Pony Fiction - Opening Act

               Pony [pone] n.

 

  1. A soft, moist, shapeless mass or matter filled with friendship.

 

  2. A horse of a small breed, esp. one whose height at the withers is below 14 hands 2 inches.

 

 

 

 

>Mid-morning sunlight shines in on Big Mac and Cheerilee's table in Sugar Cube Corner.

>The place wasn't packed, but there was a good number of ponies enjoying eggs, toast and the pastries Sugar Cube Corner offered.

 

[BM] Nah, forget it, I'm done doin' that shit.

>[C] You always say that, every time: never again, I'm through, too dangerous.

[Big Mac] How can I say that every time if I hardly talk?

 

>Cheerilee had nothing for this.

>Mrs. Cake comes over.

 

[Mrs. Cake] Can I get one anyp0ny some more coffee?

>[C] Yes, thanks.

 

>Big Mac nods a no.

>Mrs. Cake leaves.

>Big Mac looks around the diner, examining all the other ponies in the place.

>He takes out a sprig and lights it, taking a drag and blowing the smoke up at the ceiling.

 

[Big Mac] The way it is now, you're takin' the same risk as robbin' a bank. I heard 'bout this colt, he walked up into a Celestian bank with jus' a mobile phone. A phone! He told the tella' they had a filly 'nd if they didn't get the money they'd kill her or somethin'

>[Cheerilee] Did it work?

[BM] Eeyup.

>[C] Did they hurt the little girl?

[BM] Dunno, but the point of the story is they robbed the bank with a phone, not a gun, a buckin' phone.

>[C] So you want to rob banks?

>She looks confused.

 

[BM] Naw, they always get caught.

>[C] And no more liquor stores?

[BM] Nnope, too many foreigners nowadays. Saddle Arbians, Zebras, those fuckin' griffons. You say open the register and they just stare at ya.

>[C] So, we get real jobs? I always wanted to be a teacher.

[BM] We could, heard mah sis was doin' some dangerous work, making good money. Or we could rob this place.

>[C] Why here?

[BM] Nop0ny robs a restaurant. So nop0ny is expecting it, we can catch them with their pants down.

>[C] What's pants?

[BM] 'Ramember that liquor store we robbed, ponies kept walkin' in and you had the idea to take their wallets n' stuff.

>[C] Yeah, why?

[BM] This place has tons of customers, and tons of wallets.

>Cheerilee's smile widens, she leans in to Big Mac.

 

[BM] You got the crowd I got employees.

>[C]Got it.

 

>They both draw pistols and place them on the table.

 

[C] You're my cutie-patootie, lovie-dovie, honey-bunny.

>[BM] You're my heartie-smartie smirchy-wirchy baby-waby.

 

>The couple stands, holding out their guns.

>Big Mac stands on the table for extra height.

 

[BM] Everyp0ny be cool, this is a robbery.

>[C] If anyp0ny  moves I swear to Celestia I'll blow yer head off.

 

>Freeze frame, black and white filter, play:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5OHrQYwRac