- >be anon. Furiously fapping to pony smut. You were almost finished when
- >you suddenly start tripping balls. Lights and sounds everywhere. This must be a stroke.
- >suddenly reality reasserts itself. You're right hand is badly cramped.
- >that's weird, you're a lefty. Look down and see tiny body and claws instead of fingers.
- >oh shit. It's finally happened. You read one to many greentexts
- >and now you've fucking lost your mind. Full blown psychosis.
- >you realize a woman is speaking. Look up. See Twilight motherfucking Sparkle.
- >Which makes you....Spike. The baby dragon that gets abused and used by everyone.
- >Fuck. What do you even do?
- >"Spike, are you listening to me? I'm really concerned about this! I haven't turned into a >friendship report yet and it's
- almost overdue! At this rate I'm going to be....Tardy!"
- >Twilight seems to be going on into a near identical rant to that one in the episode.
- >this is far worse than you thought originally. Everything is so vivid and colorful and REAL.
- >But what else can you do but just go with it for now?
- >maybe you're just passed out at your desk drooling into your keyboard.
- >maybe this is the kind of thing that happens to people in comas or catatonia
- >maybe you died and this is a prelude to hell? Knowing your luck, this is the most likely.
- "Okay, Twilight, let's not get ahead of ourselves. So far this hasn't been an problem yet, there's always been something to
- report, right?"
- >"W-Well yes, Spike, that is true. But what does that have to do with it? I can't be overdue >on this! I've never been overdue
- on an assignment directly from the Princess!"
- "Okay, I understand that. My point is, this isn't your typical magical research project or lab work. Maybe you should write to
- ask the Princess for an extension. Did she formally ask for reports every week? I can write her right now if you-"
- >"No! No, Spike, I have to prove to her than I can do this on SCHEDULE! Plus, I know your >claw is cramped pretty bad right
- now. You should go take care of that while I think of a >plan."
- >Seems like she won't be swayed that easily. Fine. You could use a good amount of alone time
- >in which to freak the fuck out right now. Plus you can just send a letter anyway, assuming >you can still write with your left,
- un-cramped claw. Should be able to even if this is
- >some fucked up hallucination/prelude to hell scenario. Well, maybe not in that second case.
- >You would tell Twilight not to worry so much, but think better of it. Instead you just go
- >get her a hot bathtowel and say "Remain Calm. I'm going for a walk."
- >waddling more like. God damnit you miss being tall so bad...
- >..and long legs...and long arms...this is torture.
- >'Spike is really out of shape, too. I guess he really was lazy.'
- >outside the Treebrary, there is a very light traffic of ponies clip clopping here and there
- >this street appears to not be a busy one, but you can see heavier traffic off to the west.
- >at least you assume it's the west. The sun is over there. What time is it though?
- >you look around for the town clock tower you're sure you've seen in the show before...
- >Nothing. You curse your shortness once again. You're sure you could have seen it if you
- >were taller. But now your just putting off the inevitable mental breakdown you're going to
- >have because of this insanity. Hopefully you can find a good quiet spot to freak out in and
- >break some stuff and then it'll pass. Hell, you can even start a fire.
- >That's better than therapy, right?
- >You decide to go away from the traffic and look around.
- >Soon enough you find an empty lot that looks like an abandoned contruction site. Perfect...
- >You start to pile up broken planks, shingles, and scrap. The wood is easily cut by your claws.
- >these things are lethal. Good to know.
- >Once the pile is large enough for your needs, you attempt to breath fire on it.
- >A puff of smoke comes out. You try multiple times, but only smoke comes out. Fuck this shit....
- >You start to get angry. You're maybe a meter tall. Probably less than that.
- >You have to waddle around everywhere almost like a penguin.
- >And you can't even into fire whenever you want.
- >As your rage consumes you, you start to notice something happening in your gut. You feel it.
- >A spark of something. You feed all your rage and confusion and despair into it.
- >Suddenly your stomach distends outward, and you feel like you're going to explode.
- >You start vomiting up what look like a giant spitball of white hot lead right onto your impromptu fire pit.
- >The pile of debris you planned to burn explodes with green flames instantly. You get knocked backwards by it.
- >rather than get up, you just roll over so you can see the fire dancing. Instinctively you curl into a ball and
- >start rocking back and forth. This whole situation sucks. The body displacement and discomfort is just the >beginning You're
- probably dead, and soon this situation will turn Grimdark and then you'll be dragged off
- >to God knows where.
- >"Spike? Oh my Celestia, Spike! Are you okay?"
- >Suddenly you try to get up really quickly to turn and see who it is.
- >You end up tripping and falling backwards into the fire...
- >It turns out, you can be burned by dragonfire somehow. 'Magic. How does it work? Fuck, this hurts...'
- >You manage to get out of the fire and rub the soot and ash out of your eyes to see who was yelling for you earlier.
- Okay, you guys tell me who found spike-anon during his therapy session? dubs or first 9 decides
- --------------------------------------------------------
- "Cheerilee? What are you doing here? Is it that late already?"
- >"Nevermind that, Spike, are you okay? You're not burned are you? I didn't mean to startle you like that, I-"
- "I'll be fine. Dragonscales are really resistant."
- >you notice the sun is going to be setting soon, or at least it looks that way. You're not sure if Celestia
- >just suddenly switches it over or if there is an extended sunset/twilight period. hue. twilight.
- "Have you seen Twilight anywhere, Cheerilee? She had been really stressed earlier and I meant to go get some help after I dealt
- with a couple of things over here. Dragon stuff, you know how it is."
- >"Oh, right. Of course! That's why I ran over to this side of town. Everypony's gone crazy! They're all chasing
- >after something as if their lives depended on it! I think they were starting to brawl over it when I was running >away! I tried
- to get Twilight to do something about it before somepony got hurt, but she was collapsed and muttering >nonsense to herself! I
- think whatever is happening affected her, too!
- >I really need your help, Spike. I've heard that you can write letters directly to Canterlot. Is it true? We need
- >to call in the Royal Guard or something!"
- >oh shit you screwed around for too long and now look what's happened.
- "That is true, but I don't have anything to write with here. We may be too late if we run off to get some. I think I may know
- what happened though. I should be able to stop all this if I can just get to the object they're fighting over and destroy it
- with my fire. Then everyone SHOULD go back to normal."
- >You start to run off in the direction Cheerilee came from only to realize you are still
- >the god damned waddling wonder. You stop and turn back to Cheerilee.
- >will she do it? She did resist the charm somehow.
- "I can't get there as fast as you. I'm gonna need your help."
- >Cheerilee looks pretty skittish about this. You decide to play to her maternal instinct.
- "Cheerilee, it's possible every second counts. There could be a dogpile over there with foals at the bottom for all
- we know! Please, help me!"
- >She looks horrified at the thought. It looks like she might faint for a second, but then Cheerilee's whole demeanor >changes
- and she suddenly looks scarier than your insane ex-girlfriend could ever pull off.
- >"Let's go, Spike."
- >You barely manage to jump on her back. She yelps a little because claws. You're going to have to practice this >sort of thing
- if you don't wand to keep slicing ponies up with these things.
- >Wow, she runs a lot faster than you thought a creature her size could manage. Must be doing 35kmh easy.
- >Soon you arrive at the park and see aformentioned massive dogpile.
- >You arrive just in time to see Big Mac emerge from the top of the pile holding the Smarty Pants doll.
- >You feel the power of the spell wash over you, demanding that all your desire be focused on the doll.
- >Fuck that.
- "Cheerilee! I need you to buck me to the top! Right into Big Mac!"
- >She looks shocked for a second, and then nods, reluctantly.
- >Suddenly you go flying off her back as she rears up, twirls and kicks you right in the ass for forward propulsion.
- >OH GOD YOUR FUCKING DRAGONBALLS! YEP! THEY'RE IN THERE ALLRIGHT!
- >You go flying at insane speeds towards the smarty pants doll. The effect of the spell gets worse the closer you get.
- >You're too focused on building the fire back up inside your gut to notice.
- >Your stomach expands again, right as the mind control takes over.
- >It's too late. You vomit the explosive fireball directly onto the doll, and big mac who was holding it.
- >The doll disintegrates. The both of you go flying away due to the explosion.
- >You could swear you hear one of Big Mac's legs dislocate, maybe even break as you land on top of him. He looks >burned somewhat
- and maybe knocked out, but still breathing.
- >You slowly get off of him to check what happened to everyone else.
- >Success. They all seem to be snapping out of it. Checking for injuries. All except one pony.
- >Twilight has collapsed over by a bench. She seems nearly catatonic.
- >You notice Cheerilee is one of the ponies checking the cmc and the rest of the children for injuries.
- >Wow, she turned out to be actually pretty awesome. Who knew?
- >You got lucky this time. If you remember right, in the show Spike wrote that emergency letter to Celestia quite
- >a bit earlier and things never got this bad. Now you've injured at least Big Mac. There may be more in the crowd.
- >You're still not sure if you should be acting as if this is real or not, either. But for now, you will.
- >You haven't woken up yet, and still no sign of grimdark so far.
- >You notice the rest of the mane 6 (minus AJ, who was hovering over Big Mac while nurse ponies you didn't recognize >were lifting
- him into a stretcher) taking their time, walking over to you. They all look pretty shamefaced. Good.
- >You quickly think who would be most likely
- >to have quick access to quill/parchment or if it's better to ask Rainbow to rush to the library and get some of >Twilight's
- stuff. Whatever, let them figure it out.
- "I need someone to go and get me writing supplies. I didn't have time to go get any before, and Twilight is most likely going to
- need Princess Celestia's help to snap out of this one." *sigh* "I told her to remain calm."
- >you turn to face the group, to ask what happened, only to be nearly knocked flat, your entire vision filling with
- >marshmallow flesh and silky purple locks.
- >"Oh, Spike. It was..I..that spell! and you..you saved us all, didn't you? Oh thank you, Spike! How can I ever repay you!"
- >Rarity then proceeded to kiss you on both cheeks. Feels pretty different with the scales and all. Weird, but good.
- "Well, I couldn't have made it in time without Cheerilee's help. I have no idea how she resisted the spell. Maybe Twilight did
- something before she ended up like this. Also, this isn't the time for this. I need those writing supplies, ASAP!"
- >You directed this mainly at Rainbow Dash, who so far had looked mostly dumbfounded at the proceedings.
- >"Huh, wha, ME?" you nod, vigorously, "Right, brb, I'll go get it from the library."
- >Huh. She really does leave a trail of light behind her. That's fucking trippy to look at.
- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
- Meanwhile, In Canterlot Castle
- Celestia had been having a bad day. Why the fuck, did she ever decide to allow these uppity Unicorn nobility to exist? Oh,
- right, as a back-up plan in case she was ever killed or incapacitated so there would be someone to raise the Sun. Well, soon
- that would be a thing of the past, if all went well.
- Thankfully, today was just about over with.
- "Yes, thank you Proud Horn, for your proposal for a gate toll at the entrance of Canterlot. Presented in exquisite detail, I
- might add. I'll be sure to place it into my circular file for review later. Court is dismissed for the day. I must prepare for
- nightfall. If anyone's concerns were not heard today, check in with the Night Guard in the Entrance Hall for Night Court which
- begins soon. If you feel you must return for Day Court, I would still urge you to check in with the Night Court to verify your
- concerns cannot be heard by my Sister. Good evening, my little ponies."
- She marched out the back door without a second glance, throwing Proud Horn's entire proposal in the nearest trash bin and burning
- it in a fire so hot there wasn't even smoke or ash remaining. The trash can would need replaced now...
- >Suddenly, a letter from Twilight.
- >Celestia,
- >There has been a serious magical mishap here in Ponyville.
- >Twilight seems to be currently unresponsive. She has been seriously
- >stressed lately over her friendship reports, and I left her alone for
- >a bit to take care some things, and I shouldn't have. I should have
- >written you much sooner about this, but she asked me not to.
- >Please help us. I'm not totally sure what's wrong with Twilight, and
- >she may need a mind healing intervention.
- --------------------------------------------Spike The Dragon
- >Celestia read up to the word 'unresponsive' and teleported, vanishing in a flash of light and a crack of thunder.
- -------------------------------------------------------------------------
- >You are anon in Spike's body, and your balls really fucking hurt right now. You are conflicted about this.
- >On the one hand, er...claw,
- >this means you still have bait and tackle, even though it's apparently not normally visible. You checked. On the >other hand,
- >it really hurts, and you think you may have to hurl here pretty soon. That Cheerilee sure does have some back leg >strength,
- for an Elementary School Teacher. You wonder if she works out...
- >Paradoxically, you're pretty sure you also need to take a piss, and hope you can figure out how that all works here
- >in a bit. 'Fucking magic...'
- >Just as soon as Celestia gets here so she can wake up Twilight and hopefully give you a chance to slip away
- >and figure this shit out. You'd prefer to see the mane six hopefully getting chewed out, but you just want to go
- >take a piss, get an icepack, and relax for a few hours.
- >Hopefully that letter you sent doesn't take much time to reach her. You have no idea how fast they might move.
- >Sending the letter luckily worked without much effort on your part. You just thought about the urgency of sending it
- >while holding it in front of you and something else took over. You suspect Celestia's magic was involved, as this >fire left a
- very odd aftertaste in your mouth that reminded you of a really hot day at the beach mixed with >that >very pungent smoky taste
- you associate with pussy. Odd, but not too horrible. So Celestia's magic tastes like
- >Sex on the Beach? Now you're curious what other ponies magic tastes like.
- >The mane 6 are all trying various things to wake Twilight up. Pinkie in particular seems to be getting frustrated >that none of
- her jokes or gags are working. Applejack had returned an informed you that Big Mac would make a full
- >recovery, and that he didn't hold it against you for what happened, but Applejack wasn't ready to forgive you just
- >yet. It was right towards the end of harvest season and now they were short one of their biggest workhorses.
- >You offered to come over and help later on, provided Celestia didn't make you and Twilight go back to Canterlot for
- >some extended punishment, or in Twilights case, maybe some therapy time...
- >Applejack seemed doubtful, but agreed to that for now.
- >Suddenly there was an explosion overhead, and a bright light. You are temporarily blinded. Seems like a pretty >legit battle
- tactic. As your sight comes back, you see Celestia approaching Twilight, who starts shuddering again.
- "Move back, my little ponies. Give me a little room to work. Twilight will be fine, I promise."
- >Celestia moves in front of Twilight and lowers her head until her horn is delicately placed against Twilight's.
- >There is some kind of mixing of purple and gold energy going on between them for about a minute of total silence, and >then
- suddenly Twilight gasps, and shoots upright. A look of horror appears on her face, as she fearfully looks up at >Celestia.
- Celestia just looks tired, and a little disappointed.
- >"Princess! I-"
- >for a second there you thought Twilight was going to try and run away, but her expression crumpled,
- >and she looked down at her hooves in shame.
- >"Princess, there is no excuse for what I've done. I was so concerned about delivering a friendship report on time >this week,
- that I went looking for friendship problems to learn about. When that didn't work, I tried creating a
- >problem by using the Want It Need It spell on an old doll of mine. I don't know what I was thinking! It quickly
- >got out of hand and everypony in town seemed to fight over it. I tried to cast a wide area antidote spell on >everypony, but I
- had already overused my magic, and I think I passed out after that. What happened? Was anypony
- >hurt?"
- "I would like to know the answer to that myself, Twilight. I have only just arrived thanks to a letter sent by Spike telling me
- that you had been incapacitated. But rest assured, you and I will be having a long talk about this later."
- >"Yes, Princess." Twilight bowed her head again. Wow, you've never seen her look that depressed or defeated >before...although
- maybe it's just the fact that you're seeing them all in person, which is still pretty fucking >surreal at this point.
- >It looks like some of the mane 6 were about to speak up in her defence, but she turned towards you instead....
- "Spike!"
- >You turn to look up at Princess Celestia. She is massive compared to you. You miss being tall... and that horn >looks sharp
- enough to skewer right through anything. This is actually kind of terrifying.
- "Yes, Princess?" You try to sound mostly innocent
- "I'll be getting a full report from you later on, but I need you to show me the doll that the spell was used on. It seems
- Twilight's antidote must have worked, despite the horn exhaustion, but an enchanted item of that nature will need to be
- destroyed."
- >Ah.
- "Actually, Princess, the antidote didn't work. When we got here everyone was still fighting over the doll. I somehow managed to
- get close enough to burn it to ash before it took over my mind. It's a bit of a long story, Princess. We're still waiting to
- hear how many were hurt, but luckily the explosion and fire only hurt Big Mac, who it seems will make a full recovery. I'm not
- hurt too bad, myself. I just need the bathroom and definitely an ice pack. Also, it was Cheerilee who warned me what was
- happening and helped me get over here and get close to the doll to burn it. Sorry about your doll Twilight...I think the
- antidote must have at least worked on Cheerilee. Was she standing close to you at the time?"
- >you glance at Twilight as you say this last part. She somehow looks even more devastated. She must have really >loved that
- doll... suddenly she seems to come to her senses a bit more. "I-I don't know Spike. I wasn't exactly >thinking clearly at the
- time."
- >Celestia looks shocked at this explanation. It doesn't fit her face. Like she's just not used to ever making that >expression.
- You guess she didn't expect 'Spike' to be able to neutralize a situation like this. You have no idea >what you should or
- shouldn't tell her. Maybe you can change the subject for now...
- >"Oh Spike, you're hurt? Why didn't you say anything!" Rarity chimes in again, clearly horrified.
- >She starts moving towards you as if to check you over for injuries, Fluttershy following her.
- "Yeah, about that, I really need someone to carry me to a bathroom. I don't know if I can wadd- I mean walk that far with this
- particular kind of injury."
- >Rarity stops in her tracks, confusion, and then embarassment flooding her face.
- >You look up at Celestia and/or Twilight for rescue out of this awkward situation, making a vague as possible >'deeznuts' kind of
- gesture. Oh god, how embarassing...
- >Celestia's is the quickest to respond, arching an eyebrow as her magic lifts you onto her back gently. It still >hurts and you
- make a strangled grunting noise. Yep. The adrenaline seems to be wearing off, finally...
- "All of you follow me back to the Library. I want to hear everyone's version of the story. Rainbow Dash, go and inform the
- Mayor that I will want a full list of injuries and damages caused by this incident ASAP. Also, go and get Cheerilee. Then meet
- us at the library."
- >RD seemed annoyed to being used yet again as a gopher, and probably also that she was pretty useless in saving the >day, today,
- but then seemed to realize this was the PRINCESS talking, and gave a salute and a quick "Sure thing, >Princess Celestia" before
- heading off.
- -------------------------------------
- >Without warning, Celestia teleports to the Treebrary with you. Thank god. You thought you were going to have to
- >endure riding on her or some other pony's back while they were walking or flying.
- >You roll off of Celestia's back. The teleport increased your nausea and need to piss.
- >Fuck that hurt. Wait....you don't actually know where the bathroom is in the Library. Or if it even has one.
- >You recognize the basement door, the kitchen is through a short hallway at the back, where there are two other doors.
- >You try the left one...and it's a supply closet. Right one it is.
- >Wow. It looks like a normal fucking toilet and sink. Surprising. Now how the fuck do I pull my dick out to piss?
- >You feel around for a second, but seems to be no physical way to trigger whatever magical bullshit hides genitals in >public in
- this bullshit universe. 'FUCK YOU, I NEED TO PEE RIGHT NOW'. Oh. Well, that worked.
- >........................you have two penises. penii. wat. You do your best to control the streams.
- >This day just keeps getting weirder. Also it fucking hurts to piss. At least it looks like your balls are intact, >just
- somewhat swollen. Gotta get that ice pack...
- >eventually your business is over with, but you can't figure out how to hide your weird as fuck junk again.
- >you've been in the bathroom for a while now trying to understand it.
- >There's a knock at the bathroom door.
- "Spike, are you alright in there? If you need help with something or you're hurt, you know you can tell me."
- >That was Celestia. You're sure of it. What the fuck. 'Oh well, I guess it makes sense. She must have helped raise >Spike,
- after all.'
- >what the fuck do you do now???
- ------------------
- "I don't think I'm injured too bad. Just having trouble putting it away for some reason. Maybe it's because of the swelling?"
- "Spike, I'm coming in. I should do a medical scan to make sure you don't need to go to the hospital. How did you recieve this
- injury anyway?"
- >You weren't ready for this. You go completely stiff as the door opens slowly and Celestia walks in. You are now >definitely
- blushing at the thought of Celestia staring at your brand new dicks. You're not even comfortable looking at >it yourself yet.
- Plus they're smaller than your old one, even if that's expected of someone Spike's size. Still, >this is humiliating, and
- confusing, and OH GOD WHY BONER, WHY!
- -----------------
- >She's leaning her head down to get a closer look at your balls. There's no escape now. just try to calm down.
- >Her horn lights up and the magic field envelops your junk. You start sweating bullets. That feels so fucking good.
- >You can barely pick up that same scent from before. You're dicks get even harder.
- >You can get through this. Just let her finish and don't think sexy thoughts. Remember, you're just a child to her.
- "I think you're going to be okay, Spike. Let's just get some ice for it. You won't be able to hide it again until the swelling
- goes down more. Can you answer my question, Please?"
- >You finally look her in the eyes. Either she's got a killer poker face, or this whole scene doesn't bother her in >the
- slightest. It could be either, really. Wait, question?!
- "Oh, r-right...Uh..I think I mentioned before that I was off taking care of some things when this all went down. It was
- Cheerilee that came and found me. She mentioned wanting me to send a letter for help. At the time we were on the outskirts of
- town, and I had no supplies, so I convinced her to take me to the scene instead. When we got there, the ponies were all in a
- massive dogpile fighting over the doll. I knew I couldn't reach it without help, but since Twilight wasn't available, I asked
- Cheerilee to buck me up to the top where the doll was. Looking back, my plan was pretty crazy, but luckily it worked out. I was
- just too worried about everypony to risk going to get my stationary kit first."
- >Celestia looks pretty skeptical of this story at first, but then smiles.
- "Well, Spike. I can't disagree with your decision. And I want to thank you for protecting all my little ponies."
- >She paused to give you a light kiss on the forehead and a nuzzle....'woah, that's unbelievably soft.'
- "However, in the future, I will ask you to write me first. Even if you do not have supplies, I will enchant one of your claws so
- you can superheat it and write on any available material. It will also enchant the material for the flame transport spell. I
- will show you how to use it later."
- >Suddenly, Twilight bursts into the room.
- >"Spike, are you okay? I got here as fast as I could."
- "Twilight Sparkle." Twilight looked fearfully up at her mentor "Spike will be fine. I have verified this myself. However, it
- would help if you could go get some ice for his...well, just go get some ice, and carry him up to bed, please. When you are
- done, return to the main room. I will wait there."
- >Twilight nods, nervously, offers a "Yes, Princess", and suddenly you are being horn-handled again. This time your >vision tints
- pink, and you can faintly smell old books, ink, and again with that faint tang of sex.
- >You try to turn and look at Twilight, but you can barely move. She seems to be fighting tears at this point.
- "Twilight?" you say. She looks turns you more to face her. Yep, definitely crying and afraid of what her punishment will be.
- But resigned. You sigh heavily. "Twilight, please listen to me. You should know that no matter what the problem is, I will
- always listen and help you out of any situation. Even if all your other friends won't. I will."
- >You say all of this to her, while hovering in mid air with your dangling dragon dicks not two feet from her face.
- >Maybe you should have thought this through a bit more...
- >And you're now being hugged by Twilight Sparkle. Dicks pressing directly into her stomach fur. Awkward, and highly
- >arousing.
- "Thank you, Spike." she wispers. "Thank you..."
- >She pulls you away again just as things were about to get REALLY awkward. What with the boners and all.
- >You gratefully accept the ice pack and plant it directly over your shame immediately. Twilight seems to feel a bit >better as
- she giggles at your antics as she carries you upstairs and places you on that damn catbed thing.
- >Afterwards, you can't hear much clearly, but it sounds like a lot of lecturing by Celestia is going on. And pleading >of the
- mane six to her to allow Twilight to stay in Ponyville. You slowly drift off to sleep, listening to Celestia >talking softly
- with Twilight.
- ------------------------------------------------
- >You are Anon. You still have trouble believing any of this is real, but you've spent the last two and a half weeks
- >settling into life as Twilight Sparkles number one assistant, Spike. The fact that you haven't been determined to be >a
- Changeling or some other kind of imposter yet astonishes you. In fact, it's been making you paranoid that everyone >already
- knows and Celestia is just researching a way to get rid of you and bring the real Spike back into existence >somehow.
- >This terrifies you. You have a horrible gut feeling that even they tried that, the real Spike in this world died >when you
- woke up here, so they would just end up with nothing, probably killing you in the process as well.
- >But you have no reason to suspect any of this. It's just paranoia......right?
- >You also have no reason so far to suspect this isn't really happening. At this the vividness of everyday life >here rules out
- everything that might explain this except MAYBE coma or death. After all, no one actually knows what >happens when you die,
- right? You briefly recall that you had been viewing mlp pron when you ended up here. It sucks >to know that you may be dead and
- your family found you with your dick out with that stuff all over your internet >history.
- >Aside from the drudgery of the everyday reality of being a Librarian's assistant, you do get some brief periods of >alone time
- here and there to go practice new tricks with your fire or new claw writing. That is, after you do >whatever extra chores
- Applejack has for you that day. Oh, right. This brings you
- >to the biggest reason for all your paranoia. Celestia had promised to teach you new ways to send emergency notes or >letters in
- situations where paper and quill were not available. The problem is, Celestia is a very busy woman...er, >mare. So she asked
- her sister to teach you instead. Using dreamtime. You really were not prepared for this...
- >Really that mare's dream powers should be illegal. Total invasion of privacy. You remember it well...
- >Now that you'd spent a decent amount of time living among actual ponies, not to mention that you'd caught glimpses >here and
- there of unguarded marevag...(you still weren't sure why it happened. The only explanation you can think of >is a rash of
- horniness or just forgetfulness on their part. You might believe that second option in Applejack's >case) You have started
- having wet dreams again. You haven't had wet dreams in years. You rarely had them even when >you were a teenager. Maybe it's
- just that Spike's body is different than your old one. You're pretty sure he is >about that age where it starts to become an
- issue.
- >Oh well. You weren't really complaining. This latest dream was really pulling out all the stops. >You were a >strange mixture
- of your old body height and type and Spike's unbelievable toughness and near flawless scales. >Somewhat similar to that 'Man-
- Spike' fantasy of his that was in the show, just a lot more you. You would wonder what >an older Spike/You would really look
- like, but at the moment you're entire attention is occupied with the orange mare >currently riding reverse cowgirl on both of
- your dicks, which were now back to their normal size, and no longer kid >Spike size. Such a beautiful sight. You reach over and
- begin firmly massaging her ass, and the bright red apples >there as she continues bouncing. The act causes her to turn back and
- look at you. A nearly unimaginable look of >love an acceptance comes over her hot sweaty face as her long blonde mane falls to
- cover her left eye. You don't like that. Her eyes are so pretty. And such a rare color in the world you came from. You reach
- up to move the >strand of mane out of the way as you simultaneously pull yourself up into an embrace from which it would be
- easier to >kiss her-
- "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS! SPIKE THE DRAGON, I HAD COME TO OFFER YOU MY AID ON MY SISTER'S BEHEST, AND I FIND YOU ENGAGING IN
- GROSS DEFILEMENT OF EQUESTRIAN DREAMSCAPE! NO LESS THAN HALF OF PONYVILLE AND PART OF TROTTINGHAM ARE NOW BEING INFLUENCED BY
- YOUR GROSS LUSTS! HOW IS IT THAT A MERE CHILD DRAGON CAN HAVE A MIND FULL OF SUCH DEPRAVITIES! CEASE YOUR FUCKING WHILST I AM
- SPEAKING TO YOU, WHELP!"
- "Well. This is awkward." Your statement is punctuated by fantasy Applejack suddenly farting. You stare at her, but she just
- smirks at you and pops like a soap bubble.
- >God, your repressed sexual fantasies are getting weirder. You notice you are STILL wearing AJ's hat. Score!
- ---------------------------------------------
- "Greetings, Princess Luna. Are you part of the dream, or real? Hey wait a minute, I'm lucid now. Sweet! Thanks, Luna! Wait,
- what was I dreaming about before?"
- >You look down at yourself, and try to look perturbed. You revert back to kid spike. You still have the hat, though.
- "Of course I am the real Princess of the Night!" She sighs in annoyance. "What am I to do with you? Ugh, the minds of
- adolescents never cease to disgust me!"
- >'Just keep up the poker face, anon! You can get out of this scott free!'
- "Huh? So why are you here again, Princess? I thought dreams were private affairs?"
- >You can feel sweat pouring off you. Remember, poker face. You weren't having a naughty dream. What are naughty >dreams,
- anyway, Princess?
- "I have told you before! I am here at the behest of my Sister about new training that you require. She was most perturbed about
- this latest happening in Ponyville regarding Twilight Sparkle."
- "Oh, I remember that now! I think she mentioned superheated claw writing?"
- >we're almost there. the subject is changing!
- "Yes, now let us put all of this unpleasantness behind us, and begin the lessons!"
- "Uh, sure thing, Princess Luna!"
- >And that's how you escaped unscathed from she who walks through dreams. At least the first time. You're dreading >the moment
- when she'll enter your headspace unannounced again....It's driving you paranoid!
- -------------------------
- No comments so far on the smut. I'll assume no one here wants to focus on Spike-Anon's weird fantasies.
- >What's more, Nightmare Night is coming up soon, and you're certain that this is the same Nightmare Night where Luna >shows up to
- learn more about the holiday dedicated to her 'alter ego'. You just hope Luna continues thinking Spike >just had a nasty run in
- with....puberty and tries to forget that whole dream scene. After that incident, you noticed >your dreams had gone mostly back
- to normal. You guess the invasion of privacy led to even further repression.
- >Great. Now it will probably build up and cause you other problems unless you can find a way to get some 'Spike time'
- >unmonitored. Which is harder than you thought. Especially now that your spending 'free time' finishing up this >costume that
- apparently you'd 'been working on for months', according to Twilight. Apparently, Spike had thought it >the perfect plan to
- dress up as.....a dragon! You'll give him points for being a wise ass, at least.
- >at least you got the basic claw writing trick down before this costume business popped up. Luna had actually been a >very good
- teacher. Who knew? She really should take on her own magic students...if she hasn't already.
- >You can now send a message to Celestia and/or Luna with nothing but thin air, your left hand, and your fire.
- >Maybe it will come in handy some day?
- >After your encounter with Luna in dreamland, you also got relieved of your daily chores over at the Apple Farm. >Applejack had
- seemd flustered about something, and wouldn't look you in the eyes anymore whenever you saw her. >Weird. You hope you hadn't
- broken any of the tools you had been using and didn't realize. You know AJ has a head >for penny-pinching.
- >You were currently trying to sew together a large T-Rex like head to wear as a mask, but this task really goes beyond >anything
- you've ever tried to sew before. You were going to have to ask for someone's help, and you knew better than >to bother Twilight
- who was trying to get her historical outfit absolutely perfect. God, you forgot how annoying >perfectionists could be at
- times...not to mention wasteful. She had already gone through a lot of that fabric. You >were seriously confused at this point
- how Twilight actually makes a living for you and herself. And that bothers you >that you don't know your own financial
- situation. But reall your just stalling, now. You're going to have to go ask >Rarity for help. If you're lucky, she'll be too
- busy with Nightmare Night orders already and will be able to >reccomend some other pony's help. If you're not lucky, you'll get
- drafted as Rarity's personal manservant for God >knows how long. Probably until Nightmare Night a few days from now.
- Ugh....there's nothing to do but bit the >fucking bullet. You wrap your half-formed abomination in some cloth, tie it off, and
- head out of the Treebrary.
- >It's a cloudy day, and there's a bit of a chill in the air. It looks like it might rain, but really you have no idea, since the
- >pegasi control everything and that still freaks you out a little so you haven't looked at any weather schedules. It's too
- >discomforting. Weather is supposed to be forecast, and the forecast is supposed to be mostly wrong...
- >You pass by several ponies who wave at your passing. They all seems to look at you as a curiosity. You really should learn
- >more ponies' names. Lyra actually pulls up to walk beside you.
- "Yo, Spike! Is it really true that dragons have double penes?"
- >you sigh in annoyance,
- " Yes, Lyra, we do.......Wait, how did you hear about this!? Has Twilight been talking about me behind >my back!?" A look of
- shock fills your face. "And why would you even ask that?! I'm only 14!"
- >Lyra has the decency to look ashamed. Apparently she has a rep for blurting out innapropriate questions so this isn't a total
- >shock at least.
- "No, I, uh, heard about it someplace else! Yeah, that's it! WELP, GOTTA RUN!"
- >She dashes around a corner and out of sight. You really don't have time for this...so you continue onwards to Rarity's shop,
- >which luckily isn't too much farther. For some reason you receive no less than 4 brohoof's from passing stallions. Okay, you
- >really have missed the fucking memo.
- >What is going on? Oh well, you'll have to think carefully about this later, but you're pretty sure somepony is spreading rumors
- >about you. Who would do that? You're just a kid. Well, sort of.
- >You're here. The moment you've been dreading. You don't want to become manslave Spike like you saw many times in the show.
- >You're not into that, right? You steel your nerves and knock at the door.
- Sorry for not writing too much. I'm at a new job and it's torture, so I'm really exhausted this week..
- >And now your just standing here at the door. You can hear Rarity inside humming some tune to herself. She must be busy 'in the
- >zone'. You hate to interrupt, but this t-rex 'dragon head' thing is going nowhere and you don't want to hang around outside and
- >risk more people asking awkward questions or generally acting weird and different around you. You just go ahead in. It is a
- >business, after all.
- >As you go in, the bell rings and this actually snaps Rarity out of her work, which appears to be a complex 'gothic vampire lady'
- >type outfit.....not that interesting. Then again, you guess it depends on who's wearing it. She looks like she's about to go
- >into her practiced greeding mantra, but sees you and stops, a neutral expression on her face.
- "Hello, Spike. It's good to see you. I would like to know what brings you here today, but first, answer me this. Why have you
- been avoiding me?"
- >You stand there slack jawed. You hadn't even been in this world that long. Spike must have always hung around Rarity a lot
- >more often than you thought. Then again it makes sense. He did appear to have a total case of puppy love for Rarity.
- "Avoiding you? I....I apologize if it seems that way. Since I got Big Mac hurt I'd been helping Applejack with chores on top of
- my normal library assistant duties. But earlier today she told me I wasn't needed anymore and I finally got back to working on
- my costume, and got stumped, so, here I am? I would have asked Twilight for help, but she's impossible right now preparing her
- own outfit..."
- "Well, Spike, as you can imagine, I've been busy as well. In fact I received no less than five new orders for....ehehe...well
- let's just say I'll be busy for the next few days. However, I always have time for you, my little man."
- >You cannot contain the arched eyebrow that overtakes your face at this term of indearment. What the..?
- A hoof rises to cover her face as she stifles giggles at your expression.
- "I see I cannot fool you, Sir Spike. I will fix your costume for you, but I will need your help for the next couple of days.
- You will have to keep my sister Sweetie Belle occupied and away from my workspace during the day. Do you accept this mission?"
- >God damn, she is smooth. Is it worth it to endure Sweetie's high pitched voice for two days? To have a functional costume?
- >Nope. To keep your cover as a little dragon who will always help his woman (in this case, Rarity)? Yep. This is happening.
- >You go to one knee and place your left hand over your heart.
- "I will dutifully perform this task to the best of my abilities, Milady."
- "Then rise, Sir Spike, and hand over the costume. I will expect you on the morrow at 9 a.m."
- >You stand, and hand over the package you'd brought with you, bowing.
- "I'll be there, Rarity." you chuckle. "Sometimes I wonder who needs a dragon assistant more. You or Twilight."
- "Oh, Spike, don't even joke about that! Why, Twilight is your family!"
- >You smile. You thought she'd say something like that.
- "Why Rarity, surely I'm not the only little lost dragon egg out there. I bid you good day, my lady."
- >With that you're pretty sure you've bamboozled her enough to make your escape. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Rarity.
- >Never try to bedazzle a bullshitter! Someday you're going to get her back for all this. You're just not sure how, yet.
- ----------
- >It didn't take much convincing to get Twilight to accept your term of temporary employment with Rarity in exchange for services
- >rendered. You're almost positive she wasn't listening to anything you said. Perfect.
- >You arrive at 9 a.m. sharp and knock at the door to the boutique. Rarity answers the door 20 seconds later in a bathrobe and
- >curlers in her hair. Despite yourself, you actually find this pretty hot...
- "Oh, thank goodness, Spike, perfect timing! My parents will be here with Sweetie any second now. I'm just finishing up
- breakfast for their arrival, so you can answer the door!"
- >She rushes off back to the kitchen, turning so quickly you actually get swatted with her tail.
- >And now her scent is stuck in your nostrils. Unbeleivable. It's like a subtle hint of a medley of gemstones underneath
- >whatever shampoo and/or perfume that was. You've eaten a handful of gems in your time here so far. They taste like candied
- >meats of all flavors imaginable slathered in bouillon and msg. It's like the ultimate junk food for meat eaters. No wonder
- >Spike liked them so much. They killed your taste buds for anything else for a while, though. Not good, in your estimation.
- >Obviously an addictive substance. Maybe once a week, to relax with a stiff drink, if you could get away with it. Plus you seem
- >to be able to eat just about anything without problems, so you didn't need them.
- >You step inside and shut the door. You wonder if Rarity's talent mark brings out this scent, or if she always had it. Yeah,
- >let's stop that line of thinking. Gross.
- >You can hear things sizzling in the kitchen and smell....oatmeal with cranberries. Nice. Okay, you really need to stop getting
- >overwhelmed with processing sense of smell information you didn't have before. And yes, there's the door.
- "Hello, Sir, Madam, and Miss, Lady Rarity will recieve you in the dining room, presently. I am her temporary assistant, Spike the
- Dragon."
- "AIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEE!!! A PURPLE LIZARD! QUICK HONEY, SHOOO IT AWAY!" Screamed Rarity's mom at what you hoped was the top of
- her lungs.
- >Rarity's father just looked flabbergasted, as if he'd never seen a tiny dragon before. You see him reach with one hoof to the
- >other...shoulder..wither... well, in any case, the move reminded you of every time you'd seen someone reach for a shoulder
- >holster, whether in movies or not. Who the hell is this guy?
- >Sweetie Belle just looked at you, nonplussed, but also curious, somehow. At least you think so. Maybe she just needs to go to
- >the bathroom?
- "Right. Well, if that's over with, like I said, Rarity is expecting you for breakfast. I'll just be catching up on my assistant
- work back here."
- >You move aside to let them pass. For a moment you thought they would just stand there, but then Raridad just guffaws.
- "Ha! That's right, I heard from Rarity that her new friend had a dragon assistant! Never thought I'd meet a dragon that didn't
- want to eat me! Put her there, Spud! Name's Magnum, this is my wife Sandy, and my youngest, Sweetie Belle. "
- >He offers you his hoof. You have no idea if it's to shake or brohoof. You go with a full on handshake, man to man, and he
- >seems to approve at least.
- "No problem, Sir. It's nice to meet all of you. And the name's Spike, Sir."
- "See, Sandy! No problemo! Now let's go and embarass our daughter!"
- >They head off towards the kitchen, where you swear you could here Rarity muttering "What was I thinking?!" You're not sure about
- >what.
- >Suddenly you realize Sweetie wasn't with them. You whirl around quickly, but see her nowhere. The door is closed. You're sure
- >she was here just a second ago.
- "Are you sure you're a dragon? You just look like a fat lizard to me..."
- >Oh GOD YOUR HEART! You whirl around again to find Sweetie directly behind you. Dude, that's creepy...
- >You collect what's left of your dignity and answer her.
- "I'm still a fairly young dragon. I have to build up plenty of excess fat if I'm going to grow into the next stage of my
- development. Twilight is always harping about it, even if I don't like it much. Are you sure you're a Unicorn? I haven't seen
- you do magic yet?" You asked with arched eyebrow.
- >She suddenly looks eager to prove herself, but also very, very nervous. A most likely bad combo. You must have hit a sore
- >spot. What have you done?
- "Hmph! You watch me, I'll prove I can do magic!"
- >Sparks start flying out of her horn, a couple of them singe the rug. You wince.
- "Wow, you managed some sparks. That's more than I would expect from an average Unicorn your age."
- >Maybe placating will get her to stop practicing indoors.
- "Wow, you think so?" She squeaks.
- "Yeah, I know so. I spent a lot of time growing up at a magic school." Well, Spike did anyway.
- >Without further ado, Sweetie hops off to the kitchen, obviously in better mood.
- >You hope you can survive two days of this.
- ----------------------------
- >After breakfast, Rarity's parents had headed out for their 'business trip', which would apparently last for roughly 'a week or
- >so', leaving Rarity responsible for her sister. Kinda jerkish, in your opinion, but whatever. It's family, and Magnum at least
- >seems cool.
- >Soon after their departure, Rarity promptly freaks out about her work orders and deadlines and all that.
- "It'll be ok, Rarity. You have the next couple of days to get work done, during which Sweetie Belle and I can go do something
- totally harmless and inane, like practice magic and dragonfire, and practicing mixing magic and dragonfire."
- >You say this last part under your breath so only Sweetie, who is standing beside you, can hear it. She seems nervicited about
- it.
- "Everything will work out, you'll see!"
- "Yes..." said a distracted Rarity, "totally harmless and inane things. That sounds very safe. Spike, you are a lifesaver! Now
- shoo, the both of you!"
- >Rarity gives Sweetie a nuzzle and vanishes into her workroom.
- "Well, let's not hang around here. Too much breakable stuff. I know a great place to get some magic practice in, though!"
- "Really?" Sweetie Belle squeaked at you. "Where? Everywhere I've tried it adults yell at me..."
- "Oh, don't worry, this is the perfect place. No one will complain, even if a fire starts. Plus, later on, we can go bug
- Twilight to teach you a fancy trick or two."
- >This angle seems to be working with Sweetie so far. She seems in a good mood as you lead her to the abandoned contruction site
- >where you first figured out how Spike's fire worked. Well sort of. The only thing you were sure of was that you still had a
- >lot to learn about thedragons in this world, including yourself.
- >The actual inane chatter was somewhat annoying though. You barely listen to tales of school and things the CMC did, some of
- >which were bordering on incredulous, but you guess every kid tends to play up their adventures to be larger than life.
- >Something or other odd she said caught your attention back there, but what was it??
- >Oh yeah
- "Wait wait wait. Did you say his name is literally 'Teachers Pet'? That's his name? That his parents or guardian gave him?"
- "Uh...." Sweetie stopped for a moment to think. It looked adorable. "I think so? He does write it on all of his assignments."
- >You facepalm. That, seriously, is fucked up. What the hell kind of a name is that?
- "Is he though? Does he actually act extra nice to Cheerilee and hang around her more than the other students?"
- "Yeah, he does. Some kids make fun of him for it, but he doesn't seem to notice. He only really pays attention to her, anyway."
- >You facepalm again. This is unbelievable. In fact it once again brings the reality of this whole situation into question again
- >in your mind. How can shit like this be real? Are names self-fulfilling prophecies in this world? Were you eventually going
- >to die a horrible death involving spikes?
- "Oh wait, we're here." you say, thankful to get off this train of thought.
- --------------
- >In actuality, you have no idea how Unicorn magic works in this world (nor Pegasi or Earth pony magic, or magic in general.)
- >This really bothers you, since you are a magical dragon for all intents and purposes. You were hoping to learn something new
- >from watching Sweetie Belle attempt follow your directions.
- >Yeah, so far watching Twilight work has been just way too arcane and not basic enough for you to get anything out of it yet.
- >And most of her books on magic were the same. If only there was a universal primer....but no. Experimentation was the only way
- >you'd learn at this point without raising suspicions about things 'Spike' might should probably already know about. You'd had
- >to play dumb or forgetful with Twilight too many times already.
- "Okay, Sweetie, why don't we start with you telling me what you know about magic so far. First, what IS magic?"
- >She looks confused for a second, then seems to collect herself and put on a look of concentration.
- "Uhh...oh, hang on, I know this one.
- Harmony lives within the soul,
- Born in the heart,
- Shaped in the mind.
- Speak from the soul,
- Lead with the horn,
- And the world will follow.
- Err....oh, wait, did you want a definitivi-..er, a definition?"
- >Actually, you'd read the definition in the dictionary. Which didn't help and was very generalized. It basically said 'magic is
- the use of arcane power to affect reality in some discernable way.' This is more interesting.
- "Actually no, that was good. Where did you learn that saying?"
- "Oh, I heard Rarity humming and singing it one time while she was working. She explained it was about how magic worked. A newmo-
- contraption."
- "A mnemonic device, right. Did she explain how it worked?"
- "Yeah, she said it helped her focus and get in touch with her magic better if she was having an off day. She said the key was
- the last word in every line, sort of. Soul, heart, mind, soul horn, world. She said there was a natural Harmony to the world
- that followed a similar pattern in reversal to that pattern and that magic happens when they meet in the middle and resovoir!
- Magic is so cool! Can you teach me how to do a magic spell now! I want to make fireworks or hunt for gems with my horn, like my
- Sister!"
- >Well, you've finally struck gold. At least you think so. You guess this whole side adventure with Sweetie Belle was worth it
- >even to learn this information. It was apparently so basic that everyone knew it already and it never came up in conversation
- >or any of the books in Twilight's library that you've scanned through so far. The mnemonic device makes the whole thing sound
- >like a circuit created within a particular magical being, and then, a bridge connection with the outside world. For a unicorn,
- >obviously the horn. For others, less obvious how it works. Still, this might clear up a lot of things in those books you tried
- >to read before.
- "Not yet, Sweetie Belle. First you must lift.....a pebble!"
- >You reveal a pebble you had cleverly hidden behind your back. You're sure to use your off hand for this test in case she
- >somehow managed to burn your whole hand off, despite dragon toughness...
- "Oh......Okay. I'll try my best!" She says overeagerly.
- She focuses on the pebble in your hand intently. Suddenly, her horn flickers and lights up with a pale lavender aura. The
- pebble stays still. You say nothing to distract her, but this looks promising. Suddenly, she looks discouraged and the aura
- flickers off.
- "*sigh*...I couldn't do it, Spike. What am I doing wrong?"
- >You take on a thoughtful posture. Scratching a bit at your chin as if to stroke an imaginary beard.
- "Hmm...I think you should think about your process a little bit. Where did it falter?"
- "Umm...at the horn? Mama says I have to wait til my horn develops more before I can learn magic. She said most get control of
- it after they get their cutie marks..."
- "Aha. I see. I'm sorry to hear that. You want to know a secret, though?"
- >You looked back and forth as if to make sure no one was around to overhear you. Then you motioned for Sweetie to come closer so
- >you could whisper the secret.
- "What? What's the secret?!" She whisper-shouted so seriously that you almost lost it and started laughing.
- "The secret is..."
- ----------------------
- >You lean up close to her ear, as she eagerly tries to hear your whispers, and stick out your long forked tongue directly into
- >her ear. You've learned that forked tongues are amazing at 'wet willies'. You assume it'd also be pretty good for cunnilingus,
- >not that you plan on trying that anytime soon, what with being percieved as a kid and all.
- >At first Sweetie just seems shell-shocked, but then, you hear the most blood curdling scream of all time. Ever. Shit. This
- >played out funnier in your head. Suddenly an angry look comes over Sweetie's face as she turns to you. Her horn lights up like
- >a christmas tree. You are now floating three feet off the ground. Well, we got there in the end. Okay this is starting to
- >hurt. The magic is gripping you a little too tightly.
- "Awesome, it worked! I can't believe that works...Okay, Sweetie, can you move me around?"
- >Sweetie just gets a shocked look on her face and drops you. Well, okay then. You stand back up and brush yourself off.
- >Sweetie is busy innefectually rubbing her ear with a hoof.
- "See, you can do it if you focus hard enough! It looks like all you need to do is some focusing exercises that work for you.
- That little song must work for Rarity, Twilight has her own methods, now you need to find your own special way of repeating what
- you just did. Make it a part of your identity, your signature, and it'll all mesh and the magic will happen. Then you can move
- on to the cool stuff."
- "Like Fireworks?!"
- "Well, we're going to try something like that, yes. We're going to try to widen the circuit so your magic mixes with my magic
- and make magic dragonfire do interesting tricks. But first, you should stop and think real hard about how exactly you just
- lifted me with your magic. What did it feel like? What emotions did you experience?"
- "I was really surprised. And angry. Why did you do that, Spike! That's gross!"
- >You look away slightly.
- "Well, I've read of a similar technique working in an old book written by an apprentice mage about his life. He couldn't use
- magic either until his master provoked him to anger several times so he could get a good grasp on it. I actually wasn't sure if
- it would really work, but it did, so, I'm sorry, I guess?"
- >She gives you a frustrated look.
- "I can't get it out of my ear! You'd better take me somewhere where I can clean this! It's making me crazy!"
- >You sigh, defeated. You guess there was just going to be no more progress quite yet. You motion for Sweetie to follow you as
- >you head for the library.
- ---------------
- >You and Sweetie Belle enter the library quietly so as not to draw attention from Twilight right away. Not that that was likely
- >with how busy she had been lately.
- >You lead Sweetie back into the bathroom and dig around in the medicine cabinet for that weird analogue you saw for cotton swabs
- >in this world. You offer it to Sweetie, but she looks leery of handling it herself.
- "Can you do it, please, Spike? I don't trust my magic that well yet. I could stab my brain or something!"
- >okay, fine. You can do this. Opposable thumbs and all, right?
- "Okay, but hold still. Do you want it with or without the rubbing alcohol?"
- >She looks horrified.
- "What, no! You actually do that?"
- "Yeah, doesn't everybody? I mean if you want your ears clean, why half-ass it?"
- >Shit. You're pretty sure that's the first time you swore since you got here. What a time to slip up...with a kid, no less.
- "What does a mule have to do with any of this, Spike?"
- >oh. right. Saved by the mules.....damn.
- "Actually, that's just an old saying. You probably should never repeat it. Neither should I."
- "Why?"
- "Because it's really outdated, and people might think you're a dweeb if you used it."
- >damn. That was pretty smooth, in your opinion.
- "Oh. Okay then!"
- >She's so cheerful all the time. It's kind of infectious. And that confused look of hers is so cute. Eh, focus on what needs
- >to be done.
- >You raise up the implement, which is a long stick with fluffy bits on both ends. It's as sterile as you can make it at this
- >point, so you're going in, as Sweetie Belle tries very hard to remain still, and shuts her eyes tightly in anticipation and
- >obvious fear that you'll stab something vital in her ears. She's lucky this isn't your first time doing this to a pony's ear.
- >A couple times Twilight had demanded that you do it for her, since she claimed with your hands there was a much better job done
- >overall and it was apparently relaxing....Twilight is weird sometimes.
- >As you do your work on the ear you assaulted earlier to prove a point, she slowly starts to relax, and let out the breath she
- >was holding. Also, you notice her right hind leg is twitching somewhat, as if she wants to kick it.
- "See, not so bad, is it? I know what I'm doing. Do you want to go ahead and do both? I'll have to get a fresh one. This one
- goes over there in the laundry."
- >You hold out the tool in your hand and, without thinking, she grabs it with her magic and carries it over to the laundry.
- >Awesome. She should realize in a second what just happened.
- >She makes a sickeningly cute squealing sound and turns around with a big smile on her face.
- "I did it! I did it! I did it! Did you see, Spike, I controlled my magic field!"
- "You sure did. I think you're really getting the hang of this. We'll have to get some more practice in later."
- >You turn back around to get another of the thingies. You really need to find out the proper name for these q-tip things. As you
- >turn back around you are greeted with the nearly the entire bathroom floating around in that pale lavender aura. Also,
- >Sweetie's eyes are glowing somewhat, like Twilight's did occasionally. Uh oh.
- "Sweetie? Hey, can you hear me? SNAP OUT OF IT!"
- >That last part came out really loud. Like a roar. You didn't know you had it in you.
- >Twilight burst into the bathroom, looking incredibly worried, and saw Sweetie and all the floating things. Her horn flashed
- >briefly, and all the objects fell. Wow, that's impressive. You would wonder how Twilight does it, now that you understand the
- >very basic essense of magical processes, but she's been doing it for almost her whole life for this point, it must be pure
- >reflex by now.
- >She rushes over to Sweetie to check her over, and seems satisfied. She then smiles to reassure Sweetie.
- "You're going to be fine, Sweetie Belle. And congratulations on your magic developing. If you want, I can give you a lesson or
- two sometime on basic magical theory and spellcrafting."
- >She looks around as if realizing for the first time where they were, and that you were the only other occupant. She gives you a
- >look. It's one of those looks only females can do right that says 'I know this has got to be your fault somehow.'
- >You give her a wide eyed stare in return. You've seen this look in the mirror. On Spike, it's pretty unnerving.
- "What are you two doing back here anyway? I thought you were over at Rarity's playing assistant there today, Spike?"
- "Well, Rarity is extremely busy on some...uh, a rash of private orders that recently came in, and she asked us to get out of her
- mane for a while. So we were just having fun and talking about magic and stuff like that."
- "Yeah!" Sweetie broke in, "And I hadn't been able to get my magic to work right yet, but then Spike stuck his tongue in my ear
- and then it worked! I picked him up! Then I wanted to get something to clean out my ears, so we came here and Spike used the
- swab and then without thinking about it, I carried it to the laundry with my magic! Then I got so excited I had to try more.
- I'm not sure what happened after that."
- >Twilight is glaring daggers at you now. You chuckle awkwardly and try to look sheepish. Thanks, Sweetie Belle. You may
- >actually get neutered now. That story sounded so....lewd, even to you. And you were there.
- "What happened, Sweetie, was a magic surge. It happens to lots of young fillies and colts who first come into part of their
- power. It can happen again, later on at different stages of development, but that's less likely. Judging from that surge, you
- seem to have a lot of potential."
- >Twilight rounds on you again, leaving Sweetie Belle looking confused, but pleased with herself.
- "Spike, what did you do?" she says in a low voice, "Did you actually provoke a magical surge in her just because you could?
- That's.....so wrong! It's supposed to happen naturally! It's destiny!"
- >Destiny...what?
- "I didn't know this would happen, Twilight. I just saw she was frustrated about only getting sparks, and I pulled a couple of
- tricks on her to help her along. Also, I told her if she succeeded we'd bug you to teach her a thing or two while Rarity is busy
- with what I suspect are...adults only work orders."
- >She gives you an incredulous look, then a frustrated look and roll of the eyes, and then comprehension about why it was Rarity
- >had kicked the two of you out for the day.
- "Okay, that's fine. But please don't try anything like that again with other kids unless I'm there to keep things under
- control."
- "Well, if it ever comes up again, I'll keep that in mind. Thanks for putting up with us, Twilight. Oh, and...try to keep any
- lectures to a level that Sweetie can actually follow."
- >Twilight looks flustered at this accusation.
- "Spike, I shouldn't coddle her just because she's young. You know what the Unicorn School is like, and after that display, she's
- a prime candidate. I may write to Princess Celestia about her, even."
- >Oh well. You tried. You'll try to translate everything for Sweetie after the lecture.....Sorry, girl.
- >Behind Twilight, Sweetie has gone back to levitating random objects and zipping them around here and there. Now she's trying to
- >turn the shower on and off with it. Bad idea. The cold water valve is already old and weak. It breaks and a torrent of water
- >goes directly into the back of Twilight's head, getting you pretty good as well. Sweetie looks properly horrified at what she's
- >done and tries to re-attach the handle.
- "Don't worry about that, Sweetie. I'll seal it off for now, and later I'll get a replacement."
- >Twilight's horn lights up again and you watch as the metal of the pipes gets superheated and folds into a tight spiral, sealing
- >off the water's escape. That was impressive, and a little scary, actually.
- "Now, the both of you, follow me out into the library. I'm giving you a lecture on the basics of magic, and then we'll go
- outside, where I'll teach you a few useful spells you can practice on for now, Sweetie Belle."
- "Yipeee!! I get to learn real magic! Wait til I show Rarity!"
- >Your sure of it now. You're going to be deaf by the end of the first day. At least you're certain you would have been if you
- >were still human. Thanks to dragon toughness you're just going to have to live with the ringing in your ears.
- ----------------------------
- "Okay, we'll start with the basics. Here is a diagram showing the meridian system of the three pony races. We're going to be
- focusing on the Unicorn, obviously. As you should already know, the horn is the point at which the unicorn's magic merges the
- inner 'self-world' with the 'outer world', which Philosophers and mages formally refer to as 'The Noumenon'. The inner world has
- various names, but most often is referenced as 'Qualia'. The placement of the Unicorn's horn makes their magical circuit the
- shortest of the three races. This is why they are capable of much more varied spells and enhantments and are often thought of as
- 'more magical' than the other two. As you can see on the Earth Pony Diagram, their meridians run thickly all over their body,
- strengthening it, and getting especially thick at the hooves and the base of the tail, giving them their innate connection to the
- Earth, and therefore their ability to grow things and know the health of the land and plants they interact with. They also keep
- those things healthier just by existing in a given area. It's how the Apple Orchard in Appaloosa was raised so quickly on such
- dry lands. It doesn't end with making fertile land or growing plants, either. It extends to the growing of crystals, finding
- underground water and caverns, and makes them key in finding the best sites for new construction. The list goes on and on."
- >Twilight paused for a moment to check if she still had their attention. You give a thumbs up and look over to Sweetie Belle.
- >She looks overwhelmed, but Twilight doesn't seem to notice and continues.
- "To bring this back around to Unicorn magic, the smaller loop in their major meridian system actually has the opposite effect as
- that of Earth Ponies. Leaving them more separated from the universe around them. This is what makes all but the most basic
- Unicorn magic difficult to accomplish, and quite different from the nearly innate abilities of their friends. It means that in
- order to breach the horn and enter the noumenon, A Unicorn must first find a way for their intended spell to resonate both within
- themselves, and with the outside world. In other words, they must find a way to meet reality halfway."
- "Any questions so far?"
- >You can think of a few, but you look to Sweetie Belle.
- "You go first, Sweetie Belle. I'm sure you have lots of questions."
- >She looks hesitant to speak up, so you make some vaguely encouraging gestures. It probably just looks like you're flapping your
- >arms around all over the damn place.
- "Then how did Discord do what he did? And where does Spike fit into all of this. Do you have a diaphram for Dragons?"
- >Wow, you did not expect any of that. Sweetie Belle must be even smarter than you thought.....
- >By the looks of it, Twilight didn't expect that shit either. She looks like she might be choking on something.
- ------------------
- "I'm kind of interested in that second one, myself. But when it comes to Discord, I have to suspect that the answer has
- something to do with power levels? Or does that even apply?"
- >Twilight seems to recover somewhat as you add your 2 bits to the discussion
- "Umm....Yes! It kind of applies. Princess Celestia wouldn't tell me much about Discord, but what little I got out of her leads
- me to believe it has to do with both the amount of power he wields, plus just how good he is at uh, well, for lack of a better
- way to put it, 'convincing reality that he is right, and it is wrong, and it must just be mistaken, surely.' This is a result of
- his being even further removed from reality than any Unicorn could ever be, and being arguably insane.
- "Dragon meridian systems are strangely malleable, and seem to change as they grow older to match their personality and how they
- make use of it. They seem to always start off similar to an Earth Pony's well balanced system, only with more robust lines, with
- the add on of the system that allows them to breath fire and be extremely resistant and resiliant overall. The malleability
- seems to be related to how dragons end up in all different shapes and forms, some with or without wings, as well as some ending
- up growing into a shape fit for life in the oceans and rivers, and others not. And it's diagram, not diaphram, Sweetie."
- "Any questions actually about how Unicorn magic works? That was kind of the point of this lecture, although it's always good to
- have curiousity."
- >Sweetie Belle looks worried to ask her next question as well. Oh boy.
- "Is resonating with reality the same thing as Harmony, like the Elements of Harmony?"
- >Twilight looks pleased this time. This should be interesting.
- "Yes and no. Harmony with a capitol H is an effect that occurs in a situation where lots of ponies of all three types in a given
- area are in sync with each other. Most likely you've seen it's effects when a large group of ponies will burst into song
- together. This happens more often around holidays or weddings or festivals. It can also be triggered by a single pony feeling
- very strong emotions that resonate with the ponies around them.
- "The Elements act as a focus which multiplies this effect, and if guided correctly, can be used by a Unicorn or Alicorn to alter
- a wide area or destroy exorcise, and/or purify a particularly powerful troublemaker. As you may know, While an Alicorn is by
- nature strongly connected with the noumenon and therefore able to weild the Elements on their own, a Unicorn like me needs
- friends to help.
- "Resonance, on the other hoof, is merely the basic ability of a Unicorn to affect the world around them. You could say that all
- Harmony is a kind of resonance, but not all resonance is Harmony."
- >Okay, now you had a pretty big question.
- "Twilight, can the individual elements do anything on their own, and also, if they're just a tool, why are each of them
- associated with some virtue or other? You know, Kindness, Generosity, Laughter, etcetera."
- "Actually Spike, we don't know the answer to that for certain. We think it all has to do with friendship creating more
- resonance, and therefore more magic and Harmony. Can you see how it all flows together? That's why we were told to stay here in
- Ponyville in the first place, after all! Research!"
- >Oh, right. Friendship is Magic. Wow, what the fuck. It actually makes sense.
- "As to whether the individual elements can do things without the full set, we also don't know. I'm planning to write a proposal
- to the Princess about running a lot of experiments with them, though. Right now they're locked up tight in Canterlot."
- >Right. You forgot about that, actually. That vault that Discord easily broke into.
- "Okay, if we're ready to move on, I'd like to teach you a basic transmogrification spell. Let's go out back.!"
- >Sweetie squealed again in anticipation and got up to follow Twilight outside.
- >You follow them at a lazy pace, your mind reeling with all the new information. You wonder how much of it 'Spike' should have
- >already known, or if he even cared about any of this kind of stuff.
- "Okay Sweetie, you'll be focusing on turning this stick into an apple."
- "An apple?"
- "Yep, an apple. Go ahead and try it."
- "Well, okay."
- >Sweetie glares at the stick and her horn glows. Soon the stik glows too, and it morphs its shape into that of an apple,
- >complete with stem and a little leaf on top.
- >However, the apple is very obviously still made of the same wood that the stick was comprised of. Huh.
- >Sweetie looked at the 'apple' and then back at Twilight, who was smiling as if she had been waiting for this exact moment.
- "See, the apple is still wooden! Now, why isn't it a real apple?"
- "Uh, because I'm not powerful enough yet?"
- "No! Because you need to know the precice material components of your intended final product! In other words, you need to study
- in order to do most magic! Isn't it amazing?"
- >You facepalm. You knew there had to be a catch.
- "But isn't she right, though, Twilight. Isn't it possible to force it to work through more magical power or other kinds of
- knowledge of what an apple is aside from dry scientific data?"
- "No! Because that's just lazy, Spike! The more you know about what you're doing the more it resonates with reality, and the
- easier it is, when it comes to Unicorn magic. That's why most of the lazy unicorns out there just learn a couple of tricks
- relating to their special talent and ignore the entire rest of the realm of magic. Ponies out there just have no respect for
- Science!"
- >Twilight is now breathing heavily. She's really passionate about this.
- "Sweetie Belle, promise me you won't neglect your studies like all those other unicorns."
- >Sweetie Belle looks a little worried, now...
- "Um....okay, I promise! I really want to learn lots of magic! Um, can you show me how to do this one correctly?"
- >Twilight nods happily and leads Sweetie Belle back inside, where she goes into a long lecture about the anatomy, development
- >cycle and ripening of apples, as well as the history of apples, apple farming, apple flavors, dishes, etcetera. To be honest
- >you tuned a lot of it out.
- >Finally you find yourself back outside witnessing Sweetie's second attempt at turning a stick into an apple.
- >This time it appears to have been totally successful. You ask if you can taste test it. It looks like a perfectly red and
- >shiny red delicious apple.
- >It's kind of mealy but red delicious are always like that, and aren't your favorite anyway. You cut off more pieces with your
- >claws and hand them off to the ponies. They seem to approve as well.
- "Excellent work, Sweetie Belle! I knew you could do it! Now I'll teach you one more thing today. Illusions!"
- >Sweetie Belle looks confused.
- "Illusions? But what's the point of that?"
- >You decide to interrupt here.
- "You said earlier you wanted to try making fireworks. Illuions should be the safest and easiest way to accomplish that for you."
- "Right, thank you, Spike!" Twilight says happily.
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