[FR] Day My Muffin

>Day Muffin in Equestria

“Hmmm, should I bring the jacket?”

>Looking yourself over once, it would probably be best to bring it for what Big Mac has planned.

>He recently bought a helicopter and wants you to take a ride with him on it's maiden flight.

>You two were bros like that.

>Not in the gay way...

>A little in the gay way.

>Just the tip in the gay way.

>... You'd fuck Big Mac.

>Grab the jacket and head out the door.

>”Hey Muffin~”

>Turn to see Derpy looking at you, eyes half lidded as she tries to fix her gaze on you.

“Oh, hey Derpy.”

>Try to walk off so you won't be late for your ride.

>”Where are you off to in such a hurry?”

“I'm going on a trip with Big Mac and I'm running a tad behind schedule.

>The mare gasps and holds you back.

>”If you want, I could give you a ride on my vespa!”

>She has a vespa?

>A quick look behind her shows she does indeed have one.

>It's an ugly shade of yellow, but she has one.

“That'd be great Derpy, thanks!”

>She's always been a bit affectionate towards you.

>By a bit, you mean a lot.

>Monster truck sized affection.

>”Anytime my Muffin~”

>Also, she always calls you muffin.

“Right... So, ride?”

>She licks her lips and puts on a helmet.

>You hop on the back of it and she is off.

 

 

>As she pulls up behind Sweet Apple Acres, you release your vie like grip on her stomach.

>Your entire body is shaking in fear.

>How is it possible to drive that horrid and still survive?!

>”So, Muffin, mind if I join you?”

“I-I would ha-have to ask Big Mac.”

>You steps are shaky as you make your way to the copter nearby.

>The red stallion watches you as you close in, wearing a thick pair of black shades.

>”Ya all right Anon?”

“F-Fiiiine. Just fiiine... can Derpy come on the ride with us?”

>Big Mac looks over his shoulder.

>”Eeenope. No room.”

>Derpy's ears lay flat against her head as she looks up at you.

>”I-I can follow you on my vespa Muffin.”

>What a foolish suggestion.

>Step into the copter and Big Mac starts it up.

>”M-Muffin! Wait! Wait for me Muffin!”

>Sigh as your pal brings the vehicle into the air.

>The calm is destroyed in mere seconds as a loud boom comes from behind the heli.

“Fuck! Was that us?!”

>Big Mac is shaken as well, looking at the gauges in front of him.

>”Eeenope!”

>”Muffin!

>Derpy is driving underneath you two, a weird plastic looking cylinder in her hands.

“Did her vespa backfire or something?”

>Big Mac shrugs as he continues to fly, flipping the radio on.

>Lou Rawl's 'You'll never find another love like mine' is playing.

“Pfft, this is kind of appropriate, huh?”

>Bro Mac chuckles and nods.

>”Eeyup.”

>”Muffin! Wait Muffin!”

>Derpy is still tailing you two, somehow keeping up.

>”Heh, want your girlfriend up in here?”

“Pfft, she's not my-”

>*BOOM*

>Another explosion catches your attention.

>You look down and see Derpy's cylinder is actually a rocket launcher.

>”Muffin?”

“OH GOD! She's gonna blow us up!”

>Big Mac's red coat goes pale as he tries to get out of her sight.

>Too late.

>Another explosion has you two going down.

>You two scream as the ground fast approaches.

“BAIL!”

>Reaching for your seatbelt, you undo it then jump.

>Water surrounds you as you land in a lake.

>*KABOOOOOM*

>Big Mac's copter hits the ground seconds after you do, but the stallion is nowhere to be seen.

“B-Big Mac! Are you there?!”

>You scan the wreckage for  your bro, nowhere to be found.

>Wait! There he is!

>He's still pale though... and on his hind legs... wait, his hind legs are gone, replaced by a weird tail.

>Oh god he's a ghost.

“Big Mac, are you a ghost?”

>”Eeeyup.”

>So that's what happens to ponies when they die, instant ghost.

>”Muffin?”

“Oh fuck!”

>You hide behind a tree as Ghost Mac floats off in the opposite direction.

>”No wait for me Muffin, why?!”

“Oh god...”

>Big ghost calls out to you.

>”Is that Rainbow Dash?”

>Looking up, you see the rainbow maned mare.

>”Oh buck! What happened?!”

“Stay away! Derpy is crazy!”

>She lands next to ghost ghost, staring at the wreckage and crossing her hooves.

>”It was Derpy, she lost her marbles.”

>”Yeah, that's what they all say, it's always Derpy. Why won't you all just accept that the skies are for Pegasi?”

>”He didn't wait for me Muffin.”

“Crazy horse, she's coming for me.”

>”What are you doing over there Muffin?”

>Derpy is looking at you through her launcher, trying to get a good view of you.

“Gah!”

>You pull yourself back behind the tree.

>There is a whoosh followed by a gasp.

>”Oops!”

>*BOOM*

>The entire world is red for a second before you pop up next to Big Mac.

>Also a ghost.

“She saw me.”

>Mac and Dash look at you, jaws hitting the floor.

>”Okay, maybe it was Derpy.”

>Another explosion happens nearby.

>Derpy pops up next to you as a ghost.

>”Muffin!”

>She clings to ghost you, cuddling you.

“I never should have given you that muffin...”

>Fucking Derpy.

 

 

[DEATH ENDING]

“Gah! Fucking dammit!”

>You put on your shoes and zap yourself to a crash site.

>There it is, a dead red stallion.

>One quick touch while time is frozen and it is now one pony ghost.

>Zap back home and sigh.

>Take off your shoes and go to your fridge to grab a glass of juice.

>The alarm goes off again.

“Fucking hell!”

>Put your shoes back on and zap to where some monkey thing is about to be blown to bits.

>Touch, monkey ghost, home.

>Pour your glass.

>Alarm.

“Can't I have five minutes to myself?!”

>Zap to where a grey Pegasus is about to blow herself up.

>Smack the bitch across the face; ghostified.

>Zap home and angrily pull out your soul book.

“Let's see... Derpy! Derpy Hooves! You like interrupting my me time? Well let's see how you like fifty thousand years of hell. Once that royal whore's deal with me is up, you are going to get it!”

>Angrily grab your glass and head to your recliner.

>Turn on the TV to enjoy your favorite show now that the alarm isn't going off.

>”You got it dude!”

>Heh, fucking Michelle Tanner.