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[FR] Day Spankety

By: That_Happy_Guy on Aug 6th, 2013 | syntax: None | size: 6.61 KB | hits: 50 | expires: Never

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>Day Spankety in Equestria.
>You are Anon
>The only human in a land filled with colorful ponies.
>Sounds pleasant, right?
>It would be, except one of them has been allowed to stalk and sexually harass you.
>*Knock knock knock*
>You know the routine and you won't be putting up with this shit today.
>Ignoring the visitor, you head to your kitchen to make a sammich.
>The knocking continues.
>Continue to drown it out with thoughts of a delicious sandwich.
>Your visitor is now wailing on your door, an unrelenting beating of hoof against wood.
>It is becoming very hard to ignore this rude bitch's assault on your innocent door.
>After another minute of enduring this bull shit, you finally answer the door.
“WHAT?!”
>A chubby and short blonde boy with the most hideous bowl cut is at your front door.
>”Hey! Listen to what I've got to say! I was told by the local police that you are the only other human in this world. They were getting ready to arrest me when they saw my army of Pigmasks, but left to deal with the local ruffians. Anyway, I am here to offer you the chance to become my bestest friend and not die a horrible death like your yellow friend over there.”
>Is this knickerbocker wearing kid serious?
“Kid, I've got about a dozen years on you and don't assault doors for no god damn reason... wait, did you say army of Pigmasks?”
>You look around and there are over a dozen stubby men wearing Pigmasks surrounding your house.
>”I am over a thousand years old you ignorant fool!”
>Oh god...
“Yellow friend?”
>The boy points upwards where a giant floating pigmech is holding Fluttershy hostage in it's mechanical claws.
>”A-Anon? Is creating a dimensional hole and freeing a maniacal child tyrant from an absolutely-safe-ball your fetish?”
>The boy growls and looks to the yellow prisoner.
>”It's capsule you stupid horse, now are you going to be my bestest friend or suffer the same fate as these stupid horses?”
>... Your going to need to weigh your options here.
>Side with Porky and have to deal with his obnoxious voice for the rest of your natural born life.
>Save Equestria and have to deal with Fluttershy's annoying attempts to bed you for the rest of your natural born life.
>A lose-lose situation.
“So, mind if I ask you a question Porky?”
>”Depends on the question peasant.”
“I thought you were crippled and couldn't move without machines, what happened?”
>He snorts and pulls his head off, revealing it's just a robot.
>”I'm in the robot holding the horse, like I would come talk to you face to face. What are you, stupid? Spankety spankety spankety!”
>Yep, that made up your mind.
“Tell me, do you think you could handle a bunch of magical horses shooting at you?”
>”I can in my absolutely-safe-capsule!”
“Mhmm, a capsule Fluttershy destroyed.”
>”... Oh.”
>The Pigmasks look to each other while letting out fearful oinks.
“You guys might want to run. They allow murder here and aren't too fond of invaders. Just ask the Pinkie army.”
>One of the Pigmasks raises his hand.
>”W-What happened to the Pinkie army?”
“Genocide. Dead, each and every one of them. Shot down in cold blood. No. Mercy.”
>Exaggeration is a beautiful thing.
>Many of the men start to shake and back away.
>”Hi Anon.”
>The entirety of the army runs away squealing like actual pigs as Twilight walks to your house.
>”Who were those... people?”
“Just some guys. Twilight, can you shoot down that robot thing for me? Thanks.”
>”What? You think some little pissant horsey can take down my Natural Killer Cyborg 2.0?! Ha! That's the st-”
>The pissed off unicorn rips a hole through the bot and it comes crashing to the ground, crushing the cyborg,
>”CALL ME A PISSANT AGAIN YOU SNOT NOSED BRAT!”
>The pigbot releases Fluttershy as it's top opens up. A glass and metal tube is being raised with Porky inside.
>”Oh, way to go! It took me two minutes to order my Pigmask army to make this! And where is that army? I don't know, because the purple pissant horse sca-”
>Twilight shoots another blast at Porky, detaching his tube from the mech.
>Leaving the mech unmanned...
>With all of it's weapons untouched...
>Your logic is yelling at you not too, but your inner sadist is screaming yes!
“Hey Porky, is spanking your fetish?”
>”What? No! How could you even assume a thing you peasant?”
>A hop, skip, and jump is all it takes for you to get on the mech.
>You grab the controls and let your instincts take control.
>In mere moments you have full control of the claws and pull Porky out of the tube.
“Spankety spankety you little fuckwad!”
>You bring the free claw down to smack the child like body's rear.
>*KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*
>A practical explosion of wind throws you back and off the mech.
>You land on your stomach and hold yourself to the ground as the air keeps coming.
>Once it stops you take a look to Porky.
>What remains of him anyway.
>In his spot is a skeleton, completely stripped of skin and organs.
>Fluttershy goes next to the skeleton and pokes it, causing it to disassemble and fall to the ground.
>”A-Are skeletons your fetish Anon?”
>Fucking Fluttershy.
>Day Pig hunt in Equestria.
>It's been several months since Porky tried to invade Equestria... and died.
“Rest in peace fuck nugget.”
>The little brat may be dead, but his army is still around.
>They aren't invading or anything, but they are a nuisance.
>Stealing pies from windows, peeping in on mares when they shower, peeing in public, that kind of shit.
>Thanks to the efforts of you and Twilight, a solution has been found.
>About three dozen ponies and yourself are dressed in hunting gear, carrying sticks and nets as Mayor Mare prepares to give a speech.
>”My fellow citizens of Ponyville. It is my honor to announce that the third bi-weekly pig hunt is now... open!”
>The air is filled with the battle cries of the group as you all rush for the everfree forest to round up and capture as many Pigmasks to be sent to Canterlot before the day is over.
>It's worked so far, at the very least scared some to the neighboring kingdoms.
>”There's one!”
>You all charge the fleeing Pigmask as he tries to steal a foals sucker.
>As it looks like he is about to escape; Fluttershy tackles him and starts to beat the ever living shit out of him.
>”Oh god, somebody help me! Please! Ahhhh!”
>Your group stops in front of the ass whooping going down.
>Fluttershy is relentless, leaving the man a bloody pile of pink and red.
>”Uhhhm good job Fluttershy?”
>She pants and gets off the man, walking next to you.
>”Thanks. Is pig hunting your fetish Anon?”
>Fucking Fluttershy.

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>Day Spankety in Equestria.
>You are Anon
>The only human in a land filled with colorful ponies.
>Sounds pleasant, right?
>It would be, except one of them has been allowed to stalk and sexually harass you.
>*Knock knock knock*
>You know the routine and you won't be putting up with this shit today.
>Ignoring the visitor, you head to your kitchen to make a sammich.
>The knocking continues.
>Continue to drown it out with thoughts of a delicious sandwich.
>Your visitor is now wailing on your door, an unrelenting beating of hoof against wood.
>It is becoming very hard to ignore this rude bitch's assault on your innocent door.
>After another minute of enduring this bull shit, you finally answer the door.
“WHAT?!”
>A chubby and short blonde boy with the most hideous bowl cut is at your front door.
>”Hey! Listen to what I've got to say! I was told by the local police that you are the only other human in this world. They were getting ready to arrest me when they saw my army of Pigmasks, but left to deal with the local ruffians. Anyway, I am here to offer you the chance to become my bestest friend and not die a horrible death like your yellow friend over there.”
>Is this knickerbocker wearing kid serious?
“Kid, I've got about a dozen years on you and don't assault doors for no god damn reason... wait, did you say army of Pigmasks?”
>You look around and there are over a dozen stubby men wearing Pigmasks surrounding your house.
>”I am over a thousand years old you ignorant fool!”
>Oh god...
“Yellow friend?”
>The boy points upwards where a giant floating pigmech is holding Fluttershy hostage in it's mechanical claws.
>”A-Anon? Is creating a dimensional hole and freeing a maniacal child tyrant from an absolutely-safe-ball your fetish?”
>The boy growls and looks to the yellow prisoner.
>”It's capsule you stupid horse, now are you going to be my bestest friend or suffer the same fate as these stupid horses?”
>... Your going to need to weigh your options here.
>Side with Porky and have to deal with his obnoxious voice for the rest of your natural born life.
>Save Equestria and have to deal with Fluttershy's annoying attempts to bed you for the rest of your natural born life.
>A lose-lose situation.
“So, mind if I ask you a question Porky?”
>”Depends on the question peasant.”
“I thought you were crippled and couldn't move without machines, what happened?”
>He snorts and pulls his head off, revealing it's just a robot.
>”I'm in the robot holding the horse, like I would come talk to you face to face. What are you, stupid? Spankety spankety spankety!”
>Yep, that made up your mind.
“Tell me, do you think you could handle a bunch of magical horses shooting at you?”
>”I can in my absolutely-safe-capsule!”
“Mhmm, a capsule Fluttershy destroyed.”
>”... Oh.”
>The Pigmasks look to each other while letting out fearful oinks.
“You guys might want to run. They allow murder here and aren't too fond of invaders. Just ask the Pinkie army.”
>One of the Pigmasks raises his hand.
>”W-What happened to the Pinkie army?”
“Genocide. Dead, each and every one of them. Shot down in cold blood. No. Mercy.”
>Exaggeration is a beautiful thing.
>Many of the men start to shake and back away.
>”Hi Anon.”
>The entirety of the army runs away squealing like actual pigs as Twilight walks to your house.
>”Who were those... people?”
“Just some guys. Twilight, can you shoot down that robot thing for me? Thanks.”
>”What? You think some little pissant horsey can take down my Natural Killer Cyborg 2.0?! Ha! That's the st-”
>The pissed off unicorn rips a hole through the bot and it comes crashing to the ground, crushing the cyborg,
>”CALL ME A PISSANT AGAIN YOU SNOT NOSED BRAT!”
>The pigbot releases Fluttershy as it's top opens up. A glass and metal tube is being raised with Porky inside.
>”Oh, way to go! It took me two minutes to order my Pigmask army to make this! And where is that army? I don't know, because the purple pissant horse sca-”
>Twilight shoots another blast at Porky, detaching his tube from the mech.
>Leaving the mech unmanned...
>With all of it's weapons untouched...
>Your logic is yelling at you not too, but your inner sadist is screaming yes!
“Hey Porky, is spanking your fetish?”
>”What? No! How could you even assume a thing you peasant?”
>A hop, skip, and jump is all it takes for you to get on the mech.
>You grab the controls and let your instincts take control.
>In mere moments you have full control of the claws and pull Porky out of the tube.
“Spankety spankety you little fuckwad!”
>You bring the free claw down to smack the child like body's rear.
>*KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*
>A practical explosion of wind throws you back and off the mech.
>You land on your stomach and hold yourself to the ground as the air keeps coming.
>Once it stops you take a look to Porky.
>What remains of him anyway.
>In his spot is a skeleton, completely stripped of skin and organs.
>Fluttershy goes next to the skeleton and pokes it, causing it to disassemble and fall to the ground.
>”A-Are skeletons your fetish Anon?”
>Fucking Fluttershy.


>Day Pig hunt in Equestria.
>It's been several months since Porky tried to invade Equestria... and died.
“Rest in peace fuck nugget.”
>The little brat may be dead, but his army is still around.
>They aren't invading or anything, but they are a nuisance.
>Stealing pies from windows, peeping in on mares when they shower, peeing in public, that kind of shit.
>Thanks to the efforts of you and Twilight, a solution has been found.
>About three dozen ponies and yourself are dressed in hunting gear, carrying sticks and nets as Mayor Mare prepares to give a speech.
>”My fellow citizens of Ponyville. It is my honor to announce that the third bi-weekly pig hunt is now... open!”
>The air is filled with the battle cries of the group as you all rush for the everfree forest to round up and capture as many Pigmasks to be sent to Canterlot before the day is over.
>It's worked so far, at the very least scared some to the neighboring kingdoms.
>”There's one!”
>You all charge the fleeing Pigmask as he tries to steal a foals sucker.
>As it looks like he is about to escape; Fluttershy tackles him and starts to beat the ever living shit out of him.
>”Oh god, somebody help me! Please! Ahhhh!”
>Your group stops in front of the ass whooping going down.
>Fluttershy is relentless, leaving the man a bloody pile of pink and red.
>”Uhhhm good job Fluttershy?”
>She pants and gets off the man, walking next to you.
>”Thanks. Is pig hunting your fetish Anon?”
>Fucking Fluttershy.

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