Part 1: Oops

By: Tango on May 20th, 2012 | syntax: None | size: 8.29 KB | hits: 107 | expires: Never

download | raw | embed | report abuse | print

This paste has a previous version, view the difference.

Text below is selected. Please press Ctrl+C to copy to your clipboard. (⌘+C on Mac)

>smiling, you lower goggles onto your face and situate yourself in the door
>the wind is whipping around the cabin, just like it always does
>you get a thumbs-up from the pilot, and you take a deep breath and jump
>it's a gorgeous day for skydiving
>the only thing that could be better is that cloud front that rolled in
>then again, the turbulence was your favorite part
>the force from the air zipping past your face is distorting your massive shit-eating grin into a grimace
>but that's okay, because you're up in the air, and your buddy is a dozen yards away, preoccupied with his altimeter
>you start rolling around like a drunk on a slip n' slide, doing little stunts to-
>BOOM
>you're nearly blinded as the lightning shoots past you, leaving your jimmies in a rather large rustle
>your grin has disappeared
>you turn face-down again to see where you're going
>hey what's that weird-looking cloud we're heading towards?
>don't know brain... is that thing glowing a bit?
>yeah, it is... let's go check it out
>your arms tuck into your sides and your feet straighten behind you
>you can feel yourself gathering speed and getting buffeted around by the turbulence
>you hit the cloud face-first and feel like you've been plugged into one of those lightning-ball-lamp things
>BOOM
>another lightning bolt materializes next to you, this time curving directly in front of you
>...and you shoot through where it was without a hitch
>wait, did you just fly through it and see dubstep for a second?
>you chalk it up to nerves
>fuck, it's dark down here
> BOOM BOOM BOOM
>fuck, why did a lightning storm have to kick off now?
>you keep falling, zooming left and right in a feeble attempt to avoid more lightning bolts
>glancing at your altimeter, you pull the primary chute handle and are jostled heavily as the parachute opens
>you take in the landscape as best you can, searching for a small field or clearing to set down in
>hey brain, look- there's lights over there, let's land next to them
>okay man, sounds good, now hurry up so we can get out of this lightning storm
>you're on the ground, taking the harness off and making sure the canopy doesn't blow away
>once that's done, you look to the skies, watching for your buddy to come down
>you don't see anything
>suddenly, voices behind you draw your attention
>”Hey pal, what's the big idea? You trying to get yourself killed?”
“nah, just picked the wrong day to skydive,” you say as you look over your shoulder, seeing a herd of ponies staring at you
>what? Where are the people?
>”What the blistering fuck is skydiving?” one of them asks, ruffling his... wings?
>brain. What the hell is this.
>”Better question,” he says. “What are you, and why are you screwing up the storm? We had to call off the lightning so you could get your monkey ass on the ground.”
“I'm a human. I jumped from a plane and fell from the sky. Not much more to tell.”
>the winged p0nies grumble amongst themselves and take off, heading straight for the gathering storm
>you decide to pack up your shit and head for the town, hoping your brain will sort itself out on the way
>walking into town, the other p0nies are trying to hide from the strange biped that fell from the sky
>you can't blame them
>suddenly, a pair of striking blue eyes fills your vision and is accompanied by a whiff of cotton candy
>this pair of eyes is owned by a bouncing ball of pink
>”HI MY NAME'S PINKIE PIE AND I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE YOU MUST BE NEW IN TOWN OOH OOH OOH I NEED TO INTRODUCE YOU TO EVERYPONY AND HAVE A WELCOME PARTY AND...”
>she grabs you and drags you off towards a tree, still ranting enthusiastically
>dear god, your ears are starting to bleed
>several minutes go by and you're still being manhandled along the road by a ball of pink with a mouth capable of going Mach 7
>the tree comes into view, and as the two of you climb the steps to the front door, it flies open
>in the doorway is a purple unicorn
>”This is my friend, Twilight Sparkle! She's the smartest mare EVER!” your pink guide exclaims
>”Hi! We were wondering when you were going to show up,” Twilight says, beaming
>you're still somewhat in shock from all the Pinkie Pie
“...”
>”Well, come on in and meet some of my friends at least,” Twilight chuckles
“Um.. Okay, I can do that.”
>she leads you inside the tree, and you nearly shit your pants at all the books
>rounding a corner, there's five other p0nies waiting for you
>the first one to speak, for some reason, wears a hat
>”Twi, this one looks weird. Lahk someone done shaved a diamond dog and stuck 'im in clothes.”
>you don't know what a diamond dog is, but this sure as hell sounds like banter
“At least I'm not wearing a silly-looking hat, ya hick,” you retort
>the stare-off lasts another few seconds before she laughs
>”name's applejack,” she says, offering her hoof
>without hesitation, you bump it with your fist
>the introductions continue
>the cyan one with a rainbow for hair is Rainbow Dash. How original. She seems cool enough.
>the white unicorn, Rarity, looks interested in your parachute. And disgusted at the rest of you.
>there's a yellow flying p0ny in the back, hiding behind the others
>she's aptly named Fluttershy
>”So, what are you? And how did you get here?”
>oh boy, questions from Twilight.
“I'm a human. My name is Anonymous, Anon for short. As for how I got here, it's a long story.”
>the next few minutes are spent explaining your sport of choice in detail, and your most recent jump
>Rainbow Dash is awestruck, Twilight starts firing questions at you, and the rest of the group is silent
>”Why would you jump from that high? Is it safe? How did you get up there?”
>you hold up your hand, momentarily silencing her
“I'll explain later, Twilight.”
>then it hits you- you're in a different world or something, and you have nowhere to stay
>you're not about to stay out in the storm, either
>fuck that noise
“Is there a hotel in town, somewhere I can stay for a while?”
>Twilight starts beaming again
>”Of course! You can stay here,” she says
>oh boy, you're in for some interrogation later
“That sounds great, thank you.”
>conversation turns to your life back home, and you explain as best you can
>you tell them about your job as an auto shop manager, how your parents footed the bill for your first chute, and the few friends you had before their careers called them away
>then it was only you, and you spent your weekends jumping as much as you could
>and now you're stuck here in Bumfuck, Horseland, with no discernible way to get home
>oh well, you had long since given up being attached to places or people
“And that's about all there is, really.”
>Dash had been paying rapt attention to your explanation of skydiving
>”Anon, you're going to show me how this thing works,” she tells you, poking a hoof at your chest
>”Yes, I'm sure we all would like to see you in action,” Twilight adds
“Well then. Looks like I'm going for a jump tomorrow.”
>the p0nies decide to go home and get some sleep after giving you one last welcome
>you turn in as well, wondering how the hell this happened
>oh well, only thing to do is just go with it- there's not much choice in the matter
“Wait, how am I going to get up there?” you ask, confused
>*rewind*
>you had spent the night at Twilight's place (on the floor, in a pile of blankets- the bed was TINY) and woke up with kinks in your neck
>luckily, some stretching and a little magic work by Twilight took care of it
>you had packed your chute after checking thoroughly for tears, twists, and tangles
>and now you're standing in a small field outside Ponyville with the group
>”Easy! I'm gonna pick you up and fly your pasty ass up to however high you jump from, and let you go,” Dash exclaims
>damn, she seems cocky
“Rainbow, I don't know if you can pick up a hundred and ninety pounds and carry it to thirteen thousand feet. You're tiny.”
>wait, is she glaring at you?
>”ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW.”
>oh shit
>she zips over to you, and the next thing you know you're hurtling upwards at warpspeed
>oh shit, you're already at altitude
>OH SHIT SHE JUST DROPPED YOUR ASS
>you quickly regain composure and orient yourself
>looking to your left, you see Rainbow keeping pace easily, and you decide to have a little fun

create a new version of this paste RAW Paste Data

>smiling, you lower goggles onto your face and situate yourself in the door
>the wind is whipping around the cabin, just like it always does
>you get a thumbs-up from the pilot, and you take a deep breath and jump
>it's a gorgeous day for skydiving
>the only thing that could be better is that cloud front that rolled in
>then again, the turbulence was your favorite part
>the force from the air zipping past your face is distorting your massive shit-eating grin into a grimace
>but that's okay, because you're up in the air, and your buddy is a dozen yards away, preoccupied with his altimeter
>you start rolling around like a drunk on a slip n' slide, doing little stunts to-
>BOOM
>you're nearly blinded as the lightning shoots past you, leaving your jimmies in a rather large rustle
>your grin has disappeared
>you turn face-down again to see where you're going
>hey what's that weird-looking cloud we're heading towards?
>don't know brain... is that thing glowing a bit?
>yeah, it is... let's go check it out
>your arms tuck into your sides and your feet straighten behind you
>you can feel yourself gathering speed and getting buffeted around by the turbulence
>you hit the cloud face-first and feel like you've been plugged into one of those lightning-ball-lamp things
>BOOM
>another lightning bolt materializes next to you, this time curving directly in front of you
>...and you shoot through where it was without a hitch
>wait, did you just fly through it and see dubstep for a second?
>you chalk it up to nerves
>fuck, it's dark down here
> BOOM BOOM BOOM
>fuck, why did a lightning storm have to kick off now?
>you keep falling, zooming left and right in a feeble attempt to avoid more lightning bolts
>glancing at your altimeter, you pull the primary chute handle and are jostled heavily as the parachute opens
>you take in the landscape as best you can, searching for a small field or clearing to set down in
>hey brain, look- there's lights over there, let's land next to them
>okay man, sounds good, now hurry up so we can get out of this lightning storm

>you're on the ground, taking the harness off and making sure the canopy doesn't blow away
>once that's done, you look to the skies, watching for your buddy to come down
>you don't see anything
>suddenly, voices behind you draw your attention
>”Hey pal, what's the big idea? You trying to get yourself killed?”
“nah, just picked the wrong day to skydive,” you say as you look over your shoulder, seeing a herd of ponies staring at you
>what? Where are the people?
>”What the blistering fuck is skydiving?” one of them asks, ruffling his... wings?
>brain. What the hell is this.
>”Better question,” he says. “What are you, and why are you screwing up the storm? We had to call off the lightning so you could get your monkey ass on the ground.”
“I'm a human. I jumped from a plane and fell from the sky. Not much more to tell.”
>the winged p0nies grumble amongst themselves and take off, heading straight for the gathering storm
>you decide to pack up your shit and head for the town, hoping your brain will sort itself out on the way

>walking into town, the other p0nies are trying to hide from the strange biped that fell from the sky
>you can't blame them
>suddenly, a pair of striking blue eyes fills your vision and is accompanied by a whiff of cotton candy
>this pair of eyes is owned by a bouncing ball of pink
>”HI MY NAME'S PINKIE PIE AND I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE YOU MUST BE NEW IN TOWN OOH OOH OOH I NEED TO INTRODUCE YOU TO EVERYPONY AND HAVE  A WELCOME PARTY AND...”
>she grabs you and drags you off towards a tree, still ranting enthusiastically
>dear god, your ears are starting to bleed
>several minutes go by and you're still being manhandled along the road by a ball of pink with a mouth capable of going Mach 7
>the tree comes into view, and as the two of you climb the steps to the front door, it flies open
>in the doorway is a purple unicorn
>”This is my friend, Twilight Sparkle! She's the smartest mare EVER!” your pink guide exclaims

>”Hi! We were wondering when you were going to show up,” Twilight says, beaming
>you're still somewhat in shock from all the Pinkie Pie
“...”
>”Well, come on in and meet some of my friends at least,” Twilight chuckles
“Um.. Okay, I can do that.”
>she leads you inside the tree, and you nearly shit your pants at all the books
>rounding a corner, there's five other p0nies waiting for you
>the first one to speak, for some reason, wears a hat
>”Twi, this one looks weird. Lahk someone done shaved a diamond dog and stuck 'im in clothes.”
>you don't know what a diamond dog is, but this sure as hell sounds like banter
“At least I'm not wearing a silly-looking hat, ya hick,” you retort
>the stare-off lasts another few seconds before she laughs
>”name's applejack,” she says, offering her hoof
>without hesitation, you bump it with your fist
>the introductions continue
>the cyan one with a rainbow for hair is Rainbow Dash. How original. She seems cool enough.
>the white unicorn, Rarity, looks interested in your parachute. And disgusted at the rest of you.
>there's a yellow flying p0ny in the back, hiding behind the others
>she's aptly named Fluttershy

>”So, what are you? And how did you get here?”
>oh boy, questions from Twilight.
“I'm a human. My name is Anonymous, Anon for short. As for how I got here, it's a long story.”
>the next few minutes are spent explaining your sport of choice in detail, and your most recent jump
>Rainbow Dash is awestruck, Twilight starts firing questions at you, and the rest of the group is silent
>”Why would you jump from that high? Is it safe? How did you get up there?”
>you hold up your hand, momentarily silencing her
“I'll explain later, Twilight.” 
>then it hits you- you're in a different world or something, and you have nowhere to stay
>you're not about to stay out in the storm, either
>fuck that noise
“Is there a hotel in town, somewhere I can stay for a while?”
>Twilight starts beaming again
>”Of course! You can stay here,” she says
>oh boy, you're in for some interrogation later
“That sounds great, thank you.”

>conversation turns to your life back home, and you explain as best you can
>you tell them about your job as an auto shop manager, how your parents footed the bill for your first chute, and the few friends you had before their careers called them away
>then it was only you, and you spent your weekends jumping as much as you could
>and now you're stuck here in Bumfuck, Horseland, with no discernible way to get home
>oh well, you had long since given up being attached to places or people
“And that's about all there is, really.”
>Dash had been paying rapt attention to your explanation of skydiving
>”Anon, you're going to show me how this thing works,” she tells you, poking a hoof at your chest
>”Yes, I'm sure we all would like to see you in action,” Twilight adds
“Well then. Looks like I'm going for a jump tomorrow.”
>the p0nies decide to go home and get some sleep after giving you one last welcome
>you turn in as well, wondering how the hell this happened
>oh well, only thing to do is just go with it- there's not much choice in the matter

“Wait, how am I going to get up there?” you ask, confused
>*rewind*
>you had spent the night at Twilight's place (on the floor, in a pile of blankets- the bed was TINY) and woke up with kinks in your neck
>luckily, some stretching and a little magic work by Twilight took care of it
>you had packed your chute after checking thoroughly for tears, twists, and tangles
>and now you're standing in a small field outside Ponyville with the group
>”Easy! I'm gonna pick you up and fly your pasty ass up to however high you jump from, and let you go,” Dash exclaims
>damn, she seems cocky
“Rainbow, I don't know if you can pick up a hundred and ninety pounds and carry it to thirteen thousand feet. You're tiny.”
>wait, is she glaring at you?
>”ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW.”
>oh shit
>she zips over to you, and the next thing you know you're hurtling upwards at warpspeed
>oh shit, you're already at altitude
>OH SHIT SHE JUST DROPPED YOUR ASS
>you quickly regain composure and orient yourself
>looking to your left, you see Rainbow keeping pace easily, and you decide to have a little fun

Pastebin.com Tools & Applications

iPhone/iPad

Windows

Firefox

Chrome

WebOS

Android

Mac

Opera

Click.to

UNIX

WinPhone