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AiE: Friendship is Science Chapter 3

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AiE: Friendship is Science
By TakeTwentyTwo
Previous chapters can be found @ http://pastebin.com/u/TakeTwentyTwo
Chapter 3 -
(In which our consummate hero meets his greatest nemesis)
I could have ruled the world. She needed me to rule her. And I would have succeeded a hundred times over if it wasn't for that damnable Pinky.
T. Brain
>Day 6
>So this probably isn't a dream now.
>Over the past four days Twilight has helped you to settle in to this strange new world. She and Applejack had helped you take as much of your old stuff as you could salvage from the clearing and hauled it back to the Library.
>More survived than you had initially expected, with your bed, desk, bookcase, and most of your clothes surviving after a thorough cleaning (you had thrown away everything in the hamper on general principle). Twilight had let you set up your bed and books in an old scroll storage facility she had cleared from beneath the main library floor. She had done her best with another drying spell for your bed but it was still hard to sleep when everything around you smelled like wet mold and mushrooms.
>Your electronics seemed to be worst for wear, with your iPod and tablet completely trashed, but amazingly the one thing you were still holding out hope for was your computer. If your computer still worked then everything else would be fine. Even your books being destroyed wouldn't be such a big deal; you could reverse engineer most of what they said from old homework files on your computer. Even your porn folder would be a huge relief after nothing but horse plot for four days.
>"Can I stop yet?" a voice in the corner of the room whined.
>Before you could look at your adult times folder you would need to work out a way around that problem. But it could wait, back to work.
>The emergency power supply had been totally burned out, but when you had opened up your baby everything else seemed to be fine. The tower case had seemed to protect the hard drive and motherboard, so you were currently praying that a fuse had tripped before any damage could be done.
>"Come on, I have been in this thing ever since lunch. I need a break," you ignored the voice say.
>Hoping that you could treat your power strip cord as a kind of voltage regulator (at least you hoped it wouldn't let any more damage occur), you had jury rigged it to the back of your computer where you were currently watching your monitor flicker on and off.
>The main problem after you discovered your computer wasn't destroyed was how to get electricity to your PC. Most of Equestria seemed to work on a combination of magic and nature. The street lamps had at first excited you with what you had assumed was electricity but when you had examined them closely the light was all coming from a collection of fireflies. Other utilitarian tools had all turned out the same way in a very Flintstonesque way of life for these ponies, which lead you to a very large problem: how to invent electricity in a magical world.
>"This is soooooooooo boring, and I'm tired. Twilight never makes me do anything like this."
In the end you had decided that low tech was the way to go which was why Spike was now running in a make-shift hamster wheel. The wheel was hooked up to a gear chain that lead to a magnet that was spinning around a metal tube which lead to wires, which were connected to your power strip, WHICH THEN lead to your computer. Instant electricity in a magic world. Too bad it was Spike powered, you would need to go through your computer chemistry files and reinvent a battery before you could look at your porn folder. No way were you masturbating with a tiny dragon watching.
>Spike was huffing and puffing, and could not seem to go more than 2 minutes without offering up another complaint.
If you had been willing to do any work at Applejack's Twilight wouldn't have sent you back here. And run at a steady pace, with only a rough memory of some old physics and no voltmeter it will be a miracle if this works.
>"Whatever, I was over there all morning and all they wanted to do was talk about some stupid dance tickets."
>Over the next hour you continue to make progress on what will make you the most powerful human in all of Equestria, when the scent of mold fades away. You were wondering how long it was going to take for you to get used to the terrible smell (answer: only slightly shorter than the time it would take to drive you insane), when a new scent comes in to overpower it. It smells kind of like a circus or state fair from when you were a kid, with a mixture of licorice (red not black) and funnel cake. Behind all of this is the unmistakable scent of cotton candy.
>You stand up and look down at days of work. The computer has finally started to boot up; now nothing will get in your way now. A world without science, a world that has no idea of benzene or electronics, a world stuck in the dark ages. You will be like a god. Gunpowder, the atom, physics of the siege engine, and the entire strategic works of Total War: Shogun 2! This Celestia character worried you a little, but you doubted anything could really control the sun. Probably some primitive God-King scam she had going.
>You turn around to look at Spike when a flash of pink catches your eye. Whirling around you see a pony that you have never been introduced to before. It looks much different than the two ponies that you have seen before, with a tangle of hair that looks like it lives off of abandoned hair brushes. Twilight and Applejack both seem to be very "together" ponies that had a certain kind of fresh presence. This creature has both a wild and exhilarating aura. Kind of like schizophrenia in a can the size of a pony. The smell of nostalgia hits you again (how did you not notice that more prominently before), and you take a step back.
How did you get in here!?
>You were sure that you had locked the door after Twilight had dropped Spike off.
>"Ohhh, what's this?" the pink pony pokes at your mess of wires and plastic.
Don't touch that!
>"So, where's Twilight? I figured I would come over here and convince her to give me Gala tickets with a party but she doesn't even have the decency to show up for her own celebration. I don't think someone like that would have a good time at the one and only Grand Gala." The pink menace continues to prod your 3 days of hard work.
Could you stop that?
>"I don't know, I guess so." She continues to push the wires apart trying to get a closer look at the inside of your computer.
STOP IT THEN!
>"You didn't ask me that before, you asked if I had the ability to stop which I did, or I guess I do. I still continue to have the ability to stop. How does this work anyway?"
If you stop moving things around I promise to tell you...
>The pink pony immediately freezes mid prod and looks up at you. Her blue eyes follow you around the room as you walk up to Spike who is still running with a glazed look. Maybe you have been running him too hard; he seems to have not even noticed the whirlwind of pink.
This is Spike, he is...
>"Ohh, I know him, he's Twilight's pet dragon. He is kind of like my pet, which also looks like a dragon, but is not. A dragon that is. He just looks like one."
Uhh, OK. Well, Spike is making power so my "magic box" will turn on and answer questions. When he runs around the wheel, that makes this magnet rotate around this...
>"What kind of questions?"
Are you going to keep interrupting me?
>"Probably. So what kind of questions?"
Well at its most basic, all questions can be reduced to math. This device uses math to answer questions and serves as reference as well.
>"Like what?"
Well like math questions that I can't do in my head or on paper in any appreciable amount of time. For example complex derivates or square roots. I can do simple things like multiplication, but without log tables even statistics will be a nightmare. I can't even do roots like 62185.3969^1/2 without wasting time I could better spend elsewhere.
>The pink pony starts to vibrate with an audible hum. You have never seen a pony act this way before and start to get worried before a large ding makes your ears ring. Smoke comes out of her ears and she smiles.
>"Two hundred forty nine point three seven."
Exactly, something like that would take me forever. If I can just get my computer running again, there is almost no limit to what I can do.
>Right as you start to notice something is very wrong with the world, you are distracted by Spike slumping over and falling out of the wooden wheel.
>"I can't run one more step, I don't care what you tell Twilight. Hey, Pinkie."
Oh no oh no oh no oh no. Just when I got it working.
>You look over as your monitor fades. Well no big deal, you will just have to wait until Spike gets some rest.
>"Don't worry, I can do it!" The pink pony jumps on top of the wheel and starts to run as fast as she can. The monitor comes back to life and starts to get brighter and brighter.
AHH, TO FAST TO FAST!
>Ignoring you, Pinkie (fuck it tired of writing pink pony over and over again) picks up speed until you see the cords literally bursting with sparks of blue electricity. A large pop rings out right as the wooden wheel flies apart with wooden shrapnel flying all across the room.
>"You were right Spike, that IS hard work." Pinkie says to the room as she wobbles and falls over.
>Terrified you run over to your computer. As you look inside, a tiny fire breaks out and consumes everything. The motherboard is a black husk. Your hard drive spun itself apart and apparently rotated so hard it ricocheted off the tower and into the wall of your room.
>In a flash all your dreams have gone up in smoke. You don't know how long you will be here. Twilight had no idea how to send you back. Your porn. All your porn. Gone.
>"I think I'm gonna go try and find Twilight at Rarity's. I'll see you later Mr. Science Guy." Pinkie trots off thru the door and swings it shut behind her. You notice that the lock is turned.
>You fall back next to Spike and let out a sigh.
How long have you lived with these ponies?
>"I've only known Pinkie a few days longer than you, but I have a feeling it doesn't get a whole lot easier." Spike says with a groan.
Pinkie? Her name is Pinkie?
>Now you will have to start from the bottom up. No fancy computer for you. You suppose you will have to get Twilight to magic up some glass ware for you.
Spike, I think I have a new goal.
So a day late and a dollar short. It is kinda hard to write these to any kind of standard I am happy with, but still a lot of fun. A question for anybody that is willing to answer: how long does it take to write a normal chapter? Took me 3 days to write 5 pages... Well I guess that could have something to do with starting over three times.
I like the way I am kind of following the episode pattern from the series (any excuse to rewatch every episode) and will probably stick to that format. Let me know what you think. Anyway----
Stay tuned for our exciting next episode:
AiE: Friendship is Science
Chapter 4
Equine Estrus and Excrement (Wow that sounds WAYYY worse than in my head, I promise 0% coprophagia)
(And Please, Please, Please include me in the actives Filly, I'll do better I swear!)

create a new version of this paste RAW Paste Data

AiE: Friendship is Science
By TakeTwentyTwo

Previous chapters can be found @ http://pastebin.com/u/TakeTwentyTwo

Chapter 3 - 
(In which our consummate hero meets his greatest nemesis)

I could have ruled the world.  She needed me to rule her.  And I would have succeeded a hundred times over if it wasn't for that damnable Pinky.
T. Brain
 
>Day 6
>So this probably isn't a dream now.
>Over the past four days Twilight has helped you to settle in to this strange new world.  She and Applejack had helped you take as much of your old stuff as you could salvage from the clearing and hauled it back to the Library.
>More survived than you had initially expected, with your bed, desk, bookcase, and most of your clothes surviving after a thorough cleaning (you had thrown away everything in the hamper on general principle).  Twilight had let you set up your bed and books in an old scroll storage facility she had cleared from beneath the main library floor.  She had done her best with another drying spell for your bed but it was still hard to sleep when everything around you smelled like wet mold and mushrooms.  
>Your electronics seemed to be worst for wear, with your iPod and tablet completely trashed, but amazingly the one thing you were still holding out hope for was your computer.  If your computer still worked then everything else would be fine.  Even your books being destroyed wouldn't be such a big deal; you could reverse engineer most of what they said from old homework files on your computer.  Even your porn folder would be a huge relief after nothing but horse plot for four days.
>"Can I stop yet?" a voice in the corner of the room whined.
>Before you could look at your adult times folder you would need to work out a way around that problem.  But it could wait, back to work.
>The emergency power supply had been totally burned out, but when you had opened up your baby everything else seemed to be fine.  The tower case had seemed to protect the hard drive and motherboard, so you were currently praying that a fuse had tripped before any damage could be done.
>"Come on, I have been in this thing ever since lunch. I need a break," you ignored the voice say.
>Hoping that you could treat your power strip cord as a kind of voltage regulator (at least you hoped it wouldn't let any more damage occur), you had jury rigged it to the back of your computer where you were currently watching your monitor flicker on and off.
>The main problem after you discovered your computer wasn't destroyed was how to get electricity to your PC.  Most of Equestria seemed to work on a combination of magic and nature.  The street lamps had at first excited you with what you had assumed was electricity but when you had examined them closely the light was all coming from a collection of fireflies.  Other utilitarian tools had all turned out the same way in a very Flintstonesque way of life for these ponies, which lead you to a very large problem: how to invent electricity in a magical world.
>"This is soooooooooo boring, and I'm tired.  Twilight never makes me do anything like this."
In the end you had decided that low tech was the way to go which was why Spike was now running in a make-shift hamster wheel.  The wheel was hooked up to a gear chain that lead to a magnet that was spinning around a metal tube which lead to wires, which were connected to your power strip, WHICH THEN lead to your computer.  Instant electricity in a magic world.  Too bad it was Spike powered, you would need to go through your computer chemistry files and reinvent a battery before you could look at your porn folder.  No way were you masturbating with a tiny dragon watching.
>Spike was huffing and puffing, and could not seem to go more than 2 minutes without offering up another complaint.
If you had been willing to do any work at Applejack's Twilight wouldn't have sent you back here.  And run at a steady pace, with only a rough memory of some old physics and no voltmeter it will be a miracle if this works.
>"Whatever, I was over there all morning and all they wanted to do was talk about some stupid dance tickets."
>Over the next hour you continue to make progress on what will make you the most powerful human in all of Equestria, when the scent of mold fades away.  You were wondering how long it was going to take for you to get used to the terrible smell (answer: only slightly shorter than the time it would take to drive you insane), when a new scent comes in to overpower it.  It smells kind of like a circus or state fair from when you were a kid, with a mixture of licorice (red not black) and funnel cake.  Behind all of this is the unmistakable scent of cotton candy.
>You stand up and look down at days of work.  The computer has finally started to boot up; now nothing will get in your way now.  A world without science, a world that has no idea of benzene or electronics, a world stuck in the dark ages.  You will be like a god.  Gunpowder, the atom, physics of the siege engine, and the entire strategic works of Total War: Shogun 2!  This Celestia character worried you a little, but you doubted anything could really control the sun.  Probably some primitive God-King scam she had going.
>You turn around to look at Spike when a flash of pink catches your eye.  Whirling around you see a pony that you have never been introduced to before.  It looks much different than the two ponies that you have seen before, with a tangle of hair that looks like it lives off of abandoned hair brushes.  Twilight and Applejack both seem to be very "together" ponies that had a certain kind of fresh presence.  This creature has both a wild and exhilarating aura.  Kind of like schizophrenia in a can the size of a pony.  The smell of nostalgia hits you again (how did you not notice that more prominently before), and you take a step back.
How did you get in here!?
>You were sure that you had locked the door after Twilight had dropped Spike off.
>"Ohhh, what's this?" the pink pony pokes at your mess of wires and plastic.
Don't touch that!
>"So, where's Twilight?  I figured I would come over here and convince her to give me Gala tickets with a party but she doesn't even have the decency to show up for her own celebration.  I don't think someone like that would have a good time at the one and only Grand Gala." The pink menace continues to prod your 3 days of hard work.
Could you stop that?
>"I don't know, I guess so." She continues to push the wires apart trying to get a closer look at the inside of your computer.
STOP IT THEN!
>"You didn't ask me that before, you asked if I had the ability to stop which I did, or I guess I do.  I still continue to have the ability to stop.  How does this work anyway?"
If you stop moving things around I promise to tell you...
>The pink pony immediately freezes mid prod and looks up at you.  Her blue eyes follow you around the room as you walk up to Spike who is still running with a glazed look.  Maybe you have been running him too hard; he seems to have not even noticed the whirlwind of pink.
This is Spike, he is...
>"Ohh, I know him, he's Twilight's pet dragon.  He is kind of like my pet, which also looks like a dragon, but is not.  A dragon that is.  He just looks like one."
Uhh, OK.  Well, Spike is making power so my "magic box" will turn on and answer questions.  When he runs around the wheel, that makes this magnet rotate around this...
>"What kind of questions?"
Are you going to keep interrupting me?
>"Probably.  So what kind of questions?"
Well at its most basic, all questions can be reduced to math.  This device uses math to answer questions and serves as reference as well.
>"Like what?"
Well like math questions that I can't do in my head or on paper in any appreciable amount of time.  For example complex derivates or square roots.  I can do simple things like multiplication, but without log tables even statistics will be a nightmare.  I can't even do roots like 62185.3969^1/2 without wasting time I could better spend elsewhere.
>The pink pony starts to vibrate with an audible hum.  You have never seen a pony act this way before and start to get worried before a large ding makes your ears ring.  Smoke comes out of her ears and she smiles.
>"Two hundred forty nine point three seven."
Exactly, something like that would take me forever.  If I can just get my computer running again, there is almost no limit to what I can do.
>Right as you start to notice something is very wrong with the world, you are distracted by Spike slumping over and falling out of the wooden wheel.
>"I can't run one more step, I don't care what you tell Twilight.  Hey, Pinkie."
Oh no oh no oh no oh no.  Just when I got it working.
>You look over as your monitor fades.  Well no big deal, you will just have to wait until Spike gets some rest.
>"Don't worry, I can do it!" The pink pony jumps on top of the wheel and starts to run as fast as she can.  The monitor comes back to life and starts to get brighter and brighter.
AHH, TO FAST TO FAST!
>Ignoring you, Pinkie (fuck it tired of writing pink pony over and over again) picks up speed until you see the cords literally bursting with sparks of blue electricity.  A large pop rings out right as the wooden wheel flies apart with wooden shrapnel flying all across the room.
>"You were right Spike, that IS hard work." Pinkie says to the room as she wobbles and falls over.
>Terrified you run over to your computer.  As you look inside, a tiny fire breaks out and consumes everything.  The motherboard is a black husk.  Your hard drive spun itself apart and apparently rotated so hard it ricocheted off the tower and into the wall of your room.
>In a flash all your dreams have gone up in smoke.  You don't know how long you will be here.  Twilight had no idea how to send you back.  Your porn.  All your porn. Gone.
>"I think I'm gonna go try and find Twilight at Rarity's.  I'll see you later Mr. Science Guy."  Pinkie trots off thru the door and swings it shut behind her.  You notice that the lock is turned.
>You fall back next to Spike and let out a sigh.
How long have you lived with these ponies?
>"I've only known Pinkie a few days longer than you, but I have a feeling it doesn't get a whole lot easier." Spike says with a groan.
Pinkie?  Her name is Pinkie?
>Now you will have to start from the bottom up.  No fancy computer for you.  You suppose you will have to get Twilight to magic up some glass ware for you.
Spike, I think I have a new goal.


So a day late and a dollar short.  It is kinda hard to write these to any kind of standard I am happy with, but still a lot of fun.  A question for anybody that is willing to answer: how long does it take to write a normal chapter?  Took me 3 days to write 5 pages...  Well I guess that could have something to do with starting over three times.  
I like the way I am kind of following the episode pattern from the series (any excuse to rewatch every episode) and will probably stick to that format.  Let me know what you think.  Anyway----
Stay tuned for our exciting next episode:
AiE: Friendship is Science
Chapter 4
Equine Estrus and Excrement (Wow that sounds WAYYY worse than in my head, I promise 0% coprophagia)

(And Please, Please, Please include me in the actives Filly, I'll do better I swear!)

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