Story-Time with That one guy: My First (and last) Waxing

The Toglodyte

9:52 PM

 

night lumber

 

so i'll listen to it eventually

 

but for now...

 

gather round my duckies, and listen well, as I present:  Story Time with That One guy - My first (and last) waxing.

picklehead42

9:53 PM

 

I must follow in Lumbers footsteps. I have schooling tomorrow, and midnights my max

Tomorrow I can say "fuck bedtime!" and party forever

Lasagna

9:53 PM

 

HOW DID HE VOICE THAT

picklehead42

9:53 PM

 

I'll stay for TOG, but then I'm gone

The Toglodyte

9:54 PM

 

sweet

picklehead42

9:54 PM

 

I don't know Las

Baratone

9:54 PM

 

I don't know either

Theseus

9:54 PM

 

>Fill me like a balloon, big guy

picklehead42

9:54 PM

 

But show that to any producer and I'm sure you're hired

Theseus

9:54 PM

 

^fucking lel

picklehead42

9:55 PM

 

If you can voice that, you can voice anything

The Toglodyte

9:55 PM

 

Right then so I was going out with this girl, and this is late highschool, who's name shall be claire, and the two of us had this sort of FWb thing going in, only leaning more towards a couple than just fuckbuddies

picklehead42

9:55 PM

 

Well that seems boring

 

But continue

 

Companionship>sex can work

The Toglodyte

9:56 PM

 

So anyways, as I'm sure at least one other writefag does, I tend not to really keep things too neat downstairs.  I mean obv i bathed, i kept cleam and all that jazz, but i never really was willing to put anything that could potentially draw blood down there.

picklehead42

9:57 PM

 

>not using a Bowie knife

 

Pussy

Lasagna

9:57 PM

 

to be honest

Domino

9:57 PM

 

List is updated

http://pastebin.com/zpqW4fYc

Lasagna

9:57 PM

 

i really like your pinkie voice

Baratone

9:58 PM

 

Thank you Dom

Domino

9:58 PM

 

Bar, you forgot to mention who found it, ya bastard

Baratone

9:58 PM

 

Sorry....

Domino

9:59 PM

 

It's cool man.

The Toglodyte

9:59 PM

 

Well one day, Claire gets on my ass about how it's uncomfortable for her when she goes down on me, and how she'd really appreciate if i cleaned it up a bit.  Now i know what yall might be thinking, "fuck her, it's your ball fur, and you do with it waht you want"  but this bitch was really good at sucking my dick, lemme tell you.  She did this thing with her tongue, where she sorta managed to basically jerk me off in her mouth, with her tongue.  Was the wierdest and hotest shit ever.

Domino

9:59 PM

 

...go on...

The Toglodyte

9:59 PM

 

So i make a compromise, I tell her to find me a way to clean up without any blades, and we'll be cool.

picklehead42

9:59 PM

 

I'd say keep it neat, a forest just ain't cool. But keeping it bald is just weird

Domino

10:00 PM

 

>inb4 lighter

picklehead42

10:00 PM

 

She got that weird lotion that makes the hair fall off

 

Didn't she

Domino

10:00 PM

 

She burned it all off

The Toglodyte

10:00 PM

 

Obv this was before i knew anything at all about waxing, so when she told me she had gotten me an appointment for it at some salon place downtown, i just went along with it.

Domino

10:01 PM

 

Oh god no.

picklehead42

10:01 PM

 

Anus has reached maximum pucker

 

Cringe levels critical

 

Toes pointed skyward

 

Eyes squeezed shut so hard it makes a cool noise that I imagine space sounds like

 

Go on

Domino

10:03 PM

 

Oh Florida, you crazy

http://imgur.com/a/pRp3E

The Toglodyte

10:03 PM

 

We arrive at the place, around 5p, and this is spring, just before the onset of summer, so shit is hot, and the few people who are sitting here waiting, look absolutely miserable.  It doesn't ease my burgeoning anxiety to see them like this, so i just take a seat, grab a mag, and try to ignore the others as Claire goes over and gets all the appointment shit settled

Baratone

10:03 PM

 

Ii hope you guys enjoyed

Theseus

10:03 PM

 

Definitely did, Bar.

Domino

10:03 PM

 

I'm only on Part 2

picklehead42

10:04 PM

 

You...

You just...

...you can stay...

The Toglodyte

10:05 PM

 

I'm sweating, from the heat and the nerves, and soon enough, she comes back, and is pulling me forward with her, behind the counter, past some closed doors, and into this little room with a bed, a cabinet, and an old white woman with slightly yellowed teeeth, and a smile that looks as plastic as her big ol' titties

 

wasn't hot though

Domino

10:06 PM

 

Bar, I can't stop laughing at your Pinkie voice

 

This is great

picklehead42

10:06 PM

 

I can't take it

I'm done

See you guys tomorrow

I just can't take the cringing, the puckering, the eyes clenched shut.

And I'm tired. But the other things are the main reason

Keep it right

Raritan

10:06 PM

 

I love you.

 

<3

Domino

10:06 PM

 

Bye Pickle

The Toglodyte

10:06 PM

 

i was like whatever, said hello, claire left fter sucking my tongue out of my face, and then she (old tits) had me lie down and pull off my pants.  Don't gotta say how awkward that was, especially cuz her bog tits were heaving and jiggling pleasently as she explained what was about to happen

Theseus

10:06 PM

 

Night Pickle.

Baratone

10:07 PM

 

Sweet dreams Pickle

The Toglodyte

10:07 PM

 

night pickle, tomorrow you get a private recount

 

director's cut

picklehead42

10:07 PM

 

>sweet dreams

Good lord man. After this shit? Not a chance

10:07 PM

picklehead42 dives out the window

Domino

10:08 PM

 

Bar, this is great. Your Pinkie voice is just...

The Toglodyte

10:08 PM

 

Right, so she's explaining, i'm focused on her tits, trying not to pop wood, and grunting affirmatives so she'll hurry the fuck up already

Domino

10:08 PM

 

It's just bad enough to be good.

The Toglodyte

10:09 PM

 

She evetually smiles that same fake smile, and gets up to rummage around in the cabinets, before starting up something that humss and whirs a bit.

Domino

10:09 PM

 

And done.

Baratone

10:09 PM

 

I can't do high pitched voices well

The Toglodyte

10:10 PM

 

minute later, she comes back, and lays a little bowl with like a ladle thing in it on a little table next to us, as well as a few sheets of like butcher paper

Domino

10:10 PM

 

If you've done any other narrations, give me a link to put on the list.

Theseus

10:10 PM

 

>40yo virgin time

The Toglodyte

10:11 PM

 

I don't see the wax, so i don't know what's in the bowl, but i'm already regretting having payed more attention to her pendulous mams than her expositional dialogue

Baratone

10:11 PM

 

I shall Dom

The Toglodyte

10:11 PM

 

I close my eyes, because i'm hoping that'll help, and then i feel the hot-ass wax drip on my left fucking nut

 

and i open my eyes right the fuck up, in time to see her dollop a fucking spoonful of this shit right fucking next to my now hard cock.

 

fear and pain turn me on, what can i say?

Theseus

10:12 PM

 

HA!

Domino

10:13 PM

 

Tog, get on with it. I wanna hear how you screamed like a bitch.

The Toglodyte

10:13 PM

 

She's got a much more sincere smile now, as she smothers the molten shit "unintentionally" brushing her palm against my shaft every other pass.

Domino

10:14 PM

 

You got a handy from the wax lady

 

Bar, I found a young Chrysalis

http://i.imgur.com/NAcX4q1.png

The Toglodyte

10:14 PM

 

And i'm just screaming intrnally, one, this bitch is about to fucking rape me, and two this bitch is getting off on killing my dick.

Domino

10:15 PM

 

What's so bad about that?

The Toglodyte

10:16 PM

 

She puts down the first sheets of wax paper, and it feels pleasantly cool on my now aching cock, especially when compared to the formerly molten wax that has now cooled down, and admittedly feels fucking sweet all over my nuts.

 

and i'm stupid as shit, so i don't see where this is going

Domino

10:16 PM

 

Hey Baratone

The Toglodyte

10:17 PM

 

she begins counting down, just as i begin to relax, and when she reaches 2, i realize the tiny pressure on my cool paper balls

 

i have enough time to suck in a breath, and she tears that shit like she was starting an old lawnmower with a busted engine

 

And i'm not gonna lie

Domino

10:18 PM

 

>inb4 now you don't have a dick

The Toglodyte

10:18 PM

 

I screamed, like a bitch

 

As well as cumming

Domino

10:18 PM

 

Called it

The Toglodyte

10:18 PM

 

and it got in her hair

 

and she just smiled at me

 

and i fucking cried

Domino

10:18 PM

 

Dude, I need to high-five you.

The Toglodyte

10:19 PM

 

And then she pulled the other one

 

And the other

Theseus

10:19 PM

 

WHAT.

 

You actually fucking came from that?

The Toglodyte

10:19 PM

 

untill all i could feel, below the belt, was this white hot excrutiating pain, and my nuts felt like they were not even there anymore

Theseus

10:19 PM

 

That's so awkward.

The Toglodyte

10:20 PM

 

she just walked out, with the cum still in her hair, and i was left sobbing and cradling my now bald crotch.

 

Claire came back in, with, and get this, a fucking camera.

 

and she was just laughing, and mocking me in my ruined state.

 

and all i could do was just lay there, and hope that she gets hit by a bus i pushed her in front of

Domino

10:21 PM

 

That.

 

Was.

 

Glorious.

The Toglodyte

10:22 PM

 

talking about it, i still can remember that old bitches big tits

 

if she were 7 years younger

 

i would have tried something

 

but no

Domino

10:23 PM

 

Now, where's Baratone? I have something for him.

10:22 PM

The Toglodyte crawls over into a corner and sobs a bit at the memory