Miscast - Chapter 6

>Day 4 in Equestria.

 

>It's been a good day.

>The last three, however...

>Magically zapped into a new dimension by a freaky nerd p0ny.

>Stripped naked by a fashionista p0ny.

>Beaten up by a flying blue p0ny.

>And had your life put in danger by a country p0ny.

 

>Oh yeah, then that ball of fear yellow p0ny.

>She was there too.

 

>After they managed to smuggle you into a barn to lay low, they all went off to do their own thing.

>Twi said, though you were interesting and needed...

>...experimentation...

>...she had to make sure Spike was alright.

>Applejack went to work the fields more, and tell someone named 'Big Mac' that you exist.

>Rainbow went to make sure p0nies understand that there is NOTHING WRONG.

>And Fluttershy left without a word.

>Right now, however, you were laying down in a pile of hay, eyes closed.

>Damn was this comfy.

>For the first time since coming to this place, you feel relaxed.

>At peace.

>Yeah, you were surrounded by crazy magic flying country p0nies.

>Aside from that, you're fine!

>It got a bit boring though.

>You've been here for about 20 hours, nothing to do besides sleep.

>You'd be working right now on Earth.

>You miss your job, a pinch of homesickness hitting you.

>Let it go.

>You're kicked back, apple in one hand, the other behind your head.

>It's a shame you can't see the sky right now.

>You kick that urge quickly though.

>Last time you stepped outside, it caused a bit of havoc.

>Not making that mistake again!

 

>As you take another bite of apple, the barn door swings open a bit.

>First visitor you've had!

"Hello?"

>You see something walk into the barn.

>A yellow and pink something.

"Oh, hey Fluttershy!"

>A pleasant surprise honestly.

>No one has visited you since afternoon yesterday, and being alone gets boring without a computer.

>She walks in silently, closing the barn door behind her.

>"...um...hi..."

>Aww, she's still the boring scared Fluttershy.

"Whatcha need?"

>You decide to skip pleasantries. After all, she probably had a good reason for being here.

>Maybe she just wanted to keep you company?

>"Oh...well, I uh, thought you could use some company."

>Hit the nail on the head.

"Well thanks, awfully kind of ya."

>She looks down, hiding her face in her mane again.

>Geez, can't even say anything nice.

>Whatever, it IS nice to have company.

 

>She walks over to the hay pile you're laying in and sits next to it.

>"So, um, Anon..."

"Hm?"

>"Are there more...um..."

"Humans?"

>"Yeah..."

>So she's interested in human? Not surprising, so far you're the only one they know of.

"Where I come from, tons. Over 7 billion humans."

>"W-wow, 7 billion?"

"Yep, each one different. Guys, girls, adults, children, different colors..."

>"...so they're basically like p0nies?"

>Now that you think about it...

"...yeah. I guess they are..."

>Wow, when did you get all sentimental?

>You've been gone 4 days, and you're certain it won't last much longer.

>Whether Twilight figures out a new spell, or Celestia McUseless gets her ass in gear...

>Something will turn up.

>It's not like anyone misses you...

>A concerned Fluttershy pokes her head up from next to you.

>"A-are you okay?"

>You must wear your heart on your sleeve, sappy.

>You put your hand on her head.

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine."

>Instinctively, you start lightly petting her.

>She freezes up, but doesn't pull away.

>No objections, it seems.

>She lays her head down on the hay as you keep petting her.

>You could swear, for the first time since you met her, she had a smile on her face.

 

>"Whatcha doooooooing?"

>A high pitched voice on your right chimes in out of nowhere.

>You look over, and Fluttershy looks up at...

>A vibrantly pink p0ny, sticking out of the hay bale you've been laying on.

>For most the past day.

>What.

>Fluttershy immediately pulls away from your hand, recalling into her mane.

>"Uhh...I...mmmnn..."

>With that string of noises, she bolts out of the barn, slamming the door on the way out.

>You just stare.

>After a good couple seconds of staring, it speaks again.

>"So, what were ya doooooing?"

>It's voice sounds like a mix between curious and devilish.

"I was petting her."

>"Why?"

>This one's a bit nosey.

"I dunno...is it weird?"

>"No, p0nies pet their pets all the time!"

>Oh fuck.

>Now you get it.

>You keep fucking forgetting that p0nies = people around here.

>And you were just petting one.

>That's like randomly petting a girl you met on a park bench.

>Holy fuck you're a creeper.

>"Well, whatever you meant by it, she sure enjoyed it!"

>The pink p0ny giggles.

>Who the fuck is this anyway?

 

"Who the fuck are you anyway?"

>"Me? I'm PINKIE PIE!"

>She cheers, confetti popping up from behind her from the hay.

>Whaddafuck.

"Well, hi. I'm-"

>"Anon! You came to this world from a magical spell gone wrong, and are hiding in this barn because you disobeyed Twilight and went outside!"

>She knows.

>Which is fucking creepy.

"Uh...yeah. How do you know all this"

>She jumps out of the hay bale and lands in front of you.

>"Oh silly Anon, I see everything!"

>She leans in closer.

>"Ev-ery-thing..."

>Ohmigodwhatthefuck.

>Note to self, leave her the fuck alone.

"O...kay."

>She stops leaning forward and smile,s lightly bouncing around the barn.

"So other than watching me accidentally fondle Fluttershy, what are you doing here?"

>"Oh, that's easy! I was setting up your party!"

"...party?"

>Like it was the magic fucking word, every hay bale in the barn explodes into confetti.

>Including the one you were laying on.

>You're launched into the air with a fanfare of colored streamers.

>Those same streamers land on the floor next to you.

>After you land on your face of course.

 

>You're pretty sure you blacked out for a second there.

>You lift your head up to tell off Pinkie Pie.

>It's not just Pinkie Pie anymore.

>The room is now full of p0nies.

>You've been out for more than a fucking second.

>Rainbow...Rarity...Twilight...Fluttershy...Applejack...

>The gang's all here.

>"Anon! You're finally awake, sleepyhead!"

>Pinkie Pie bounds towards you from an appetizer table.

>"Get up, silly filly! The party started without you!"

>How did it start without you? You were here!

>Blacked the fuck out.

>Because of HER.

>Time to tell this bitch off.

"Pinkie, why the f-"

>She puts a pink marshmallow on your mouth.

>"Anon, don't worry, I won't tell anyone about Fluttershy!"

>...what?

>"I KNOW you wouldn't want that getting out, would you?"

>She looks at you half-lidded.

>Holy shit.

>She's fucking extorting you.

"I...uh..."

>"Just enjoy the party, Anon!"

>She gives you a wink and bounds away to her other guests.

>Stay. The Fuck. Away. From that p0ny.

 

>You shake off the last of the unconciousness, you decide to say hi to the other guests.

>Might as well be a good...host? Fucking Pinkie.

>You see Rarity over by a punch bowl.

>Walking up, you notice she's wearing pants!

>"Oh, hello Anon! Glad to see you're...awake."

>Fucking Pinkie Pie.

"Yeah...love the pants!"

>She instantly takes the compliment.

>"Oh, you like? I think they're marvelous!"

>She wiggles her ass at you, showing them off.

"Definitely suit you."

>"I was THINKING of starting to sell them."

"That's not a bad idea! You think other p0nies will like them too?"

>"Oh of COURSE! How could they not?"

>She pours you a glass of punch, which you gladly accept.

>Wait, did Pinkie make this punch?

>You stealthily pour it in a nearby hay bale.

>"I made some more clothes for you, as well. They're in the corner over there."

"Wow, thanks!"

>She smiles, then walks over to the record player to put on more music.

>You walk up to Twilight, who has Spike in tow.

>Hand suddenly feels heavier...

>You look down at your empty cup.

>It's full of punch.

>Pinkie bounds away with a pitcher, happily humming.

>She fucking sees everything.

 

>Pouring it out once again, you crouch down and tap Spike on the shoulder.

>"Hm...oh, hey Anon!"

"Sup, little dude."

>You hold out the brofist.

>He shapes the other half, and the two collide.

>This fucking dude gets it.

>"Hey Anon. How's the barn been treating ya?"

>You get up to properly talk to Twilight.

"Not bad, it's been really comfortable."

>"Don't get too comfortable. Once this blows over, it's right back to the lab-"

>...

>"...I mean library!"

>Dammit.

"Look, I wouldn't mind answering questions about humans and whatnot, but no experiments."

>"But..."

"No."

>Twilight gives up.

>"FINE. I guess that's fair."

>She turns away.

>"I'll get my answers eventually."

>That totally doesn't sound ominous and foreboding.

>You walk over to the next nearest guest, full cup of punch in tow.

>God damn it.

>Maybe it tastes good?

>You take a very very minimal sip.

>It DOES taste good.

>DON'T GIVE IN.

>You throw the damn cup into a hay bale and go to talk to Rainbow.

 

>"..so then I was like WHAM! POW! SMACK! P0nies flying everywhere!"

>Rainbow is recounting her tale to you of how she fought off the horde of p0nies.

>"'HE'S NOT A MONSTER!' I yelled, but those p0nies bore their fangs and started going for the throat!"

>Whut.

"So, they were vampire p0nies?"

>"...YEAH, totally! Vampire WEREWOLF p0nies even!"

>Bullshit.

"Well then, THANK YOU for fighting them off for me!"

>You lay on the facetious as thick as you can.

>She doesn't seem to notice.

>She flaps her wings, flying eye-level to you, and throws a hoof around your shoulders.

>"I'd do anything for ya bro."

>Brofists protocol followed 100%.

>Two in one day? Fuck yeah.

>She floats off to grab some appetizers.

>Fluttershy's right near where Rainbow once stood.

>She makes eye contact with you.

"EEP!"

>She hides herself instantly.

>You fucking creeper look what you did.

"Hey Fluttershy."

>Instead of words, you're greeted with what sounds like extremely soft screams for help.

>WHAT DID YOU DO.

"Well, uh, glad you could make it..."

>Her eyes keep darting around the room.

>Yeah, this is going nowhere.

"Um...enjoy yourself!"

>She says nothing as you walk away.

 

>Applejack is dancing with Pinkie and Rarity in the center of the barn.

>You THINK it's dancing.

>It just looks like they're stepping up and down in rhythm.

>Isn't that what people dancing looks like anyways?

>People must look fucking stupid while dancing.

>Before you can get another thought in, Pinkie appears right in front of your face.

>"C'mon, Anon! Dance!"

>You aren't a good dancer.

>Especially after that inner pep talk you just gave yourself about looking stupid.

"It's not really my thing."

>"Oh...that's a bummer!"

>Hey, she's fine with it.

>"I guess I'll just go talk to Fluttershy..."

>The poison she put into that name may as well have been dripping from her silver tongue.

>She's fucking serious about this extortion thing.

"Okay, okay, I'll dance!"

>"WOOHOO!"

>She happily drags you into the dance floor.

>You don't exactly move right away.

>"C'mon pardner, loosen up!"

>AJ hits ya in the leg.

>Ah well, when in Equestria, right?

>You start busting out some grooves.

>Soft grooves, socially acceptable grooves.

>But grooves nonetheless.

>The other p0nies you're dancing with keep dancing, laughing and enjoying themselves.

>You really hope they aren't laughing at you.

 

>After a bit of dancing, you decide to get some fresh air.

>You still don't know if the stuff you're breathing is air.

>Now's not the time to worry about things like that.

>AJ said it's fine to leave as long as you stay in the orchard.

>Acres upon acres of apple trees, as far as the eye can see.

>The sun is going down over the horizon.

>You walk into the field a bit, coming across a particularly tall tree.

>You sit down against it.

>It's been a weird couple of days.

>This party was nice...but it makes you feel more detached.

>What if you end up staying here forever?

>Leaving behind all of the people and places from Earth?

>Man, you're making yourself depressed.

>Leave me alone, brain, I can be sad if I want to.

>Cheer up, you'll make it back eventually.

>Whatever.

>You had a family...some friends...a job...

>All the bottled up anger from missing your home finally comes out in one burst.

"WHY!?!"

>You reel your head back into the tree, slamming against it.

>You barely feel a fucking thing.

>The tears forming at your eyes come from sorrow, not pain.

>Whatever fell on your head hurt though.

"Ow."

>An apple bounces into your lap.

>Duh, it's an apple tree.

>What kind of idiot Isaac Newton's himself?

>You look up.

>About 20 more apples are on their way.

 

>After being pummelled by flying fruit, you stand up and rub the lumps.

>"Hey, that was pretty good!"

>You turn around. Applejack is walking towards you, with a large red p0ny.

>Huge red p0ny.

>Like no other ponies you've fucking seen huge.

>Must be Big Mac.

>You quickly and stealthily wipe away the tears.

>"Though, maybe next time, don't use yer head."

>You can't help but chuckle at that. The pain from smashing your head into solid wood.

>Again.

>Is catching up to you.

"Yeah...sorry about the apples."

>"Ain't nothing. We got 1000 more trees to buck."

>Buck? Oh, like kick.

>They buck the trees. It's how they get apples.

>Not like they can climb the trees.

>"You know, last I checked, we were a little short handed around here..."

>Hm?

>"Ain't that right, Mac?"

>"Eeyup."

>"And that right there is exactly what we need more of..."

>Oh boy, you like where this is going.

"Is that so?"

>"Yer darn tootin'! In fact, we might me fixin' to hire someone who can do just that."

>Hire? Like a job?

>Having work is one of the things you missed the most about Earth.

>Made ya feel useful.

"Shame I don't know any p0nies who are available for the job."

>AJ smirks.

>"How about any humans?"

>You know your answer.

"I think I might know ONE."