Miscast - Chapter 4

>Day 3 in Equestria

 

>You wake up in the comfy as shit guest bed.

>As you step out of bed, you feel a crinkle under your feet.

>It's the pile of newspaper Twilight graciously left for you.

>She said she wanted to give you a choice!

>...

>Anyways, you notice that purple psycho p0ne and also purple dragon slave are both fast asleep.

>The sun's up, so you don't feel bad waking up yet.

>A little time to yourself is always a good thing.

>You walk downstairs and into the kitchen.

>Let's get some grub!

>You scour the cabinets for some delicious food.

>Flowers, grain, oats...

>Everything you could ever want...*sigh*

>You then happen upon the stash of apples.

>SCORE!

>Looks like the stash is running out though.

>You do eat quite a few apples...

>You'll have to find out how to repay her for the food.

>And lodgings.

>Sans the fact it's her fault you're here in the first place.

>Maybe she owes you...

>Eh. You aren't sick of this place yet.

>But an abundance of pastel magic horses would drive even the toughest of men crazy.

 

>Grabbing an apple, you sit down at the table in the main room.

>You glance out the window at the sunrise.

>Beautiful day outside!

>Doubt Twi would let you go outside.

>Who says you need her permission?

>You're a grown man, you can go outside if you want to!

>You finish your apple, tossing that core in the nearby trashcan.

>2 points, bitch.

>Get ready, outside, here I come!

>You strut up to the door and swing it open.

>The fresh air is wonderful, it's the perfect spring breeze.

>The sun is shining gloriously in the sky.

>Birds are chirping in the distance.

>And a turquoise pony with a harp on it's butt looks at you in shock.

>"WHAT THE HECK?!"

>Oh right, you're an alien.

>After staring at it awkwardly for about 3 seconds, you slam the door shut.

>You've had enough outside for one day.

 

>Shortly after, Twilight wakes up, and walk downstairs.

>"*yawn* Good morning, Anon."

"Morning."

>If she finds out you were outside, you're as good as a magical prisoner.

>It was bad enough when she was just trying to learn things yesterday.

>Imagine if she get's MAD?

>Magic + Anger = You're fucked, kid.

>She walks into the kitchen.

>"Man, you sure do eat a lot of apples."

"Is that a fat joke?"

>"Are you fat for your species?"

>A little.

"Nah."

>Lying bastard.

>She walks out with a rosepetal sandwich.

>You remember eating rosepetal candy once in your life.

>Maybe it actually tastes good?

>"So, I think we're gonna try some experiments today!"

>Wat.

"E-experiments?"

>You see the most sinister glint in her eye.

>Oh. Shit.

>"Yeah, nothing major...a little shock therapy...maybe an incision or two..."

>Oh HELL no.

"I'm not a freakin' lab rat!"

>"Of course not, you're a lab human!"

>Dammit dammit dammit!

 

>Twi magi-grabs your shirt collar and starts dragging you away.

>"I promise, it won't hurt a bit. Sedatives are quite powerful!"

>You need a miracle to save you from the incoming torture!

>There's a knock at the door.

>Ho-ly shit, thank you whatever that is.

>She drops you on the ground, your head slamming the wood.

>Fucking ow.

>While you cope with the sudden pain, she trots over to the door, swinging it open.

>"Hello?"

>"Hello Twilight..."

>A very soft voice squeaks into the treehouse.

>"I wanted to, uh, tell you about..."

>You look up to see what made said squeak.

>It's a yellow p0ny!

>This one doesn't have a horn, however.

>It has wings!

>The wings are blaringly obvious the moment she sees you.

>With a shrill gasp, she uses the aforementioned wings to fly at you at breakneck speeds, stomping on your chest.

>Smashing your head into the floor.

>Again.

 

>"Hello there, big guy! I've never met a creature like YOU before!"

>That soft squeakiness is long gone.

>For a p0ny that looks absolutely delicate, she feels like 3 damn tons on your sternum.

"Uh...hello..."

>"OH! You talk! That's amazing! I'm Fluttershy, what's your name?"

"A...Anon...could you..."

>"It's SO nice to meet you Anon, I never see any animals like you around here!"

"..get...off..."

>"Hm? What's that?"

"..."

>She then notices you can't breathe.

>You're just about out of air.

>She floats up like she's made of paper.

>Sure didn't FEEL like paper.

>You take some deep breaths to make up for the lost oxygen.

>Does this air even CONTAIN oxygen?

>Now's not the time to think about those things!

>"OH MY, I'm so s-sorry, really, I, uh, didn't know I was hurting you, and I was j-just so interested, I've never seen any animals like you anywhere, a-and..."

>She looks and sounds like she's going to erupt into spaghetti.

"It's fine, really, I understand. It's nice to meet you."

>You rub the multiple lumps now present on the back of your head.

 

>"So why are you here, Fluttershy?"

>Twi's clearly had enough of p0ny after p0ny gawking at her giant scientific fuck-up.

>A.K.A. You.

>Think of yourself more highly!

>"Oh, right... was gonna, um, warn you about..."

>She points out the window.

>"...that."

>Twilight steps over to the window.

>"WHAT?!?!"

>She damn near faints!

>You walk over to the window to catch a glimpse yourself.

>What you see is an absolute ocean of technicolor p0nies.

>And they are all yelling.

>In the front, that turquoise one from before leads the pack.

>YOU DUN GOOFED KID.

"Wow, that's...uh...a lot of p0nies."

>That's an understatement.

>P0nies of all different colors.

>Some have horns, some have wings, some have neither.

>You're almost certain some of them may be...

>*gasp*

>Male!

 

>"I noticed Lyra screaming about something at your treehouse...she sounded a little, well, crazy...so I was worried..."

>She looks to you.

>"I sure hope what she was talking about isn't you!"

>She flaps over to you, and flies eye level with you.

>"You wouldn't harm a fly, would you Anon?"

>She seems to be a good judge of character!

"Yeah, try convincing Twilight of that."

>Twilight just rolls her eyes.

>Still paranoid.

>"Well, we can tell those p0nies that there's nothing to worry about. Let's just-"

>Suddenly, a crash is heard from upstairs.

>A blue blur, streaked with rainbows, flies into the room, stopping in the center.

>"Don't worry Twilight, I'll protect you from the monster!!!"

>Another female.

>Another crazy fucking female.

>Bitches, amirite fellas?

>She catches a glimpse of you.

>"STOP RIGHT THERE, FREAK!"

>Before you can get a word in edgewise, she flies at you and tackles you to the ground.

>Slamming your head into the wood paneling.

>You're starting to see a pattern here.

 

>"Listen you monster, you aren't gonna hurt my friends!"

>You start getting pummeled with marshmellow hooves to the face.

>You'd laugh at the concept at first.

>Except they hit like a fucking brick.

>She gets about three shots in before Twilight magically tears her from you.

>"Let me at him, let me at him!"

>The blue one is swinging at the air, ferociously trying to get at you.

>Fucking.

>Psycho.

>Flying.

>Magic.

>P0NIES.

>"Rainbow Dash, no! He's not a monster!"

>Fluttershy tries desperately to calm her down.

>"But everyone outside said there's a monster in here!"

>"Well they're wrong!"

>Twilight is clearly not happy with you being found out.

>"But it's so WEIRD looking!"

>You finally recover from your pummelling enough to sit up and respond.

"I'M weird looking?!? You look like a crayon box threw up on a bird!"

>"WHAT DID YOU SAY, PUNK?!"

>She desperately tries to get at you, almost breaking free of the magic bonds Twilight is so used to putting on things recently.

>Satisfied with rustling her jimmies, you set your head back down on the cold wood.

>Those fucking punches hurt.

 

>"Look, Rainbow, he's not a monster. He's a weird looking thing from another dimension, he's not going to kill us, and right now, I REALLY could use your help, so I would APPRECIATE IT if

 

you calmed the buck down!"

>Boy, Twilight's scary when mad.

>And it's not aimed at you!

>Awesome.

>"...fine, but I don't trust him."

"You don't have to, just don't PUNCH me."

>You finally manage to stand up again.

>"Alright. If Twilight says you're good, you're good."

>This is p0ny number two to be persuaded by Twilight.

>How much sway does this p0ny hold over the others?

>"So, uh, sorry about all that."

>The blue p0ny, apparently named Rainbow Dash, rubs the back of her head.

>Shaking off the rest of the pain, you accept.

"It's alright, I know you were just concerned for them."

>"Yeah, I'd fight anything for my friends!"

>Twilight sighs.

>"Just because you CAN doesn't mean you should."

>Rainbow blushes.

>"Yeah, heh, I'll cool it down a bit..."

 

>"So aside from the utter fascination with this mistake of creation, and the wave of p0nies come to see/kill him..."

>Twi rubs a hoof on her forehead.

>She must be getting a headache from all this crap.

>You would be too, if the headache wasn't already caused by getting beat up.

>By a p0ny.

>You'll never let yourself live it down.

>"...is there anything we can do?"

>The three p0nies start pondering.

>"Well, we need to bring him somewhere safe."

>"Somewhere where those crazy p0nies won't find him!"

>Crazy p0nies have already found you. They're standing in front of you right now.

>"Um...how about we take him to Sweet Apple Acres...I'm sure Applejack could hide him..."

>"That's a great idea, Fluttershy!"

>Twilight looks at you.

>"Fluttershy is going to lead you there."

>Sweet Apple Acres...Applejack...

>This must be where she got all those delicious apples!

>How could you deny this plan?

"Got it."

>Twi turns her attention to Rainbow.

>"We need to hold off all these p0nies while they escape."

>Rainbow salutes her clear superior.

>"Yes boss!"

 

>Fluttershy guides you to the upstairs window.

>"Go ahead Anon, I'll be right behind you."

>You bid Twilight and Rainbow farewell.

"Thanks you guys!"

>"No problem, dude. Now get going!"

>Rainbow looks raring and ready to hold off a crowd.

>Must be all that pent up energy from not getting to beat you up.

>With that, you step out of the window.

>Wait, isn't the the upstairs window?

>Your suspicions are confirmed as you're halfway done with falling to the ground from the second story.

>...

>You never though grass could hurt this much.

>"Ohmygosh Anon, I'm so sorry, I just, maybe, thought you could fly, and I um, didn't think, um..."

"WHAT WOULD GIVE YOU THE IMPRESSION I COULD FLY?!?"

>Boy that was loud.

>Maybe a bit too loud.

>Fluttershy retreats into her hair, and you can hear a faint scared sob.

>Oh you fucking douchebag.

"No wait, sorry! You had no way of knowing, I should have though about it before leaping from a window!"

>She thinks you can fly, and sends you plummeting two stories, and you're apologizing to HER?

>Such a pushover.

>Shut up, you know I can't handle crying girls.

>It's a p0ny.

>A girl p0ny, now shut it.

>Whatever, sap.

 

"C'mon, uh, Fluttershy! We need to get going before that mob eats me alive!"

>She's far too distressed to move.

>Oh come on man, this is you fault anyhow, fix this!

>How do you console a crying girl on Earth?

>HOW WOULD I KNOW, I BARELY TALK TO GIRLS!

>No wonder you make them cry, douchebag.

>You are NOT HELPING.

>Fluttershy is still sitting there, about to burst into tears.

>Think man, think!

>You do the only thing you can think of.

>You bend down and give her a hug.

"I'm sorry, I really didn't try to be mean!"

>The sobbing stops. Awesome!

>You let go and look at her.

>She still looks down, but the waterworks have ceased.

"Fluttershy, apparently Sweet Apple Acres is the only safe place I can be right now, and I need your help to get there."

>She looks up at you.

>"...o-okay."

>She gets up, flicks her hair out of her face, and starts trotting towards your destination.

>"C'mon, it's this way!"

>You jog after her.

 

>Once you two are a good distance away from the mob of p0nies, Fluttershy slows down to a walk.

>As you both tread down a dirt path, you can't help but notice her waving at all the passing woodland creatures.

>What's even more odd is that they seem to wave back.

>She really does love animals.

>Is that why she wasn't scared of you?

>She thought you were just another animal.

>Then again, wild animals don't yell at people for making mistakes.

>Jerk.

>You continue walking down the path with her. She hasn't spoken a word since you left the town.

>She won't even look at you directly.

>Did you really hurt her that bad?

>She's a bit sensitive.

>In the distance, you can see a red barn appear on a hill.

>"T-that's it..."

>She won't even look at you when talking to you.

"Excellent! Glad you helped me get here."

>Fishing for conversation much?

>You're just trying to make sure she's not scared of you.

>"N-no problem...we're almost there..."

>She's still stammering.

>It doesn't sounds like a scared stammer though.

>Maybe...embarassed?

>As you two walk to the barn, you can't help but wonder.

>How many woodland creatures give hugs?