The Mjögre (Shrek)

>Don't think I forgot about this one in Requestria.

>As you sit on the couch eating some Cheese Horns, a knock is heard on your door.

>Put the bowl down on the table and head over to open the door.

>When you do, you see a little box there.

"What's this?"

>Bend down and open it up to see a picture of Chrysalis posing seductively as she... Chews on the head of a deceased animal.

"Yeah no."

>Slam the door shut and turn around.

>"Hello Anonymous."

>Chrysalis out of nowhere.

>Get scared.

>Almost shit pants.

>Being completely terrified makes you swing your arm in reaction.

>It seems as if it's in slow motion as your fist connects with her jaw in a massive right hook.

>She falls to the ground dazed.

>Quickly run out of the house and sprint into town.

"Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit!"

>An explosion is heard.

>Turn around.

>Chrys now hovers in the place your house used to be, now just a pile of ash.

"OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT!"

>From the sound of the buzzing you hear you can tell she's catching up.

>Suddenly you get an idea.

>Run into the market and into the food section.

>Grab a bag of onions and turn to face your foe.

>She doesn't stop, despite what weapon you have against her.

>Instead of throwing them down, you accidentally drop the bag.

"FUCK!"

>Swiftly grab one and take off running with it.

>The path you are following leads you to the Everfree forest.

>"ANONYMOUS HOW DARE YOU STRIKE ME WHEN NOT HAVING SEX?!"

"I TOTALLY DIDN'T MEAN IT!"

>You look back to check if she is still there when you run right into something hard.

>Fall back on your ass grabbing your stomach.

>Then look up at what you ran into.

>The fucking statue of Nightmare Moon.

>Wonderful.

>Chrysalis lands behind you.

>"Oh my gosh are you alright Anonymous?"

"My stomach really-"

>"IS WHAT I WOULD HAVE ASKED IF I WASN'T ABSOLUTELY LIVID!"

"Look I'm sorry that-"

>Her shocked expression cuts you off.

>Follow her eyes to the broken onion on your chest.

>Oh no.

>It must have broke when you collided with the statue.

>The stench of onions intensifies and in comes Shrek from the trees.

>He looks at the situation and glares at Chrysalis.

>Then without a word points his hand in a direction.

>...

>Deep in the jungle lies a secret chamber.

>Inside the chamber past all the booby traps is what ponies thought to be a statue of some sort.

>A green hammer with long cylinder green ear like things.

>The handle is layered many times by a white fabric.

>It is... The Mjögre.

>It shakes a little bit in place and then lifts into the air.

>Then it flies through the walls of the temple and into the forest.

>Zecora is adding the last few drops to a potion.

>"This potion will grant a pony to be tremendously lucked."

>She begins squeezing.

>"But if too many drops are added then I will be royally-"

>The hammer smashes through the window and knocks the entire container into the mix.

>A huge explosion covers the area and leaves in it's remains a covered in smut Zecora and an empty cauldron resting on a lone spire in the middle of a crater.

>"...fucked."

>As Fluttershy talks to the butterflies, they all fly away.

>"O-Oh please don't go!"

>They do not listen and leave her.

>"Was it something I said?"

>Just then the hammer comes flying into her stomach and smacks her onto a tree, knocking her out.

>It's been a few minutes and an explosion noise later, and Shrek is still holding his hand out just staring at Chrysalis.

>"Anon what's he-"

>Just then a green hammer that has ogre ears and appears to have an onion handle flies into his hand.

>He walks over to Chrysalis and swings it, sending her flying into the forest.

>Then he offers you his hand which you accept.

"Thanks Shrek!"

>"Any time lad."

>He holds the hammer to the sky and a green lightning bolt strikes it, making him disappear.

>Looks like Chrysalis should have checked herself.

>You watch as all the trees she has crashed through begin falling over, revealing what seems to be a straight line across miles.

>And now she's Shrekked herself.