Miscast - Chapter 13

>Day 30 in Equestria

 

>Your eyes crack open.

>Good FREAKIN' morning!

>Why is this morning so awesome?

>Let's list off the positives.

>One, you're waking up in your perfectly refurbished, Rainbow Dash-less room.

>Two, you've officially stopped working at Sweet Apple Acres, because...

>Three, today you start working as a repairman!

>That's right, no more mooching off the ever-so-wonderful Apples and Rarity.

>Then again, the Apples were awfully sad to see you leave.

>All of 'em!

>Except for Big Mac.

>You're unsure if he can feel emotion.

>Is 'Eeyup' an emotion?

>For him it is, maybe.

>In any case, you throw on some professional work clothes.

>Which in reality, are just normal work clothes that are freshly cleaned.

>You walk downstairs to survey your house.

>Well, mostly your house.

>You also plan on doing business here, so there's a fancy office on the bottom floor.

>You feel so swag right now.

 

>Normally you'd say it's a cause for celebration.

>However, you've been doing nothing but celebrating for the past few days.

>You hate to say it, but Rainbow's starting to drink a hole in that sack of bits.

>Time to cut down and work on making a profit!

>You didn't buy these tools for nothing, did you...?

>Well, in all actuality, how often is someone...p0ny...going to need something fixed?

>The only two you have done are the hole YOU helped create, and the house you live in!

>...

>...the more you think about this, the larger the feeling of regret becomes.

>HEY.

>Stop that.

>This is no time for regrets.

>All you can do now is advertise and hope someb-p0ny needs something fixed!

>You're certain one will come up eve-

>*knock knock*

>Speak of the devil!

>You rush to the door, prepared to answer your first house call.

>Swinging it open, you go to greet the p0ny.

>"Anon! Ano~n!!"

>Anyone but her.

>Any fucking p0ny but her.

"....Hi Pinkie..."

 

>"How's it goin', Anon?"

>You groan.

"Not bad. I'm surprised you aren't saying hello from a bush this time."

>She giggles at your joke.

>"Silly, I don't need to do that when I can see your house from my window!"

>She serious?

>One quick glance in the distance proves her statement.

>Sugarcube Corner, in all it's glory.

>You could have though this out better.

>The pink p0ny slips by you while you're distracted and enters your house.

"Yes, of course, come on in."

>"What a cool place you got here!"

>She's darting around the room, looking at every little detail.

>"Oooo~, what's this? And this? OH WOW you have one of THESE?"

>This is going to fucking stop before you punch a p0ny.

>As if she could feel the tension brewing in your mind, she halts in the center of the room, looking at you.

>"SO, you fix stuff now, do ya?"

>She happily bounces up and down.

"Yeah, I'm trying to start a business out of it..."

>"OH! I can help!"

>Fucking god no.

"That's alright, I'm pretty sure I can handle this."

>"No silly, I mean I need something repaired!"

>Well, that's actually helpful.

"Is that so?"

>"Yeah! I'd rather go to YOU than anyone else!"

>Touching.

 

>Even if she's your first customer, it's STILL Pinkie, and she's been more than...weird.

"Look, Pinkie, I appreciate it, but I'm af-"

>"Did I mention I can pay up front?"

>There's the killing blow.

>Bits.

>Cash.

>Dollar signs.

>Remember why you're doing this, so you don't have to mooch off Applejack anymore.

>The only way to do that is by making money.

>The only way to do THAT is by repairing.

>And the only job offer you have is sitting in front of you.

>Well, bouncing.

>With a heavily exhasperated sigh, you accept.

"Alright, I'll do it."

>"REALLY? Woohoo!"

>She starts bouncing off the walls, in more than once sense.

>You snatch her out of mid air before she starts breaking your stuff.

"So what's the job?"

>You drop her, and she rushes out your front door.

>Reluctant, you snatch your tool belt and box, and head out.

>You got some work to do.

 

>As you walk towards Sugarcube Corner with Pinkie, you start prying about the job itself.

"What do ya need fixed anyway?"

>No answer.

>That really helps.

>You'd ask again, but the walk to Sugarcube Corner really wasn't that long.

>God damn, Pinkie could probably see you through a window in your ho-

>Let's bury that thought so you can sleep.

>Yeah, there we go.

>Nice and buried.

>"Come on in, Anon!"

>She motions to let you in.

>You've seen this place before, and it looked delicious!

>So did the food inside, but the building itself literally looked edible.

>You must have avoided it subconciously due to...

>...well, the p0ny leading you inside.

>You walk in, and the smell wafting into your nostrils is just what you would hope from a bakery/pastry shop.

>It's fucking D-E-LICIOUS!

>Fried Dough, Cupcakes, Fruits and Candies, it all smells SO GOOD.

>But you're here on business!

>...you think.

>At first glance, everything looks alright.

 

>A blue p0ny with pink mane walks at you from across the store.

>"Hello there, human!"

>She's got a huge grin plastered on her face.

>So big, it almost looks fake.

>Almost.

"Hey there, nice to meet you."

>You extend a hand, and she meets it with a hoof and shakes it.

>"Mrs. Cake!"

>You're glad that form of courtesy still exists here, it's been your standard go-to greeting.

"I'm-"

>"Anon, of course! I've heard plenty about you!"

>It has to be residual information picked up from Pinkie.

>You shudder lightly.

>This mare could know ANYTHING.

>Shortly after, a stallion with two babies on his back walks in.

>Mr. Cake, it seems, and the two cake children.

>Pinkie has ran off while you exchanged pleasantries with them.

>Cute kids!

>They even mentioned the need for a babysitter.

>Lods of emone!

 

>Suddenly a loud crash is heard from upstairs.

>It shocks you pretty good.

>But the Cakes seem unfazed.

>In unison, they groan.

>"Pinkie..."

"Is she your daughter?"

>"Oh heavens no! She works here, and lives upstairs."

>Live in employee, sounds about right.

>I mean, if she was YOUR daughter, you'd kick her out ASAP.

>Pinkie pokes her head down from the stairs.

>"Ano~n! I found out what's broken!"

>She couldn't have just...

>No, that would be crazy.

>Well...let's just say you wouldn't put it past her.

>Bidding farewell to the Cakes, you follow her upstairs.

>"This is my room!"

>Her room looks just as you'd expect it to.

>Pink, with toys everywhere.

Well, the toys are more leaking out from the closet to the floor.

>Since the door on the closet is now blatantly broken.

>"I don't know how it happened!"

>Sure.

 

>You inspect the damage.

"You're gonna need a new door...I can fix it, but I'll have to go to th-"

>Before you can say anything, she shushes you with a pink marshmallow.

>"Don't worry, I'll go buy the new door! You stay here and get to work!"

>Initially you'd think her strange for forcing you to stay while she leaves...

>...but it's much more efficient that way, to be honest.

>You can start removing the frame's hinges and whatnot.

"Okay, sounds good."

>With a smile, she bolts out of her bedroom, closing the door.

>A faint click accompanies her walking down the stairs.

>Did she just...

>You attempt to open the door.

>Yep.

>She locked you in.

>Why would her room even work like that?!?

>With a sigh, you return to the busted door.

>Locked in or not, you at least have some work to do.

 

>You start removing the door from the frame.

>Yeah, the damage is recent.

>Like 5 minutes ago recent.

>She had to have kicked it pretty hard!

>Once you remove the broken door, the contents of her closet lay bare.

>No!

>You are a kind, gentlemanly soul.

>How could you even consider stooping down to the level of digging through-

>Is that a camera?

>You snatch the camera up and take a peek.

>Fuck gentlemanly behavior, this is too juicy!

>Aww, it's not a digital camera.

>How could those even exist here?

>Way to go, dipshit.

>Under the camera, however, is a box.

>You flip it open.

>Bingo, pictures!

>You feel dirty for looking through her stuff...

>But she's been spying on you!

>This is payback!

 

>Taking up the first picture, you inspect it.

>It's you working the fields at Sweet Apple Acres.

>This is going to be an album of you, isn't it?

>It's a nice picture though.

>Next one, it's you sleeping on your haybale.

>It's taken from far above.

>God damn you are happy to not be sleeping there anymore.

>Another picture, its you petting Fluttershy.

>That damned blackmail she loved to flaunt.

>You pocket that picture.

>Next, a picture of AJ laying on you.

>DO YOU HAVE NO PRIVACY?!?

>And the last picture in the box, a picture of Pinkie and Fluttershy hiding in a bush.

>Mementos, you guess.

>Gotta have recollection of your escapades!

>At least, that's what Pinkie wants apparently.

 

>You put the box and camera back, and for good measure, throw a lot of the scattered stuffed animals back into the closet.

>Don't want her to know you've been snooping.

>You walk over to the window, to see if that view to your house is really that good.

>With a good squint, you can see right outside this window into the window of your bedroom.

>And your bed.

>That's getting moved ASAP.

>Looking down, a familiar sight.

>A yellow mare with pink mane.

>Fluttershy.

>And Pinkie!

>Pinkie has the door, it's laying against a nearby pole.

>How the hell did she carry it...

>Regardless, you see her chatting with Fluttershy.

>After a few seconds, Pinkie rapidly shakes her head no, and Fluttershy looks down, sad.

>D'awww, whatever she said no to, it makes ya disappointed.

>Fluttersad isn't a fun sight.

>She walks away, and Pinkie makes her way to the front door.

>In moments, she's up the stairs, door thrown on the floor.

>"I'm BAAAAACK!"

"Whoopee."

 

>After good amount of work, the door is up and functioning.

>You give it a few swings, and a slam.

>Closed.

>Perfect!

"Well, that about does it!"

>You get up and stretch, that was a good bit of work.

>"Thanks Anon, it looks super duper perfect!"

>She bounces happily.

>"Follow me, I wanna give you something!"

>You sure hope it's your pay so you can leave.

>She trots downstairs, and you follow.

>Waiting down there are the Cakes, with, amazingly enough, a cake.

>Written ever so lovingly on the cake...

>You haven't a fucking cue.

>You can't read their writing!

>Let alone cake-writing.

>You smile, thanking them for the delicious food.

"So, Pinkie..."

>She turns to you.

"Where's my pay?"

>She giggles lightly.

>"Silly filly, that IS your pay!"

>Fucking shoot me now.

 

>You walk back to your house as the sun goes down, cake in tow.

>Or 'your pay' as Pinkie calls it.

>As you make it to your front door, you notice something odd.

>A note!

>You pick it off the door, and walk inside.

>Dropping the cake on the table, you sit down.

>Let's see this note...

>'Dear Anon, I tried to find you today, but Pinkie said you were nowhere to be found, and I didn't want to be a bother, and I just was wondering maybe if you could possibly fix something at my house maybe. -Fluttershy'

>Oh, of course!

>Wait, she asked Pinkie where you were?

>Then what you saw today...

>That lying fuck!

>You nom a piece of cake while contemplating.

>Damn this cake is delicious!

>Those Cakes know how to, well, make a cake.

>Taking another bite, you come to a stop.

>You drop your fork.

>You don't feel too...

>*thunk*

>Your head hits the table as you pass out.