Ch.2: It's Raining Men

>Cherry Berry pulled a cord sending another gout of flame up into the hot air balloon

>With the altitude climbing she glanced at the horizon with a dour frown

>She didn't like what she saw and turned to her passenger

>"Those storm clouds came out of nowhere! Did the weather team have a thunder storm planned that nopony told me about?"

>"Just a moment Berry." Cheerilee muttered around the quill in her mouth

>She jostled the stack of maps and papers in her hooves before propping herself on the lip of the basket with a pair of binoculars against her face

>Below her a clearing in a colorful forest crawled by

>Bright orange, red, and yellow foliage sat ready to drop with the upcoming Running of the Leaves

>"Hmm, that might do," she said to herself, scribbling down a few notes, "but I'd like to keep checking. Can we head a bit east?"

>"Darn it, Cheerilee were you even listening?" Cherry Berry waved a hoof at the approaching thunder heads, "Look!"

>"My goodness, that looks dangerous." Cheerilee tucked her papers back in her saddle bags and peered through the binoculars towards the darkening sky

>"Yeah, we'll have to head back to Ponyville," Cherry Berry began adjusting the magical rudder

>"Oh, can't we go just a little further? The students in the Outdoor Adventurers Club are so looking forward to this field trip. I HAVE to scout a location by tomorrow but I've been so busy lately-"

>"No way, Cherrilee. I'm not flying in weather like this."

>"Phooey. I suppose that's for the best."

>"You've lived in Ponyville your whole life. How do you not know your way through Whitetail Woods?"

>Cherrilee tapped her forehooves together sheepishly, "Well, I've been through parts of it. But, you see I-"

>She was interrupted by something heavy bouncing off the top of the balloon with a loud 'DOONK'

>The craft began to wobble as Cherry Berry pulled on her goggles and wrestled to get control of the ship

>"Hold on!"

>As Cheerilee cowered on the floor of the basket out of the corner of her eye she glimpsed what looked like a big flailing beetle whiz by

>Risking one last glance over the rim of the basket she saw a ruffled hole punched in the tree tops below

>A droning boom of thunder sent her diving to the floor where she stayed until the balloon touched down safely in the town square

 

 

>You lay in the sturdy branch of what you think is a beech tree

>You're not sure, you're busy waiting for your stomach to stop doing somersaults

>As you stare up at the jagged opening in the branches above you, you reflect on your terrific luck with steep falls recently

>Once again your bug out bag has saved your spinal cord

>That bounce helped too

>As you flew past, you had seen it was a hot air balloon you landed on

>You heard someone shout from inside it so that means they might report the collision to the authorities

>That means there might be a search organized

>And that means you have to ditch your gun along with the other less-then-legal items in your bag

>Clambering down the tree you try to get your bearings

>How you had gone from spelunking an underground cave to falling through the skies, you had no idea

>"Maybe that cavern actually lead upwards to the underside of a cliff or something?" you ponder to yourself

>With your map still working it's way through your digestive tract it would be a while before you could consult it

>Glancing around, you see this part of the forest is strange, the trees didn't make any sense

>There were plants growing here that were indigenous to the other side of the country

>White Alder grew next to what you think is Virginia Pine

>Sugar Maples grew near stands of Black Cottonwood which shaded clumps of Periwinkle

>"How very queer." you say, managing to constrain your giggle fit to only a few minutes

>You have no idea exactly where you are but you need to hide the incriminating evidence

>You suppose you could have tumbled out near the east camping grounds given how flat this area was

>Checking your compass, you head south-west hoping to catch the trail

>After several hours of walking there is still no sign of any marked paths

>Fortunately there was no indication that the balloonist had sent out a search squad either

>Better safe than sorry but you were quickly losing light

>Giving up the search for the trail you set up camp for the night

>Exhausted from the day's events you forgo setting up a shelter, building a fire, or even cooking dinner

>Instead you double up your sleeping bag and resolve to dedicate tomorrow to finding a good place to hide your gear

 

 

>As Cherry Berry hopped out of the basket and began fastening the anchor ropes, Cherrilee shakily trotted over to the cafe nearby

>Steadying herself on the counter she waves down the barista

>"Two extra strong chamomile teas to go, please."

>She heads back to the wooden platform where Cherry Berry had finished fastening the balloon and offers her one of the steaming cups

>"Here, it's the least I could do for making you fly us into that mess"

>"Thanks, but it wasn't your fault. Maybe a stray weather pattern broke free of the Everfree. Or maybe the Pegasi teams just got some signals crossed."

>She frowns as she sips her tea "That doesn't explain what hit us, though"

>"Well," Cherrilee began "I thought I saw something fall past us. It had four legs and something on it's back. At least I think it did. It was happened very quick."

>Berry frowned even deeper and her eyes darted suspiciously "Hmm, could've been a griffon. Some of them like to mess with ponies. They can't control the weather on their own, though. Can they?

>"I don't think so. But they do have a working relationship with Cloudsdale,"Cheerilee replied."Maybe one was investigating the storm for the weather team and took the opportunity to play a prank on us."

>Berry's features softened a bit "That makes sense. Dream Weaver flew by while you were in the cafe so I told her about those clouds. She said the weather team had just been dispatched to clear them up."

>"Oh good. I was worried I would have to cancel the trip."

>"No way, my niece has been talking about it for weeks now" Cherry Berry said as she tossed her cap and goggles into the basket

>"Yes, Berry Pinch was one of the first to sign up. Oh my, it's getting late. I need to finish putting the trip together. Thank you for the lift Cherry Berry."

>"No problem. Thanks for the tea" Berry gave her a rare smile and trotted off

>Cherilee turned and headed towards her side of town

>As Luna's moon took it's place in the sky, she reached her modest cottage down the lane leading to Ponyville's schoolhouse

>She could afford better with her salary but she liked to live below her means

>And living in such close proximity to her work was nice

>After striking a long match to light her candelabra chandelier, she tossed her saddlebags on her overflowing desk

>She mixed together a small salad and brought it to her slightly less overflowing table

>Turning on the phonograph in the corner she closed her eyes as the light classical music soothed her nerves from the afternoon's excitement

>Sitting down to her dinner she spread out a map of the area surrounding Ponyville

>Now that she had finally nailed down where to take her students in the Outdoors Adventurers club she could finalize their itinerary

>Whitetail Woods had all the scenic beauty and interesting flora of the Everfree Forest without the dangerous fauna

>Munching on her salad she drew a circle around the general location of the clearing she had spotted

>It would make a good base camp and was within hiking distance of several notable landmarks

>Scribbling a few trails from the clearing into the forest Cheerilee heaved a sigh

>As important as her students were to her, she could think of several things she'd rather be doing than traipsing through the woods all weekend

>Shoving the map off to one side, she pulled out a stack of tests to be graded

>She smiled as she noticed this batch had more checks than X's

>Humming along with the concerto playing she began to think of how she would spend her next free weekend

>Maybe a visit to the spa after work on Friday

>A visit to the new art exhibit on Saturday followed by some light shopping would be lovely

>With the weather as cool as it was, her Sunday would be spent reading a nice big novel in bed

>A few warm cups of Sweet Apple Acre's strongest cider would compliment perfectly

>Setting aside the graded papers, she quickly washed her dishes and got ready for bed

>Any hassle that might come her way this weekend would surely be offset with the promise of some quality alone time next week

>Turning on her bunny rabbit nightlight, she climbed into bed and soon drifted off to sleep

 

 

>Waking early the next day you quickly resume your quest

>About 4 miles on from where you had slept, you hear the sound of rushing water

>Following the noise, you come to a drop leading several meters down to fast moving rapids

>You definitely don't remember there being river in this area

>No matter, you have paraphernalia to hide

>And in the center of the rapids is a small mound of earth overgrown with shrubs

>A perfect stash spot

>That leaves the problem of how to get there

>The water looks too deep and the current is too fast for you swim across

>With the help of a few gulps of booze to get the wheels turning, you look around and begin to formulate an idea

>Shortly, a light bulb goes off above your head accompanied by a loud alcohol belch that burns your nose

>You snatch your axe from your belt and set your plan in motion

>Standing behind a tall dead tree, you check your alignment relative to the tiny islet in the river and began swinging

>After a dozen blows a loud splintering sound is heard as the tree begins to topple

>Hopping out of the way, you cup your hands around your mouth

>"Stampede!"

>No, that's not right

>"Fore!"

>There we go

>The tree bounces as it spans the water and lands on the mound, some branches snapping off and washing away in the rapids

>As you size up your little ersatz bridge you realize you'll never be able to cross it with all your gear on you

>You set your bag on the stump and begin retrieving all the stuff you don't want to be caught with in case the cops show up looking for balloon assailants

>Your rifle and ammo, some black market organs for spares, antique DDT in a convenient spritzer bottle, powdered bald eagle eggs, just various odds and ends really

>When you gather all the items into a small duffel bag and sling your rifle over your shoulder you pull out one last piece of kit

>Being as meticulously safety minded as you were, you wouldn't dream of crossing a raging river, bridge or no, without proper safety gear

>So you quickly deploy your personal water rescue device

>Which was in actuality an inflatable floaty ring in the shape of a rubber ducky

>Leaving your B.O.B. on the stump behind, you begin crossing above the foaming water, the grinning duck head at your waist giving a protracted squeak with every cautious step

>Using the duffel as a counter balance, you cross further away from land and bask in the genius of your plan

>Cross the log, bury your stuff, cross back, push the log into the river to erase all evidence, pick up your cache when the coast is clear

>Simply brilliant

>"My IQ is probably high enough to get me into NAMBLA. I should look into that."

>Your self-adulation is cut short as your next step is met with a loud crack and the tree snaps cleanly in half

>"Yeah, that seems about right," you sigh just as gravity takes hold of you and the duffel flies from your hands

>Falling the fifteen feet to the water, your scream intertwines with a woeful squeak from the inflatable duck before you both slam beneath the surface

>Bobbing back up you sputter for breath and flail you arms in an attempt to control you trajectory

>It's useless as the rapids toss you from side to side while they hurl you down stream

>Hitting the foamy white water you are pulled under the surface again by a whirling vortex

>You feel the inflatable duck ring slip from your waist when you crash against the river bottom

>As your lungs burn for air, you kick off from the bottom and surface just in time to see the duck floating quickly past you

>The traitorous plastic punk hit a small eddy and turns to face you, the rictus painted on it's face seeming to mock your imminent peril

>Pouting as intimidatingly as you can, you raise a fist and shake it at your betrayer

>The duck just drops out of view, as up ahead you can hear the roar of what could only be a waterfall

>Desperately flapping your limbs, you try to swim towards the steep walls of the bank to no avail

>That does it, you have no idea where you are or what is going on, barely had a chance to test any gear, almost died twice, and now were definitely going to die cold, wet, and far from home

>As your body crests the falls you shout what will surely be your final mortal words

>"I THINK I LEFT MY CAR LIGHTS OOOooooonnnn...."

 

 

>Cheerilee woke shortly before sunrise and began loading her saddlebags with all the equipment she'd need for the trip

>After a quick shower she sat at her table with a bowl of oatmeal and went over her checklist

>Sure she had packed everything she trotted down the lane towards the school as the sun climbed in the sky

>The school day passed as it normally does on a Friday, the children paying more attention to the clock than her lessons

>Cheerilee decided to let her students go shortly after lunch; she wanted to get an early start

>"Now class, as some of you know today is the first day of the Outdoor Adventurers Club camping trip. I'd like those of you in the club to stay behind but if the rest of you are finished your assignment you are free to go. Have a good week-"

>The thundering of tiny hooves rattled the building as most of her class bolted out the door, leaving their teacher coughing in the dust cloud they had kicked up

>"-end. Ahem."

>She turned to the remaining foals "I'd like you all to grab your things and meet me outside."

>Standing outside the school house, she lined up the group in front of her

>"I'm going to divide you into pairs for this trip. You are to stay with your partner at all times. We don't want anypony getting lost. When I call your names please say 'here' and pair up. Snips and Snails?"

>"Here!"

>"Heeerre!"

>The colts gave her a quick salute

>"Berry Pinch and Island With A Tree On It?"

>"Here!"

>"Right 'ere, mon!"

>The two fillies bounced around each other giggling

>"Archer and Diamond Tiara?"

>"Here. Um, I think Diamond Tiara is still inside."

>With a sigh Cheerilee headed back into the building to find her missing student

>She knew she would need to keep a close eye on the snooty pink filly for the duration of the trip

>Judging by the debacle Diamond had caused with the Foal Free Press and the incident with Applebloom's cousin it was more likely she would need monitoring for the rest of the school year

>She found the missing filly struggling to drag a massive suitcase across the classroom floor

>"Diamond Tiara? Didn't I tell you to pack only the essentials?"

>Spitting out the handle of her case Diamond turned to her teacher and put on her most effective puppy dog eyes

>"But I did Miss Cheerilee! I only brought two wardrobe's worth of clothes and my smallest recreational anvil. But I suppose your right, I'll just go home to unpack."

>With a theatrical gasp she whirled to face the clock hanging on the wall, "But that would mean I wouldn't have time to catch up with the rest of you before nightfall! Oh no! Well, I suppose I'll just skip this trip and remember to pack lighter next time. Bye Miss Cheerilee! Have fun!"

>Bounding happily towards the door the filly was caught in midair as Cheerilee grabbed her tail with her teeth

>"Nice try Diamond Tiara, but with your grades as low as they've been you need the extracurricular credit. Since the school newspaper is out of the question and you refuse to play sports, taking part in all activities of the Outdoor Adventurers club is really your only hope of passing this year."

>The pink filly huffed as she crossed her forelegs across her chest

>"Come on now, Diamond Tiara. You don't want to be in a different class than Silver Spoon next year, do you? Unpack the things you don't need and come join the rest of us outside"

>With a groan Diamond sifted through her suitcase and, with a much lighter load, went out to stand by Archer

>Making sure everypony had appropriate clothing, a warm hat or a scarf, Cheerilee fastened her own warm downy jacket

>It was a gift from Rarity to apologize for her sister's part in the love poison fiasco last Hearts and Hooves day

>"Okay, my little ponies! Are we ready to get the Outdoor Adventurers Club wilderness exploration extravaganza underway?!"

>She was answered by a quintet of enthusiastic "YEAH!"s and one "Bleugh"

>"Then follow me through town. We'll be heading into Whitetail Woods but first we need to stop by Sugarcube Corner for tonight's dessert."

>To a chorus of "Yay!"s, Cheerilee and her troupe set off down the lane towards Ponyville

>After picking up a few boxes of cupcakes, the group made it's way out of town and into the nearby forest

>As the foals chatted happily amongst themselves Cheerilee checked her map and set off towards the clearing

>It was late in the evening when they reached their camp site

>Cheerilee made quick work of getting everything squared away; helping the children set up their tents, getting a bubbling pot of soup cooking on the fire, issuing a few stern words to Diamond Tiara when needed

>By nightfall the group all sat around the campfire eating dinner

>When everypony was done eating, Cheerilee collected the bowls to be washed and pulled out the two boxes of cupcakes

>"Who's ready for dessert?"

>Hooves shot into the air and the boxes were passed around

>With icing on the tip of her muzzle, Berry Pinch turned to her teacher

>"Where are we going adventuring first, Miss Cheerilee?" she inquired around a mouthful of cupcake

>"Ah, I'm glad you asked," Cheerilee answered as she unwrapped her own cupcake

>"Tomorrow, at sunup, we will be visiting one of Whitetail Woods must stunning natural landmarks; Horsetail Falls!"

 

 

 

>You come to laying half-in, half-out of the river on it's muddy bank

>You stare blearily through half lidded eyes at the dusky sky above you

>Water rushes past your legs and your ears fill with the roar of the waterfall nearby

>Something is digging into your back as you drag your lower half out of the water and slowly climb to your feet

>Pins and needles fire off in your legs as you reach behind you to remove the offending object

>A section of branch was tangled in the strap on your rifle

>With a foggy head, you try to piece together how you could possibly have survived such a drop

>Scanning the cliff the water flowed from, you see several gnarled branches growing out along the falls

>Three quarters of the way down is the snapped branch that must have caught you

>A breeze sweeps by and you shiver violently

>You are soaked to the bone days away from the start of winter and the sun is going down

>If you don't get a fire started soon you'll be in big trouble

>Lurching into the treeline, you begin to gather fallen branches and grass for kindling

>Setting them in a pile you begin to pat your pockets looking for a lighter or some matches

>You find your match case in your vest but note with dismay that most of your pockets had emptied in the river

>In the last of the sunlight, you strip to your boxers and undershirt and huddle next to the fire

>On a flat rock, you lay out what was left in you pockets with trembling hands and hang your wet clothes to dry from branches stuck in the dirt around the fire

>The list of what you had left was short; multi-tool, matches, car keys, and an errant cigar

>With a shuddering sigh you unwrap the cigar and sacrifice a match to light it

>"Mmm! Cool Ranch!"

>The flavor causes a sharp hunger pang in your stomach

>Patting your cramping gut you realize that you had forgotten to eat since your light breakfast days ago

>With all that you've been through since, you really need some food in you before you can climb back up to get your bug out bag

>After your clothes have dried a bit, you grab a log from the fire and begin searching for some wild edibles

>Moving in a large circular path around your fire you give up after several passes without so much as a dandelion to chew on

>Tossing the log back onto the fire you consider your options

>No way are you going to make the trek back up to the stump where you left your bag on an empty stomach

>There doesn't seem to be any plants you can eat growing in this area

>You did see a few rabbit tracks in the dim torchlight however

>Pulling your rifle over, you break open the action and examine the rounds inside

>No good, the 22 seems to have become lodged in the barrel surrounded by caked mud and the 410 you cut was waterlogged

>Hoping against hope, you flip open the cover to the built-in ammo holder on the stock

>Success!

>Fortunately you had waterproofed this little ammo chamber as soon as you bought the gun

>Unfortunately you only had one 410 shell inside

>Your shot would have to count but that cinches it

>Tomorrow you would scour the area around the falls for game

>At sunrise, you were going hunting