Title:           [FR] Day Alternative Methods
Author:          That_Happy_Guy
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/FW1ABaJE
First Edit:      Wednesday 23rd of July 2014 10:48:42 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Wednesday 23rd of July 2014 10:48:42 PM CDT

>Day Alternative Methods in Equestria
>As a knock come from your door, you set down your ladle, letting the soup continue to simmer.
>You take a quick peek at the clock, seeing that it's barely six thirty.
>Heading to the door, you open it and see an ecstatic pink maned Pegasus.
>She walks in, not even waiting for you to move.
"You know I was going to let you in, right?"
>She giggles.
>"I-I know, but I'm so used to having to force my way in, sorry."
>Sighing, you close the door.
"You're half an hour early."
>Fluttershy looks to you, doe eyed.
>"I know, but I was so excited I just couldn't wait!"
>You give no expression, remaining as plain as possible.
"Well, guess it doesn't matter. Dinner's done anyway."
>Heading into the kitchen, Flutters follows, sighing like a content schoolgirl.
>"A stallion who can cook... I'm so lucky~"
>You just hum, turning the flame off.
>As you pull out two bowls, Fluttershy takes a seat at your table, sniffing the forks.
>"Ohhh, they smile like you~"
>You internally cringe, but don;t give an inch with your emotional block.
>"Anon... thank you sooo much for asking me out! I was getting tired of having to think of new ways to get to you."
>Filling the two bowls up, you don't even look to the mare.
"Oh, really? What would you have tried next?"
>She giggles.
>"Oh, just some grade A sedatives. Nothing special."
>Nodding to yourself, you dim the lights, setting her bowl in front of her.
>She gasps, smiling softly.
>"You're such a gentlecolt."
>Normally, you would tell her that you are not a horse, but she won't be staying long.
"Dig in, I made it especially for you."
>Once again, the mare giggles.
>"Oh Anon, it's much to hot for me."
>You were hoping she would say that.
>Walking to the mare, you take her spoon and dip it into the soup, avoiding the special ingredient.
>You blow on it, cooling it as she watches you, eyelids fluttering.
>Bringing the spoon to her mouth, she opens it and eagerly accepts it.
>She lets off a soft moan, savoring the soup.
>"O-Ohhh my, it's so good! What flavor is it?"
>You keep your emotionless face on as you dip it back in, pulling on the special ingredient.
"Rabbit."
>Her doe eyed expression drops to one of worried shock.
>"... W-What?"
>Lifting the spoon, you show her the meat.
"Mhmm, my favorite. Tell me, when was the last time you saw Angel?"
>Fluttershy jumps back from her seat, gasping and crawling backwards on the ground.
>"Y-You didn't."
>Sitting at her place, you take the spoon in your mouth, slowly chewing.
"Didn't I?"
>Her eyes begin to water.
>She reaches a hoof up to her mouth before vomiting on your floor.
>After a few minutes of dry heaving and crying, she looks to you.
>"You're a monster!"
>You take another spoon, repeating the slow chewing.
"I'm just me."
>She cries more openly, running for your door.
>"Angel, noooooooooo!"
>She slams it open, running home.
>Once she is out of sigh, you start to snort, growing into a full on laugh.
>Hitting your table a couple times, you try to whistle.
>When that fails, you just walk over to the cupboard and open it, having the rabbit jump out and onto your counter.
>You toss him a sack full of bits and he chuckles, opening it to count.
"Thanks for the help. Oh god, she was FREAKING out."
>He just nods, making rabbit noises.
"Man, what did you give me by the way? It was freaking tasty."
>He pulls out a bow, placing it on the counter.
"I don't understand."
>He looks from the bow to you twice before pointing out the window.
"... You're a stone cold mother fucker."
>He just shrugs, pulling out a derby cap before looking at the clock.
>As he does, he scratches his head.
"Huh? Oh, the next train to Los Pegasus leaves in twenty minutes."
>He shakes your hand, taking the bag that is nearly double his size and hopping away.
>Once he is gone, you go back to the table and continue to eat the soup.
"Psycho rabbit."