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Renojack (PiE Oneshit)

By: Stavicodone on Apr 10th, 2013  |  syntax: None  |  size: 3.01 KB  |  hits: 41  |  expires: Never
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  1. >Day Applejack in Reno and you hate your life
  2. >You found some work at the so-called “Mustang Ranch”
  3. >Nothing here has anything whatsoever to do with Mustangs
  4. >The clientele similarly has nothing to do with Mustangs, Ranch, or any combination of the two.
  5. >You sulk in your bedroom/cell/rape rack.
  6. >The buzzer buzzes buzzingly
  7. >Time for the lineup.
  8. >You straighten up your cowboy fetish gear and put on an incredibly insincere smile.
  9. >Only two other girls are here with you.
  10. >Suddenly the old-timey saloon doors swing open.
  11. >Inside squelches the most unfortunate customer you’ve ever seen.
  12. >He must be pushing 350 pounds.
  13. >He is very sunburnt.
  14. >Sweat beads from his greasy face, complete with line of sunscreen on the nose.
  15. >And of fucking course, he’s looking right at you.
  16. ”Welcome to the Mustang Ranch, how may I ser-”
  17. >”Implying I’d choose anyone else.”
  18. >You stifle the urge to vomit.
  19. >Sir Lobsterback reaches into his pocket and pulls out a wad of bills.
  20. >Well at least you won’t have to stay here much longer than a month.
  21. “C’mon hun, negotiations in the room.”
  22. >You lead the way into the poorly lit hallway leading to your room.
  23. >You alight on the bed, careful to maintain your composure.
  24. “So baby, what do you want?”
  25. >”Do you take special requests?”
  26. “Well, ah don’t do anal. Other than that, just look at the menu.”
  27. >You wave a hoof to indicate a pink and black laminate posted on the wall.
  28. >Raphael Ragu pivots and squints, astigmatism blearing his eyes.
  29. >”That... I want that!”
  30. “Honey, you’re gonna hafta tell m-”
  31. >”The Hoof-and-Half, GFE.”
  32. “How long about?”
  33. >”How much will this get me?”
  34. >He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the wad of bills.
  35. >In your short time here you’ve come to expect hundreds, or at least twenties.
  36. >Rotgut the Red here has at least one hundred fives.
  37. “Oh sweetie, you have got to be kidding me...”
  38. >”There’s $500 here. How long do I get?!”
  39. >His face begins to take on the features of a killer tomato from outer space as he becomes agitated.
  40. “Uh, fer you darlin, Ah can give ya an hour.”
  41. >”Oh great! Where do I start?”
  42. >He begins to breathe much faster, reminding you of an angry, constipated bull.
  43. “Just, uh, go in that there bathroom and strip on down, then we can get ta business.”
  44. >The impressively red lardbucket penguins his way into the bathroom.
  45. >Naturally the doors are also old-timey saloon style.
  46. >Several minutes pass as you begin to worry.
  47. >There is no possible way this can end well.
  48. >This corpulent corpuscle is going to be your partner for an entire hour!
  49. >Keep it cool, AJ, keep it cool. One more week of this and....
  50. >After several excited grunts it happens.
  51. >The parlor doors swing open.
  52. >Mother of Celestia, his whole body is red.
  53. >”OOOOOOHHHHHHH YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH!” He shouts.
  54. >Somehow unable to fit through the doorway he just moments ago entered, sweat positively cascading down his softshell crab-like skin, a look of pure lust alights on his face.
  55. >Today was NOT a good day.
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