Bridle Gossip (Now with Anon)

If you are the kind of person who wants to compare this to what happened in the show then here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLfxgnUiQ5M

 

>Day gossiping bitches in Equestria

>Your face hits something hard and you open your eyes

Good morning to you too floor.

>You stand up

>Spike doesn't wake up but Twilight is sitting up looking at you

>Ts: "Are you okay?"

I guess.

>That's right

>You live with Twilight because she's the only logical pony in this crazy horse world

>Well most of the time

>As long as she doesn't get too worried she's fine

Gonna go do my routine m'kay?

>She nods and slips out of the covers

>You go into the bathroom and get on the toilet to shit

>Twilight trots in

Twilight! What are you doing?!

>Ts: "Taking a shower...why?"

>You bury your face in your hands

Twilight...I'm trying to take a shit here.

>Ts: "Is that like a private thing where you're from?"

YES. GET OUT.

>Ts: "Fine geez Mr. Grumpypants..."

>She walks out and closes the door behind her

>You are about to release when it opens again

>She walks back in and gets in the shower

Twilight you have no idea how close I am to-

>Your voice is hidden behind the sounds of water blasting out of the shower

>Fine. This bitch wants it? Give it to her

>You unleash your shit into the toilet

>Damn wish they had meat here

>You be eating waaay too much fiber

>It comes out like water

>You wipe and leave without flushing

That'll teach a bitch.

>Spike yawns and stretches out

>He looks up at you

>S: "Hey."

Sup man. Hey how do you even sleep like that?

>He looks at his circular bed

>S: "I know it doesn't look like much but it's comfortable."

>There is a scream from the bathroom followed by coughing

>You walk in

Maybe you should let me have some privacy next time!

>Ts: "Oh screw off Anon! Just flush the damn toilet!"

Why can't you just do it with magic?

>She stares at you

>And squints her eyes

>The toilet handle slowly lowers and it flushes while she keeps the eye contact

K bye.

>You walk back out and head downstairs for some breakfast

Okay Twilight usually cooks food up in a few minutes so it can't be that hard right Spike?

>He shrugs

>Being master chef Anon, you manage to burn every single food item available

>Even the juice

>Twismite hit you hard as shit on the head when she got out of the shower and had to army crawl to the kitchen because of the crazy amounts of smoke

>Bitch...at least Spike liked it

>Now you're walking with them to the market

>But it seems different

>Really empty

Hey Twilight...notice anything different about P0nyville today?

>Ts: "Oh not a single thing!"

>She looks at you and blinks slowly while frowning

Okay you sarcastic grouch. Why you so mad today?

>Ts: "You're the one that shit in the bathroom when I was trying to take a shower!"

Hold on a second there, you walked in on me!

>Ts: "You could have held it!"

>Spike's voice snaps you and Twilight out of your argument

>S: "Where is everyp0ny?"

>You realize how close your face is to Twilight's and you pull away

>She blushes a tiny bit

>Ts: "That's a good question Spike."

>S: "Is it some sort of p0ny holiday?"

>Ts: "Not that I know of..."

>You watch as some ponies close their curtains or drag their children inside

>S: "Does my breath stink?"

>He breaths fire and smells the smoke

>Ts: "A little more than usual."

>She gives you a dirty look

>You blow her a raspberry

>S: "Is it...ZOMBIES?!"

No you'd see them if there were...

>They both ignore you

>Ts: "Uh, not very likely."

>S: "Not likely...but possible?"

>You pass in front of SugarCube Corner

>?: "PSST! Anny and Twi! Get in!"

>It's Pinkie

>She's hiding

Wazzaaap Pinkie?

>Pp: "Shut up! Get in before she gets you!"

>You shrug to Twilight and step inside

>Pinkie closes the door behind you three

>S: "Who? The zombie pony?"

>Pp: "Zombie pony?!"

>Spike grabs hold of Twilight's neck hard

>You shake your head and chuckle

>Ts: "Spike there are no zombie ponies! Pinkie, what are you doing here alone in the dark?"

>Pp: "I'm not alone in the dark."

>Your eyes adjust at that instant and you see the rest of the mane six and Applebloom

>Fluttershy is eyeing your crotch

>It begins...

>Ts: "Okay then what are you all doing here in the dark?"

>Aj: "We're hidin from hur!"

>Haha...hur

>She moves the curtain aside and points through the window to a harmless looking cloaked pony digging at the ground

Who's that?

>They ignore you again

Seriously guys. Seriously.

>They all duck away from the window except you and Twilight when the mysterious pony looks over

>Ab: "Didja see her Twilight? Didja see...Zecora?"

>Aj: "Applebloom! Ah told you to never say that name!"

>Ts: "Well I saw her glance this way..."

>Pp: "Glance eeeevily this way!"

>Twilight pushes Pinkie away

>Ts: "And then a bunch of you flip out for no good reason."

>Aj: "No good reason? You call protecting yer kin no good reason? Why as soon as mah little sister saw Zecora riding into town, she started shaking in her little horseshoes!"

>You imagine Nike's on a horse

>Except the check is a horseshoe

>Heh

>Oh no! Looks like you missed out on some dialogue! What is there to do?!

>Eh who gives a hoot

>Ab: "Applejack! Ah'm not a baby! Ah can take care of mahself!"

>Aj: "Not from that creepy Zecora."

>Fluttershy, who has been secretly rubbing her vagoo against your knee as you sit the entire time, speaks

>Fs: "She's mysterious..."

>Rd: "Sinister..."

>Pp: "And spoooooooky!"

Okay let me interrupt for a second.

>They all look at you

Have any of you ever talked to her?

>Aj: "Now why would we risk our lives doin that?"

So you haven't even talked to her?

>Pp: "Never!"

How do you know if she's a bad pers-um pony then?

>Rd: "We uh...we just DO Anon!"

Okay let me school you a second on humans. We're curious.

>R: "Curiousity killed the cat."

>Fs: "Oh no! Poor Opal!"

>Hand, meet face

Anyways...curiousity does not always kill the cat. In this case it could save the town.

>Ts: "Good! Finally somepony with some sense around here!"

Not a pony.

>Ts: "Whatever!"

I'm going out there to talk to her.

>Before you move, Rainbow gasps

>Rd: "Look!"

>You all look out the window and see her take off her hood

>She's a zebra

>All the ponies except Twilight gasp

>R: "Just look at those stripes! So garish!"

She's a zebra.

>All the ponies and Spike in unison say: "A what?"

>Twilight rolls her eyes at their stupidity

>Ts: "A zebra! And her stripes are not a fashion choice Rarity, they're what she was born with."

>Rarity falls over

Drama queen...

>Aj: "Born where? Ah've never seen a pony like that in these parts, 'cept huurrrr."

>She points away from the window when she says that

>Why she did, dunno ask Hasbro

>Ts: "Well she's probably not from here. And she's not a pony. My books say that zebras come from a far away land, but I've never seen her in Ponyville. Where does she live?"

>Aj: "That's just it...she lives in the...EVERFREE FOREST!"

>Some pots and pans crash in the kitchen from Spike, startling everyone

>Ya know except you

>Because you're cool like that

>You just had a vicious hiccup that's all...

>Ts: "Spike!"

>S: "Uh, sorry."

>Aj: "The Everfree forest just aint natural, the plants grow-"

>Fs: "The animals care for themselves-"

>Rd: "And the clouds move-"

>All three in unison: "All on their own!"

>Rarity faints again

>Seriously she's gonna get some fucking head trauma or something

So basically it's the norm in my universe...

>Twilight gasps

>Then hits you

>Ts: "You would tell me information like that when I don't have anything to write on...jerk."

>Pinkie bounces over to you

>Pp: "And that wicked enchantress Zecora lives there doing her evil...stuff!"

>You interrupt her

Okay I'm out of here this is getting even more and more silly by the moment.

>Ts: "Agreed."

>Pinkie steps in your way

>Pp: "You don't understand! She's soo evil, I even wrote a song about her!"

>Rd: "Here we go..."

>You impatiently tap your foot waiting for her to get out of the way

>Pp: "She's an evil enchantress, she does evil dances, and if you look deep in her eyes she'll put you in trances! Then what would she do? She'd mix up an evil brew, then she'd gobble you up in a big tasty stew so WATCH OUT!"

>Applejack is shaking like she has Parkinson's

>Twilight, Rainbow, and Fluttershy rubbing her snatch on your leg all look up at her when she jumps on the table to finish her song

>Ts: "Wow, catchy."

>Pp: "It's a work in progress."

>Ts: "This is all just a lot of gossip and rumors. Now tell me what exactly have you actually seen Zecora do?"

inb4 nothing actually harmful.

>Ts: "What?"

Oh nothing.

>Rd: "Well...once a month she comes into Ponyville."

>Twilight is back to her bitchy self and makes fun of them

>Ts: "OOH..."

>R: "Then, she lurks by the stores!"

>Ts: "Oh my!"

>Fs: "And then, she digs at the ground..."

>Ts: "Good gracious!"

>Her eyes go derp for a second

>Dafuq Hasbro two mess ups in one episode? Step up your game

>Ts: "Okay, I'm sorry. But how is any of this bad? Maybe she comes to town to visit!"

>Applebloom has joined on Twilight's side

>Ab: "Yeah! Maybe she's just trying to be neighborly!"

>Ts: "And maybe she's not lurking by the stores, she's going to them lurk free, to do some shopping?"

>Ab: "Yeah! Everyp0ny likes to shop! Ya know what I think-"

>Aj: "Applebloom! Hush and let the big p0nies talk.

>She mutters something as she walks away

>You sit at a table and put your head down

>And pass out

>For not that long though

>Applejack's shout for Applebloom wakes you as they are all leaving

>Twilight looks back at you

>Ts: "You coming fucknuts?"

Cool your sauce Twi. I'm sorry I did that to you this morning okay?

>You stand and jog alongside the ponies

>Ts: "I guess I can forgive you..."

>She blushes slightly

>Ts: "But seriously, do that again and I will end you."

Haha good one Twi...

>You look at her

>She has a stone cold serious expression

You uh...weren't joking then...

>You reach the forest and continue running

>Aj: "Applebloom!"

>The cloaked zebra and turns and sees Applebloom, and Applebloom sees all of you

>Z: "Beware! Beware you ponyfolk! Those leaves of blue are not a joke!"

>She backs away into the mist of the forest

>Aj: "Y-you keep yer creepy mumbajumba to yerself yuh hear?!"

>Rainbow, Pinkie, and Rarity all talk at once

>You can only make out Rainbow and Pinkie though

>Rd: "Was that supposed to scare us?

>Pinkie is singing her song again

>Ts: "Oh brother..."

>Fluttershy picks one of the blue flowers you all are standing next to and holds it up to you

>Fs: "For you, my love."

>You smack it away

I'm not your love Fluttershy.

>She tackles you in the blue flowers

>Fs: "Yes you are...Anon, my hot monkey...you just don't know it!"

I'm not yours and I'm not a damn monkey!

>Twilight takes notice and magics you up

>Ts: "Now is not the time for that Anon..."

But-

>Z: "Beware!"

>Rd: "Yeah, back atcha Zecora! You and your lame curser are the ones who better beware!"

>Applejack turns her head to Applebloom

>Aj: "And you! Why couldn't you just listen to yer big sister?"

>Ab: "Ah...Ah-"

>Aj: "Who knows what kinda nasty curse Zecora coulda just put on you!"

>Pp: "Just like in my song!"

>She jumps through the flowers

>Pp: "Evil enchantress! With the dances! And the trances!"

Really you guys? You really believe any of that stuff is real? If she's really a wicked enchantress then why didn't she just melt us or turn us to frogs?

>Rd: "Because she wants to watch us SUFFER!"

>You sigh

>Ts: "You guys, there's no such thing as curses!"

>Rainbow flies through the blue leaves

>Rd: "Well that's interesting to hear coming from miss magicpants herself."

>She pokes at Twilight's horn

>Ts: "My magic, real magic, comes from within. It's a skill you're born with. Curses are artificial, fake magic."

>You and Rainbow make blah blah blah motions with your mouths

>Ts: "It's conjured with potions and incantations, all smoke and mirrors meant to scare. Curses have no real power, they're just an old pony tale!"

>You all start walking back

>Aj: "Just you wait Twilight. Yer gonna learn that some pony tales really are true..."

>You walk back home with Twilight after picking up Spike

>She tosses and turns in her sleep, pushing you off the bed

Fine asshat...

>You look for a comfortable place to sleep

>No where...

Great...

>Then you see Spike in his circular bed

I guess I have to...

>You walk over to it and curl around the outside of it

>Damn this thing is soft as hell!

>You fall asleep instantly

>Joking day in Equestria

>You wake up to a scream

>You let go of Spike's bed and roll over

>See Twilight staring at her forehead

>Stand up

What's up Twi?

>Ts: "My horn!"

>It's floppy like a dick

>You burst into laughter, waking Spike

>S: "Hey...what's all the commo-"

>He sees Twilight's head penis

>S: "HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

>You and Spike roll around on the ground laughing

>Ts: "This isn't funny! I think Zecora cursed us!"

>You sit up

Us?

>She points to your ass

>You turn and see a monkey tail

Huh...

>You grab it

>And yelp in pain

Yup that's mine...

>You waddle over to the bed in pain

>Ts: "Well it makes sense for her to make my magic powerless but why give you a tail?"

Is that a retorical question or do you actually care about what I'm going to say this time?

>She walks past you and down into the Library

>Ts: "It doesn't make sense!"

>You turn to Spike

Don't you hate it when she talks to herself while looking at you?

>S: "It gets pretty annoying. But I get her back sometimes..."

Oh really? How?

>S: "Like adding doodles to the letters she tells me to write. I mean she has magic, she can just levitate that stuff but she calls me to do it."

>A devious smile stretches across your face

What did you draw?

>S: "Well one time, I drew this really detailed picture of Celestia masturbating..."

>You start laughing

And you sent it to her?!

>S: "Yup! The nasty part is that she sent one back...and it had a picture, like actual picture, of Twilight masturbating."

How did you know it was a real one?

>S: "I could see myself sleeping in it."

Eww...maybe we should go help her with the books and stuff?

>S: "Yeah."

>You jump off the bed and walk downstairs

>She's throwing books and stuff around still talking to herself

>Spike finds a book almost instantly

>S: "A curse!"

>She looks at him like he's retarded

>Ts: "I said a real reason. Something that points to something real!"

>He presents to her the book

>S: "How about this one?"

>Ts: "Supernaturals? Spike, the word supernatural refers to things like ghosts and spirits and zombies, which are as makebelieve as curses! This book is just a bunch of hooey!"

>You ignore their conversation and head into the kitchen

>The only food there is fruit because you brutally burned everything else

>You grab a banana

>Squeezing the bottom, it flies out of the top and you catch it in your mouth

>S: "That was awesome!"

>Ts: "How did you do that?"

It's just a banana...relax.

>Ts: "Anywho, Spike there's no way that this is-"

>Pp: "A ppuurrthhth!"

>You turn and see Pinkie with an enlarged tongue

Hahaha!

>S: "A purse? How could it be a purse?"

>Ts: "Pinkie! What happened?"

>Pp: "Thit thas thicowa! Thee thut tha purrthhth thon uth!"

>She spits all over Spike

>S: "Hey! Say it don't spray it Pinkie!"

>There is a bang on the window

>Rainbow is smashing against the wall and window trying to get inside like a fucking moth

>Rd: "She's-"

>Rainbow smacks against the window

>Rd: "Trying to say-ow-"

>She smashes against the wall

>Rd: "Zecora-Uh-"

>She breaks down the door and comes flying in

>Rd: "She slapped us all with a-"

>She smashes against the bookshelf and gets stuck in the ladder

>Rd: "Curse!"

>You can now see that her wings are on upside down

>Why didn't she just walk in?

>R: "I'm afraid I have to agree."

>You look over and see a white and purple thing with long hair

AHHH! KILL IT!

>You run over and kick it to the ground

>It's hair moves to the side on the ground and a pair of flaming eyes stare back up at you

Oh...sorryRaritygottagotothebathroom!

>You run upstairs only to be dragged back down by a blue aura

>Rarity levitates you in front of her

>You turn and whip her with your tail

>She whines and drops you

>R: "So I'm not the only one having a bad morning then?"

>She says as she rubs her snout where you smacked her

>There is a tiny voice

>Aj: "Ah hate to say Ah told you so Twilight! But Ah told you so!"

>It's applejackmini riding on Applebloom

>Twilight and Spike gasp

>Aj: "It's a curse Ah tells ya!"

>Ts: "But...Fluttershy seems just fine!"

>When the fuck did she even get there

>She's hiding behind her mane and looking away from everyp0ny

>R: "Yes! There doesn't seem to be a thing wrong with her."

>Ts: "Fluttershy? Are you okay?"

>She turns her head and closes her eyes

>Ts: "Is there something wrong with you?"

>Fluttershy nods

>Ts: "Would you care to tell us?"

>She says in an abnoxious tone

>Fluttershy just closes her eyes tight

>Ts: "So you're not gonna tell us?"

>She nods

>Ts: "Yes you're not or yes you will?"

>Fluttershy shakes her head

>MiniApple runs along the table next to her

>Aj: "Good gravy girl! What's wrong with you?!"

>Fluttershy turns away

>Fs: "I don't wanna talk about it."

>Her voice is the deepest guy voice you have ever heard

>You and Spike burst into laugher for a second time today

>S: "This is hilarious! Look at all of you! We got: Hairity, Rainbow Crash, Spitty Pie, Appleteeny, Flutterguy, and...ehh..."

>He stops at Twilight

>S: "I got nothin. Twilight Sparkle, I mean seriously can't even work with that."

Twilight Flopple!

>You and Spike roll around on the ground laughing again

>Ts: "Hehehe, this is no joke you two. Spike start looking for more books so I can find a cure!"

>As she speaks her head dong wiggles around causing you and Spike to smile again

>Spike groans and walks back to the pile of books

>Rainbow pulls herself out of the ladder and flies up

>Rd: "I think we'll find the cure to this curse at Zecora's place!"

>Ts: "It's not a curse!"

>Rainbow flies into a bookshelf

>Aj: "Ah agree with Dash, we'll go to Zecora and force her to remove this hex!"

>Ts: "It's not a hex either!"

>She shakes her head and her horn slaps against her forehead causing you to laugh

>Ts: "Shut up Anon!"

>Flutterguy approaches you

>Fs: "My my...now I really can have your hot monkey [spoiler]dock.[/spoiler]"

>Fluttershy + that voice + seduction = scared Anon

>You jump across the room and hold on to the tallest bookshelf

>Flutterguy flies up to you

>Fs: "I know you want this Anon...I know."

>You grab her by the hair with your foot and throw her

>Everyp0ny is watching your epic battle to save your pone virginity and they don't see Applebloom slip out with MiniApple hiding in her mane

>You grab her when she flies at you again and take her to the ground

>She flips you on the bottom before you hit the floor

>Rarity's magic stops the both of you

>R: "This is no time for that Anonymous..."

But-

>Rd: "I don't care what you say Twilight, it's time to p0ny up and confront Zecora! Come on girls! Are you with me?!"

>Pp: "I emmpthh!"

>R: "And I as well."

>Fs: "I don't know...seems awfully dangerous."

>Spike laughs at her voice but you can't anymore after having it trying to rape you

>Rd: "How about you Applejack? Applejack?"

>She is nowhere to be seen

>Pp: "Thees gone!"

>R: "Ahh! Somep0ny stepped on her!"

>They all check their hooves while you check your hands and feet

>Twilight's eyes shrink and her ears flatten as she looks at her butt

>Ts: "Or sat on her!"

>Everyp0ny is looking at their asses now

>Spike is getting a sneek peek at Rarity's treasure by hiding in her hair as she turns and sways her hips

>You on the other hand, have Flutterguy backing you into the wall

>Fs: "Anon, don't be afraid. Just reach down there and see if she...slipped in."

>You climb the bookshelf again

>Rd: "Rarity's hair!"

>Pinkie sticks her head through Rarity's mess of a hair and pulls out Spike

>She keeps searching as Spike inches over to the pile of books blushing

>Then she pulls her head out

>Pp: "Nope!"

>Ts: "Applebloom is gone too!"

>Rd: "I bet they went after Zecora!"

>Ts: "Well we better go find them!"

>Rainbow faceplants on the ground

>Ts: "Come on girls, let's go!"

>Pinkie is standing on one of Rarity's thick dreadlocks so she can't move

>She tries leaning forward while whining

>Pinkie sees what she is doing and steps off, almost making Rarity trip

>You jump down and run out, afraid Flutterguy might get the swoop on you

>You jump on top of Rarity and grab the purple hairs on her head

Giddie up!

>She squeals as you kick her sides and she takes off running

>R: "Anonymous! How are you doing this?!"

>You steer her around a crowd of fillies and over a misplaced stack of hay

>R: "Oh my~"

>You pull back on her hair hard when you reach the beginning of the forest

>She kicks back and you fall off her

>R: "That was terribly rude!"

>She gets close to you

>Too close

>R: "Next time, just ask."

>She licks your face

Wait wh-

>The others come running up

>Ts: "How did you get here so fast?"

>You flick the floppy noodle on her head

Magic.

>She huffs and you all continue running in the forest

>You hear Rainbow cry out for help to your left

>You watch as she crashes through a tree and lays in the grass there

>For some reason it feels more natural for you to walk on all fours, bending your knees

>You go over to her like that and pick her up

>MiniApple pops out of her mouth

>Aj: "Rainbow! Anon! Am Ah glad to see you!"

Don't care.

>You grab a tree branch and swing yourself up there with them

>MiniApple is holding on to your tail as you leap from tree to tree and swing from vine to vine

>You land on a wierd looking tree and see Twilight and the rest on one side of it

>You jump down and scare the fuck out of Twi

>Ts: "Anon! What the f-"

>Pinkie puts a hoof to her mouth as Zecora walks in the tree there

Another tree house? Really?

>Zecora empties a cup of something into a pot of bubbling green liquid

>Then starts speaking some weird african shit

>Pinkie springs away from the window

>Pp: "Thee thhrom thy thhong! Thathht evil withchhht!"

>R: "She stole your song?"

>Ts: "Oh Pinkie. That doesn't sound anything like your song."

>Pinkie gets in her face and nods

>Pp: "Hmmm..."

>She slides over to Flutterguy

>Pp: "Thing!"

>Then she looks up at her and gives her the cute eyes

>Nothing in this universe can resist the cute eyes

>Flutterguy sighs

>Fs: "She's an evil enchantress and she does evil dances."

>Pinkie is dancing creepy

>Fs: "And if you look deep in her eyes she will put you in trances."

>Pinkie bulges out her eyes

>Fs: "Then what would she do, she'd mix up an evil brew, and she'd gobble you up in a big tasty stew."

>Pinkie makes the motions of stirring a pot and eating

>Fs: "So...watch out."

>R: "You saw those terrible things, now do you believe us Twilight?"

Why does everyone always ignore me?

>Flutterguy tackles you to the ground, making you drop Rainbow and MiniApple

>Fs: "I don't ignore you..."

>She sits on your chest grinding her pony vag along it

Hey! Get off!

>As you wrestle with Flutterguy they continue talking

>Ts: "Scary looking masks, confusing incantations, and a great big bubbling cauldron? Everything is pointing to Zecora being...bad."

>You finally get Flutterguy off of you and throw her at the tree

>Zecora looks up at the window confused

>Then shrugs and goes back to being weird

>Ts: "Or...what if Zecora's just making soup?"

>Zecora tastes the bubbling green stuff and smiles

>Z: "Mmmm. The perfect temperature for ponies I presume. Now, where is that little Applebloom?"

>Ts: "Or, what if she's making Applebloom soup?!"

>The four ponies begin screaming

>It's really damn weird with Flutterguy's voice

>Rainbow's scream comes out the loudest

>You see MiniApple flying her in the sky

>Aj: "Ah'm coming for you Applebloom!"

>Rainbow crashes through the front door and starts breaking shit while MiniApple lassos Zecora's ear and starts wrestling it

>You and your group come in too

>You jump to a cabinet to stay a safe distance away

>Ts: "What have you done with Applebloom?!"

>Rainbow Crash is still flying around breaking shit

>Zecora tells her to stop in her native tongue

>Rainbow crashes against the pot, knocking it over

>Z: "No! You know not what you do! You've gone and spilled my precious brew!"

>Ts: "We're on to you Zecora, I didn't want to believe you cursed us but the evidence is overwelming!"

>R: "You made me look ridiculous!"

>Fs: "You made me sound ridiculous!"

>Pp: "Pew thtade me theek thithickthulus!"

>Ts: "You ruined my horn!"

>It flops when she says that

>You laugh

>But it doesn't sound like a laugh

>It sounds like a monkey screech

Oh come on!

>Z: "How dare you?! You destroy my home, destroy my work, then rudely accuse me of being a jerk?"

>Rd: "You put this curse on us, and now you're gonna uncurse us!"

>Zecora stomps at the ground

>Z: "It is unwise to venture down this road. Your actions will make my anger explode!"

>Ts: "Where is Applebloom?"

>Twilight steps forward and engages in a round of headbutting with Zecora

>Applebloom steps through the door

>Ab: "Zecora! I think I found all the things you asked for!"

>She sees all of what is happening

>Ab: "What in Ponyville is goin on here?"

>MiniApple gasps

>Aj: "Applebloom! You're okay!"

>Ab: "Why wouldn't I be?"

>Twilight jumps in front of her

>Ts: "Because Zecora is an evil enchantress who cursed us, and was gonna cook you up into soup!"

>Zecora and Applebloom look confused at Twilight

>Then they both start laughing

>Ab: "Oh Twilight! Did those silly billies finally git in yer head? Y'know there's no such thing as a curse."

>Twilight is really trying not to go bitch mode

>Ts: "Applebloom, sweetie, you can't just stand there and tell me this isn't a curse."

>She looks around at all the ponies and then you

>Ts: "Get down from there Anon."

>You jump down and sit on the floor

>Applebloom walks past all of them and goes to Zecora

>Ab: "This isn't a curse!"

>Z: "If you remember back, the words I spoke were quite exact."

 

--el flashback time--

 

>Z: "Beware! Beware you pony folk! Those leaves of blue are not a joke!"

 

--we go back now--

 

>Ab: "It was a warnin! About that blue plant. It's called poison joke."

Like poison oak?

>Z: "It is much like poison oak, but it's results are like a joke."

>MiniApple pushes Zecora's mohawk to the side

>Aj: "What in the hay does that mean?"

>Z: "It means this plant does not bring wrath, instead this plant just wants a laugh."

>Aj: "Will somep0ny please talk normal?"

>Ts: "I think what she's saying is that when we ran in to save Applebloom, we ran into the poison joke! All it's problems are just little jokes it played on us!"

>Aj: "Little jokes?! Very funny."

>Rd: "Okay fine. But what about the cauldron?"

>Fs: "And the chanting?"

>R: "And the creepy decor?"

>Z: "Treasures from the native land I am from. This one speaks hello, and this, welcome."

Why are you talking in rhymes?

>Twilight shushes you

Fine you fat bitch...

>Ts: "What was that?"

I have a bad itch.

>Ts: "Oh."

>R: "Not welcomed at all, if you ask me."

>Z: "The words I chanted were from olden times. Something you call a nursery rhyme."

>Ts: "But...the cauldron...the Applebloom soup?"

>Ab: "Looky here Twilight, that pot of water wasn't for me, it was for all these herbal ingredients!"

>Twilight walks to the open book

>Ab: "The cure for poison joke is a simple ol' natural remedy."

>She holds MiniApple in her hoof

>Ab: "Ya just gotta take a bubble bath!"

>Ts: "But I tried to find a cure in all my books and didn't find anything!"

Not all of them Twilight.

>Ts: "Shush up Anon, the big ponies are talking now."

>You growl at her

>Ts: "What book has this natural remedy?"

>Zecora flips the book shut

>Z: "This is the book you see. Sad that you lack it in your library."

>You look at the book

>It's the same one Spike had in his hands

>Her ears flatten

>Ts: "Actually...I do have this book. But I didn't look inside because the title was so...weird."

>Zecora opens it again

>Twi reads it

>Ts: "Supernaturals. Natural remedies and cure-alls that are simply super."

I TOTALLY FUCKING CALLED THAT!

>Ts: "No one gives a flying fu-"

>She looks at Applebloom

>Ts: "Feather...Anon..."

>You smile to yourself in the corner

>Ts: "I...I...I'm so sorry Zecora. I had the answer the whole time, if only I bothered to look inside."

>Zecora laughs

>Z: "Maybe next time you will take a second look. And not judge the cover of the book."

I for one thought it was the right boo-

>Your mouth is sealed with magic again by Rarity

>Maybe you'll take a shit in her toilet and not flush

>That'll teach her to silence you

>Ts: "Zecora, would you be kind enough to mix up another batch of the herbal bath?"

>Z: "Mix it up I certainly will. Yet I am missing an herb from Ponyville."

>Ab: "But whenever Zecora comes to town all the shops are mysteriously closed."

>Ts: "Oh, well I think we can help you with that."

>Fasting forward

>You walk on all fours behind your group for fear of Flutterguy's deep and scary rape voice

>Daisy points to you all

>D: "Look Rose! How awful!"

>RL: "The wicked enchantress has cursed them all!"

>Lily stands up and screams out

>L: "The horror! The horror!"

Really? Stupid bitc-

>Silenced by Rarity's magic again

>Okay, you're definitely taking a shit in her toilet and not flushing

>They all run away to the buildings

>Twilight knocks on Daisy's store

>She open the door

>Ts: "Daisy, we need to talk."

>Twilight explains the entire thing to her and she goes around telling her friends the truth

>By the end of the next hour, all of Ponyville is okay with having Zecora here

>Gossip is powerful

>You are at the spa and Rarity is sitting in the bath next to Fluttershy

>Twilight is on one corner and dips her head down under

>Pinkie jumps into the water, splashing it everywhere

>You swing from the ceiling and belly flop in

>Rainbow stops dumping herbs in and gets in herself with a relaxed sigh

>You all go back to normal

>Aloe approaches Zecora

>A: "Miss Zecora! I would love to get the recipe for this bath, it's simply luxurious!"

>Zecora is about to speak when Applebloom shouts

>Ab: "Hey! Applejack! Where's Applejack?!"

>Everyone looks around and down in the water frantically

>Ya know except you

>Because you're cool

>You just had an awful cramp, that's all...

>Aj: "Ah'm right here, little sis. Ah aint tiny no more!"

>You look over the edge and see Applejack in a tiny tub of water that doesn't fit her

>R: "Oh! I have never felt so lovely in all my life!"

>Pinkie comes out of the water and splashes it on her

>Pp: "Oh my gosh! I never realized how horrible it is not being able to talk, I mean I love talking so much but I couldn't when my tongue was all-"

>She sticks out her tongue

>Pp: "AAAAH. It was the worst! Don't you agree Fluttershy?"

>All the eyes are on her

>Fs: "Yes."

>Good she's back to normal

>She rubs her ass on your arm

>But it's okay, it's way better than

>Fucking Flutterguy

 

 

 

--The next day--

 

 

>You sneak into Rarity's house early in the morning

>You tiptoe up the stairs and into her bathroom

This'll teach her...

>You release your bowels into the toilet

>Then you put a piece of paper that says "Anon was here." in the toilet and shut the lid

>You sneak down the stairs and await

>About an hour later you hear an alarm go off

Oh this is gonna be gold!

>You grab the camera and walk upstairs

>You walk forward to the bathroom

>Rarity walks out of her room right in front of you and turns to the bathroom with a yawn

>She didn't even notice you

>You creep forward

>She opens the door and walks in without shutting it

>She trots over to the toilet and mutters something about Sweetie Belle and the seat being down

>Then she flips it open

>She gags and almost throws up and then screams out

>R: "ANONYMOUS!"

>You snap a picture and run for your life as she fumes at you throwing everything hard at you

>Today is the start of an amazing day