Miscast - Chapter 1

>Day 1 in Equestria

 

>Also happens to be Hour 1.

>And Minute 1.

>Peeling your face off the wooden floor, you mourn the loss of your Pepsi.

>You imagine the sweet taste of it's carbonated glory, feeling it slip away as you see the can empty onto the floor.

 

>You are also being stared down by a lavender horse and a short lizard.

>It's kinda weird.

>You look up at them, which from the level your face is to the ground, is possible.

>The horse looks at you with what looks like fear.

>You can tell it's emotions? It's a freakin' horse!

>"..."

"..."

>"..."

>The three of you stand/lie down in silence. You figure you can toss out an icebreaker.

"...hell-"

>"SWEET CELESTIA IT TALKS!!!" The purple one reels back into the wall, scurrying away from you.

>It hyperventilates as it stares at you.

>Are you that ugly?

>More importantly, it too is talking.

>To be honest, you'd be freaking out right now if it wasn't for your years of internet conditioning.

>You're pretty sure you've read a poster telling you what to do in this exact situation.

 

>You slowly get up, the lizard slowly backing away from you.

>Everytime you move you swear the horse-thing is going to pass out.

>You brush yourself off of floor-dust.

"Hello."

>Instead of full freak out, you're met with a shrill shriek and flailing...foot pillows...in your direction.

>That's an improvement, you suppose.

>The short lizard manages to respond first.

>"...hey there..."

>You smile at him.

"Nice to meet ya."

>You're amazing yourself with how well you're handling this situation.

>You chalk it up to these creatures looking so damn...harmless.

>"Spike! Don't talk to it!!!" The horse yells from across the room.

>"Why not? He seems okay to me."

>This kid gets it.

>"We don't know what he is!! My magic may have created some sort of magically irradiated abomination!!"

>This thing pumps maximum crazy.

>Did it just say magic?

>You look over yourself once or twice, for good measure.

"I don't think I'm irradiated. Or that you created me."

>The horse stops violently twitching.

>"Oh...that's disappointing."

>Really? REALLY?

"Yeah, to be perfectly honest, I don't know HOW I got here."

>The horse gets up and walks carefully over to you.

>"Are you...dangerous?"

>She's giving you quite the look.

"Well, you haven't given me a reason to be..."

>No faster than it took you to mutter that, you suddenly get pinned to the floor.

>That horse thing packs a punch!

>You then realize it isn't her pinning you to the ground.

>It looks like purple fairy dust.

>Wat.

 

>You look up to see her forehead glowing.

>Oh wait it's a horn.

>How did you not notice that before?

>She's a unicorn.

>Her horn is glowing the same color as the stuff pinning you down.

>She's mentioned magic.

>Processing...

>...

>Output: She's fucking magic.

>It's also decided you should avoid jokes right now.

>Maybe they don't understand sarcasm.

>Ow that magic is starting to grip tightly.

"*cough* Whoa whoa, I was *hack* joking! Sorry!!"

>She gives you an evil eye.

>"So you AREN'T dangerous?"

"Not in the slightest!!!"

>You aren't kidding. Since when have you been a threat to anyone?

>"Hm...."

>She contemplates her next move.

>"...I ain't buying it."

>Fuck.

>She lifts you up with the magical-ness.

>"Luckily for you, I'm just going to send you back where you came from."

"Oh, that's fine then."

>No complaints here. Crazy psycho magic horse-land wll be fine without you.

 

>"Let me just..."

>Silence befalls the purple equine.

>"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

>This shriek would kill you at close proximity.

>"MY BOOK! MY BOOK MY BOOK MY BOOK MY BOOK!!!"

>You glance down at what she's screaming about.

>The blood of your beloved Pepsi has spilled over her textbook.

>All the ink and lettering has fizzled or washed clean off the majority of the book's pages.

>She has no one to blame but herself.

>"What did you do!!!"

>She frantically levitates you closer to her, smashing her forehead against yours.

>"What did you do to my book!!!"

>Her ear-splitting shouts nearly deafen you.

"It wasn't me! I had a drink and it spilled on your stupid book!"

>She very audibly gasps.

>"STUPID BOOK?! This book was a gift from Princess Celestia, and it's the only way I ca-"

>She stops almost instantly.

>"Princess Celestia! She'll know what to do."

>She rushes over to a table, and begins levitating a feather. She dips it in ink and starts transcribing her thoughts.

>Out loud.

>You have no idea who or what she's talking about. Frankly, you're lost on this whole situation.

 

>You turn your head around to talk to the short lizard thing.

"Hey, little dude, can you tell me what the hell is going on around here?"

>The lizard looks up at you. You can see a hint of fear.

>Doesn't look like fear at you though.

>"Uh, sure...well, I'm Spike."

>Not the most prevalent information you were hoping to attain.

>Bonus points for manners though.

"Nice to meet ya Spike. I'd shake your hand, but..."

>Spike cocks his head to the side.

>"Hand?"

>...fucking really.

"Nevermind. In any case, nice to meet you. Now what are you, anyway?"

>"I should ask you the same thing. You're the weirdest thing I've ever seen, and I've seen Chimeras."

"...I asked first."

>The childish ploy seemed to work.

>He looked like a kid, anyhow.

>"Well, I'm a dragon."

>A goddamn adorable one at that. Look at his widdle dragon tail!

>"And Twilight over there is a p0ny."

>Not far off from your guess.

 

>"QUIET OVER THERE I'M WRITING."

>The p0ny, apparently named Twilight, yells at you two to shut up.

>Spike scoffs.

"She usually this crazy?"

>Spike nods eagerly.

>"She's pretty good about not showing it."

>He laughs a bit when he says this.

>"SPIKE! Send this letter!"

>It flies across the room and smacks him in the face.

>"*sigh* Okay."

>He takes in a deep breath, and suddenly, the letter engulfed in green death flames.

>Well that was...semi expected.

>He is a dragon, breathing fire should be natural.

>Even from a tiny adorable dragon like him.

>When the flames subside, the letter is gone.

>This doesn't surprise you in the least.

>Paper + Fire = GONE

>What does surprise you is when he near immediately burps up another paper.

>Which appears out of fire.

>Welp, now your understanding of physics is shot as well.

 

>He unfurls the letter and begins reading.

>"Dear..uh...insert studen name here? This is an automated message from the desk of Princess Celestia. Due to a...insert disaster here...I cannot reply to your letter at this time. I will be able to reply to your letters until...*sigh*...insert day here. Your Princess, Celestia."

>Twilight does not seem happy at all with this situation.

>In all honesty, neither do you.

>Apparently she could have helped you back to your world!

"Well this is bad."

>You try to elicit a response. Maybe you can start talking peacefully with this p0ny.

>"It's terrible! How could she send such an informal response?!"

>...wat.

>"She didn't even put my name on it! It's like she doesn't care!"

>She apparently thinks that's much more important than dealing with you.

>Glad to see her priorities and mental state are totally normal.

 

>Meanwhile, in Canterlot...

 

>"C'mon, you need to dodge them at the right time!"

>Celestia is scolding her sister, who is holding a PonyBox controller.

>They are playing the hardest game they own, Battlepones.

>"Look, if that stupid bike would slow down I could do this easier!"

>"The bike is fine, you just suck!"

>"You try doing it then, wise-flank!"

>"Fine, ya idiot."

>Celestia takes the controller from her younger sister.

>She starts playing, weaving through the panels with ease.

>Suddenly, letter!

>It pops in front of her face, obstructing her view.

>BOOM!

>Game over.

>"FFFFFFFFF-"

>She tears the letter into pieces.

>Luna just watches.

>...what a scrub."

 

>Back with Twilight and the Gang

 

>"And I STILL have to deal with you."

>Great.

"Look, I'm telling you, I'm not going to hurt anyone, I want to go back as badly as you want me to."

>The little guy chimes in.

>"I think we should listen to him. He doesn't seem bad..."

>This guy.

>This guy gets it.

>"I can't take that chance Spike."

>She glares at you.

>"I'm going to keep you bound until Princess Celestia gets back to me."

>"Look, why don't you just tie him up with rope?" Spike suggests.

>What the hell, man! You thought he was cool!

>"Rope wouldn't work, Spike. We don't know if he has razor sharp claws or super strength!"

>You look down to your soft rounded fingers.

"While I'm flattered at the strength bit, I clearly don't have claws..."

>"I SAID I'M NOT TAKING CHANCES."

>The p0ny plops herself down on the wood floor in front of you.

>"I'm not letting you loose, you hear me?"

>Spike shows some serious concern for this p0ny.

>As he should.

>Bitch is crazy.

>"Uhh Twi, you know that you have to stay AWAKE for the spell to hold?"

>"Don't worry, Spike. I'm certain Celestia will get back to me soon!"

>That sounds suspiciously like desperate frantic confidence.

 

>Hours pass.

>Silent hours.

>You've tried to strike up conversations with it/her.

"So, tell me about yourself?"

>Nothing.

"Uhhhh, nice weather we're having?"

>Still nothing.

>She's just sitting there, staring at you.

>It's kind of creepy.

"Are you just going to stare at me?"

>"Yes."

>...

"Why...?"

>"Partially because I need to concentrate to keep you bound."

>Which she's been doing for the past few hours.

>Honestly impressive.

>"And partially because I have no idea what you are and am getting a good look at you."

>Okay, feelin' a bit violated.

"Why don't you just ask?"

>"Can't trust you. You might try to get me to let you escape."

>She's determined to keep you caught, eh?

>"Look, I'm sorry, but you're an unknown creature. From another dimension."

>You sigh.

"I get it, you don't want any trouble."

>You hear a distinct low rumbling.

>You'd recognize that feel anywhere.

>Hunger.

 

>You just realize you've been floating here for a long time.

>Pepsi-less.

>But more importantly, food-less.

"Twilight."

>No response, of course.

"I have to eat, you know."

>She gasps like before.

>"DO YOU EAT PONIES?!"

>You open your mouth for a smartass remark.

>You then remember you want to still be allowed to eat.

"No, nono, no NO!"

>Please stop being paranoid for a fucking second. You look around frantically for something to point out.

>That apple on the floor looks familiar.

>And delicious.

"I eat apples! Apples are good."

>She magics the apple in the air to your mouth.

>Smells fucking awesome!

>You go to take a bit.

>And she pulls it away.

>OHCOMEON.png

 

>"How do I know apples don't give you super powers or-"

"I NEED TO EAT SOMETHING!"

>That shut her up.

>She finally gets over her paranoia and feeds you a bit of apple.

>Damn that tastes good!

>Either magic spruced it up a bit, or apples here just taste a lot better than normal.

>You smile and have a food-gasm.

>Twilight looks concerned.

>"You okay?"

"Yes, it's just really delicious."

>"Yeah, best apples in Equestria. My friend Applejack grows them."

>Once you've eaten the apple, she levitates the core into the nearby trash.

>Twilight yawns.

>You finally notice how late it is.

>Spike's been long asleep, and she's still here holding you up.

>Damn, she's determined.

>You decide to let her have her way, and you try as hard as you can to fall asleep while upright in midair.

>It's a lot easier than you think.

 

>THUD.

>You collide with the ground.

>Again.

"Auughhh..."

>Still hurts like a bitch.

>You pull yourself to your hands and knees.

>Twilight is passed the fuck out in front of you.

>Guess little dragon dude was right. She couldn't hold it up for too long.

>Now's your chance to escape!

>With a grin an a snicker, you tiptoe your way to the front door...

>And stop.

>This p0ny, while paranoid as fuck, is only trying to send you home.

>You have no idea where you are.

>And if anyone else reacts like SHE did, you may end up dead.

>Against your extreme want to leave, you decide to stay.

>You prop up against one of the walls of the library, and fold your arms behind your head.

>What have you gotten into?

>For the last time that night, you let sleep overtake you.

 

>Day 2 in Equestria