FillyQuest!

FillyQuest Part 1: The Necromancer

Ah, Ponyville, your next stop on the road to legend.

>Wait, you should clarify, for yourself, that there is no actual road to legend.

>It's metaphorical...or something.

>You stand just on the edge of town with your hands on your hips, resting in the small spot covered by cloth instead of armor.

>It's a bit of a chilly this morning, but your leather gloves keep your fingers nice and warm.

>Not to mention the gloves provide protection from stabby things by the bits of metal covering the joints, the back of your hand and most of your lower arm.

>"A traveler I see," a deep, but calming voice says.

>A pony in a yellow cloak and a helmet, which covers his face completely, walks over.

>"I used to be an adventurer like you...but then I realized I just wasn't cut out for it. I'm a family stallion at heart and I wanted to settle down. So I came to here, where I met my wife and became a guard of the town."

>"I didn't ask," you think to yourself.

"Wow that's nice," you say with an awkward smile.

>"You look like you could use some rest, friend. Why not try Mac's Tavern just off the main square? Warm beds and cider for a good price."

>Wow something actually useful.

"I'll be sure to, thanks. Goodbye."

>You pick up the pace to get as far away from the guard as possible, your large warhammer bumping against your back in its bindings.

>By the time you get to the town square, you're unsure of what to do.

>The streets are pretty empty and the skies are still a little dark.

>But the quiet is nice.

>Quiet is one of the biggest reasons you travel alone.

>That and becoming a great warrior of legend.

>You walk over to the fountain, watching the water flow for a moment.

>The tavern probably is open right now but you aren’t that tired, you've got some time to burn-

>"Whoa."

>"Wow."

>"Gasp!" three small voices coo in unison.

 

>You turn quickly around.

>Three little fillies stand awfully close to you, one's wings flap happily.

>"You're so big!" the leftmost one says.

>She's a unicorn with a white coat and an /interesting/ mane consisting of light pink and purple curls.

"H-hey! I've been trying to lose weight. There's no need for that."

>"Are you an adventurer?"

>"Do you go on adventures?"

>"Why are you all dressed up in metal?"

"Yes, yes, whatever. Please stop talking all at once."

>The three shut up and sit down.

>Six big innocent eyes are now locked onto you.

"Okay. Run along now. Nothing to see."

>You stand there for a moment with your arms crossed, hoping they will just leave.

>Children are morally obligated to comply to the demands of their elders...right?

>They don't move; they just sit there, all huddled up together with blank faces for what seems like twenty minutes.

>You’ve become increasingly uneasy and fidgety.

>You'd run away, but the trio has you boxed in against the fountain.

>"Wow! What's this?"

>You turn around just as the little filly on the right zips away from her friends toward you.

>She taps at the head of your war-hammer, knocking it around.

"Easy!" you blurt, backing away toward the fountain.

"Don't you three have anything better to do than bother me? Go play hide and seek or something."

>"Hide and seek? Why didn't we think of this sooner?" The unicorn says with a widening grin.

"Wait, what?"

>"Cutie Mark Crusaders Seekers!" The pegasus replies.

>"Okay big guy, you hide and we'll try and find you," the yellow one says in a budding southern accent.

>They cover their eyes and line up against the fountain.

>"I'll count to thirty," the pegasus announces, her eyes still closed.

>"1...2...3..."

>Mouth agape and confusion taking over, you look around, gauging your options.

>"5...7...Uh, I mean 6!"

>You could play along and then just hide somewhere until they leave.

>But where would you go?

 

>Ah! The tavern! Young ones aren't allowed in taverns!

>You start off in search of a sign or something to lead you to the place and you find one eventually.

>Before rounding the corner and getting inside you see the three fillies bounce up, their counting complete.

>You push open the door, noticing a little note on the door but not bothering to read, and close it behind you quickly.

>"Uh, we're not open right now, sir," a young mare in a stetson says grimly, she's setting up the chairs for a few tables in the dim bar.

"Yeah sorry, I'm hiding from a couple fillies. You don't mind if hide out here a moment?"

>She lightens up a bit, smiling.

>"Sure. I know how those fillies can get. I got a little sister at home."

>You don't respond.

>Why are horses always telling you about their families?

>You didn't even ask.

>It gets quiet as you stand idly by, watching as she cleans up.

"I-I'm Anonymous, you are?"

>"Applejack," she says with a nod, wiping down a table.

>Hmm that reminds you, you haven't had breakfast.

 

"I know it's a bit much to ask for-"

>"You want some food, don't ya?"

"Err.."

>You rub the back of your head and flinch away.

>In a second you hear the dropping of a tin dish on wood and look up.

>Apple danishes, apple pies, apple juice, apples and other fruity orb shaped things are set up on the table closest to you.

>"Dig in."

"Thanks, but I'm gonna have to pay you..."

>"As soon as you're done?"

"R-right."

>Feels bad when you have about two gold pieces to your name.

>You unstrap your war-hammer and rest it on the side of the chair, digging into the pie with your bare hands.

>"Hey! Whoa, use a fork or somethin' partner! Yer getting pie everywhere."

>You give her a skeptical look, raising an eyebrow.

"Do you use a fork?"

>"N-no."

"Okay then. I bet you get pie all over when you eat."

>"D-do not! I'm a very tidy eater. I think..."

>You slide her one of the danishes, claiming the other for yourself as you push the half finished pie to the side.

"How about a little game? You can’t drop any crumbs or you lose. And if I win..."

>You ponder this for a second.

>It's your competition, you can ask for anything to be the prize.

>Although you don't think some prizes will go down as well as others.

"I don't pay for this and a room for tonight."

>She considers this for a moment.

>"Seems fair enough."

 

>Stretching out her hoof, you shake it and she nods.

>She takes a good look at her pastry and lets out a thoughtful "hmmph".

>In one quick motion she picks up the treat and stuffs it in her mouth.

>After a few seconds of chewing she swallows and nods.

>Oh, well then.

>A bead of sweat trickles down your forehead as you inspect your opponent, your hands tremble.

>God this is more intense than that time that spider had you tied up and she...

>Okay, let's not get into that.

>Methodically, you strip apart the treat, breaking it up into small pieces without shedding any crumbs.

>You devour line after line of apple pastry goodness.

>It works, and you're still in the game.

>Without warning the door bursts open, sunlight blinding you as you turn around to look at who's entered.

>A little hoof hits you swiftly in the back, causing you to spit out a bit of danish.

>"Gotcha! You're it," that squeaky and familiar voice says.

>You look down at all the bits of food now on the table.

>"Looks like yer paying for breakfast AND a room."

"Sumofabtch," you say through a stuffed mouth.

 

>You sit at the bar, head on the wood, wondering how you’re going to pay for all that.

>The three fillies around you toy with your hammer, talking and giggling loudly.

>Whodathunk one of them was Applejack's sister and that they'd come here asking for her help to find you.

>Perfect, just perfect.

"Hey could you stop poking my back with that? It's uncomfortable."

>Looking back, you see the three fillies lifting up your hammer, mid-thrust with the bottom of it point toward you.

>"Sorry!" Scootaloo says falsely.

>With very little gold and now a huge debt because of these little horses, you're in some deep trouble.

>You suppose you could work on Applejack's farm, but apple picking doesn't sound very "legendary".

"Hey, do you know about any bounties in the area or something?"

>She looks up at you from cleaning, squinting in thought for a second.

>"Oh yeah, couple guys came in here sayin' something about a evil, spooky, necromancer in the Everfree Forest!"

>She seems both interested and frightened by the evil, spooky death-wizard in the forest.

>Hmm, all powerful wizard versus you, a knight with unmatched skill?

>Okay, maybe not unmatched, but pretty good.

>O-or at least average skill.

"Do you know how much it pays?"

>"Nah, didn't really ask."

>Looks like you have your first quest.

>Without notice you stand up and claim your weapon, heading for the door.

>Halfway down the road you actually think you've managed to get away from those fillies.

>It's better this way: no annoying little horses to take care of in the dangerous forest.

>A few steps out of town now and nearing the forest, you hear the sound of clippty-cloppity hooves on the cobble road.

>Spinning around you spot the CMC bounding up merrily, Applebloom in the lead and Scootaloo fluttering her wings with each hop in the back.

 

"Oh no ya don't, head back to your sister little one."

>"Aw, but we want to go on an adventure with you!"

>That's not going to work, you tell yourself, thinking of how you can dissuade them.

"Really? Fine, let's go into the dark, scary unknown forest filled with monsters of great proportion and trees that are...weird looking."

>Sweetie, Scootaloo and Bloom's expressions have changed from joyful to concerned.

>Just as planned!

>Proudly you walk on ahead, figuring that would be enough.

>But a few seconds pass and still you hear the hoof falls behind you, they're just slower and quieter.

>"Cutie Mark Crusaders adventurers," one of them whispers.

>You slap yourself in the face and grunt, trudging forward.

 >"I wonder if we'll see any Timber wolves."

>"That'd be awesome!"

"I'm sure we will, I've heard they have huge teeth and claws that could tear into a little pony like you easily."

>"Wow! That's so cool."

>Does nothing faze these ponies?

 

>The road ends and you come upon the entrance to the forest; the twisted wicked roots of the trees poking out from the ground, appearing to snarl at you.

>There seems to be a fairly well tread path leading deeper in.

>Now that you think about it, you never asked where this Necromancer was standing.

>Good job, idiot.

>You turn around and face the three "companions" of yours.

"Are you sure you want to go into there?" you point behind you for emphasis.

>"Yep!" they reply in unison, all with determined faces.

>You let out a long sigh before delving into the forest.

>It's colder in here than on the road and far darker.

>Plus the spookiness is up 100%.

>Aside from some howling and the occasional rough breeze nothing exciting happens as you and your party follow the road into the forest.

>Looking for the tell-tale signs of a necromancer hideout nets you little, as you don't know what to look for.

>The whole walk, the fillies are silent, but now you can hear some shivering and the chattering of teeth.

>Taking a glance over your shoulder you see the trio huddled together, looking around with fear.

>A big grin spreads across your face.

>Good! Good!

>"AHHROOOOOOOO," a light howl breaks the silence.

>Three screams from the fillies behind you follow and you're assaulted by soft fur and little hooves as they all scramble to get on top of you.

>"Run!" Bloom orders

"Run!?" you ask, caught up in the action.

>"RUN!" the three of them yelp.

>You kick into action, not even realizing what's going on and just roll with it.

>In fact, you hardly notice that you're holding three fillies in your arms as you barge down the "road".

>Everyone settles down and you find yourself in some clearing off the path, huffing and puffing to get your breath back.

>Meanwhile your companions begin to look around.

 

>"Hey Anon! I think we found it."

"Huh?"

>"We found a tower! Don't those kinds of ponies like towers?"

>Bloom waves you over.

>You and the other two follow her in the bushes and out into an adjacent clear.

>A great crumbling tower hails to the night sky, a large stone staircase headed to a rotting wooden door.

"Whoa."

>A few dark slits serve as windows into the great structure, but you can't spot anything.

>"C'mon, let's go in!"

"No, wait. You have to go slow or else you'll be torn up."

>"Torn up?"

>You push past them, ignoring their questions and readying your hammer.

>With a deep breath you put a armored boot on the first step, looking around for an assailants.

"Get close," you whisper harshly.

>The door shutters and you back off, feeling one of the fillies brush against your leg.

>It creaks open slowly.

>Out pokes a the skull of an equine, one hollow eye socket looking toward you.

>Next comes its long spiny neck, and then its torso, which is merely a rib cage.

>The CMC gasp and Sweetie Belle hops up and clings to the back of straps of your plate-armor, hiding under your cape.

>It lets out a low moan that sounds like wind blowing through bones.

"Hello there."

>"Helllllloooooooo," it replies, whispering in a frightening voice.

>It exposes itself completely, causing you to take another step back.

"I did not expect that."

>"Aaand I did not expect a sssstrange man and three ssssmall horsssesss."

>Its jaw gnashs together as it speaks.

>"Hey! You're suppose to be scary then that!"

>"As you wissshh."

>It stands up on its hind legs and roars, eyes turning to black swirling pits and jaw chattering.

>You almost flinch at the display.

>As he brings his hooves back down on the stone he returns to "normal".

"Oh."

 

>Checking up on your partners you see they didn't fair as well, all of them peeking their heads out from behind you; whether it be from your back or behind your legs.

>"Why have you come here, mortalsss?"

>You stand there a moment, still getting over the whole talking pony skeleton thing.

"We wanted a 'word' with the guy who's controlling you."

>"Oh...Him? Are you sure you? You didn't, I don't know, perhaps come to say hello to me?"

>He hangs his head and tosses it up a few times, as if to take peeks up at you.

"N-no. We came for the necromancer."

>"Oh," he becomes uniform and stiff again.

>"Right thisss way then."

>With the girls in tow, you follow the skeleton inside the dark tower.

>It's not what you assumed it would look like.

>Rather than low burning candles on the skulls of ponies, a fancy chandelier hangs on the ceiling, albeit is unlit and the lobby remains dim.

>To the left of another staircase is a not too shabby bookshelf, all with clean well kept books lined up.

>On the stone floor is a fitting, thick red carpet made of some sort of fur.

"Hey bones, what's this made from?" you ask, tapping the rug with your foot.

>"Alllpaaaccaaaaa."

"Hmm, nice."

>"And that's Misssterr Bones to you," he adds almost too low to hear, not bothering to look back.

>Bloom speaks up.

>"This place seems so boring. What do you do for fun?"

>The skeleton stops dead in his tracks.

>Heh, /dead/ in his tracks.

>You're a genius!

>"I am fond of the game of tag. However, with only me and Master in the tower, I have few opportunities to play."

>"Oh, we love tag!" Scootaloo answers.

>"Wanna play?" Sweetie Belle offers.

"No, we're busy right now. We got to find that Necromancer."

>The skeleton stands up right again, eyes going black and jaw dismantling, and being a few steps higher than you he's now fairly tall.

>"DO AS THE GIRL SAYSSSS."

"R-right. Sorry, sire!"

 

>Uh, wait.

>"I'll be it, everyone hide!" Apple Bloom announces, leaning against the wall and covering her eyes.

>Bones and the other two dart downstairs while you stand idly by, grinding your teeth together at the ruined moment.

>This tower is suppose to be more...deadly.

>Bloom catches you immediately and, thoroughly annoyed, you follow her back down into the first room.

>She looks around the room, easily finding Scoots under the carpet and Sweetie up in chandler.

>Finding Bones however takes a few minutes.

>With no help from you, she spots him tucked tight behind the bookcase.

>In her joy she jumps up and boops him on the nose, causing him to split apart into individual parts, all the while he's cackling madly in happiness.

>His skull rattles on the cold stone floor.

>"Funnnnn."

>Over the commotion, you catch on to the sound of hooves on stone.

>Whipping around you're greeted with a darkly robed pony standing in the corner.

>The only feature of his not covered is his white mouth, which appears to be covered in black soot styled like the lower jaw of a skeleton.

>He grins widely, followed by a great crack of thunder.

>Now all notice him.

>You hear Bones rattle back together, his embarrassment practically radiating off him.

>"So, it is you whom has entered my tower," his deep menacing and commanding voice says.

>Once more you draw your weapon, pointing the hammer at your foe, trying to look menacing.

>He tosses off his hood, revealing a grey mane and a horn and a wide smile.

>"Welcome! How's it going? I see you met Bones. Hey, you guys up for some tea or something?"

>He becomes jovial and upbeat, hopping merrily down the stairs.

 

>The magician readies a table on the uppermost floor; his servant prepared some tea, which wasn't so bad.

>Cup in hand, you and the CMC sit in comfy chairs crafted from bones and furs while the mage tells you a story of some grave digging.

>"So I got the coffin open finally and, get this, it's empty!" he shrugs for emphasis and takes a sip of his warm drink.

>"All that digging for nothing! Of all the graves in the graveyard I get an empty one. Crazy, huh?"

"Yeah...that's real unusual. Uh. There is something else we came here for."

>"And what's that?"

>Mr. Bones looks nervous.

"We're going to have to take you in. There's a bounty on you and I really need the gold."

>He frowns and reaches under the table.

>You grasp your hammer, sitting up straight.

>”Well here.”

>He brings up a small leather sack that jingles with coins.

>”I need you to deliver a letter.This is pay for keeping quiet about me and my location and for your trip here.”

“Okay, that doesn’t seem so bad. Who am I delivering this too?”

>His face lights up again.

>”There’s this mare in town, Twilight Sparkle. She lives in a large tree like house, just ask around you'll find it."

"Wait a sec, where's those fillies?"

>It's just you and the necromancer, Bones is gone too.

>"Uh I have no clue really."

>He gauges the room, and heads off toward the door at the left.

"What?"

>"I hear some talking."

>He trots slowly over to the door, you in tow.

 

>With one hoof he pushes it open, revealing Bones, and the CMC sat down on a rug around what appears to be a little model roller coaster.

>"So when are you going to finish it?" Sweetie questions.

>"Finish? This ride?" Bones answers with a serious tone, giving her a deadpan stare.

>"Never," his eyes glow with a determined red.

"Hey c'mon, we should head out before it gets too dark."

>"Aw, but we're enjoying the ride!"

>"Yesss, mortal, we're enjoying the ride."

>"Oh dear, not your silly roller coaster again. I'm sure we'll see these fillies again."

"Wait, I don't think I caught your name, necromancer."

>"Happy Graves the name, and raising dead is my game."

>He nods cheerfully.

"Uh, you joking?"

>"No! What you don't like my name?"

"Of course not, it's a fine name," you say, hardly convincing yourself.

>"Well thanks," Graves blushes and looks down, "You're too kind."

 

>You say your goodbyes and depart, weaving your way through the forest and back to town with a little difficulty.

>By the time you get to that cobble road leading to Ponyville your companions are nodding off and trailing behind.

>They stop in the road and simply stand there, head hanging and eyes closed.

>How could you sleep standing up?

>Crazy!

>You fetch an empty a sack from your convenient utility belt (it's the one with the gold buckle, the bat was too expensive), stuffying them in and gently slinging it over your back.

>It's probably uncomfortable and hot for them, but they're not complaining and snoring in a few seconds.

>A faint smile comes across your face as you carry on to the library.

>You knock on the oak door and after a lengthy wait a drowsy looking purple unicorn in a nightcap comes to greet you.

>"Can I help you?" she inquires lazily.

"I have a letter for you, it's from a friend."

>She lights up and waits impatiently while you set down the sack of fillies to fetch the envelope.

>"Who is it from exactly?"

"Er...Happy Graves."

>Her mouth makes an O shape and she tears into the parchment, apparently very happy.

>Her cheeks grow red as she reads the note through, her eyes flicking from line to line rapidly.

>"Oh, this is the most..." she huffs.

>"Thank you, here is some payment."

>She tosses a bag of coins your wait, bumping against your chestplate and falling into your hands.

>"Now if you'll excuse me..."

>She doesn't bother closing the door, rather heading straight for a chest across the room.

>You furrow your brow in confusion before turning away, catching a glimpse of what she pulls from the box.

>Looks like a short pink dagger...wait oh god no.

>You scoop up the sack o' fillies and run to AJ's tavern before things got worse.

>The moans and groans haunt you three blocks down, you bet the door isn't even closed...

 

>It's pretty late, and you've had a long day.

>The bar is empty and it's just you, AJ, and a sack of CMC.

>As you sit at the counter of AJ's Tavern you consider what sort of thing you'd like to do with your new and sizable amount of gold.

>Well, beside that other debt you have to clear up.

>Hmm, maybe something alcoholic.

"Hey apples, what have you in the hard drinks department?"

>"Uh, excuse me?"

"Like Cider, something that'll get me drunk."

>"Drunk? Well hmm."

>She contemplates it as if she's never heard the word.

>Not terribly surprising.

>"I think I have something."

>She heads into the back, leaving you and the bag of fillies to yourselves.

>Someone should probably get them home.

>It's not going to be you though.

>You're far too tired, having done a long day of, well, letter delivery.

>This particular venture hasn't made you any more legendary, or noticeable in anyway.

>You really need to pick up the pace on this whole becoming a great warrior thing.

>Applejack returns promptly, bearing a small tray with two glasses on it.

>"Here, you should like this. It's an original recipe."

>With apprehension you take one of the cups, AJ taking the other.

>Smiling, she lifts up the glass and puts it to her mouth.

>You follow suit, eyes squinting in concern.

>This might not be so bad...

>The cool liquid touches your tongue and you immediately spit it back out onto the counter.

"What the hell is this? I expected some cheap liquor, not...this!?"

>"You don't like it?" she asks, looking like she's on the verge of tears.

"It's not what I ordered."

>"You asked for cider."

"No I asked for alcoholic cider."

>"Hwat?"

 

>You grit your teeth and stand up.

"Never mind. Say, could you take care of this?"

>You plop your bag on the counter.

>"Uh what is it?"

>You pull open the bag's strings.

"Your sister and her friends."

>The three amigos come tumbling out, still asleep, barely fitting on the bar.

>She looks shocked at first but calms down when she see's they're perfectly fine.

>"So how did that whole necromancer thing go down?"

>She looks concerned and interested at the same time, probably hoping for a lengthy tale of your heroism!

"Eh nothing interesting actually. I mean the guy was pretty chill and all but he was a bit 'strange' if you know what I'm saying."

>"So you didn't, uh, do 'em in?"

"Nope, didn't have too. It's a long story and I sort of have to keep it a secret."

>"So he gave you all this gold?"

"Well him and Twilight Sparkle."

>"Twilight was out there?"

"No, no, there was a letter. It's all very secretive I can't say too much."

>"Hmmph, fine," she comments, obviously upset at your tease, her accent seeping through pretty badly.

>Unintentional payback for her own trickery?

>You are a genius and you don't even know it, Anonymous.

>With sunken shoulders and a defeated feeling you trudge up the stairs to your room giving AJ a grunt of goodbye.

>Maybe tomorrow will bring better adventures.

 

>You awake bright and early, still in your armor from last night.

>Well isn't that something.

>Rolling out of bed and landing with a thud you notice how cold it is.

>Winter is coming.

>No scratch that, it's arrived and it's in full swing.

>Snatching up your warhammer from the floor you make for the door, wondering how you can make your fortune, as you always do.

>The bar is empty save for AJ, who's serving breakfast to the three bouncy fillies chattering and happily sharing a table at the center of the room.

>"Hey Anonymous. Want somethin' to eat?" she asks, flipping a waffle onto Sweetie Belle's plate.

"Do I have to pay for it?"

>"Of course."

>Fuck.

"I'll just have a glass of water."

>"That'll be two bits please."

>Your face scrunches up in disgust and rage, but you eventually flip her two coins (and an avian, when she turns her back).

>"Aw I wish I could make obscure and probably offensive gestures," Scootaloo mumbles.

>Applebloom, cheeks fat with waffle and cutely chewing peers up at you with glee.

>"Hey Anonymous," munching of glorious breakfast meal, "Do you have a cutie mark?"

"A what?"

>You pull up a chair and join them at the table, reluctantly of course, their cute attitude isn't growing on a hardened, brutal warrior like yourself.

>"She means one of these."

>Applejack shows off that fine, fruity flank.

"You mean those apples? Alright, then no I don't."

>AJ doesn't comment, looping around the table.

>"Then you're like us!" Sweetie comments.

"Oh yeah, I guess, but not really because no hooves."

>"No hooves?" AJ waves a forehoof at you.

>Oh good god that little sensitive part on the underside.

"E-exactly."

>Applejack does this weird thing were her face curls into a big smile and her eyebrows travel off her face and fall back down in some sort of semi-sensual facial expression.

"Hey, listen, I'm going to enjoy the morning air, you four try not to get hurt."

>"See ya," AJ calls when you leave.

 

>Something's odd about her, you think, traversing down the road toward the fountain.

>With a hearty sigh you lean against the stone, then almost immediately you get knocked to the side by some pony.

>Turning to confront your foe you're met with an angry looking mare in strange garb.

"What's your problem?" you ask gruffly.

>"Hey fu- Oh never mind. My apologies, I've had a tough day."

>You motion with your hand for her to join you.

"Come, rest, tell me of your woes small pony."

>She lets a low breath out and takes the space beside you.

>"It's a long story, but I need a crew for a dangerous trip, and obviously it's hard to find those willing to leave their homes for something that could get them killed."

"Danger? Trip? Something that could get participants killed? What is it?"

>Your curiosity and excitement are hardly being contained.

>"I've heard rumors," she leans in closer to you, looking around to spy anyone who may be listening.

>"Rumors of a pony, far to the north, who grants wishes and gives gifts. However this stallion can only be seen on Hearth's Warming Eve."

"Interesting. And you said something about a crew? So you must have a ship."

>"Yep. She's a real beauty. But I can't operate her myself."

"Will there be riches and history-making involved?"

>She gazes at you with a furious determination you've only seen in your own eyes that time you tried on that one really cool set of armor at the blacksmith.

>"I seek an all-powerful pony in red who gives gifts to all that ask, obviously, riches are to be made."

"Sign me up," you extend your hand, and she shakes it, a smile emerging on her face.

>"But just you and I won't be enough. We should try to find others."

"I think I may know where we can get a few recruits."

>"Good, good. Where can we meet up later with the ponies we've collected?"

>You tell her about AJ's Inn and almost immediately she's off down the road.

>"This is the beginning of what will be a very prosperous adventure."

 

>You patrol around town looking over the few ponies who pass you.

>Too thin, too big, too much hair, too much horn.

>Nobody fit for peril, and no one who looks like they might enjoy perilous ventures.

>Hmm, maybe AJ might want to leave her post as a barmare for a spell to join you and that odd pony you bumped into.

>You backtrack to the tavern, finding the four of them just as they were, expect now playing some game of cards.

"Hey Orange, you like the high seas, cold winds and free stuff?"

>"Uh."

"Great you'll love this then. A few fellow adventurers and seafarers are going to be in here a little later, it's a long story but there is some stuff going on, you want in?"

>"What? That explains nothing. Why don't you try telling me what the hell you're gonna be doing first."

"Perfect! I'll be back some time tonight."

>You give her a friendly hit on the shoulder

>Exactly as planned.

>Time to pay Twilight a visit.

>Maybe Happy Graves too.

>Those two surely have something to offer this expedition.

 

>Knock knock on Twilight's library's door's wood panels.

>There is some loud thumps, giggles and crashes but your call is answered pretty quickly.

>Somewhat unsurprisingly you're greeted by Happy Graves, who's a complete mess.

>His robes are disheveled, his face paint smudged and possible worst of all is his tangled mat of hair.

"Fancy seeing you here."

>"Heh-heh-hey Anonymous, did I ever tell you how much I appreciate you delivering that letter?"

"No, but that's nice to hear. Listen Graves, I need a bit of a favor."

>He looks are you warily and with skepticism.

>"If it's raising the dead I'll have to say no, that's off the table."

"Uh, no. Something worse."

>You explain the situation.

>As you go on his face turns from calmly content to horrified.

>"Boats? Oh heck no. Plus I got this thing going on."

>He takes a look back into the library, at Twilight, who's peering down from the stairs wrapped up in sheets and looking equally discombobulated.

"Ugh, good lord. I'll leave you two to your...activities."

>"Thanks Anonymous!"

>He slams the door shut.

>As you walk away you're followed by he varying yelps of excitement and "good" coming from the library.

>That book reading must be some interesting stuff.

 

>Trudging back to the inn you hope your partner has found more recruits than you have.

>But when you gauge the room you realize she must have done just as badly.

>AJ's behind the counter as usual and there are a set of rowdy stallions keeping to themselves in the back.

>At the nearest table your expedition's leader is slumped down, face buried in her hooves; empty glasses of milk, tipped over and drained to the dregs surround her.

"I'm guessing you didn't get anyone either."

>You take up the seat next to her.

>"No one!"

>She looks up at you with red eyes, her gray scale mane a rat's nest.

>"Not a single pony!"

"Well we have Applejack. Isn't that right Applejack?" you call to her, waving your hand.

>"Huh?" she responds lowly.

"See, that's something."

>"How is this possible? You know there was a time the name Daring Do meant something! The mere mention of it would bring hordes of explorers seeking fame."

"Who?"

>"Urgaghgh."

>She groans and slams her face into the table.

>Her olive green shirt is ruffled and stained, and she's otherwise out of order.

>"How will I ever get my Pith back?"

"What?"

>"Uh, nothing."

"We should be able to set out anyway."

>"You're probably right. Besides, Hearth's Warming Eve is so close at hoof, if we don't set out tomorrow I don't see how we could ever reach the pole."

>You rub your gloved hands together, soaking in the words.

>This venture has you revved up, the possibilities are endless!

 

>"Pole?"

>"Poll?"

>"What poll?" three voices asks.

>You spin your head around to greet the Cutie Mark Crusaders with a sigh but before you can all three of them are in your lap, poking at your armor and asking ten thousand questions a second.

>"What's this?"

>"Ooh! A scarf!"

>"Can we go to the poles with you?"

>"Will there be flags?"

>"Or voting?"

>Daring Do grunts loudly, her eye twitching and smile manically wide.

>"S-sure ya can girls, as long as you promise to help with the sails."

"Don't you guys have families or something to bother? You're like 7 years old a piece or something. You can't be going into icy wastelands."

>No way in hell you're gonna let these fillies ruin this adventure too, not after the REALLY odd one you had with them last time.

>"Hey Applejack could ah go to the icy wastelands?" Applebloom calls across the bar.

>"Whuht?"

>"See I told you."

>The little filly gives you a raspberry to rub it in.

>"Splendid, now we have a crew."

>Daring rubs her hooves together in a plotting manner, chuckling to the table and herself.

 

>After a night of good rest you, Daring and the crew are standing outside the tavern, bags packed and ready to go.

"Uh, Daring. I just realized. There isn't a port around here for miles. How are we going to get out onto the ocean? Where is the ship."

>"Aha, just you wait. There is a way. There is a ship. A friend will be around soon to help us with that whole open water ocean thing."

>"Anonymous, where exactly are we going?" Applejack questions, pushing her hat up.

"North pole, to see Sant-"

>"SSSSHT," Daring bursts, "don't say his name aloud."

"Then what am I suppose to call him?"

>"The guy who must not be talked about."

"You're kidding me?"

>"Anything but his real name," she growls.

>"Huh? What's so important about his name?"

>"Yeah! What are we suppose to call him?" Sweetie Belle buds in.

>"Sandy Claws," Daring responds promptly.

>"What? Summer Clothes?" AJ asks.

>"Super folds?" Scootaloo looks up at the mare.

>"Baking molds?" Applebloom inquires.

"Hawaiian punch?"

>A loud grunt, for the purpose of attracting attention, breaks the conversation.

>A new, and cloaked, pony has arrived.

>"You got the bits?" a joyful voice trying to be gritty asks.

>Beneath the black folds of her robes you see two pink hooves.

>"Yeah, you got...," Daring interrupts herself, and takes a look up and down the street, "the stuff?"

>"Yep! And I baked you some cookies for the trip!" the pony says in a more natural voice, but coughs and returns to the lowly grovel that doesn't fit.

>"I mean, here's the thing."

>She hooves over a small brown bag, tied closed with string over to Daring, who exchanges it for a bag of bits and a book.

>"Oh goodie! Is this the new one?"

>"Yes, keep your voice down. And...T-thanks for the cookies."

>"Tootles!"

>The pony bounds off rather unceremoniously like a rabbit on crack looking for his next hit would.

>Perhaps that was a bunch of rabbits in a coat selling their possessions, and cookies, for crack bits?

>Who knows?

 

"So what was that exactly?" you turn to the mysterious adventurer beside you.

>She's too busy tearing into the bag to notice you, her face speckled with a crumb or two.

>"We gotta go to the lake," she explains between munches.

 

>The lake just outside of Ponyville has one or two trees near it, but for the most part the land is low and grassy.

"Why are we here, again?"

>"Sssh, I got this man."

>The explorer sneaks over to the water, opens up her sack of mystery and tosses in an object.

>You hurry over, desperate to catch a glimpse of the thing, whatever it is.

>The cutie mark crusaders come bounding over with you.

>Sinking into the crystal blue, water rippling with the cold wind of the winter, a bottle, with something inside it, gets drowned below the surface.

"A bottle. A damn bottle? That's what it is?"

>You turn to her, putting on the most disgusted and ticked off face you can make.

>Before she can respond a mighty groan, like that of bending wood, interrupts her.

>You whip back around, getting splashed with a wave of lake spray.

>A huge, thin, longboat, crafted in Viking style now sits in the cold pool of the lake.

"What the fu-"

>"WHOA, A BOAT!" Scootaloo cries

>"A SHIP!" Sweetie Belle adds.

>"A VEHICLE CRAFTED FOR THE PURPOSE OF SEA BASED TRAVEL!" Applebloom explains.

>"Cutie Mark Crusaders, sailors!"

 

>"Are you strapped in?" Daring asks everyone.

>You fidget against your bounds, you, and everyone else is tied to the main mast."

"Why the hell are we tied to this wooden pole again?"

>"Because, something very bad will happen /any/ second now."

>Daring scans the area, squinting, trying to spot that 'something'.

"We're in a goddamn lake, what's the worst- Oh dear, what's that?"

>There is a grinding, and a gurgling and a mighty roar of water.

>The boat tilts upward, and with it you do as well.

>You fancy you hear the cranking of gears like ones that go to work at the very top of the hill in one of those sick amusement rides.

>"HERE IT COMES!" Daring yelps, hair messy, eye twitching and teeth grinding.

>A sonic boom completely destroys your ears.

>The combined screams of your fellow sailors disorients you, but after a moment of trying to keep down your breakfast you realize what's going on.

>You're soaring through the sky in a piece of wood.

>Taking a nice deep breath you close your eyes, hold the air for a moment and then you yell.

>Loudly.

 

>When you come to you're laying face down in something wet, sorta warm, and fuzzy.

>You push yourself up, finding some grip on wet planks.

>Your vision comes back good enough and you get an eyeful of what must have served as a pillow.

>Three apples?

>Uh-no.

>Applejack is still passed out, and just nearby is a pile of 'snoozing' fillies.

>Gazing up, slowly of course, as to not upset your aching head, you spot Daring at the helm of the ship.

>She spins the wheel this way and that.

"What the hell happened?"

>"We launched."

"You're telling me that was intentional?" you try to sound outraged but you're too tired.

>You notice the lack of weight on your back and realize your warhammer is gone.

>Scanning around you find the long pole end of the weapon lodged into the rail of the ship; wrenching it free you storm up the short staircase and right up to Daring.

"Do you even know where we are?"

>You wave your arm in a sweeping motion toward the icy ocean to make your point.

>Cold winds splash frozen sea spray at you and your crew.

>The deck is already wet with the ocean's water, although there is a small dry spot in the shape of you beside Applejack.

>"We're in the ocean going north. That's the only direction I need."

>She starts humming "north, north, north."

 

>This bitch is tripping.

"Hey why don't you let me take the reigns for a sec?"

>She looks up at you with earnest.

>"R-really? You'd do that?"

"Uh, yes?"

>"Okay."

>She collapse beside the wheel and falls asleep against the railing.

>What.

>You let the ship be, and it just sort of drifts.

>Or maybe it's staying still, you can't even tell.

>Look at all those blocks of ice.

>Going back down you wake up the fillies and Applejack, it takes them a moment to readjust and absorb the information that they've been launched several miles into the atmosphere and then landed in the ocean an unknown amount of time later.

>"So uh whadda we do now?" AJ inquires.

"Um. Pull some ropes and stuff see what happens."

>"Like this?" Sweetie Belle tugs on a loose rope near the mast, letting free the sails.

"Yes! Like that, but try not to break anything."

>This might end well!

 

>The day is coming to a close, the sun is setting in the north and everyone on the ship, which you've taken to calling "The Iceberg that Sunk the Titanic" is getting tired.

>"Hey Anonymous. Why don't we sing a song to boost morale," AJ suggests, calling to you from her post up in the crow's nest.

>In any other circumstances you wouldn't even consider that to be an option.

>However a lot of strange things have happened today and you're not in the mood for an argument.

"That's a grand idea! But I don't know any sea shanties."

>"Aw, ya gotta know something," Applebloom pipes up.

"Well, I mean..."

>"Anything!" Scootaloo adds, tugging on some rope.

>The ship rocks to the left, forcing everyone to grab onto something for support.

>With your foot you keep the still passed out Daring from sliding.

"Alright. I think I know some Haddaway."

>"What?"

"Just follow my lead, and for god's sake straighten out the boat."

>"Heh, sorry," Scootaloo lets go of the rope suddenly, causing the ship to rock back to the left, and then finally sloshing down as normal.

 

"1...2...3..."

>You cough and blink a few times, trying to recall the lines.

"What is love?" you sing, or at least try to sing.

>The four ponies look up at you from their posts, bewildered.

>"Uh...Baby don't hurt me?"

>Applejack sounds unconvinced, but surprisingly it works.

>"Don't hurt me?" Sweetie Belle responds.

>"No more!" Scootaloo continues with a wide grin.

"Perfect! Perfect. That black pop artist's short career lives on through us."

>The singing goes on well into the night, until everyone falls asleep.

>You awake the next morning, head stuck between two handles on the wheel.

>Daring is missing, and you can't spot anyone else.

"Hey, is anyone else awake?"

>O-okay.

>Cautiously you step down to the lower deck, still nothing.

>You careful push open the door with the little window leading to the cabin.

>Inside you find everyone, sitting around a table eating cookies and drinking milk.

"Part of a nutritious breakfast, huh?"

>"Oh hey there."

"How's it hanging guys?"

>"Pretty good, but we dunno where we are," Applebloom says with a mouth stuffed with cookies.

>"I know where we are," Daring answers grimly.

 

>Out on the deck now, and full with "breakfast", Daring points out several icebergs to you and the others.

>"See those?"

"Uh, yah?"

>"We're close. Only a few pieces of ice away."

>Yup we're lost.

>You aren't that worried, the ship will probably just shoot back to Ponyville at some point.

>Yeah, not a worry in the world.

>You're just here, in the middle of nowhere, stuck on a rickety bottle boat with one crazy mare, three annoying fillies and a second, slightly less insane mare.

>This is just spectacul-

>Another wooden roar rings out, this time coupled with a sickening cracking sound.

>"Uh-oh. Was no one steering?"

>You run to the right side of the ship, looking overboard, down to the snowy block of rock and ice and god knows what else.

>There are bits of wood and other shippy things splattered about, right next to the huge spike dug straight into the side of the vessel.

"DANDY."

 

>AJ throws down a rope so the fillies can get off easier.

>You help them onto the icy ground, then AJ herself, all while Daring snoops around a few yards away.

"Well, find anything?"

>"Kinda. I see some lights in the distance. The wind and snow is making it hard to see though," she shouts back.

>Oh great, a storm.

>"It's cold, and my tail won't move."

>Scootaloo tries to wiggle her tail, but it appears completely frozen.

>That makes logical sense.

"C'mon stop being a chicken, I'm sure there is something slightly warm on this very cold rock."

 

>Your group of six pushes forward through the inclement weather.

>It's cold, you can't see two feet in front of you and there are fillies constantly asking the temperature.

>Needless to say you aren't having a good time with things.

>"Are we there yet?" they pipe up all at the same time.

>"YES!" Daring responds suddenly, breaking into a run and delving into the snow storm.

>Applejack looks up at you.

>"Uh, shouldn't we go after her?"

"Yeah probably."

>"C-can you carry us?"

"Huh?"

>The three amigos look up at you with puppy-dog faces, whimpering slightly.

>"We're tired, can you pick us up?"

"You just woke up. How can you be tired?"

>They don't respond, rather sticking their forelegs up, motioning to be picked up.

"How old are you guys," you grunt, taking up Scootaloo.

>The filly finds a comfy place on your shoulder like a parrot.

>Next Applebloom, who plops down on your head, resting her stomach on it and sprawling out.

>Finally Sweetie Belle, who follow's Scoots example, put wraps her forelegs around your neck for extra support.

>You start walking forward, getting used to your new burden.

>"Ahem."

>Applejack tugs on your leg a bit.

>Shooting her a sideways glance you catch her grinning oddly up at you.

>"Heheh..."

 

>Walking in the snow storm with three ponies around your facial area and another in your arms is not the most pleasant, or easy things you've done.

>Soon enough the four of you come across those same lights Daring found, and with them a very strange town.

>Acting as an archway of sorts two huge red and black candy canes stand stuck in the snow.

>Little igloos stand together in a cluster against the now dying storm.

>Right inside the gates of these village stands Daring.

"Hey, what is this place?"

>Before she can respond out from the sky flutters a strange black pony.

>An alicorn!

>His spiked black and white mane is completely still in the wind, stiff with grease, pepperoni and the occasional spaghetti-o.

>"An alicorn! I thought there were only four, uh I mean three."

>"I'm er uh not er uh an alicorn er ugah," his voice is like a wriggling pot of hot steaming pasta come alive, squelching and squirming around.

>"This horn doesn't really erugh work."

>He flicks the short black horn on his head and it flops around a bit.

"Well then what the hell are you?"

>"A erghuuu Bad OC. You're on the island of bad OCs."

"Huh?"

>"Wha?" Daring says, joining in your confusion.

 

>Down up and out of every where crawl, fly and burst an assortment of painfully green, red, brown and stumpy ponies.

>Even a lousy looking dragon.

>"We're on the island of bad OCs!" They all say together.

>Several of them grunt and gag, readying their voices for something.

>They gather around your band in an uneven semi-circle.

>And then it happens.

>They begin singing in an awful, crackly chorus.

 

>"We're on the island of Bad OCs

Here we don't want to stay

We want to travel to Equestria

To try not to be as gay

 

>An alicorn king

>Princes with scorn

>For millions of fillies

>And for millions of colts

>When Enlightment day is here

>The most euphoric day of the year

 

>A horse with a fedora waits for Christians to argue

>Wake up! Don't you know it's time to throw away those false gods

>When Hearth's Warming Day is here

>The most autist day of the year!

 

>OCs galore, scattered on DA's floor

>There's plenty of room for more

>And it's all because of Lauren Faust

 

>A neckbeard for Jimmy

>A blood diamond for Nocture

>That kind that will only say, "M'lady."

>When Fedora Day is here

>The most euphoric day of the year

 

 

>How would you like to be a red and black Alicorn?

>Or a changeling with large wings on your flank?

>Or a dragon that spits...coal?

>We're all shit OCs

>*Unzips katana*

>Or a pony combined with a moose?

>A pegasus with no wings?

>We're all the same!

 

>If we're on the island of bad OCs

>We'll miss all the fun with the fillies

>When Fedora Day is here

>The most edgy, of edgy, of edgy, of edgy, of edgy days is here!"

 

>For about fifteen cold minutes there is silence.

>The OCs stand around awkwardly, itching their necks and looking around nervously.

>The combined redness of their blushing faces melt snowflakes before they hit the ground.

"How long you guys been planning that?"

>"About three months."

>Jesus.

"Listen, can you just take us to someone in charge? Or maybe just someone...normal."

>"Well there's the king."

"Oh great, fine, just take us to him."

>"He's down in the mines, follow me!"

>Giddily the "alicorn" hops away past his friends.

>You set down Applejack and relieve your sore shoulders of their equine burden, all 5 horses charging after the "OC".

>The others wave goodbye and tip their hats to you.

>Just before taking the short staircase down into the mines you flip them off.

>Ah, being a demon hunter might be nice.

>The mines are dark, illuminated only by one or two torches here and there.

>In rows up and down the long room what looks like gravestones are lined up.

>"This is no mine," Daring comments /gravely/.

"It's a tomb."

>You look around for your guide, who pops up right beside you.

>"Oh, heheheh, I forgot he relocated after we started burying ponies here."

 

>You're lead to a small igloo with a little red sash across the door.

>"Y-you go ahead inside, I-I'll wait here."

>You grunt and push open the door.

>Before you can even make sense of the room's set up a chair spins around revealing an angry little brown pony, a cigarette jutting out of the corner of his mouth.

>The place smells of ashes, liquor and sad.

>Strewn about the "office" are socks, who's toe areas are darkened with some unknown fluid.

>"WHAT THE EFF STAR STAR STAR REVELATIONS? I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO NOT COME IN-"

>His expression turns from rage to confusion, his well worn Christmas hat tilted to the left, snagging on an ear.

>His eyes are drooping with sleeplessness, and the corners of his mouth are dragged down by anger in an eternal grimace.

>"Oh Celestia, another human. What do you want?"

>Another human?

>It can't be...

>"We're looking for the North Pole," AJ replied promptly.

>He looks at her with squinting eyes glazed over with annoyance.

>"Are you blind, cowgirl?"

>"U-uh, no sir."

>"Then how did you miss the GIANT SIGN outside pointing right to the north pole. It's five goddamn steps from the candy canes, right there. If I look out my window I can see it."

>"Well. Sorry partner, it was pretty snowy. Couldn't see five feet in front of my hooves."

>She laughs nervously.

>"Listen, I'm not your partner. Now just get out of here. Why do I always get you freaks in my office?"

>"You're mean!" Applebloom states firmly.

>"Oh yeah? Well you're too short to ride on roller coasters. Wrecked."

>He grunts laughter and begins rummaging around in his draws.

>"Where's that damn whisky?"

"What's your name, again?"

>You're going to have to contact this guy again, you need to find this other human.

>"Bold Oh Zer. What's it to you?"

>Without responding you exit, grabbing Daring by the ear.

 

>Of course the rest are quick to follow, all hoping to get out of there.

"Where did you hear about San-"

>"SSSHHHH, we don't say that name."

"Why not?"

>"Don't you know? It makes him disappear."

>You roll your eyes.

"Another human told you this right?"

>"There's another Anonymous out there? Wow, do you think he has a cutie mark?"

>Sweetie Belle starts jumping up and down.

>"Yes, yes. I met another one of you in my travels. He was...larger than you though."

"Larger?"

>"In his tummy area. Really, really roundish. And his face was kinda blubbery."

"What was his name?"

>"Fedora. Fedora the Explorer."

>Your face sags down in annoyance and disbelief.

"You're kidding me?"

>"With a name like Anonymous, you're one to talk."

"Says the pony named Daring Do. Daring. Fucking. Do."

>"Oooh you said a bad word," Scootaloo coos.

"Yeah, yeah whatever."

>"You're gonna get coaled," Daring comments slyly.

"That's not how it works. Come on, all of you, let's just find this guy and go home."

>So much for the gold you wanted from the magic Hearth's Warming Eve genie.

>Your motley crew storms out of town as quick as possible, evading the howls and calls of the OCs.

>Out of town and to the left you spot it.

 

>Finally.

>Finally, all this way and you've found the north pole.

>It's a short red-and-white pole fitted with a bulbous gold knob on the end.

>"HAO HAO HAO."

>Down from the sky, landing with a crack, comes a sleigh driven not by 8 tiny reindeer, but instead a pair of polar bears.

>One of them appears to be sporting a du-rag, and on his clawed finger toe things three large gold rings.

>"Sup," he says in a low voice, nodding to you.

>"Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh," Daring says, spitting and spewing saliva while she hops up and down like a mouse with its tail on fire.

>AJ and the CMC stand close by you, confused and unsure what to think.

>Frankly you're quite excited to see the jolly old elf yourself.

>He looks pretty legit as he exits the sleigh ass first.

>His red, fur trimmed, coat and pants are just as they're suppose to be.

>When he turns around though you're greeted by what appears to be The Burger King with white hair.

>"It's...it's amazing," Daring says lowly, mouth agape.

>You let out a long sigh, taking note of the writhing somethings in the its midsection.

>"Oh great, more of you creeps."

"Sandy, Sandy. I've been a good filly all year. I mailed letters, I ate cookies, I even sacrificed the goat in your name. Now I've come to claim my wish. Please."

>Daring bows lowly before him.

>"Oh son of a diamond dog," the gruff voice of "Santa" responds.

>"Uh, Mr. Sonter Clous, do ya think I could get some apples for uh Hearth's Warmin' Eve?" AJ questions, holding her hat modestly.

"This isn't Santa, you idiots."

>You swiftly move across the snow, backhanding the king across his plastic face.

>As suspected the ruse is unrused.

 

>Out from the collapsed mass of clothing comes three little black bowling pins.

>They struggle back to their feet, revealing themselves to be penguins.

>"Well, jig's up boys."

"I knew it! Goddamn it! I got launched halfway across the world for three penguins. THEY DON'T EVEN FLY."

"Hey listen bub, we don't like it any more than you do."

>One of the penguins takes a pack of cigarettes out from under his useless wings and pops out on of the short white rolls.

>"Got a light?"

>You squint at him in anger.

>"W-what's going on? Where's Santa?" Daring is going around in short circles, making tracks in the snow.

>"Uh, Anonymous, what's going?"

>"Can we get our Cutie Marks in adventuring now?"

"No, no cutie anything right now. Now is the time for being upset."

>"Can we get cutie marks in being mad?"

>You pick up the nearest penguin and start to squish him.

>His eyes grow large and he starts to squeal.

"I want to go back to Ponyville, right now. And if I'm not there in fifteen minutes I'll squeeze the fuck out of you."

>"OOOOOOOHHHH," Scootaloo begins.

"Not now bird-pone. We're negotiating with the flightless ones now."

>"Hey now, easy C, just take the sleigh, I got a wife and kids."

>You drop him down and jump into the red sleigh, pushing out the large red sack.

>"W-wa? How will I get my hat back now?" Daring mewls, rolling in the snow.

 

>"Can we go now, Anonymous?"

"Yeah get in the sleigh, we're leaving this place."

>One by one the fillies jump in the big red ride.

>Applejack follows soon after.

>"Darin' come on, we're going back to Ponyville."

>AJ sighs and then adds in a whisper, "Apple-less and broken."

>"No, I must stay behind, for the hat. I'm powerless without my hat!"

"Yeah whatever. I'm not waiting around on your account."

>"How are we suppose to get home now?" one penguin squeaks in a high pitched voice.

>Their leader, the gruff voiced and drained looking fellow, slaps his face into the snow.

>"We'll just swim."

>He pluges to the ground, sliding across the snow on his stomach, leaving his comrades in the dust.

>This place sucks.

>As a last minute thought you snatch up the heavy sack finding them full with actual, and well built toys.

"Ah why not? Let's go save Christmas."

>"Christmas? What's that?" Scoots questions curiously, diving her head into the bag.

>"When was it in danger?" Applebloom adds, picking out a small train with golden script reading "Friendship Express" on it's caboose.

"I'm not answering any of that."

>You slap the bears with the reigns.

>"EASY there friend, slap me again and I'm gonna do bad things to your liver," the left polar bear grunts.

>The polar bears get a running start and stake flight.

>Not as bad as getting launched from a lake into the ocean, but pretty bad.

>You're eyes are assaulted by flakes of falling snow, and your ears by the screams of frightened fillies.

"ALLAH AIRLINES IS SAFER THAN THIS BULLSHIT."

>Through thick clouds and past strong winds your two drivers run, getting you back to Ponyville in remarkable time.

>With the moon up; sitting high in the sky, coated cozily by sheets of cloud, and the snow falling, you're hit with a pang of Christmas spirit.

>You toss open the sack and dump out all the toys and things steadily over Ponyville in a hazardous stream of cheap plastic wonder.

 

>The sleigh arrives right at the door of the bar, and the five of you step off eagerly.

>AJ tips the bears, and they charge off down the lane with vigor.

>"Well that was nice," she comments.

>"But we still didn't get our Cutie Marks."

"And I didn't get any gold...or fame...Or that sweet armor with the fur cloak."

>"Well, let's just all get some sleep. I'm sure things will be all better tomorrow," Applejack responds, leading the way into the tavern.