- >What just happened in Equestria
- >You wake up in the morning and don't feel like P Diddy because that's ogreused
- >Shuffling into the bathroom and grab the razor
- >You head into the shower with it because that's just the kind of man you are
- >Shave and then finish your shower
- >That's strange...no shit today
- >You put back the razor and get dried off and dressed
- >There's a knock on the door
- Fuck! I didn't even get to eat!
- >You storm down the stairs and fling open the door
- >It's Fluttershy
- >And she looks worried instead of rapey
- What's wrong?
- >"You have to come quick! There's something in the market!"
- >She grabs your arm and pulls you behind a building next to the market
- >"It...it's over there..."
- >She pokes her head around the side of the wall and then pulls back immediately
- >You look out and see nothing
- Where?
- >"R-right there..."
- >She points to an onions rolling on the ground
- >Oh yeah
- >These ponies have been traumatized by Shrek to the point where they will all run away if an onion is present
- >Sucks
- >You walk out there and pick up the onion
- Everything's fine! It's just an onion!
- >The strong smell of onions punches you in the face, knocking you down and out
- >When you finally open your eyes, the ground feels...different
- >It's all...swampy
- >You stand and in fact are right
- >The town has turned into a swamp
- >The buildings are still there but are corroded
- Jesus how long was I out...
- >You walk through the swampy ruins of the town
- >There is a wheezing noise coming from the alley to your right
- >You turn and see a shrivelled up Fluttershy sitting against the building looking up at you
- >"A-Anon..."
- >You kneel down to eye level with her
- What...what happened to you?
- >"They c-came...Shrek...and Donkey...they...did this to the town...and me..."
- >She coughs hard and a clump of gooey blood flies out
- Fluttershy you have to stay with me!
- >She looks at you and smiles
- >Then her eyes go glazey and she slumps against the wall lifelessly
- >She keeps the smile
- >A single tear runs down your face
- Damn it...SHHREEEEEEK!
- >The smell of onions trails into your nose
- >You stand and look to your left outside of the alley
- >You see Shrek with a slice of onion on his eye on and Donkey there in front of him
- You...you did this.
- >Donkey laughs
- >"And just what are you gonna do about it?"
- >You clench your fists
- I won't let you...get AWAY WITH THIS!
- >You begin screaming as loud as you can
- >It worked in DBZ so you might as well t-
- >Holy guacamole...
- >The ground begins to shake and tiny pebbles start floating
- >Donkey's mouth drops while Shrek just watches
- >The puddles of water ripple and then some of the buildings begin to crack
- >You stop screaming because your throat hurts and suddenly you feel much stronger now
- >You look down at your pulsating arms and then up at Donkey
- >He turns to shrek
- >"Shrek! What does the scouter say about his power level?"
- >Shrek takes it off and holds it in his hand
- >"IT'S OGRE NINE THOUSAND!"
- >He crushes the onion and eats it
- >Donkey's eyes practically fall out of his head
- >"WHAT?! NINE THOUSAND?! THERE'S NO WAY THAT CAN BE RIGHT! CAN IT?!"
- I think it's right. After all I learned how to do this from an anime show.
- >Donkey looks at you
- >"That thing's a piece of junk anyways Shrek!"
- >He rushes at you while Shrek just shakes his head
- >He gets up close and you swing your leg at his neck, snapping it and killing him instantly
- >Shrek looks at you
- >Then at Donkey
- >And back to you
- >"How would you like to be my new sidekick?"
- >Sidekick of Shrek?
- FUCK YEAH!
- >"Get ogre here."
- >You run over to him and you set off on the most wonderful journey to find those that forgot to check themselves
- >And making sure they get shreked
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Sidekick (Shrek)
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