Axel Jones: Dog-gone Day

Today is Thursday.

>But it isn't just any regular Thursday

>No, something terrible has happened, and to your amigo.

 

10:30 AM

>Just a regular day in Canterlot High

>Supervising the hall, making sure no lawbreakers pass by your sight, or your mighty axe of JUSTICE.

>As you stand by, the new purple girl passed by.

>You smell the smell of something foreign

>Something foul

>She smells like a wild animal.

"HOLD IT, PURPLE GIRL!"

>"Huh?"

"Backpack, now."

>"W-what? I...What?"

>You paid no mind to her confusion and swiped her backpack off from her.

>"Hey! That's my stuff!"

>As you looked in her backpack, you found the foreign contaminant

>A purple dog.

 

>>"Uhh...Bark Bark..?" said the purple dog

>Peculiar.

 

"Purple girl, bringing animals to this school is STRICTLY forbidden."

>"Sorry, I'm a bit new here."

"That's not an excuse for violating the law. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leash the dog outside."

>"But Spike wouldn't hurt anyone. She's a kind, lovable gentle dra-uhh dog."

>>"She?" whispered the dog.

 

>You didn't hear it.

 

"Also, I'm going to have to fine you. Let's see..."

>You take out your animal-violation ticket pad.

>...

>Drokk, you already filled out most of them under 'Fluttershy'.

>Going to have to restock on this.

>You look at the purple girl. She already released the dog outside the school.

"Wait a minute. Did you even leash that beast?"

>"Please, I can assure you that he won't do any harm. Besides, the worst thing he's ever done was hump Rarity in the leg."

"Hmm, I'm going to have to fine him as well for sexual contact."

>"What? Oh come on!"

"Stay right there while I get some more tickets. Leave and you'll have to answer to my AXE."

>"Ugh."

 

>As you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, you hear a scream.

>*AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!*

>A student runs through the hall.

"HALT STUDENT. RUNNING IS AGA-"

>"It's janitor Sombra! He's been poisoned!"

"WHAT?"

 

>You heard the news.

>You quickly took out a ticket and fined the running scum with a detention permit.

>Slapping that permit at her face, you ran after that.

>You rush to your hall E.

>A large crowd of students circle around a certain area near the cafeteria entrance

>Drokk!

 

"What's going on here?"

>Granny Smith talks to you.

>"It's horrible! Janitor Sombra has been [spoiler]food[/spoiler] poisoned!

"What?"

>You look at the floor.

>Janitor Sombra lies there, shit scattering from his pants.

>>"Uuuggh..."

"Janitor Sombra! Stay with us, it's probably gonna be alright...probably...err...not."

>>"S-stay back...I...HUUURRRRRRGHHH"

>Janitor Sombra pukes a fountain of semi-digested food.

>>>"THis is horrible!" said one of the students.

"Alright."

>You turn around and pointed at the lunch lady, Granny Smith.

"You! You're under arrest for suspicion of attempted food poisoning!"

>"W-Wha? I..."

>You immediately cuff her.

>Suddenly, another student slides through the crowd of students.

>It's the lawyer, Sophia.

>>>"Hey! You can't jus-"

"Save it for court, lawyer, or at least until I can find a new judge to preside.

>Sombra is then lifted to a stretcher and is brought to the nurses' office.

>You on the other hand escorted Granny Smith to Principal Celestia's office.

 

>The lawyer student follows.

>>>"Look, I know we've had our differences, but I know Granny Smith didn't do it."

"What made you so sure, lawyer?"

>>>"First of all, I'm not a lawyer. I'm a debate student!"

"Lawyer, debate student, you're all the same to me."

>>>"Alright, alright. Second of all, Granny Smith couldn't have done it because..."

>You stop.

"Because what?"

>Sophia pauses for a moment, only to whisper something to you.

>>>"Because Smith and Sombra are...an item."

"They're being SOLD? Drokk!"

>>>"No, you idiot! They're a couple!"

"...couple of what?"

>>>"How oblivious are you to this?"

"What are you talking about? Speak sense, lawyer!"

>>>"Sombra and Smith are DATING!"

>"It's true..."Granny Smith added.

"...oh. But that still doesn't excuse her for being the prime suspect."

>>>"Ugh."

>You arrive at Principal Celestia's office. No one's inside.

>You then made Smith sit down.

"Wait here until the Principal's arrived."

 

>You then go outside to argue with the lawyer.

"Isn't this the time where you scum lawyers talk to your clients or something?"

>>>"Axel, we're not in court. We're in school!"

"Just wait till I get a new judge."

>>>"Or, you could get up off your ass and actually try to find some truth in this."

"Isn't that your job?"

>>>"You really want to go up against me in court again?"

"...fine."

 

>And so the adventure begins with our favorite humanized people of the law.

 

LOCATION: Crime scene.

>You arrive at the crime scene, devoid of students. They were all called to an assembly in light of recent events.

"You do realize I'm going to have to fine you for missing out on an assembly."

>"H-hey, you too!"

"I'm exempted. I'm a HALL MONITOR."

>"...Do you even attend classes?"

"Sombra attends for me. I'm a full time HALL MONITOR."

>"Right..."

 

>You and Sophia investigate the site.

>Uncleaned feces from Sombra, an outline of where his body laid.

>One of the floor tiles has a very subtle footprint.

>"Well, will you look at that. Our first clue!"

>You do as any normal HALL MONITOR would. You smother your face all over the floor tile.

"*sniff*snort*

>"Ahh! What the hell are you doing?"

"Sniffing out for clues."

>"Not that literal!"

>You ignore here illogical sentences and continued face hugging the floor tile.

"Alright, I think I got what shoe they used. "

>"You...what?"

>Using the scent you picked up, you immediately deduced that there was someone else in the cafeteria other than the lunch lady you just arrested.

"Follow me."

>"I don't think you'll ever fail to amuse me."

 

>You and Sophia go by the kitchen.

>The sweet smell of mystery sauce fills your nose.

>Sophia feels the opposite.

>"Ugh, it stinks in here."

>How dare that woman makes little of this holy grail of a kitchen.

>"Hey, look up there!"

>You look. It's a vent.

"Hurm. I can smell the same footprint up there."

>"You're weird."

>Sophia tries to reach for it.

>"Give me a boost."

>Giving the lawyer a boost, she reaches for the vent and climbs in.

"Do you see anything?"

>"No! I'll try to see where this leads me."

>You then stand in the kitchen, waiting.

>...

*footsteps*

>Footsteps? Better investigate.

>You go outside the cafeteria. It's almost deserted...

>...save for one repeating offender.

"YOU! STOP CITIZEN!"

>>"OH GOD, NOT YOU AGAIN!"

>The blue haired offender surrenders.

>>"GOD, PLEASE! NO MORE COURTS! NO MORE!

"Hurm. What are you doing outside of the assembly room? Trying to cover up evidence of the poisoning?"

>>"Man, I don't even know the janitor!"

"Either way yo-"

*BONK*

>Someone hits you from behind.

>Drokk. You fall down, unconscious.

>>"H-hey what's goin-"

>>>"Him too."

*DONK*

>The blue haired offender was knocked out unconscious too.

>As your vision fades away, you see the sight of a purple dog by the windows.

 

>>>"Take them to the shed." Said your attacker.

 

 

 

You are Sophia

Vents

 

>God, this vent is cramped as hell.

>You crawl through the vent, pushing away cobwebs and dust.

>I swear, I wouldn't even be surprised if I find a corpse here.

 

>You crawl through a vent opening.

>You see there Luna taking something from her bag.

>...

>It's a space rock.

>Hmm. Fascinating, but off course my mission.

>Crawling...crawling...

>Second vent opening.

>You see...ground?

>You see Norman and Rarity fighting a huge monster in a stylized RPG environment?

>Wat.

>You move on to the third one.

>>"Ohh...Uhh~, yes dog."

>...

>I don't even want to know what's in there.

 

3 minutes later, you finally crawled to somewhere...more logical.

>Three people in the woodshop, discussing.

>They're wearing masks.

>"So, our plan worked. Thanks to the food poisoning, we managed to get everyone out of the halls and classrooms."

>>"I'm honestly more surprised it was easier to take out the cursed hall monitor."

>"Heh, if it wasn't for that waifustealing bastard, Brad to distract him, we probably would have had a hard time."

>>>"Man, this axe is awesome.

 

>Axel's been compromised? That's so out of character for him.

>But, then again, you've only met the guy once, and lived.

>"So, I assume we move on to phase 2?"

>>"Yes. The CCTVs have been disabled. We can proceed with the termites."

>Termites? What are these people planning?

>If Axel was here, he'd lose his shit over school terrorism.

 

You are Axel

Shed

 

>Waking up in a shed. Looks like Sombra's tool shed.

>Ugh...so weak.

>THis is disgraceful to myself.

>You look to your right. The blue haired guy tied up and sleeping like a baby.

>You're tied up too.

>Goddrokkit. If only you can escape from this place. BUT HOW?

>...

>You hear rustling from one part of the shed.

>A head pops out from one of the shed's little holes. It's the purple girls dog.

>He's in.

"Come on, dog. Bite these ropes.

>The dog speaks.

>"Please. Like I would do that."

"WHAT THE-"

>"Yeah. I can talk. How surprising is that?"

"Impossible! That defies the laws of nature. I HATE DEFIERS OF THE LAW!"

>"Yeah yeah, look. I'm not here to be all goodie two-shoes on you."

"Then why are you here, dog? To mock me?"

>"Actually, I'm here to make a deal."

>The smug dog smirks.

"I don't make deals with law breakers."

>"Technically, I'm not even enrolled in this school, so..."

"Fine. What do you require?"

>"Make Principal Celestia approve bringing pets into school."

"Hurm. Not too provoking, and it's probably just you and Fluttershy's pets that would actually exploit that law."

>You thought about it for a moment.

"DEAL."

>"I better hope you're not buttering me up or something."

"I never break laws, or promises."

>"I know...just windows."

>The dog bites off your binds.

"Thanks. Now for the harder part. How do I get out?"

>"Seriously? Twilight told me you once used an axe to fly in middair and weave some grass-ropes or something."

"Without my axe, I am nothing but a normal hall monitor. I feel...powerless."

>The dog walks around in circles, most likely thinking.

>"Say, hall monitor. How much do you love the law?"

"Like it were my own mother."

 

>"How about I tell you a little story then?"

"Uhh."

>"You see, there was once a little book with legs named 'Law'. She was a sweet and innocent little girl who has yet to do wrong. She values JUSTICE."

"Go on..."

>"She made sure there was always order. Chaos was never in her reach, and people respected her. But one night.

"..."

>"A group of bandits known as 'Criminals' came into her house and held her down against her will."

"N-NO!"

>"Oh but there's more. One of those bandits came and cut her pages off letter by letter. They all laughed while he did it."

"Good Faust, this is inhumane. This is cruel."

>Your rage surges from your heart beat. The story fuels your anger.

>"Oh, but it doesn't just end there. They all took their pants off and violated little Law. Poor girl couldn't fight, because she has no one else protecting her."

"NOOOOO!"

>"That's what's happening RIGHT outside this shed every second you stay in here. YOU WANT THE LAW TO GET VIOLATED?"

"NO!"

>"DO YOU WANT TO SIT ON YOUR BUTT HERE AND JUST LET HER GET WRECKED BY BANDITS?"

"NO!"

>Rage at 200%. Your strength intensifies.

"HUUUURGGGGHHHRAAAAAAH"

>Light comes from your eyes. You grow in size.

"I HAVE THE POWEERRRR!!!!"

>"Oh crap."

>And with that, the awesomeness of your anger makes the shed explode.

>Brad and Spike's bodies flail like ragdolls.

>But it doesn't matter. You have a job to do.

>UPHOLD THE LAW! But first...

>You take out the sexual contact ticket pad and wrote it down for the purple dog.

>You formed a paper airplane out of it and threw it at the dog.

 

>NOW FOR MORE JUSTICE.

 

You are Sophia

Vents

>Shit, the vent can't handle your weight.

>Hey, I'm not that fat.

*crack*

>Oh sh-

"AAAAHHH"

>*bomfp*

>You land in the wood class.

>"Aww shit, we have another witness!"

>Crap.

>You grab the nearest weapon you can find.

>A piece of 2x4.

"Stay back!"

>"Drop the board and we'll go easy on you."

"Jeez, what are you guys planning."

>"You think we'd just tell you, girl? We're not cartoon villains you know."

>Cornered by three guys. Looks like yo-

>Suddenly by the distance, you hear music.

 

~You got the touch~

 

"Uhh..."

>"Wait, shhh. Do any of you guys hear that?"

 

 

~You got the powaaaaaaaah~

 

>"Oh SHIT RU-"

>The walls of the wood shop explodes.

 

~YEAAAAH~

 

>Axel, completely buffed and tall as fuck, with background music following him about.

>"HOLY SHIT!"

>The three guys try to whack him with their pipes and 2x4s, but they were no match for the raging hulk of a hall monitor.

>>"Oh god, oh god, oh god."

>"WHAT IS THIS GUY?"

>>"P-PLEASE! HAVE MERCY!"

>At long last, Axel speaks.

>>>"There is no mercy, when it comes to those who break THE LAW."

 

>Axel, 7 foot tall and completely ripped, breaks their faces with his fists of justice.

>...

>Shit, am I getting wet from this?

 

>The third guy grabs the stolen axe from the desk and tries to hit him with it.

>It causes a paradox.

>No one hits Axel WITH HIS OWN AXE.

>When the tip of the axe touched Axel, it instantly created a black hole two feet tall and two feet wide.

>It sucks every wall debris and chair inside it.

 

>"OH GOOOD WHAT IS HAAAPEENIING!"

>Axel grabs the axe from the man and knocks him out with the bottom tip.

>Axel holds the axe with both hands and meditates

 

>4 seconds later, the black hole is gone.

>By then, the whole school came down from the assembly to see what's happening.

>The whole shop class, wrecked by the awesome power of Axel Jones.

>The three suspects gave themselves up completely once they realized they were overpowered by the lawbringer.

>"OH GOD, WE SURRENDER!"

>"NO MORE, PLEASE!"

>Principal Celestia comes front and center from the crowd.

>>>>"What is going on here?"

>Axel reverts back to his normal size.

"Ms. Celestia. I think I can explain."

>You go to the suspects and unmasked them all.

 

>Beneath those masks were Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon and Snips.

>The audience gasps. They have no idea who they were.

>>>>"Err..."

"While me and my partner in the law were looking for clues on who poisoned Janitor Sombra, I managed to sneak up the vents in search for more clues. When I managed to come by the woodshop part of the school, I've heard their plans of completely terrorizing the school with termites and food poisoning."

>>>"You make me sick." Axel said to them.

>Principal Celestia was dumbfounded.

>>>"And then Axel came in and DESTROYED the room?"

>Axel told his part.

>>>>>"I was trapped in my comrade's shed for minutes, until a certain purple dog rescued me."

>A purple dog then appears by the windows.

>Raising his paw, he appears to be giving Axel the thumbs up for dogs.

>>>>"But why?"

>They don't answer.

>Axel gives them the stare of death.

>"AAAH! Alright ALRIGHT!"

>They give in.

>"We were supposed to keep you people busy while we try to change our grades in the archives."

>School staff gasps.

>"And we could have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids, and that stupid dog."

>Axel then rounds the suspects up.

>>>"B-but what happened to the whole room? It's completely destroyed!"

>Axel looks at the buxom principal and says:

>>>>>"Casualty of justice. Also, you mind adding a rule that allows pets in? Thanks."

>And then he heads out to lock the perps in Celestia's room with  Granny Smith.

>>>Principal Celestia leans by a wall, completely devastated over the fact that she has to pay bigtime to repair the shop class.

>...I don't even know how he does it.

 

 

You are Axel

Standing in glory on the school rooftops

 

>Tis sunset already, and today was another successful day of protecting.

>While you have failed in terms of sleeping on the job due to unconsciousness

>You realize that people learn from their mistakes, as with you.

>And next time, I'm going to have to wear a helmet. Probably.

 

>"So this is what you do when the school ends?"

>You turn your head to see Sophia, leaning by the door.

"What do you want, lawyer?"

>"You are one interesting individual, Axel."

"You're less than interesting, Sophia."

>"Well, I have to admit, you could have solved the case all by yourself."

"If not for you pushing me to, Smith would have been sentenced to three weeks detention."

>Sophia joins you to watch the sun set.

>She then lightly punches you on the shoulder.

>"Weirdo" she says.

>You would have fined her for punching a man of the law, but it's already past school hours.

>You'd let it slide.

 

>...

 

"Wait...did I forget something?

 

Twilight Sparkle

School Hall

 

"Umm...how much longer am I going to wait here?

 

End