mean? We're best friends!”
>She scoffs, looking around the room.
>”How long would you guys say Anon spends with you each week?”
>Applejack looks up and hums to herself.
>”Ah'd say... maybe a couple hours a day? Ah usually see him around town.”
>Pinkie giggles and pulls out a flier for the 'Colt Cakes' show she was talking about.
>”I see Nonny all the time. We used to play together everyday until he got this job. Maybe now we can do it again since it put him in a coma!”
>You can't believe this.
>Rarity rubs her chin, looking with intent to the floorboards.
>”I see him every now and again around the shop, but we mostly meet here and have tea or coffee. A simple little activity, but we do spend quite a bit of time together.”
>Even Rarity?
>”I-I try to spend as much time as possible with Anon. Oh, maybe a full thirty or so hours a week?”
>Your eyes go wide.
>Fluttershy spent a lot of time trying to be with Anon, but you didn't think it was THAT much!
>Dash is smirking, looking to you.
>”Well Twilight? How long do you spend with Anon?”
>Stepping back, you can feel your ears droop.
>You two were always so busy, but it's not the quantity of time you spend together, it's the quality!
>... Right?
“J-Just a few minutes each day? Full hour if we're lucky.”
>”And YOU are his best friend? Heck, even I see him more than that.”
>How can Anon find time to spend with everypony else but not you?
>... Is it really because you are a stick in the mud?
>Does he like hanging out with everypony else more?
>...
>Fine!
>You'll show them.
>Twilight Sparkle is no stick in the mud!
“All right! You all want to go to Las Pegasus so bad? Let's go!”
>Dash hoof pumps as Pinkie and Fluttershy cheer.
>Rarity smiles then goes on a small rant on what she will be taking with her.
>Applejack looks to Anon, concerned.
>”How're we gonna get a comafied alien across tha border?”
>Dash slaps some shades on Anon's eyes and pulls his jaw up.
>”Huh? Bet you can't even tell he is half dead.”
>You pull your lips to the side, looking at Dash with a stare of disbelief.
“And how are we going to get him to move?”
>Everypony is staring at you.
“...”
>”...”
“What?”


>”Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!”
>Pinkie is continuously sticking her head in and out of the stretch carriage's sun roof.
>Trying to hold your concentration, you make Anon look as alive as you can.
>Dash is chuckling, head laying back across her hooves.
>”What'd I tell you? No problem.”
>You can't believe how easy it was to trick the carriage rental place.
>They actually thought Anon was as wooden as he is now!
>With a smirk, Dash joins Pinkie in sticking her head out of the sun roof.
>”Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!”
>Applejack and Rarity look to each other, smiling as they sit up from their seats.
>Aaand now you have four mares sticking their heads out like foals.
>Sighing, you look to Anon.
>...
>”O-Oh, hi Twilight.”
>Fluttershy is messing with Anon's pants fly.
>”U-Um, I was just fixing his pants.”
“Sure you were Fluttershy.”
>Sweating a bit, she sits up and joins the rest of your friends.
>”W-Whoo?”
>You take a deep breath before making sure Anon's clothes are as tight as they normally are.
>Applejack sticks a hoof towards you and flashes you a big smile.
>”Heh, cmon girl! We're in Las Pegasus!”
>You look to her hoof, then to her.
>... Ah, fuck it.
>You stand up and join them.
>In unison you each keep dipping in and out of the sun roof.
>”Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!”
>Dash chuckles and brings Anon up with.
>From the streets, this must look pretty silly.
>Six full grown mares and their alien friend acting like foals.
>As you all continue to dip in and out, Anon's stiff body stays out, hands placed on the roof.
>”Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!”
>Giggling, you almost don't hear Pinkie yell.
>”Tree!”
>You all squeal and duck back down.
>Crap!
>Anon is st-
>*SHMACK!*
>Anon's body is smacked by the tree, pulling him out of the carriage.
“Oh fuck!”
>Dash starts to pound on the walls, signalling the driver to stop.
>All of you save for Dash hurry out of the carriage.
>Anon is laying face down in the middle of the road.
>Oh fuck oh fuck oooooh fuck!
>Rushing to his side, you lift him up and carry him back to the carriage.
>Sitting him down, the carriage speeds off.
“Oh sweet Celestia! Look at his face!”
>You pull your hooves to your eyes, looking away.
>His shades are broken,  face full of splinters, and nose looks split.
>This is all your fault!
>How could you let Rainbow talk you into this?!
>You should have known better!
>Now look at whats happened to Anon!
>When he wakes up, he is going to ki-
>”There, all better!”
>Huh?
>Rarity's horn is glowing, healing Anon's face and removing the splinters.
>His shades are also repaired.
>Oh thank Celestia!
>Dash chuckles, wiping some sweat from her brow.
>”See? Nothing serious. W-We should probably avoid the sun roof for now though.”
>Glaring at her, you place Anon between yourself and Applejack.
>He isn't going anywhere until you all reach the hotel.
>Fluttershy tries to touch his crotch again.
>You smack her hoof away with magic.


>Dragging Anon towards the bed, you let go of him and head back out to help the others with their baggage.
>Rarity sure brought a lot for a two day trip.
>As you help her magic in a few boxes, she struggles to give you a smile.
>”T-Thank you darling.”
“Nnnph, d-don't mention it.”
>Working together, you two manage to get her entire load in one trip.
>Letting off a soft sigh of relief, you turn to see Anon's body being abused by two certain pegasi.
>Fluttershy is undressing him as Dash writes on his face with permanent marker.
>Applejack notices your glare and looks to the two mares.
>”Quit it ya two! He ain't a play thing ya know!”
>They yelp and stop messing with him.
>Taking a deep breath, you sit next to Anon.
>Rainbow drew a dick on his face... classy.
>You magic off the marker and lay down.
>Dash looks over your head, looking down in disappointment.
>”What are you doing?”
“Relaxing, like we came here to do.”
>She groans and pulls you up.
>”You don't come to Las Pegasus to sleep all day. You come here to see the sights, to have fun, go see shows! Like Rarity and Pinkie a-... where's Pinkie?”
>Looking around, you don't see the pink mare anywhere.
>Did you all lose her?!
>As you are about to call the LPPD, your missing friend steps into the room.
>She is wearing a 'Colt Cakes' shirt, cap, and is holding a ticket in her hoof.
>”Hey guys, what'd I miss?”
“Pinkie, where'd you go?”
>She flashes the ticket.
>”To go get my ticket for the show. Duh!”
>Rolling your eyes, you look to Dash.
“Look, we haven't even been here an hour and Anon's already been seriously hurt! He isn't leaving this hotel room, not safe!”
>The cyan pegasus groans, bringing her hooves to her face.
>”That was a fluke! An accident! He'll be fine out there, I swear.”
>You cross your hooves, dead serious.
>She sighs and rubs her temples.
>”Fine, we'll stay in the hotel. They have a casino underneath us anyways. Lets just go there.”
>You uncross your hooves and look to Anon.
>He'll be fine so long as you all stay within the building, right?
>Applejack steps to your side, placing her hoof on your shoulder.
>”C'mon girl. A lil gamblin' won't hurt him or you. We'll spend a couple hours in the casino, head out fer lunch, 'n relax the rest of our time here. Sound good?”
>Why can't the rest of your friends get you like AJ does?
“Sounds good. All right, come on Anon, lets go gamble.”
>You lift the human with your magic, making sure he is in good shape before having him walk outside of the hotel room.
>As you all enter the elevator, you look through Anon's pockets real quick.
>He only has about fifty bits on him at the moment.
>This'll be quick.


>”Whoooooo! Yeah! Look at that human rake it in! How does he do that?!”
>Chuckling, you have Anon wave to the crowd gathered around you.
>Somehow, Rainbow was able to turn Anon's fifty bits into nearly a thousand!
>She dragged you over to the poker tables and made sure you paid attention to what she did as she played.
>With her help, now you know when to hold them and when to fold them.
>After she taught you how to play, everyone just sort of went their own way.
>Now you and Anon are taking names!
>This is your table, YOURS!
>You buy in again and watch the dealer pass out each player's hand.
>Perfect!
>Pair of 6's right off the bat.
>One cocky stallion raises to the point of near going all in.
>Sucker doesn't know whats about to happen.
>You have Anon go all in.
>All the ponies save for the cocky one fold.
>Lets see... another 6, a 3, queen, and another 3.
>HOLY- Full house!
>Why couldn't the others have gone all in as well?
>You could have cleared a couple seats with the first hand!
>Man, you have the gambling bug bad, but you don't care!
>You love Las Pegasus!


“Anon? Dammit all.”
>You leave Anon alone for two minutes to go cash his chips and now you can't find him.
>How can a comatose human get lost?
>You let out a soft groan as you continue to look around.
>Gasping, you see Pinkie on the slots.
“Pinkie!”
>She turns to you and waves, lap full of bits.
>”Hi Twilight! Want a spin?”
>You rush to the mare, shaking your head.
“No, busy. Have you seen Anon?”
>She furrows her brow, confused.
>”Wait, you mean you weren't there when the strippers took him to that back room?”
>WHAT?!
“Who took him WHERE?!”
>She points to a room near the far end of the building.
>”Strippers, they took him to that back room.”
“When?!”
>”About five minutes ago.”
>You look to the ground and try to figure out what's going on.
“Why?”
>Pinkie shrugs, gathering her bits before leading you to the room she was talking about.
>As you get closer, loud funk starts to play.
>”Mmph... Mmph... Yes, like that honey.”
>What?
>You open the door and see a scantily clad mare riding Anon's donk with her hooves wrapped around his neck.
>Two more are running their tongues over his testicles.
“What the hell are you doing?!”
>They scream and cover themselves.
>”Get out of here!”
>Pinkie jumps in and throws them off, yelping as she drags Anon out of the room.
>”Ew ew ew ew ew! Nonny was getting date raped!”
>You zip his fly and magic him the fuck away from there.
“I know! Gah!”
>Just as the three of you are about to head back to the hotel room, you are stopped by two gruff looking stallions.
>They look like Snowflake, but without wings.
>They step aside and a sly looking stallion with greased back hair steps between them.
>”Excuse me, may we have a word with you?”
>Looking to Pinkie, she shrugs.
“Sure?”
>”Good, you see, we run security here at the fine Home Stable casino and resort.”
>Oh good, they can help you deal with Anon getting raped by those three mares.
>”We've noticed that you have been using magic nonstop since you got here and have been following this -guest- around.”
>Uh oh, did somepony figure out Anon's not really conscious?!
>”Curious that. Why, and I mean why would a guest need a unicorn chaperone to follow him around everywhere, especially to the casino floor?”
>No, wait, they just think you are cheating.
>...
>They think you are cheating?!
“W-Wait, what are you implying here?”
>”What I'm saying is that we have yet to see this... thing move without your magic around it or one of our fine -waitresses- leading it around. Bimmy, Jammy, please escort our friend here to the back office.”
>He jerks his head and the two gruff stallions surround you.
>Whimpering, you step back and stop using your magic.
>Closing your eyes, you prepare for the worst.
>”Wait just a minute here!”
>Anon?!
>You open your eyes and see Anon putting his hand in front of you, blocking the two security guards.
>The stallion raises an eyebrow, looking to you.
>”Hmm, so I guess you ARE a living being. If that's the case, why was this mare following you this entire time?”
>Anon stands straight, crossing his arms.
>”I'll have you know that I have a condition. See this leg?”
>He raises his left leg.
>”It's partially crippled and I need an aid to help me move it without risking permanent damage.”
>How long has he been up?
>The stallion nods, glaring a bit.
>”Mhmm, pardon me if I find that hard to believe.”
>Anon growls, throwing his arms into the air.
>”Oh this is nice! Hey! Everyone! This place discriminates against the disabled!”
>Dozens of heads turn to your group, all mumbling and looking at the three stallions.
>The sly one starts to stutter.
>”Th-That is not true! We hold no discrimination against any pony of any type of bodily ability.”
>”Oh! Any PONY. My bad, they just discriminate against other species!”
>The crowd starts to boo and jeer, glaring at the stallion.
>Anon steps towards the crowd, arms moving fluidly.
>”I have a dream! A dream where any species of any gender can have an equal opportunity to enjoy the beauty of Las Pegasus.”
>The crowd starts to nods, voices of agreement ringing across the room.
>”I have a dream, that a human can sit alongside a pony and have the same odds to win or lose, to be equals alongside his sibling from another parent!”
>The cheers grow louder, crowd begging him to continue.
>”I have a dream, that I may be able to walk this wondrous streets with my arm around a mare, and not be judged! A dream where you and I may enter any establishment and be seen as customers; not a pony and a human!”
>When did Anon become such an orator?
>”I have a dream! Do you share this dream?”
>Chants of agreement come from the hundred of ponies on the casino floors and around the hotel.
>The stallions seem to be sweating bullets, eyes as wide as dinner plates.
>”W-We apologize sir if we caused you any inconvenience. The Home Stable casino and resort would like to offer a gift, to show there are no hard feelings.”
>Anon crosses his arms, looking back to the stallion.
>”That all depends, will you offer my aid here an apology as well?”
>He nods, looking to you.
>”We would like to offer free rooms for the duration of your stay as well as three hundred bits worth of casino tokens each.”
>The crowd seems displeased with his offer.
>Anon notices this and looks back.
>”What do we say my brothers and sisters?”
>The crowd speaks in unison, a loud resounding;
>”No!”
>The stallion looks on the brink of a panic attack.
>”F-Fifteen hundred tokens each and complimentary meals?”
>Anon waves to the crowd, who all start to clap and cheer.
>”Well, if it's good enough for them. I accept.”
>Anon offers the stallion his hand.
>They shake and leave as quickly as they appeared.
>Gasping, you manage to choke out a chuckle.
“A-Anon! How'd you do that? How'd y-”
>He places a finger on your lips, leading you to a secluded area.
“W-What are you doing Anon?”
>”Showing a little appreciation to my best friend.”
>He places his hands on your plot, grasping it firmly.
>Whimpering, you look up to his eyes.
>He's your best friend, he just said that.
>Then why is he grabbing your behind?
>I-Is this his way of...
>N-No, this is moving too fast.
>Maybe after a date, some cuddling, a few kisses.
“A-Anon, I do-”
>His head leans forward, dropping the shades to the ground.
>Looking up, his eyes are still closed.
“Wait, what in the heck?”
>A giggle starts to come from Anon's body, but his lips aren't moving.
>”Wow! I can't believe I was able to trick you for so long.”
>Pinkie Pie?!
“Pinkie?! Where are you?”
>The back of Anon's shirt begins to shuffles a bit as a few pink hairs stick out of it.
>Some more shaking and Pinkie's head is in full view behind Anon's.
>”Hi hi Twilight!”
>Anon's hand starts to wave, Pinkie biting her tongue as it does.
>You start to babble, unable to comprehend what just happened.
>Pinkie giggles again.
>”Neat, huh? I didn't think my Nonny impression was that good either!”
“A-All that. The speech, the moving around, the ass grab-”
>”Uh huh, all me! It's kinda hard getting Nonny to move, he's a lot heavier than a puppet, but I did it! I saved the day!”
>Taking a deep breath, you let out a dejected sigh.
>You were kind of hoping Anon was really being that assertive.
>Would have been just like one of your books.
>Looking to Pinkie, you manage to ask her.
“Why did you do it?”
>She pushes herself back down Anon's shirt, leaving near to no evidence she is on his back.
>”Well, when I saw you being bullied, I asked myself; what would Nonny do? Then it hit me! He wouldn't let you get bullied like that, he would swoop in and be the awesome hero that he is! … but I couldn't be an awesome hero like he is, so I did the next best thing.”
>Anon's hand pat his own back, then reaches for the shades in front of him.
>”I jumped on Nonny's back and decided I would handle things -Nonny style-. Now look what happened! Free rooms, meals, AND a bunch of bits! Not too bad if I say so myself!”
>Looking at Anon, you shake your head and sigh again.
“Pinkie, Anon isn't an awesome hero.”
>”Yeah he is.”
“No, he's just Anon, our friend.”
>The pink mare has Anon's lips mimic a yawn.
>”Well if he's not an awesome hero, then how come he was able to rally a crowd like that AND handle those bullies? HMMMM?”
>Bringing a hoof to your face, you decide not to point out that it was her doing and just roll with it.
“Okay, you're right. Anon is a hero. Now get out of there, we should head back to the hotel room before somepony actually does figure us out.”
>As you step towards the casino, Pinkienon places a hand on your shoulder.
>”Orrrrr, and hear me out on this, we split up. You can go gamble for yourself while I gamble as Nonny! That way everyone has fun!”
>It would be nice to have some time to yourself at the tables...
“All right, but do NOT leave this building. Am I clear?”
>Pinkie giggles, having Anon salute you.
>”Clear as clear skies on a clear day!”
>With that, Anon's body is off to go gamble some of his many many many many bits away.
>What harm can Pinkie do inside the building anyways?


>Stretching your hooves, you stand up and collect your winnings.
>You have to admit, Dash was right.
>Las Pegasus is a great place to relax.
>Time to make another trip to the cashing station.
>As you carry your tokens, you overhear some gossip.
>”Did you see that thing kick those douchebags' asses? Oh sweet Celestia, he was so brave! What did he say he was again?”
>”I think he said he was a human. If only the stallions around here were half as gallant as he was.”
>Stopping in your tracks, your lip twitches as you look for the gossipers.
>Two mares are walking across from you, towards the slots.
>You rush towards them, chuckling a bit.
“Hi! Ladies, what was that about a human?”
>They look to you, as if you were missing something very important.
>”Yeah, there was this human down at this bar who totally saved these mares from getting taken advantage of.”
>Oh, Pinkie did NOT just kidnap Anon.
“Um, where is this bar at?”
>”Down on fourth and main. The rusty horseshoe I think.”
>Handing them a hoofful of chips each, you thank them and go cash out before rushing out of the building.
“PINKIE PIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

-------------------
Pinkie's view
-------------------

>Pulling on the lever, you wait for the bell to ring.
>*Ding ding ding ding ding!*
“Whoo hoo!”
>Bits start to pour out of the machine, onto Nonny's lap.
>It was unfair how good you were at slots!
>Maybe it had something to do with your Pinkie sense and knowing which machines paid out the most.
>Maybe not.
>Doesn't matter, all that mattered was that you were having fun.
>And you were having all sorts of fun!
>Winning lots of bits, playing with Nonny for the first time in a long time, AND you got to show off your Nonny impression!
>This was a great day.
>Taking a peek over at Twilight, she seems to be raking it in.
>Good for her, you knew she would like Las Pegasus.
>A few giggles come from beside you.
>Turning to them, you see some mares smiling and looking at Nonny.
>”H-Hi.”
“Hi there!”
>Wait!
>That's not how Nonny would talk.
“*Kmph* I mean, hey.”
>They giggle some more, playing around with their manes.
>”We saw you give that speech. We'd just like to say that we totes agree with you and we were wondering if we could buy you a drink or two. We know this awesome bar not too far from here. Whaddya say hun?”
>Hmmm, Twilight said not to leave the building.
>... BUUUUT it would be AWFULLY suspicious if Nonny didn't take them up on their offer.
>That settles that, you have Nonny nod and put his bits into his pockets.
“I'd love to join you all for some drinks.”
>They squeal and take spots next to you, leading Nonny out of the casino.
>You'll be quick, just a drink or two and right back to the hotel room!
>Twilight won't even notice you two are gone.


>”Hee, wow! How many drinks is that?”
>Setting the mug down, you try your best to imitate Anon's laugh.
“Oh, I'd say six or seven now.”
>The group of mares have been really nice!
>They've made an awful lotta passes at Nonny, but you made it clear that Nonny isn't interested.
>You wouldn't want him waking up and finding out you accidentally set him up in a relationship.
>That'd be awkward!
>The bartender slides down another drink.
>As you are about to get Nonny to down the mug, one of the mares excuses herself to use the little fillies room.
>”So, like, are you SURE you wouldn't like to spend the weekend hanging out with us? We'd REALLY like having you around.”
>Once the last drop is down Nonny's throat, you put the mug down and look to the mare, making sure his shades don't fall off.
“Ladies, I'd love to, really I would. But I'm already here with a group of mares and I'm sure they'd miss me if I went missing.”
>They all *Awwww* in unison, some even pout.
>”Oh, poo. Well, let's enjoy ourselves while we can then!”
>They order up another round of drinks and each take their fruity little things in small doses.
>Pfft!
>Nonny is a MAN!
>He wouldn't like that stuff anyways.
>Huh, can Nonny drink while he's in a coma?
>Eh, you'll empty him out later.
>A grunt and yelp catch your attention as you are about to excuse Nonny.
>”I said back off!”
>The mare who left to use the bathroom is being bullied by some stallions.
>”Come ooon baby, you know you want some fun.”
>One of the stallions smacks her across the flanks, causing her to squeal and get backed into a corner.
>Her friends rush to try and help, but are held back by the jerk's friends.
>You should get the police!
>Just as you get Nonny to stand, you realize something...
>Nonny wouldn't get the cops.
>No, he would handle the situation himself!
>Because that's what a hero does.
>Cracking your bestest buddy's knuckles, you have him walk to the stallions.
“Excuse me, but I think the lady would like to be left alone.”
>The stallions growl, allowing their friend to continue to harass the poor mare.
>”Hey, buddy, stay out of this. This ain't none of your business.”
>Hmmm, think of something witty to say, something badass that Nonny would approve of.
“Well I'm making it my business.”
>Hell yeah!
>You KNOW Nonny would have liked that one.
>As the stallions turn to you, they push the mares to the sides and surround Nonny.
>Uh oh, looks like they want a fight.
>Good thing you've seen Nonny fight before!
>You have all of his moves practically memorized.
>As one of the stallions rush, you give him a frowny kick!
>It sends him flying into the bar, crashing against the counter.
>Another one tries to get Nonny from behind.
>Dizzy flip!
>You think you heard his back crack against the floor.
>Probably did, considering how he is gasping and his eyes are as wide as two cueballs.
>The last two rush your amigo's sides.
>Spinny kick!
>Sure, Nonny is doing the splits right now, but it did send both of them into the walls.
>The only one that is left is the jerk who was harassing the mare.
>He looks at you, eyes gawking at each of his friends.
>Standing Nonny up and getting him riiiight in front of him, you make your human pal grab the stallion by his neck.
“The lady said to back off.”
>Window toss!
>With all the jerks taken care off, the mares squeal and rush Nonny.
>Hugging him and kissing all over.
>You make Nonny chuckle, petting their heads.
>Silly Twilight, thinking Nonny isn't a hero.
>The bartender is glaring at you.
>”God damn drunkard! I'm calling the cops!”
>Wait, but Nonny just saved the mare!
>Why is he calling the cops on the good guy?
>You don't have time to think on it as the mares push you towards the door.
>”Go go go!”
>”We'll never forget you!
>”Call me!
>”Me too!”
>Waving back to the ladies, you run up the street.
>Welp, guess some heroes just aren't appreciated!


>You and Nonny have been walking around Las Pegasus for a while now, and it has been fun!
>The two of you saw lots of neat ponies doing strange things.
>Like sword swallowing, and flashing their crotchboobs for beads, and wrestling bears.
>Well...
>YOU saw, but you'll tell Nonny later!
>You're sure he'll love it.
>As you round a corner, you see a pie eating contest.
>”Step right up, step right up! Compete in a battle of the guts! See if you have the mettle to come out on top and win a lifetime supply of food from Basilio's baked goods! Remember, if it isn't Basilio's, it's garbage!”
>Lifetime supply of free sweets?!
>You can't raise Nonny's hand fast enough!
“I'll take the challenge!
>It only takes you a couple minutes to get Nonny entered.
>They put a bib with a number around his neck.
>Number 13.
>You feel lucky with that number!
>The announcer is pacing the stage, looking at you and the other pony contestants.
>”The rules are simple; first one to finish their twenty pies, wins! No throwing up, you have to eat the whole pie, and have fun!”
>Don't worry Mr. Announcer stallion, you and Nonny will!
>”On your mark...”
>You place the first pie in front of Nonny.
>”Get seeeeeeet...”
>Oooh, this is going to be so much fun!”
>”GO!”
>As you have Nonny chomp down on pies, forcing them down his mouth, you can't help but feel the competition is heated!
>Only the greatest one will win.
>The one with an appetite that is-
>”W-We have a winner!”
>Wait, what?
>”Number thirteen! T-That was amazing! You were eating WHOLE pies! How did you do that?!”
>Wait, you and Nonny won?!
>Whoo hoo!
>Having Nonny jump, you can't help but feel the weight of the pies in his tummy jump with.
“It was nothing sir! I was just REALLY hungry!”
>Looking to the side, you can see that the closest pony was on his third pie.
>Weak!
>As the announcer steps in front of you, he shakes Nonny's hand with such admiration.
>”Sir, you have earned this lifetime supply of free baked goods! That was the finest display of competitive eating I have seen since our old champ Iron Will was around! That is, until, he retired and got into the motivational speaking biz.”
>Boos and jeers fill the street.
“Wow, what a quitter!”
>”I know, right?! Anyway, just fill out this card and we will have your first shipment of goods out by next week!”
>Ahhh, Nonny is going to love this.
>Even if his body is all rumbly and grumbly right now.


>”*bluuuuurghhhhck*”
>Whimpering, you continue to hold Nonny upside down; watching as whole pies and a lot of alcohol come spewing out of his body.
>Looks like Nonny can't eat or drink while he isn't awake.
>Who knew?
>”*n-N-NBLUUUUUUUUUURGHKKKCK!*”
>He just threw up a lot, landing on the alley's floor.
>A stallion walks by as you finish getting the stuff out of Nonny's stomach.
>He looks to you, then Nonny.
“H-Heheh, couldn't handle his drinks, you know?”
>He simply nods, looking in astonishment as Nonny continues to spew.
>After a couple more minutes, he just walks off; a look of disgust and wonder on his face.
>Phew, looks like Nonny is finishing.
>Sitting your friend away from the icky vomit, you crawl down his back and get back into position.
“Don't worry Nonny, I'm sure all those super good sweets will make you feel better!”
>You make him smile and nod.
“See? I knew you would think so!”
>Standing up, you walk out of the alley, looking for some water or something to clean your friend's mouth.
>As you find a nearby restaurant, you hear a tiny whistle like noise.
>You listen in and the whistle is getting closer, almost like a voice.
>”... ieeeeeeee.”
>Ieeeeee?
>What is an Ieeeeee?
>”...Nkie Pieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!...”
>Huh, Inkie Pie?
>Your sister is here?
>Why didn't she tell you?
>”PINKIE PIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”
>Oh!
>Pinkie Pie!
>That makes MUCH more sense!
>Wait, who's calling your name?
>”PINKIE PIEEEEEEEEEEE!”
>You and Nonny get tackled to the ground.
>Whoa, that is one angry red and white Unicorn.
>Oh, wait, it's just Twilight! 
>And she's on fire again.
>”WHAT HAPPENED TO STAYING IN THE CASINO?!”
>You giggle, stroking Twilight's cheek.
“Relaaax Twilight. Nonny got invited to get some drinks by some nice mares. How could I say no?”
>Her neck snaps upward, steam spewing from her ears.
>Ohhh, that was the whistling noise!
>Everything is finally making sense.
>”You got into a bar fight! The cops are looking for Anon, do you understand that?!”
>You make Nonny *harumph*.
“Well they were the ones who started it! Harassing a poor mare like that. How could Nonny just stand by and let them?”
>”You fractured three of their spines!”
“So? Not like they'll need new ones.”
>”You caused thousands in property damage!”
“Nonny has more than that, PLUS, free rooms, right?”
>Twilight lets out a loud yell and finally turns purple again.
>She pants and glares, groaning as she raises her front hooves towards Nonny's head.
>After a few minutes of heavy breathing and her hooves shaking, she finally calms down.
>She climbs off you, a hoof resting against her face.
>You stand up and smile.
“See? I know what I'm doing.”
>”Ju-Just wait in this restaurant. I need to go get the others.”
“Okie-”
>She snaps her hoof towards Nonny, pointing at his face.
“ANON IS NOT ALLOWED TO LEAVE THIS RESTAURANT WITHOUT THE REST OF US HERE, UNDERSTOOD?!”
>Oooh, she is still real mad.
“Okie dokie lokie!”
>”Pinkie promise!”
>Whoa, she is super serious right now.
“Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!”
>Satisfied, the purple mare nods and turns away from you.
>As Twilight stomps off, you step inside.
>A sad looking waitress is waiting near the door.
>”Welcome... how many in your party?”
“Just one for now.”
>She nods, frowning as she leads you to a booth.
>”My name is Trish, I'll be your waitress this afternoon.”
>She leaves you a menu and sighs.
>”I'll be back soon to take your order.”
>Aw, she must be going through something.
>You would help...
>But you promised Twilight that Nonny would stay in the restaurant.
>What if her problem needs to make you leave it?
>Nopony breaks a Pinkie Promise!
>Awww, now you're sad.
>And Nonny's mouth still stinks.
>Getting Nonny up, you take him to the bathrooms.
>... Do you go in the stallions or mares room?


>After some debate, you decided to take Nonny in the stallion's room since you were going in for him!
>If you ever need to go in for you, then the mare's room is where you'll be!
>With a clean mouth, you head back to the booth.
>The mare arrives, pen and paper ready to order.
>”Can I get you something to drink?”
“Just some water please!”
>You don't think you could empty Nonny out if he has to throw up again.
>She nods and wipes her eyes.
>Ooooh, you REALLY want to help her.
>Before you can pout more, cheers and clapping fill your ears.
>”Good afternoon Las Pegasus! Welcome to a special live shooting of... COOOOOOOOOOOLT CAAAAAAAKES!”
>What?!
>”Thank you all for showing up; we know you all are here for one thing. To see amazing cakes be made before your eyes!”
>The show is already starting?
>Here?!
>Oh no, no no no!
>YOUR TICKET!
>Checking Nonny's pockets, you see that it right here!
>Along with your Colt Cakes shirt, cap, and autograph book.
>For a second there, you thought you left them in the hotel room!
>Hopping out of Nonny's shirt, you put everything on and get ready to rush for the cheers and find the show.
>Wait, if you do that, Nonny will be all alone!
>You look to Nonny, then the cheers.
>Continuing to shift your gaze, you start to whimper.
“Nnnnnnn, nghhhhhhhhh!”
>Cakes or friend?
>CAKES OR FRIEND?!
>”Oh, what's this? Holy cow folks, I don't believe this! It looks like our gracious hosts are going to attempt to make a twenty foot cake!”
>Groaning, you slump and look towards the direction the cheers are coming from.
“Oh, come ON!”
>Looks like you have no choice now.
“I'm sorry Nonny!”
>Leaving a peck on his cheek, you position him in a way that doesn't look boring or suspicious.
>As he leans over the table, hands connected and head occasionally bobbing; you rush for the show.
>Where is it, where is it?!
>Found it!
>Flashing your ticket and rushing inside, you find a front row seat.
>Hundreds of other ponies are seated around you, all amazed and hooting.
>You soon join them, watching as the batter gets made.
>”Looks like they are starting to finish the first layers folks. Who wants to lick the bowls?!”
>Hooves from all over the room shoot up, including your own.
“Me, ME!”
>Filly Mays looks around, hand stroking his fuzzy beard as he smiles.
>”How abouuuut... you!”
>His hoof is pointing to you!
>Squealing, you trot up stage next to him and cake baking legends; Emerald Lasagna, Frosting Fillman, and Blueberry Doughboy!
>Emerald started off doing what his name said, making lasagna.
>However, he noticed he had talent for layers, ALL layers.
>Frosting makes the BEST frosting in the world!
>And Doughboy knows how to make perfect cakes!
>Together, they are the hosts of Colt Cakes!
>”Tell me miss, what is your name?”
“P-Pinkie Pie!”
>”And what do you do Pinkie Pie?”
“I-I-I bake cakes for Sugarcube Corner!”
>The room is filled with cheers.
>Even the chefs are nodding, clapping along with!
>”Well now, looks like I picked the right mare! One who can truly appreciate what we do. Now how about we let you get the first taste of this cake?!”
>You yell, hugging Filly Mays as you wait for the pans to be brought to you.
>This is the best day ever!


>Oh sweet Celestia.
>This was so worth every bit you spent.
>Lots of yummy cake batter AND they were able to add five feet to the cake!
>So much frosting, so much sugar.
>Hopefully Nonny and Twilight can forgive you.
>Waddling back to the booth you left Nonny at, you see the waitress.
>She has a wide smile and is blissfully playing with her mane.
>Looks like she was able to deal with her problem
>Good for her!
>Arriving at the booth, you see it's empty.
>...
>You close your eyes and open them again.
>Still empty.
>Stuttering, you waddle back to the mare.
“E-Excuse me, I was supposed to meet my bestest buddy Nonny here. He was wearing shades and a nice suit. Did you see him?”
>She giggles, shaking her head.
>”Yeees, I did. He stayed for a bit before his rainbow maned friend came and picked him up.”
>W-Wait, what happened?
>”Oooh he is such a good listener! And so... exotic tasting. Um, do you happen to know if he is single?”
>Oh no...
>Twilight is going to be sooooo mad.

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