One shot collection

Here is a bunch of one shots by yours truly, organized by most well received to worst.

I just can't bring myself to delete even the worst work.

Any who these are mostly funny. But a few are serious, those are at the bottom regardless of reception.

Here goes the first one:

 

1,999 characters exactly

"Thank you so much for having me Princess," you say with glee.

>The throne room was something rather amazing, and you could hardly wrap your head around how artfully crafted the stained glass windows were.

>You hoped your simple suit was enough to impress Celestia.

>You see Twilight bow beside you and you follow suit quickly.

>Both of your hands were behind your back, gripping your offering tightly.

>But you bowed anyway, smiling proudly as you faced Celestia.

>"It's my pleasure to have you two here," she says in her majestic voice.

>"Twilight have you showed our guest around Canterlot yet?"

>"No, he insisted on seeing you first."

"I'm sorry Princess but I just had to thank you for our all expenses paid weekend here in Canterlot."

>"It's nothing really, you two should be enjoying yourselves. Don't worry about thanking me."

"If you don't mind I actually made a little something as a thank you."

>"Oh, that's not necessary."

"It's not much," you presented your gift, three large cue cards, the blank side facing Celestia.

>"Um."

>You laugh softly.

"Allow me to explain. As you may know, I am from Earth. We have many languages back home, unlike here. I've written a simple greeting in a foreign language that you could perhaps use when talking to ambassadors, it's a nice conversation starter. This greeting is for use with someone in authority or an elder."

>Twilight looked at you with concern, she didn't want you to go on.

>You smile in an attempt to lull her.

"Twilight, if you'd please join Celestia over there. Maybe you should learn this too."

>Apprehensively she joins her former teacher, standing beside her.

"Please read from these sheets," you flip over the first one.

"I am."

>"I am," they say in unison.

>You flip over the next.

"Sofa king," it was hard keeping a straight face.

>"Sofa king," they were none the wiser.

>Last card.

"We Todd Ed"

>"We Todd Ed.

"Now repeat it all, very fast, please."

>"I am sofa king we todd ed," they chant.

>Twilight stops for a moment.

 

 

 

The goddamn smooze     

>The door to your nice little home bursts open, a purple flurry tackles you before you can make sense of what's going on.

>Worst possible time too.

>"Anon! Something awful has happened!"

>You push Twilight off of your chest, rising from the floor.

>You grumble to yourself, pulling up your pants and taking a seat on the bed.

"What fucked up experiment did you do this time?"

>"That doesn't matter, but I've raised a great evil from a time long past. And it's headed here, for Pony Town- er, I mean PonyVille."

"Please leave me alone, I'm done saving your town from shit."

>She looks down in sadness, and brushes her face against your leg.

"Nope, not this time. Not worth it, not after I had to deal with those fucking timber wolves, those sons of bitches gave me scars."

>"Please, you're the only one who can stop it!"

"First of all I have no damn idea what it is. Secondly, why can't one of your fruity princess handle it? I'm not Equestria's garbage man for Christ's sake."

>The ground rumbles, dusty falls from the rafters and your house shakes.

"What did you do? Set off a volcano or cause and Earthquake?"

>"In a way..." her voice trails off as she opens your door, allowing you a view of Ponyville.

>You look outside, nothing seems out of the ordinary.

>Ponies running about in fear, Pegasi snatching up animals and flying away with them.

>And Pinkie Pie, standing on the roof of Sugar Cube Corner, hurling pies AT A MASSIVE PURPLE MOVING MOUNTAIN OF HORROR AND DESPAIR.

>"BOAH BOW BOW BOAH BOW BOW BOAH," the beast bellowed, dozens of painful looking faces formed from purple muck rolled forward in a tidal wave of nightmares.

>You shrug, your mind unable to comprehend what that was.

"What did you fucking do?" you say calmly.

>You spin around, snatch her up and bring her to eye level, your pupils almost touching her's.

>In no more than a silent whisper:

"What did you fucking do you stupid purple cunt?"

>"It's the smooze!" you hear somep0ny yell from behind.

>It was closing in, crushing buildings.

>To your horror it enveloped Pinkie without a second thought, it was eating everything in it's path.

>Fluttershy runs down your street, her bunny hanging on to her wing.

>She too was assimilated into the goop.

>You, not wanting to become part of this Lovecraftian monstrosity, slung Twilight on your back and began running.

>She bouncea around on your back, holding on to your neck for dear life.

>You feel the heat of her horn as she tries slowing it down with magic.

>The mighty shadow of these beast was gaining on you, it's battle cry ringing in your ears.

>"BOW BOAH BOW BOW BOW BOAH BOW."

"Ya dun fucked up now," you shout at no one in particular.

>"BOW BOW BOW BOW BOW," it was almost singing, mocking the futility of your attempt to flee.

>Your legs burned and cried out from the effort of running and holding a pony, who had admittedly let herself go in recent months.

>You were almost to the edge of down, perhaps it would give up or something.

>But the shadow was growing bigger and you were beginning to feel a hot presences bearing down on you.

>Sloop.

>The world was now a milky purple.

>You could see the outside world near perfect through the hazy purple case.

>You open your mouth to breath, and find air.

>But you couldn't move very much, it felt like laying in a pool of jello.

>And indeed you were on your back, legs and arms out stretched but relaxed.

>Twilight was still here too, you can feel her shift around, coming up to your stomach.

>If you were trapped in a purple jello monster she would have actually look kind of pretty.

>"Sorry," she says meekly.

>You look away from her, up into the seemingly endless purple sky.

>Trees, chunks of buildings and ponies shifted about in the gelatinous mass.

>You think you can make out Pinkie Pie swimming somewhere above you, her tongue stuck out.

>To the side you see Fluttershy, gently rolling around in the slime.

>She comes close to you and Twilight and nods a hello.

>When she's just out of sight you think you hear her whisper to herself:

"Vore is my fetish."

>You spend twenty minutes eye to eye with Twilight, trying to beam all your contempt and rage at her without words.

>"You can't stop the smooze."

>You turn your head away from her.

"I fucking hate you."

 

 

 

Murrican In Equestria

>Day RED WHITE AND BLUE in Equestria.

>You emerge from your cozy shack outside of Ponyville, crushing a beer can on your forehead as you do.

"God Bless Murrica'," you say, heaving a shotgun in your right hand.

>Causally you stroll toward Ponyville, taking aim at any commies that come across your path.

>Damn them Reds, infesting every inch of your precious democracy!

>Especially that Twilight Sparkle, she was in cahoots with Russians surely.

>In a bit of a daze from your early morning drinking you were a bit tipsy, and your aim was off.

>Nay! God would make your aim straight, praise jebus.

>You sneeze, wiping your nose with your sunburned arm, the hairs tickling your nose.

>Wiping the mysterious fluid on your already greasy, stained wife beater reminds you that you've put on a few pounds - your round belly was a testament to that.

>You belch with unbridled joy and new vigor, breaking into a run as you see her library in the distance.

>Damn her and her books, evil books.

>You kick down the door.

>On the couch the rainbow wing horse lay on top of the purple horned one.

"Gay marriage is a sin."

>You take aim at the two horses, your Remington practically buzzing with need to kill these foreigners.

>You shoot, but the recoil from your shitty gun knocks you back.

>When you come to your sense all you've done is torn up a few books.

>Twilight stands over you, she's using some sort of evil socialist mind powers to keep you bound.

"Stop readin' meh mind you sunuvabitch!"

>"Dash, would you kindly dispose of this human."

>A hoof comes down hard on your head.

>You wake up, laying in bed in your dinky shack.

 

 

 

Liberty Prime and Pals

>Day Liberty Prime in Equestria.

>"OBSTRUCTION DETECTED. COMPOSITION: FRIENDSHIP."

>"Twilight, what is that thing!?" Celestia's panic filling her voice as she spoke to her student.

>"Oh that's just Liberty Prime. He's harmless, as long as you aren't a socialist, or Chinese."  

>"Am I Chinese?"

"I hope not, or yer fucked," you call from behind the massive, bulky machine.

>You fiddled with the thing's controls, still not understanding what the red button did.

>"Primary targets: any and all Red Chinese Invaders."

>"Communist detected on American Soil lethal force engaged."

"AW SHIT," you yell, getting behind a building.

>The sound of the machines heat mounted energy weapons firing shook Canterlot.

>The screams of escaping communists filled your ears.

>You peek out in the space between Prime's legs, where you could just make out Celestia, Twilight and the huge crater beside them.

>Celestia's coat and mane were blackened from the explosion, leaving her wide eyed and looking distraught.

>You mashed Prime's controller, screwing with the throttles.

>By the grace of god you some how managed to scoop up Celestia.

>The Alicorn wailed in fear as Prime held her above his head at full arm's length.

>Twilight shouted at both you and her, trying to calm her down.

>You mashed the controls again, trying to get her down.

>Sweat beaded on your forehead, the passing of time slowed to a crawl.

>Celestia's screams became elongated and distant.

>The world froze for one divine minute.

>You knock a throttle forward at random, parizin jebus.

>Prime's arm cocks back.

"Aw, fuck."

>"Is he putting me-"

>A streak of white, and what ever the fucking color Celestia's mane was arced across the sky, over Canterlot, over Canterlot's castle and into the plains below.

>Everyone was silent, Liberty Prime turns to you in the cramp street, raising his hand to his "forehead" in a salute of sorts.

>"AMERICA."

 

Flash Sentry in Equestria

 

>It was another cool and dim afternoon in Equestria.

>Springs here were always pleasant and today was exceptionally nice, and by god today was going to be great.

>Twilight was returning from her trip to Canterlot, she had left for some important business nearly a month ago.

>And those four weeks of her absence were hard to deal with, but you had bared through, and the upside: it gave you plenty of time to prepare today.

>The reservations were expensive, two weeks pay - so were the flowers you had purchased.

>But it would be worth it, today was the day you tell her how you felt.

>You were bubbling with anticipation, you had kept it bottled up for months, nine grueling months.

>With all her work, and all your apprehension you had missed precious chances at telling her.

>But now was the perfect moment, nothing to worry about now.

>You waited patiently outside of the library for her to roll up, and not a moment too soon it did, touching down just in front of you.

>However she wasn't alone, there was another with her.

>She was conversing with a stallion, a pegasus.

>She threw her head back, giggling at everything he said.

>He exits the cart, helping her out, she blushes as he holds her hoof until she was on sturdy ground.

>Neither had noticed your presence, or cared enough to.

>She spots you only at the last second as she went to open the door to her library.

>"Hey Anonymous," she said with a giggle, taking a look at the strange stallion standing just behind her.

>You felt empty and out of place, but surely these feelings were misplaced.

>You saw the cart wheel off without this newcomer, looks like he was here to stay.

>"Oh, I should introduce my friend here first. This is Flash Sentry, he helped me with my research in Canterlot," she added this with a whisper meant only for Flash, "and a little more."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," you said awkwardly, shaking Flash's hoof.

>"Yeah," he didn't seem to enjoy you touching him, and made it apparent with the roll of his eyes he gave you.

>Shudders nearly come to you as your innards become cold on this warm night.

>"Come on inside, I'll show you you're room."

>Flash walked inside, leaving you and Twilight alone.

"Oh, he's going to be staying?"

>"Yeah, do you mind?"

"Of course not, the more the merrier," you prayed your disdain wasn't apparent in your features.

>"Alright, I'm going to help him get set up," you stopped her before she walked inside.

"Are you busy later tonight?"

>She flinched away from you with the smallest amount of disgust, "yeah, sorry. Me and Flash have some stuff to do around town."

>A tsunami of embarrassment washed over you, your checks becoming a bright red.

"Understandable, excuse me," you leave her there, heade the restaurant you had placed reservations at.

>They were nonrefundable, and you weren't about to throw all that money away.

>The sun had long since set when you returned to the library.

>You had walked around Ponyville three times, individually bottling each emotion that had popped up.

>Still you did not know what she meant by "and a little more", but you had a fair idea.

>The lights were off in the library.

>Cool moonlight illuminated the place partially, it was pleasant and calming.

>Just what you needed right now.

>A nice long rest would help you loose this cold emptiness in your chest.

>You ascended the stairs with a huff, your suit jacket slung over a slouching shoulder.

>Your bedroom was suppose to be right next to Twilight's.

>But it wasn't.

>Flash Sentry, the mysterious stallion from Canterlot, had taken it upon himself to remove all your things and replace them with his.

>Nice of him to tell you first.

>You trudge to the room at the end of the hall, it was more of a closet however.

>Your things were haphazardly thrown in boxes and tossed in the room carelessly.

>No matter, you just needed some sleep, tomorrow you would sort this out.

>But sleep doesn't come, and after hours of laying in bed, your face cover by your arm the door downstairs opens.

>There is giggling, the sliding of furniture, and Twilight playfully saying "stop".

>They ascend the stairs loudly, doors open and slam shut.

>Moans ring out throughout the house, there is silence for nearly five minutes.

>You remain in the dark, eyes wide and ears perked up for any sound.

>Eventually you hear it, more moans, grunts, and the sound of bed springs.

>By now you were done, as silently as possible you raise from bed, and walk outside.

>A guttural scream not heard for ages rocks the night.

 

The Maiming Of The One They Named Flash Sentry

 

>Twilight Sparkle had been gone for some time, nearly two months.

>Some important business in Canterlot, but that didn't matter.

>What did matter was her return.

>In her absence you'd come to appreciate her in a deeper way.

>And you would display this emotion to her tonight, when she finally returned home.

>But she did not return home alone, rather another was accompanying her.

>A pegasus, some prick from the guard.

>The conversation was quick, hellos, introductions, a subtle insult from Flash and finally him and Twilight heading off to dinner somewhere in town.

>That was fine, you simply bottled up those feelings, they mixed with all that other repressed rage and loneliness in your chest.

>It was painful to see them together, but you managed.

>He disrespected and insulted you every chance he got from the moment he met you.

"Hey Flash," you would say

>"Hey, still haven't found a mare yet?"

"Nope, how's it going with Twilight?"

>"Better than you'll ever know," he'd say with a laugh.

>Every time you see him it went the same way.

>One day he even "bumped" into you with enough force to land you in a pool of mud.

>After nearly six months of these little things you've had enough.

>That box of memories and repressed things in your chest had crawled up and taken root in your mind.

>Tendrils infesting your mind and actions, soon you were plotting vile things, praying they would come to fruition.

>Today was the perfect day, Twilight was out doing some errands, it was just you and Flash in the library.

>"Hey, still don't have a marefriend?"

"No, you recall asking that this morning?"

>"Nah," his smug face curls into a smile.

>He walks into the kitchen, prepares himself a sandwich with your bread, and sits down.

>His first mistake was turning his back to you.

"Flash, what's this on your wing?"

>You place your hands on the furthest part of his wing before he even turns.

>Your strong hands bent the bone in the opposite direction, the hollow bone snapping with ease.

>Flash cried out in agony, he spit up the food in his mouth.

>He falls to the floor, whimpering.

"You're rather weak for a former guard."

>You bring your boot down on his hindleg, crushing it.

>He's crying now, odd.

>You help him back into his chair, oh the agony he must be experiencing.

>Poor Flash.

>"P-please-"

"Please what?"

>You pick up his plate, cock your arm back and smash it into his face.

>Shards of ceramic get stuck in his muzzle and eye, if he lived this experience he would be blind in one eye.

"Sorry. Hey Flash, do you recall the time you were having sex with Twilight, the door open, and you smiled to me as I passed. Do you remember the words said to me?"

>"N-no."

"Oh, well let's see," you grab his foreleg, which dangled limply at his side, "if this helps."

>It was simple breaking his leg, he seemed rather fragile.

>Even more amazing was his lack of survival skills, he simple sat by, mewling to himself as you enacted revenge.

"Do you want me to stop?"

>"Pl-"

"No," you knock him off his chair once more, planting your boot on his skull.

>Another kick, another cry of pain.

>Eventually it happens, his head just cracks.

>It was marvelous in a way, brain and shards of skull being squished out in such a way.

>But you didn't have time to admire your work.

>The sound of a door unlocking reverberates throughout the house, you turn to the front door.

>Twilight drops her bags, her shock and disgust obvious.

"Like what I've made you?"

>She runs, screaming.

>She so special, so fucking special.

 

 

These next one shots really fell flat.

 

 

 

Genius

>Day "ingenious evil plan" in  Equestria.

>You rolled up on the first Ponyville bank with your crew.

>You pull the plastic horse mask that would be your cover over your face.

>It's long snout swung a little as you moved your head back and forth, addressing your comrades.

"Remember the plan? Go in quick, fuck up shit and drive home."

>Twilight Applejack and Rainbow Dash nod in unison, placing on their masks.

>You get out of the mech-stallion drawn carriage and cock back your pistol.

>You had no clue how your associates made use of their guns but that didn't really matter, as long as they fired properly.

>Taking the lead you storm into the bank through the glass revolving doors.

>Just was planned Twilight hops on the table in the center.

>"Everyp0ny be cool this is a robbery," she says, her horn glowing.

>Applejack was rustling with the customers, Rainbow watched the door for guards.

>It was amazing how the bank had no security whatsoever.

>There were three tellers working the windows, a pink earth pony, a yellow pegasus and a white unicorn.

>"Don't be ah hero," Applejack says behind you, you turn to see her crush a cellphone underneath her hoof.

>Good thing no one will be able to call the guard.

>You decide to work with the yellow one, she seemed the calmest.

>You glance at the pink pony next to her, she was smiling like a maniac.

"Alright honey just be calm, do what I say and this will be over really quickly," you try to use the smoothest voice possible to keep her calm.

>She was quiet for a long time so you continue.

"I need you to go into the back, where you keep the bits, and place them in a bag or box or whatever you have, then give it to me and I'll be out of here."

>She whimpers.

>"Hey, hey, hurry up bro we don't have much time left," Dash calls to you.

"You want to give me an answer?"

>You see her name tag reads "Fluttershy", the other two are Rarity and Pinkie Pie it would appear.

>she stutters something then breaks down into tears.

>Oh my god this bitch.

>You move on to the pink one.

"Do you think you can stay calm and get me the money?"

>Damn this horse mask was getting hot.

>"What's that?" she pokes the window with her hoof, pointing at your gun.

"Don't pay attention to that, just get-"

>"What'sthatmaskfor?Areyougoingtoafancyball? Idon'treallylikethosekindsofparties,but Iloveparties.IlovepartiessomuchIheldlikethreebirthdaypartiesformyselflastyear. Doyoulikeparties,misterhorseface?"

"SHUT UP. Get me the money, how hard is that?"

>Her smile vanished, the pegasus started sobbing again.

>Hopefully this one wouldn't break down.

>Just when you though she was going to turn around and calmly get the bits you demanded her grin returns, stretching ear to ear.

>"Okie dokie lokie," the mare happily bounces away into he back of the bank.

>Rainbow Dash comes up behind you and tugs on your suit sleeve.

"what?"

>"Um," she swallowed, "we got a problem."

>Your ears picked up the whirr of distant sirens.

>Fuck fuck fuck.

"Applejack get the wallets and purses, if things go bad at least we'll have that."

>she nods and roughs a few nervous looking stallions and mares for their goods.

>"couldn't you have done this yesterday, all this stress will upset my hair," the unicorn pleas.

"Hey, I got an idea, shut up."

>You itch your neck under the mask, it was slick with sweat.

>The sirens were getting closer, Twilight looked nervous, Applejack was stuffing phones and money into a black plastic garbage bag and Dash was peering out the window looking for guards.

>"Who called the fucking guards?" Twilight questions.

>"Hell if I know, I took all these pony's phones 'n' stuff," Applejack claims.

>Pink Party bounces back over, her ears perk up.

>"Is that the party sirens!" she says joyously, dropping the cloth bag she was dragging over.

>Dozens of bits spill out.

"No, no it's not-"

>"Yes it is! Ihopetheybroughtcakeandstreamersandpartyfavorsandballoons," she shows off her cutie mark to you, slamming her flank into the window so you can see the three balloons on her side.

"Just give me those bits so we can go."

>But she was too far gone, she galloped out from behind the booths and into the street screaming about something.

>You chide yourself for not doing this in the first place, hopping over the table to get behind the booths.

>You scoop up some of the spilled bits and place them in the bag trying to be quick, greed gets the better of you though.

"You two, money, jewelry, phones, everything in the bag now."

>You pointed the gun at Fluttershy and Rarity.

>The pegasus stepped forward first throwing a few bits in the bag along with a weird circlet made of twigs and flowers.

>"Angel bunny made that, I hope you like it," she says before slinking back to her post.

>Next up was the unicron.

>She removes her earrings slowly.

>"I got these at that little place on Main and 5th. Have you ever been? It's a small store but they have such marvelous pieces!"

>Please shut up and give me your money.

>You hear two gun shots, turning to see Rainbow Dash had fired at a guard, she missed though.

>You really didn't want to add murder to armed robbery.

>Rarity slides off and anklet/bracelet thing, telling you she picked it up in Canterlot.

>Finally she tosses in her cellphone carelessly, you see it's still unlocked.

>You manage to make out a few of the texts on screen.

>[Sent]Will you believe this, I'm being robbed

>[Received]Rly? lol u should call the guard

>[Sent]Can you do it for me, darling? Thnx, ttyl.

>You grind your teeth to keep from slapping yourself in the face with your gun.

"Time to roll guys lets get the fuck outta here."

 

THE WORST ONE SHOT IN THE WORLD

>Day Purity Ring in Equestria.

>You huddled on the cold wooden floor, contemplating whether or not your barriers would stand.

>You knew full well about horses, and their s-stressing.

>A shiver went down your spine, they might make you do things.

>Do things to them, ew.

>You hadn't eaten or drank anything in awhile, let alone bathe.

>You were hoping the reeking stench that followed you around would keep them off of you.

>You were dead, fucking, wrong.

>They followed you even then, calling your name constantly.

>A knock comes at the door.

>[The Camera zooms in on your eye, highlighting the purple bags under your crusted, bloodshot eyes]

>A single breath escapes your mouth, the knocking continues.

>"Hey, human, get out here. We need your help with something," it sounded like the rainbow one, if only you could remember her name.

>"Yeah, we need some help with this water and soap," this was Pinkie something, Pinkie Cake - yeah that was it.

>You hear some muffled scolding.

>"Uh, just come out for a second, we want to talk."

>You kept your position, balled up on the floor.

>"You okay in there?" Pinkie calls.

>There is some more muffled talking, then the sound of wood being hit hard.

>A shiver runs through you.

>It comes again, the chair at the top of the pile falls to the floor with a loud slam.

>A low moan of despair escapes your parted lips.

>"Anonymous?"

>It takes some time but eventually the bed falls, and that blue face with the rainbow mane pops up over the pile of furniture.

"Please, please..."

>"We're here to help, just stay still, it'll be over quick. We're fast."

>The Pink one joins her up there.

>Still in ball form, your legs tucked close to your chest, being held there by your arms you roll backward to the wall at the other end.

>You left a trail of tears along the way.

"Please, please don't fuck me."

>"Is that a human word for-"

"No! GET BACK!"

>You hadn't seen them get over the pile, now they were inside.

>The Pink one had some sort of sponge, and Rainbow was carrying a bucket of something.

>It was probably oils, horse oils and lubricants for when they have saxy tiems no doubt!

"STAY BACK. YOU CAN'T HAVE ME!"

>"Get a load of this-"

>You mustered the courage of a thousand men the second they crossed the small patch of sunlight coming in from the window above.

"YOU WILL NOT TAKE MY VIRGINITY!"

>If only the good book was here to guide you.

>They kept getting closer, ready to pounce.

>Pinkie bounced forward on her hindlegs, a sponge in each of her fore-hooves.

>You were out of options.

>Your mind started generating possibilities for all the vile things they would do you.

>Then an idea broke through all the dirty images flying through your head.

"Only Jesus can have my virginity!" that certainly sounded better in your head but that didn't matter.

>You turned, and leaped straight for the window.

>Crashing through it you fell straight into glass and dirt when you impacted on the other side.

>You scrambled to your feet, glass in your cheeks and forehead.

>You turn to give a parting glance to the two horses in the window.

>You've won this round.

 

This was suppose to be a longer story

 

 

 

Already Dead

>You were looking rather dashing.

>As you examined yourself in the small mirror on the medicine cabinet you felt incredibly confident.

>Adjusting your blood red tie, happily moving your cuffs down, admiring the fine craftsmanship of the pitch black suit jacket and pants, and the contrasting stark white button shirt.

>You had ordered this magnificent suit a week back, and you still find yourself amazed out how something like this only took 8 hours to make.

>The best part, Rarity had made it for you free of charge.

>Good thing too, you needed all the bits you could get for tonight.

>It was after all a big night, and no expense could be spared for this night.

>Smiling to yourself you turn and make for the door.

>Before you hand can reach the doorknob the urge to cough rises in your chest.

>You bring the hand up to your mouth just as it happens, muffling the sound.

>Unfortunately you get a little something on your hand.

>You roll up your sleeves again, and turning on the faucets you notice something unexpected.

>What you thought was a bit of spittle, perhaps some phlegm was in fact mucusy blood.  

>Another cough comes, then another, building up in intensity until a final violent one causes you to grasp the sink for support.

>Blood, mucus and spit are splattered across the inside of the sink.

>You beg whatever big man was in the sky to give you one night without this coming up.

>But maybe your luck had run out, it was hard enough concealing this for a month.

>Maybe tonight was the night you finally told her something was wrong.

>But you could see her worried, fretting over you, you couldn't bear her being nervous, it was best to keep it to yourself.

>If only to keep her happy.

>A knock came to the door, followed by the sweetest voice you've ever heard, "you okay? You sound sick. We don't have to go if you don't feel up to it."

>You quickly wipe your mouth, rinse your hands and pull your sleeves back down, swinging open the door in excitement.

>There she stood, two majestic purple eyes looking at you with concern.

>She looks beyond wondrous, despite not doing much to dress up for tonight.

>You smile, hoping to dissolve any doubts she may have.

>Unexpectedly you scoop her up, rushing down the flight of stairs to the door below.

>She never got used to you doing that, and always screamed like a filly on a coaster.

>But this only brought a grander smile to your face, and by the time you set her down and head out the door you've forgotten about your cough.

 

>"How did you even get a reservation here?" Twilight questions, nibbling at her dinner.

>You ignore that, wishing to keep it a secret, and go on enjoying your meal.

>"I'll find out eventually," she says.

"I'm sure you will. But don't bother with stuff like that, just have a nice time. I've got everything covered so you could relax."

>She looks at you a bit skeptically, but does relax as the night goes on.

>"So how are things at Rarity's boutique?"

"Uh, I don't know, maybe fashion isn't my thing."

>"Thinking of going back to Sugarcube Corner?"

"No way man! Pinkie was crazy, she hops around the shop doing god knows what and boom now there's a cake in the oven."

>"What did you expect when working with Pinkie Diane Pie?"

"You make a good point," you say, motion your fork at her, "any breakthroughs in magic?"

>"Not really. But there is already so much to learn, so I'm not complaining."

"You're testing out long distance teleportation now, right?"

>"Yes, and it's going great."

"Really?"

>"Well, maybe not so great. I ended up in Manehattan yesterday, but progress is progress."

"What part of Manehattan?"

>"Somep0ny's bedroom."

"That couldn't have been awkward at all."

>You join her in a spurt of uncontainable laughter.

>But you stop abruptly, coughing violently, you can't seem to stop.

>You down your glass of water, to no avail.

>Thankfully you had kept your hands clean by using one of the cloth napkins on the table, you quickly examine it before coughing again.

>By the time the fit passes Twilight looks more than a little worried.

>"You are not okay. You should see a doctor."

"I'm fine, it happens to humans all the time," you say, trying to get her mind off the subject.

>"Yet I've never seen you do that once," her eyes flick to your folded over napkin.

>With relief you realize the bloody side was covered.

"Don't worry. If it makes you feel better I'll go see a doctor tomorrow, but today we won't talk about it. Tonight is about you."

>She gives in reluctantly.

>You try your best to distract and entertain her until dinner is over but it was difficult, especially considering the cold fingers of fear and doubt were tickling your spine and churning your stomach.

 

>It was late now, but a few ponies remained on the road, trotting about and doing whatever.

>You had started walking Twilight home, but switch paths at the last second, much to her protest.

>You were assaulted with queries and threats.

>"Where are we going? Why are we headed toward the fields? If you don't say something I'm walking home. That's it, I'm headed home."

>But she wasn't, she was right behind you, lagging a few paces behind as you led her to the open field.

>It was empty save for a single dark caravan in the distance.

>"What's that?"

>You don't respond, picking her up once more.

>She moans about how she doesn't like it when you did that, but she snuggles close to your chest anyway as you carry her toward the caravan.

>Trixie tips her head at you and gets on the stage she set up.

>You plant Twilight on a small blanket.

>"Trixie?" she mutters to you, just now seeing the blue unicorn making the final preparations for the show.

"No. The Great and Powerful Trixie."

>"It is I simpletons, The GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!"

>The show was amazing, and although Trixie boasted many times you were certain it was just an act.

>Not surprisingly Twilight had a great time, you enjoyed yourself as well but more so because she was having a good time.

>Better yet you didn't cough once.

>The show ends as almost too quick and Trixie bids both of you adieu.

>You wave a thank you to Trixie, and she returns with a quick nod.

>The walk home is filled with laughter and smiles, so much so that your face hurts a little by the time you get back to the library.

>She heads to bed, and you go to wash up again, returning to find her curled up in ball over the sheets.

>Looks like she didn't make it very far before falling asleep.

>You debate heading to your room, or joining her.

>With no quilt to cover her, what would keep her warm? you reason, wrapping yourself around her.

>You see her ears perk up as you do so, but she made no motion to stop you.

>You drift to sleep easily enough, face buried in soft purple fur.