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Fucking Rarity (Shrek)

By: Swift_M0nkey on Jul 22nd, 2013  |  syntax: None  |  size: 2.23 KB  |  hits: 109  |  expires: Never
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  1. >Ruined in Requestria.
  2. >This is it.
  3. >The final few hundred pieces.
  4. >It's taken you nearly five years to complete this puzzle with one hundred fifty million pieces.
  5. >Ponies gather around as you work on the paved ground.
  6. >Piece by piece and it's almost complete.
  7. >The last one is in your hand.
  8. >Until a certain voice hits your ears.
  9. >"Oh Anonymouuuus!~"
  10. >Turn to see Rarity walking over.
  11. >"My gosh Anonymous you have got to stop being such a colt and come live with me like a stallion would."
  12. "I don't like you like that Rarity. Told you this multiple times."
  13. >"What is it? Why don't you like my tush?"
  14. >She shakes her marshmallow colored ass at you.
  15. >"Is because I'm fat? Ugly?"
  16. >Continue looking at a piece trying to figure out where it goes.
  17. >"YOU THINK I'M UGLY AND FAT?!"
  18. "What?!"
  19. >"You didn't respond! So that means you didn't disagree! So you hate me because I'm ugly and fat huh?! Then fine. Fuck you!"
  20. >The piece you hold glows bright red and turns to ash.
  21. >It was...
  22. >The last one...
  23. >...
  24. >Look up at Rarity.
  25. "HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO FINISH THIS PICTURE OF HITLER WITHOUT THE MIDDLE OF HIS MUSTACHE?!"
  26. >She looks down at the rest of the puzzle.
  27. >"I can help."
  28. >All of it turns to ash.
  29. >You stop everything.
  30. >Stop breathing.
  31. >Stop moving.
  32. >And look at her.
  33. >She feels a little uneasy about your stare.
  34. "You deserve the worst of punishments."
  35. >Pull out an onion from your pocket.
  36. "A Shreksecution."
  37. >Put it on the ground and grab Rarity's hoof, smashing down on the onion with it.
  38. >Suddenly the sky turns green and the clouds part to show an onion carriage riding down to the ground.
  39. >It lands and Shrek walks out of it.
  40. >"Which one of ya did it?"
  41. >You raise your hand and then point to Rarity.
  42. >He walks over to her.
  43. >...
  44. >All of you stand in a crowd around a stand in the plains.
  45. >Even Princess Celestia knows not to mess with onions.
  46. >So she does nothing as Shrek violently rapes Rarity's asshole until she bleeds out.
  47. >He then nods to you and gets back in his carriage.
  48. >As he takes to the sky, you look back at Rarity's corpse.
  49. >Looks like she should have checked herself.
  50. >Shrek exits the planet and the sky goes back to normal.
  51. >And now she's Shrekked herself.
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  55. I still don't understand how this got me banned.
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