Title:           Cookies learns Anon's horrible secret
Author:          Spritejunkee
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/WGyidaYG
First Edit:      Wednesday 27th of May 2015 04:11:49 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Last edit on: Saturday 10th of December 2016 04:14:37 PM CDT

Be Cookies
>Walking to the mess hall so you can eat breakfast with your secret coltfriend
>He's got a box of cereal and a carton of chocolate milk
>Well, you did give him a bit of a "workout" last night, so you guess he's earned that chocolate milk
>You're walking towards his table and...
>Wait
>What's he doing?
>Is he...
>He is!
>He's pouring the milk first!
>Ohshitniggerwhatareyoudoing.jpg
>You let that man do so many things to you
>You feel betrayed
>You feel lied to
>You feel so mad right now
>How long has he been doing this?
>A week?
>A year?
>His entire life?!
>Wait
>No
>No you shouldn't feel this way
>Oh Celestia you're becoming just like your grandpa
 
Be Cookies' grandpa
>You're so glad that you're son didn't marry a milk pourer
>You're also glad that you don't have diarrhea
>Oh wait you do
>Must be the milk pourer's fault
>You release a chocolate stream in to your britches
>Kids call them pants now
>Because the milk pourer controlled media tells them to
>Damn milk pourers
>It feels so good to not be a milk pourer
 
Be Cookies
>You shudder at the thought
>No
>You love Anon
>And nothing will ever change that
>You walk towards his table and wave at him
>Life's too short to care about such things
 
A few hours later
 
Be Cookies
>Walking to the mess hall so you can eat dinner with your secret coltfriend
>Who you love very much
>He's got some steak and a side of fries with ketchup on them
>You're walking towards his table and...
>Wait
>What's he doing?
>Is he...
>He is!
>He's putting ketchup on the steak!
>Ohshitniggerwhatareyoudoing.jpg
>...
>You run to the nearest payphone
>You need to see your therapist right away
 
Authors note: I actually love putting ketchup on my steak