Chapter 7: This just 'Inn!'

"Man, where the hell did she go? I was only gone for like... ten minutes!" I ponder out loud. I walk around the areas near the bar, wondering around aimlessly. I then realize that the Elf said that she was going to an inn to play her fiddle. "Gah, which one, there's like a thousand inns in this town! Seriously? How many travelers does this town even get?!" I frustratingly shout. "Hey, bud, you lookin' for an inn? I hear one's got this amazing fiddle player right now, it goes by tha name of... eh... what was it again? My memory ain't so great. Hmm... I think it had somethin' to do with Mugs and Musicians?" some traveler hanging around the entrance of the bar says. "Oh, why thank you, that was exactly the info I needed! Mugs and Musicians, eh? Hmm... oh, would it perhaps be 'The Drunken Flute?'" I ask sincerely. "Yeah! That was it! The place has nice wine too, pick some up when you stop by," the wanderer says. "Thanks, I'll remember to," I reply.

 

I quickly make my way to 'The Drunken Flute', making sure I don't run into the billions of other lodging sites in the town. I approach the entrance, but I realize I'm going to have to rent a room in order to get in. "Wait," I think, "I can just mimic Berta and get in!" I stroll to an area out of sight from others, and change into Berta. I then try to think this through... how am I going to go about entering?

 

A. Just walk through the entrance, no one will ask questions... probably

B. Go through the back entrance, where the fiddler might be, although the actual Berta may be there too

C. Sneak in as Berta, then revert back to Sam in the bathroom, that way the fiddler doesn't suspect anything

 

>C. Sneak in as Berta, then revert back to Sam in the bathroom, that way the fiddler doesn't suspect anything

 

I open the backdoor as quietly as I can, sneaking in stealthily. I tiptoe around all the other entertainers, some giving me strange looks. I realize Berta came in drunk, and if she's hanging with the fiddler, she's also been around this group of pretentious performers. To seem more legitimate, I pretend to stumble forward, then let out a loud whoop, as if to give the impression that I'm drunk off my ass. When I manage to sneak away from the back, I walk through the bathroom, uncaring of whichever gender it was. I revert back into my original appearance, and walk back out.

 

I never noticed that the fiddler was playing, and from the entrance of the bathroom, I begin to watch her, dancing on stage, madly strumming away, all the while her face is hidden with the hat. She's certainly talented, but there's definitely something more... something I should've realized by now, and it's tugging at my sleeve. I disregard it, making my way back through the residents calmly sipping their mead, and into the backstage. I notice Berta, who is watching the elf intently, almost mesmerized by the little one's playing. Does Berta like this kid, or is their something more to this?

 

The fiddler's playing climaxes with an extremely fast tempo, leaving the air filled with clapping from the slightly intoxicated guests. As she walks backstage, Berta compliments her, something I've never seen her do before. The elf shrugs off the praise, saying she could do better. I try my best to hide, not wanting to be noticed by neither Berta nor the elf. I do my best to blend in, but Berta's head quickly perches up. "Wait a se *hic* cond... *sniff* *sniff* I smell coal and sweat... Sammy-Boy, are you in here?" the amazon bluntly states. "Shit, when did she find out my transforming makes that scent?" I mutter to myself.

 

"Sam, are you hiding? Show your *hic* cute little face!" Berta says, continuing her drunk rambling. "All right, alright, you caught me, I'm here," I say, walking away to distinguish myself from the crowd of performers. "You?! Why are you here? Have you been stalking me?!" the elf speaks, agitated with the fact that someone has followed her. I blush slightly, realizing this isn't exactly the best example of my whole espionage business... and that a small elf is accusing me of being her 'unwanted fan.' "No, I was looking for the drunken Amazon standing next to you... she isn't the best at staying still when she's intoxicated," I reply, trying to redeem myself in her eyes.

 

"Well, why don't you think she can handle herself?" the elf huffs. "Because she's fucking drunk, why else would I chaperon her?" I reply quickly, not thinking before I speak. "Whatever, how did you even get in here in the first place?" she replies with no proper comeback to what was previously said. "Oh, why I'm a doppelganger of course! I can pretty much mimic anyone I've seen before," I state.

 

"HEY?! Did that guy say he was a doppelganger?! Some bastard thief blamed my friend for a crime he didn't commit last week! I bet it was you!" one of the performers shouts. "Oh no, guys, just... walk away, pretend like you don't hear him... c'mon, let's jus-" I say, cut off by the man's shouting. "GUARDS! GUARDS! THIS MAN IS A THIEF! A THIEF I TELL YOU!" the man shouts. "Shit! Guys, out the door! NOW!" I command, watching as one of the armored men takes notice of the entertainer's shouting. He begins making a slow pace, but it is steadily increasing.

 

Berta, the Elf, and I burst through the back door, making the main road of the town our target. We run next to the wall of the inn, and eventually find our way to the main road. "Guys *huff* guys *huff* I can't *heave* go on... I-" the little one sputters, trudging along Berta's side with her fiddle in her hand. Berta quickly picks her up, and slings her across her shoulder, effortlessly running the whole time.

 

I look behind us, and see that two more guards have joined in the pursuit, and they don't seem to be slowing down. "Shit, Berta, we have to lose them! I can't go back to prison!" I shout, panicking over past memories. "You went to jail?" Berta asks. "I'll tell you later, but we've got these bastards to handle first!" I shout back.

 

Shit, Sam only has a few options! What is he going to do?

 

A. Run until the guards tire out! It always works in cartoons!

B. Look for a clearing or an opening to the forest, then head there! (Literature-Logic: guards hate forests)

C. Look! It's an abandoned cottage! Run there!

D. Find a brush! Hide there so the guards don't find them!

 

>C. Look! It's an abandoned cottage! Run there!

 

Berta and I are still running, and I can tell we're beginning to wear ourselves out. "Berta, look! Over there! I know that *huff* place, it's been abandoned for *heave* years! Let's go there," I shout, figuring out a way to escape the guards. "But first, we have to lose them. Split up, we'll circle back around and meet at *huff* the door," Berta replies. "Got it, just *gasp* don't get caught," I respond, running to the left of the road's forked path. Berta turns right, and I soon lose sight of her as we run from our assailants.

 

I look back, and see that only one of the guards is chasing me. I assume the other two went after the bigger target. "Damn, the guards have been getting smarter lately, it'll take a bit more intellect in future mission," I think to myself. "No matter, I'll always be one step ahead of a bunch of grunts," I reassure myself. "Stop! Criminal scum! Turn yourself in, or face greater consequences!" the guard yells. "Turn myself in? I don't know the meaning of the phrase!" I shoot back. I duck into a bush, hiding myself from the guard. He leaps into the same brush, only to find that no one is there. "Damn thieves, I'll report this one to the barracks you sneaky dastard!" the guard shouts out loud. I snicker after hearing this. As if they'll give a shit, there's dozens of well-known thieves in these parts, and few have ever been caught.

 

I make my way to the house, looking both ways every few seconds to make sure none of the guards recognize me. As I approach the wooded area where the cabin is located, I notice Berta's footsteps embedded in the ground. The cabin is fairly small, and made completely out of wood. There are a few windows here and there, but most of them are minuscule. I try to open the front door, only to have a women's voice shout "Go away!" "Berta, it's me open the damned door," I respond. "Oh yeah? What's the name of my sword?" the Amazon asks loudly. "Ugh, you little- it's Buster, now let me in!" I reply angrily. "Okay, I'm opening the door," she says, as the wooden creak of the door penetrates the quietness of the woods.