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Pony cuddle (TsundereAnon)

By: Techturbine on Nov 17th, 2013  |  syntax: None  |  size: 4.14 KB  |  hits: 50  |  expires: Never
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  1. >Fuck man
  2. >You can't go on like this
  3. >It's been about 5 months now, being stuck in this stupid ass, rainbow vomit, ponyland with no means of escape or salvation in sight
  4. >Pulled from your comfy home, far away from your family and friends, you can't help but fall more and more into depression
  5. >The ponies here, although nice and friendly, don't make things any better either
  6. >Your depression is blatantly obvious to them, so they keep trying to muddle in your affairs
  7. >Fucking clingy bitches can't keep off your dick for a second
  8. >Walking home from your job at shitcube corner (thanks Ponka), you can't help but feel the stares from all the ponies around you
  9. >Its been months now and they still treat you like a walking side-show
  10. >'Come see the magnificent hairless ape Anon! Watch as he uses his horrifying hands to unclog the sink due to Pinkie-level shenanigans'
  11. >Yeah, real fascinating
  12. >You finally make it to your home, only to see some movement through the draped window
  13. >The same window that didn't have a curtain on it in the first place
  14. >Good job keeping things inconspicuous
  15. >You sigh, knowing the impending forced social interaction that's about to happen
  16. >Bracing yourself, you open the door
  17. >Get on the floor
  18. >To avoid the confetti cannon placed right in front of you
  19. >"SURPRISE!"
  20. >Oh, well isn't this swell?
  21. >Looks like purple smart and the gang is here
  22. >Woohoo
  23. >Twilot walks up to you to begin her pre-scripted speech
  24. >Your not kidding either, she has fucking cue cards and everything
  25.  
  26. >"Listen Anon, I know you miss your old world dearly. And yes, the princesses and I are still trying to figure out a way back. But while we are searching, all you have been doing is avoiding us all, staying holed up all alone in this house. I know that you miss your family, but you really should try to find some sort of comfort in your new environment. And we are more than willing to try and bring that comfort to you, because we care about you Anon. You just need to open up to us, and we promise you will find that we can be just as good a family as your real one back home. Please, just let us help you, we're truly worried about you Anon."
  27. >Wow
  28. >She really is a true friend
  29. >And by "friend," you mean "bitch who has the audacity to say that her little ragtag group of social misfits can replace your true family back home"
  30. >Yeah, it was a nice little speech there, and her feelings do seem genuine
  31. >Horribly, horribly genuine
  32. >But nothing can replace your family back home
  33. >And the fact that she even attempted to do so just rustles your jimmies worse than when you first heard that OJ was innocent
  34. >Luckily they got the grimy bastard second time around
  35. >While lost in your racist thoughts, you fail to notice the 6 mares slowly approach you, as if you were prime prey for hunting
  36. >Eventually, survival instinct kicks in, and you turn downwards to look at the approaching onslaught
  37. >You attempt to take a small step back, but it was too late at that point
  38. >As if they were all connected telepathically, they all jump at the same time, tackling a different part of your body and bringing you to the floor
  39. HEY, GET OFF OF ME OR ILL LACERATE THE LOT OF YA!
  40. >Pinkie just giggles at your death threat
  41. >"No can do, greenie meanie. You've been avoiding us too long now, and we're gonna cuddle all the stress outta ya for good!"
  42.  
  43. >You thrash about, trying to shake em off
  44. >Which doesn't work too well when they each weigh about a hundred pounds each and are all attached to different limbs
  45. THIS IS NON-CONSENSUAL! I'LL HAVE YOU ALL ARRESTED FOR RAPE! HELP! SOMEONE GET THEM OFF OF ME!
  46. >They keep laughing and giggling at you as they all squeeze harder, making sure you can't buck em off
  47. >After what seemed like hours of awe-inspiring struggle worthy of the history books, you eventually give in to the all too fuzzy pony cuddles
  48. >Twilight, who's on your chest, looks up to your defeated form, and asks
  49. >"So Anon, you finally gonna give us a chance?"
  50. >You look at her with a stare that could cause Chef Ramsey to shit his pants
  51. >Sadly, you didn't even have the energy to sustain your anger, so you simply flop your head back and let them cuddle you non-sexually
  52. >It was a shit day today
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