Title:           Soviet Smarty 2
Author:          Sovietanon
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/rJrmY3pP
First Edit:      Saturday 9th of June 2012 11:52:09 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Saturday 9th of June 2012 11:52:09 PM CDT

"I make good smawty, get aww fwuffies nummies
"I gif big owwies to bad fwuffies an' munsta's
"wike I gif big owwies to bad smawty
>the other fluffies all seem to perk up at these prospects
>they all gather around you reguardless of previous allegiance
>you then point to the old smarty, blood is dribbling out of his nose in between sobs
>disgusting
"as smawty, I say we gif big owies to bad smawty"
>the fluffies cheer and charge at the wounded smarty
>at first he thinks they're here to give him "huggies"
>you are very wrong comrade you think to yourself
>the fluffies proceed to beat him senseless
>like spetsnaz initiation
>it takes a total of 10 minutes of furious beating to finally crush the poor smarty windpipe
>he suffocates on his own blood
>harsh but nessicary
>can't have them questioning the state now can we
>you look over you new soldiers
"smawty say bring all foodies an' fwends to
>you look over the landscape
>and off in the distance you spy a large mountain of trash
>looks like a pile of newspapers
"thewe" you say as you point
 
music http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUytBuZ_hN4&feature=related
 
>it's been about 30 minutes and you've already aquired a rather large group of about 50 fluffies
>you must've united two of the dominant groups
>you look over the fluffies with pride
>you have a nation now
>and you will guide them to a glorious victory
>you stand on an old crate and address your prolitariot
>and you already have your first order of buisness
>you need to be able to speak normally
>or at least in un retarded english
"Smarty has a new way to talk"
>you shout this, your sudden change in launguage causes a few to jump in fright
"Smarty can talk good because he's smart
>you say this proudly while pointing at yourself
"smarty has new rules for all fulffies too
>the all look very surprised, you guess they lived in anarchy until now
>you'll introduce them to real order
"1st rule all fluffies get the same nummies"
"no fluffy gets more foddies than any other"
>a few of the less filthy unicorns look absoluty livid
>one of them steps up
>"fwuffy get mowe foodies becawse fwuffy is bettah
>a resounding cry of "yea" comes from the other unicorns
>"yoo no smawty yoo dummy fwuffy! he shouts as he puffs up his cheeks
>so you've found the parasites of the group
>good
 
>you turn and glare at the puny unicorn, a white one with a yellow mane
>he seems less sure of himself but his comrades cheers egg him on
"what about the wingie freinds and the earth fluffies
>you smile as you say this you know what his answer will be
>"fwuffy no cawe about stupid wingies an' earfies"!
>you turn to the other fluffies
>mostly pegusai and earth fluffs but a few less fortunate unicorns are mixed in
"you hear that freinds, these meanies don't wanna share the nummies"
>you then turn back to the unicorn
"smarty show what hapen to bad fluffies"
"bad flu8ffies who take more than they need"
>you snatch the unicorn by the back of his neck
>and bring him to eye level
>you then grab his horn with you free hand and bend it straight back
>GI Joe isn't the only army man with iron kung fu grip
>Commissar Ivan has that shit too
>the horn dosen't snap off but it does swell up and bend out of shape
>it curves back over his skull now
>"WAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!" it yells and thrashes about in your grip
>the other unicorns look on in silent horror
>but you're not done yet
>you hold him up by his disfigured horn for all to see
"smarty wants this done to all the fluffies over there"
>you point at your captives freinds
"and all their foodies and beddies are to be taken to me"
>you thyen toss the weakly sobbing unicorn into the mob of now enraged fluffies
>they tear him apart limb by limb
>just like the october revolution
>the other unicorns suffer greatly
>you look on with pride
 
>the surviving upper class are horribly disfigured
>and as you requested all of their possesions are piled in front of you
>you force the unicorns to watch as you give away all of their food and bedding and toys
>each fluffy gets an equal share, you make sure of that
>any dissent is punished by a swift beating
>nothing deadly but enough to get your point across
>You then go about selecting officers
>first the kommissar
>you look over your fluffies
>and one in particular catches your eye
>a greyish blue pegusus with a long scar across his face
> he looked tougher than most of the fluffies you've seen
>and he was cover in scars and filth
>you stroll over and pick him up
>one of the still sobbing unicorn nobles wails
>"NUUUU no gif dat fwuffy huggies dat fwuffy bad"
>yes he'll do nicely you think to yourself
>you scratch the pegusus behind the ears
"your name is now Yarrick"
>you name him after your hard ass granddad, a kommissar in the great patriotic war
"and you're in charge of giving owies to bad fluffies"
>Yarrick nods slowly
"your the kommissar"
>"comisaw?" the little guy says confused
"thats what we call the bad fluffy beater upper"
>you said that quite chipper you bastard you
>you chuckle to yourself
>now we need a general
 
>in reality the general was just the fluffy that would keep the others from running away in a fight
>You'd be giving all, the commands
>your powertrip is truly endless
>you delve back into your glorious work and the flithy crowd of dump fluffy
>it's been an hour since you clocked in
>this shit was too easy
>the downside was you were as filthy as these ponies
>as you pick through the pile you raise your hand to fuffies like you're going to strike them
>most flinch
>these aren't what you're looking for
>finally you find one thats missing an eye
>he's a red earthie
>as you approach he puffs up his cheeks at you
>and' you're sure that little fucker just growled
>he's perfect!
>you grab him in a similar fashion to the first fluff
>he thrashes about despratley ttrying to bite and kick you
>but he stops when you set him beside Yarrick
"your name is patch"
>you grin when you say that
>they called your best freind patch
>the mujahadeen shot his eye out with a makarov
>he killed them all with his bare hands
"why caww fwuffy patch"? he asks suspiciously
>he's even paranoid he'll take to this well
"because of this" you say as you cover his eye with the eyepatch you keep in your pocket
>never hurts to keep one, you never now when they're might be an eyepatch emergency
 
>good, now that you have the leadership
>you don't have to worry about your society falling apart on you
>you still have to go home and stuff
>it's not like you can live at the dump
>but these two can, and you're sure they'll keep to your rules
>if not you'll have to find replacements
>you then turn back to the crowd
>you try to count the gender ratio
>looks like 30 able bodied males and 15 females 13 of which are pregnant
>one is in the process of getting pregnant
>ugh! thats nasty, and you've seen some nasty shit in the war
>there are also about 21 foals tottering around
"all boy fluffies step forward"
>they all do, even the foals
"not foals, no foals, all foals step back
>they mesh back into the rabble
"rule two is all the boy fluffies up front are now army fluffies
>"awmeh fwuffies" most of them uttuer
>learning must be verbal with them
>or all external stimuli is confusing to them
>you'll go with the latter
"yes army fluffies stop bad fluffies and monstas from getting the foals and nummies"
>you're quite proud of that one
>it helps that dump fluffies seem to be smarter than domestics
>either that or they just listen to other fluffies better
"all army fluffies listen to patch"
>you point to your new general
"patch you make sure the army fluffies don't run away"
"if they run you give thembig owies for a long time"
"then they go to gulag"
>you then point to an old bird cage you'd found on your way here
 
>you spend the rest of your day teaching them to gather scrap and salvage
>and you spend a great deal of time teaching them how to do that task with less injury
>stupid things don't learn very fast but the enthusiasm is there
>just like conscripts back home
>you eventually have the scrap you need to make it look like you worked all day
>you leave at around 9 pm
>you like to work late, so what
>when you turn your scrap in to the forenman he eyes you and grins
>"have fun with the fluffies today
"I met them if thats what your meaning"
"hardly dangerous creature like you describe"
>you used to chase bears in your underwear with a stick back home
>this kid didn't know trhe half of it
>you proceed to the liquor store
>tonight you buy the good stuff
>Celebration of epic victory today requires epic booze
>you pass out happy that night
>your plan went flawlessly
>the next morning you drink a heroes breakfast (vodka and raw eggs)
>you put on your BDUs and pack your plastic mask in youre back pack
>you also pack a few other things
>a soviet flag, a pair of binoculars
>A shitload of beggan strips, a Shovel and a crowbar
>and finally about 4 tubes of super glue and 5 rolls of duct tape
>The 2nd stage begins today, total sublimation of local herds
>and the improvement of infrastructure