Title:           ??? ??? ? ??? AKA PH's ending
Author:          Spankflank
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/LJFphctC
First Edit:      Saturday 5th of September 2015 08:56:18 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Saturday 5th of September 2015 08:56:18 PM CDT

>BJ and a handful of secondary characters ride a train into the anus of the core
>Lancer is chewed to death by a fleshy hellhound monster-thing. He gets a few seconds to ask BJ to kill the final boss, then bleeds out.
>The Legate is still alive and is some kind of flesh monster the size of a building
>Apparently the Legate is a literal final boss, with glowing weak points and everything
>BJ cuts off Psychoshy/Whisper's wings to save her from being eaten by the Legate
>Glory's sister is chomped; ends up half-digested and missing all her hair and feathers.
>The Legate beats the shit out of BJ
>He stops to gloat
>The Eater of Souls melts him because it's a giant cunt
>review time
>Psychoshy loses her wings, Dusk loses her feathers and hair and skin, Crumpets (remember her) is crushed but alive. Pythia is fine. Psalm is battered but otherwise fine.
>Lancer, Aries and Sweetie Bot are ded
>And the dealer is alive
>BJ tells him her cutie mark story while walking through a river of blood to go fight the eater
>Oh, and Psychoshy's pregnant too
>Blackjack flies to fight the eater, dual wielding shotguns in her magic
>BJ tries to disable the eater's shield thingies and gets knocked out in an explosion, then has a dream about an alternate past where her mother took over stable 99 and stopped any of the plot from happening
>BJ ends the dream by killing everyone and herself with chlorine
>Another dream and now she's Luna talking to Celestia. FoE and PH are fanfictions that Luna is writing now that the war's over.
>Yes, really.
>Ends the dream by having Luna shit on a peace treaty with the zebras
>Not literally, but then again
>BJ considers using EC-1101 to control the eater, but it reminds her of every villain she's faced so far and she realises it's kind of a dumb idea
>Another dream. Return to the asylum hallucination thing.
>whatever
>J fights the Eater, which takes the form of a massive silver serpent/dragon thing
>They shout at each other a lot
>It tears her in half
>BJ reaches into her own entrails and pulls out the power core of her cybernetics, which is a piece of moonstone.
>She uses it to blow up the last shield generator
>Tom takes the form of a giant alicorn and stomps the Eater into the ground, burning it at the same time
>Yes it's the same Tom you're thinking about
>He's a bunch of moonstone imbued with the soul of a star
>The Eater dies whining like a little bitch
>The Eater screamed as the second claw, pressed against Tom’s chest, soon followed.  “NO!  I don’t want to die!  Please...”
>“All things die,” Tom answered.  “Hush now... it’s time to go to bed...”
>The eater dies and all the millions of souls it ate fly away
>BJ dies in the middle of the wreckage, comforted by P-21 and Glory's souls
>And that's the end of 77.
 
>Epilogue time.
>100 years later
>Someone's telling the story of Security over a campfire.
>BJ was apparently confirmed dead and buried at a tomb in chapel
>Apparently Scotch Tape went on an adventure to the zebra lands with Pythia
>Pythia is some zebra from the tail end of the story, I don't know
>There are two major pony nations now, the NCR and the Lunar Commonwealth
>Reverse 90 years (10 years after 77)
>BJ's children grew up with the Society.
>Earth pony colt, unicorn filly. Pale blue coats with black/blue striped manes.
>Their names are Baccarat and Bouillotte
>Psychoshy has talisman'd bat wings to replace the ones the legate bit off
>She has a chat with Velvet
>Velvet and Calamity have seven children
>Whisper/Psychoshy is pregnant too
>Psychoshy is the element of magic
>Fluttershy is still alive
>Fluttershy meets Psychoshy and her son Noctilucent - mustard yellow batpony with a deep purple mane (Stygius is the dad, remember)
>Hugs and crying ensue
>Fuck this is a long epilogue
>Back in the distant future with the campfire ponies
>One of them is BJ's distant descendent
>Her name is Glimmershine
>She has Blackjack's memories, and a sort of partial Blackjack consciousness
>She goes to see Littlepip
>They have sex regularly
>“That’s why I find other ways to make you feel better,” I murmured, giving her ear a little nibble and earning a squeak.  “Even after two centuries.”
>“Hey, I got a letter from Homage too,” I pointed out, smirking and gazing into her eyes.  “‘Take care of LittlePip and make sure she’s happy emotionally, intellectually, and sexually.’”  I crinkled my eyes in mirth as she squirmed, like she always squirmed.  “And I still haven’t beaten her score.”
>“What do you want, Blackjack?  Besides making me sick and sex?”  There was warm familiarity beneath that prickliness.
>Yep.
>Velvet, Calamity, Derpy, Lionheart and Celestia are dead, naturally
>Suddenly, Boo appears wearing mare do well power armor
>She is part draconequus
>Littlepip hates her and calls her a terrorist
>Boo apparently stole an entire shield generator or something, I dunno
>Back just after BJ's death, apparently sweetie bot is still alive because reasons
>She steals BJ's pipbuck from her grave
>Littlepip and Glimmershine/Blackjack go into space
>They're in orbit over the moon now
>Project Horizons' explosion glassed the surface
>They're looking for Rampage
>Moon ponies, or something
>They find Rampage's corpse, which crumbles to dust
>The talisman's burnt out
>Glimmerjack cuts the talisman open, freeing Rampage's soul(s)
>Filly Rampage appears
>They look back at Equestria
>“So, where are we going?” Rampage asked, actually sounding like a filly for the first time ever.
>I hugged her close and reached over to put a hoof across LittlePip’s shoulders as she guided us back to Equus.  “Home,” I answered her.  “We’re going home.”