You Might as Well Enjoy It

You Might as Well Enjoy It

Lolicon (kinda), blowjob

 

This one is dedicated to Jo, whose delightful art is the sole reason this thing even exists.

 

        Trooper Rob ducked bellow the lip of the trench, narrowly avoiding a spray of fleshborers.  They chewed and chattered on the ground behind him for a few seconds then stopped.  He fiddled with his helmet to make sure it was on properly, then snuck a peek at No Man’s Land.

 

        “Scree!”

 

        He ducked back down again.  Out there, not ten yards away, was one of those things.  A small one, thank the Emperor, but still foul.  The dugout above him was riddled with another spray of tiny beetles and Trooper Rob clutched his lasgun closer to him.  A Luminor MkIII, the design was officially classified as a carbine, but it was closer to a pistol in his opinion.  The simple tube had an activator switch and a wide dispersal head.  His company had been rearmed with the MkIII’s in the hopes that the wider lasbeam would be more effective against the swarm.  Maybe it was, but he was still the only one left.

 

        “SCREEE!”

 

        Above the trench he could hear the tiny xeno scuttling towards his position.  Gulping down a prayer to the Emperor, he forced himself into an upright position and hit the activator switch on his MkIII, pointing it forward and struggling to keep from shaking.

 

        “SCREE-“

 

        The alien’s call was cut off short and Rob opened his eyes.  He hadn’t even realized he closed them.  Before him, he was surprised to see that his lasbeam had gone wide, mildly singing some lichen on a rock a few feet away from the Tyranid, but it had still died.  The creature was contorting into itself as a green light enveloped it.  In seconds the charred, blackened remains simply stopped being there; neither disintegrating nor being blown away by the wind.  There was a tangy smell in the air and he heard a strange fizzling sound.

 

        Trooper Rob started to turn around and look for the source, but movement in the distance caught his eye.  Then it caught the breath in his throat.

 

        The entire horizon was a roiling mass of purples and reds, all clawing closer and closer towards his position.  His lip quivered as he glanced down each line of the trench.  Compared to the swarm heading his way, the waves upon waves of bug-like aliens that had killed comrades over the last three days were scouting parties, at best.  This was their main force.

 

        “Hi” said a cheery voice behind him.

 

        Rob turned, startled, and raised his Luminor.  The figure behind him was transformed into a gleaming brilliance of cold and silver light.

 

        “Hey,” said the voice again, a hand coming up in front of its face, “stop! That tickles!”

 

        Somehow feeling keenly embarrassed, despite the circumstances, Trooper Rob flicked the weapon into the off position.  He looked back up and felt the breath in his throat catch again, though for a very different reason this time.

 

        The figure was a girl, and young.  She stood a good head shorter than him and was covered in gleaming metal plates of the steely silver.  Smooth black hair, as perfectly groomed as any fashion model’s, rolled down across her back, shifting ever so slightly in the wind.  What looked like a dark grey bodyglove covered the unarmored parts of her body, mostly under her chest down to the tops of her knees.  The grayness was too tight over her body that he could all but see the folds of her skin, even the little mound between her-

 

        He gulped down his nervousness as he took in her face; a wide eyed grin with a quizzical expression regarded him with interest.  Pale and almost grey, the lack of movement her skin made was faintly unsettling.  A comically oversized pair of bandages was placed together on her forehead, forming an X.  The exaggerated image was rather endearing, he thought.

 

        Her eyes were so green they almost glowed.

 

        With a start he realized they were glowing.  Even as he watched the pupils dilated and shifted not as organic structures, but mechanical implant; like a high grade pictcaster focusing on an image.  He felt a twinge of sadness at seeing one so young, a child even, have to endure augmetics like that.

 

        Her smiling face was looking dead ahead and he blushed, realizing that he had been staring.  The girl’s smile widened.

 

        “Necron for hire,” she said, snapping a salute.  “Reporting for duty!”

 

        “Listen, kid,” said Rob, trying to pry his eyes off of her sweetly grinning face, “this is the worst possible place to be playin-“  What was that she said?

 

        “Playing?” said the girl with a pouting frown.  “I’m not playing at all.”  She pointed to the blackened spot behind Rob, where the Tyranid had died.  “I did that, didn’t I?”

 

        He examined the spot, all but ignoring the incoming tide of chitin and malevolence on the horizon, and looked back at the girl.  The porcelain colored skin was faintly clear and, as he leaned in close, he could just make out a series of small metal plates and springy looking things behind it.  His eyes widened and he jumped back.

 

        “You’re not human!”

 

        “Duh, silly.”  She smiled again as if it were all a joke.  “Like I said, ‘Necron for hire.’”  She tilted her head and gave him an appraising stare.  Only now did Rob notice the green, glowing rod attached to the silver stock and blade attached to her back.  He stepped backwards.

 

        “Are you going to hire me?” she asked, eyes growing larger than a Demolisher Cannon’s bore.

 

        Trooper Rob looked over his shoulder at the rapidly approaching Tyranid host.  Only seconds had passed, yet already it seemed distinctly closer.  He remembered back to the dissolving Tyranid and shrugged.

 

        “Sure, why not.”

 

        Something about the conversation finally drilled home how horribly fucked he was.  His legs wobbled and gave out and he fell backwards against the trench, landing hard on his rump.  He curled his legs up and placed his chin on the knees.

 

        “Just, just start shooting or something, okay?”

 

        The girl hopped down into the trench and he heard a slight mechanical whir as her knees absorbed the impact.  Swift, precise steps took her to the end of the trench.  She paused for a second and Rob wondered what she was doing.  After a second she turned and snatched up an ammo can, placed it on the ground, and stepped up on top of it.  The added inches gave her just enough height for her head to reach over the lip of the trench.

 

        “Are you really a, um, a Necron?” he asked, curiosity winning out over timidity.

 

        “Yep,” she said cheerfully as she raised a hand to her face, shielding her eyes from the sun.  Rob couldn’t help but chuckle, the sun was all but obscure and he doubted mechanical eyes would need to be shielded like that anyway.

 

        She looked down at him and smiled, then went back to scanning the horizon.  Slowly, the smile faded to a blank expression.  Slowly, the blank expression drooped into a frown.

 

        “Listen, Meatbag-Kun, there’s just so much I can do befo-“

 

        “What did you call me?”

 

        “Oh, did I not say it right?”  Her face shifted from a frown of regret to one of concern with frightening speed.  “I was only on Weeabox IV for a few days before the Dark Eldar took everyone, I’m sorry if I insulted you.”  He blinked in surprise as she inclined her head in a little bow.

 

        “Meatbag-SAN,” she continued, “I don’t really think I can be of much help here.”  She waved her hand in the vague direction of the Tyranids.  “There’s just so many of them.”  She noticed his downcast expression.  “Is there anything I can do for you?”

 

        The unfairness of it all bubbled inside him.  Why was he even here?  He had a damn good job at the supermarketarium back home before getting drafted into the stupid Imperial Guard.  He’d never even held a gun before they shoved the Luminox into his hand, shipped him halfway across the galaxy, and told him to go shoot at the most horrific alien race in the universe.

 

        And now this, a brief flicker of hope dashed before he could even grab hold of it.  Was it too much to ask to die alone with some dignity, curled up in a fetal position hoping the bugs wouldn’t notice him?  Where did this little tart, as cute as she may be, get off saying she could help, only to turn right back around and say he was doomed?

 

        “You can suck my dick for all I care,” he muttered under his breath, resolving to ignore her as he waited for death.

 

        There was a short pause.  After awhile, the trooper started to think she had wandered off.

 

        “Is that all?” she said.

 

        He glanced in her direction.  “What do you mean, ‘Is that all?’”

 

        “Well, I don’t see how that will help anything,” said the strange girl, “but if that’s what you want then that’s what you want.”

 

        Without another word she squatted down in front of him got on her knees.  The metal of her shin guards dug shallow furrows into the dirt.  Calmly, almost with reverence, she placed clasped her hands together and placed them in her lap.

 

        The closeness of her and the innocent intensity of her glare made Rob’s throat run dry.  He fidgeted nervously, not sure what was going on.

 

        “Just one thing,” she said.

 

        “Uh, what might that be?” he aksed.

 

        “What’s a dick?”

 

        The trooper snorted back a fit of laughter, failed, and started to cough.

 

        “What the hell are you, girly?”

 

        “I told you, I’m a Necron.”  He could remember hearing that word whispered in the barracks, but couldn’t connect the lifeless abominations with the bubbly, child like creature before him.  She tilted her head to the side.  “A prototype, really.  Most of us are pretty dull, I have to admit.  Sometimes faces run together and it can get pretty lonely…”  Her face took on a contemplative visage for the briefest of moments.

 

        “But that’s why I’m here!”  Suddenly she was all cheers and sunshine again, but the trooper couldn’t help but feel that it was forced, for her benefit as much as his.  “So, since you want me to suck it, what is a dick?”

 

        “Listen, kiddo,” he said, “I didn’t really mean that.  You’re really too young for that kind of thing.”

 

        “Too young?”  She started to laugh and her voice took on a distinctly inhuman, distinctly artificial quality that trilled in his ears.  “Meatbag-san, I’m millions and millions of years old.  If you’re old enough, then so am I!”  The way she puffed herself up, or mimed puffing herself up, forced a smile across his lips.  It was almost enough to forget about the mindless horde of rampaging star demons rushing headlong towards him at that very moment.  Almost.

 

        Fuck it, he thought.

 

        “Okay, okay,” he said in an effort to console her.  “You’ve convinced me.  My names Roboute, by the way.  No need to call me Meatbag.”  He said the last word like it left a bad taste in his mouth.

 

        “Okay, Mr. Roboute.  Now, where do I find this-“

 

        “What’s your name,” he asked.

 

        “Me? Oh, I’m…”  For several seconds, she just sat there, staring ahead blankly.  “Um… I don’t really remember…”

 

        They shared a few awkward moments.

 

        “People usually just call me Lolicron.”

 

        “Lolicron it is, then,” said Rob.  He could hear the combined howl of the encroaching xenos wash across the dugout.  “So,” he said rapidly, trying to get the words out before his courage failed, “ready to begin?”

 

        “Yep!” Lolicron said, smiling widely again.  “What do I do?”

 

        “Well, first you’ll have to unfasten my belt and pull them down a bit.”  Even as he spoke her hands were moving, following the directions in real time.  Rob marveled at her complete lack of reservations or hesitation, and duly thankful for he doubted his trembling hands could have done the job.

 

        In a second she had pulled his pants down to his knees and he was left sitting in his underwear.  He directed her to do the same with those and she complied.  As she removed them her movements slowed for the first time.  Lolicron frowned slightly.

 

        “What is that?” she asked.

 

        Trooper Rob looked down at his flaccid penis and then back at the creature before him.  “That,” he said, “is my dick.”

 

        “Why do you want me to suck it?”

 

        “Well, um… it feels good.”

 

        “It does?”

 

        “Yeah,” he said.  “Really good.  I figure since I’m about to bite the big one, I might as well go see the Emperor with a smile on my face.”  He smiled weakly, trying to play it off as a joke.

 

        “I can understand that,” she said, nodding sagely.  Lolicron leaned forward and lowered her head.  Her mouth opened.

 

        “Wait!” Something had suddenly occurred to him.

 

        “What’s wrong?”

 

        “Um, I don’t mean to be rude, but…”

 

        “But what?”

 

        “Do you have, well, you know…”

 

        “What?”

 

        “A tongue?”

 

        Her head cocked and she looked at him strangely.  If she’d had eyebrows, he was sure one of them would have been raised.

 

        “What does that have to do with anything?”

 

        “Well, that’s what makes he feel good,” he explained.  Rob thought he felt the ground start to tremble beneath him.  “That,” he continued, “and some lubrication.”  Her face indicated that she was still quite confused.  “You see, the smooth friction of a well lubricated tongue against the skin is what makes it feel good.”

 

        “Oh, I see!” she exclaimed.  “That makes a lot more sense.  Don’t worry, I’m well equipped.”  He couldn’t help but glance at her armored chest or imagine that little bulge between her legs.  Lolicron opened her mouth and a little pink tongue slid out.  The color surprised him.  She wiggled it a bit and smiled.  Rob could swear his heart skipped a beat.

 

        Lolicron bent down again.

 

        “Wait!”

 

        “What now?” she asked, starting to get huffy.

 

        “I think I should, uh… test it out first.”

 

        “How?”

 

        Without waiting for his confidence to fail, Rob leaned forward and kissed the xeno full on the lips.  She left her mouth open and he took the opportunity to force his tongue inside.  The curiously lukewarm temperature and chemical rich taste was oddly inviting.  With one hand he reached behind her head and drew her closer, noting faintly the thicker-than-normal volume of her heavy hair.

 

        He could actually feel her shrug as she leaned in of her own accord, following his lead.  Soon he was struggling to keep up with her as the small but dexterous tongue matched him move for move.  The bridge between their mouths became a little battlefield and it did not take long for her tirelessness and ingenuity to batter him back into his own mouth.

 

        The trooper enjoyed letting her explore his mouth, twisting around his tongue and brushing against his teeth.  For a moment he almost thought she was starting to breathe as waves of head eased their way over to him, but he realized it was merely her mouth acclimating to and matching the temperature of his own.  If anything, it was a bit warmer.

 

        Rob felt himself stirring and, without really giving thought to action, scooped up one of her hands in his and placed it against his member.  Not wanting to break away from the kiss, he eased her hand up and down until she realized what he wanted.

 

        Her hand was harder, rougher than he would have liked, more metallic than her face and mouth were, but she seemed to sense this and took care to be gentle.  Lolicron’s fingers smoothly massaged up from the base, coaxing the blood to flow upwards with his growing excitement.  Rob’s breathing intensified as he felt his shaft swell and harden under her attentions.  Once he was fully erect she firmly grasped him and started to pump up and down in a slow but perfectly steady pace.

 

        The trooper started to feel his head go dizzy as he struggled to remember to breathe.  Suddenly he an acrid taste filled his mouth and he broke away, pushing her back.  Her hand stopped as well.

        “What was that?” he asked, spitting at the ground to get the taste away.

 

        “I’m sorry,” she said, looking slightly hurt.  “You said I needed lubrication and, well, you’re mouth was so wet…”  If it was possible for a mechanical being with silicon skin to blush, the necron girl was doing it right then.  “I redirected my oil flow to match.”

 

        Rob could see a viscous goo oozing out of her mouth and dribbling down her chin.  Unconsciously, he brushed the saliva off his lips.  The poor thing’s eyes seemed to have doubled in size.

 

        “Oh, no, that’s not bad at all.  That’s really good!” he said.  “I just wasn’t expecting the taste…”

        “So I passed inspection?”  Lolicron’s face was so earnest and sincere that Rob could almost hear his heart strings twanging in his chest.

 

        “With flying colors,” he said.  From her expression, he could tell that the xeno didn’t recognize the idiom, but was pleased by the obvious sentiment.  Her smile caused his erection to twitch involuntarily and he suddenly realized how swollen he was.

 

        Her gaze followed and then darted back up questioningly.

 

        “Yes,” he said. “Go for it.”

 

        Without further ceremony her head dropped down and her lips passed over his member.  The heat she had built up in her mouth was intense and he gave a little cry as his foreskin all but ripped off his head.  Lolicron tried to lift off to see what was wrong, but he shoved her back down with both hands.  He could tell she was strong enough to keep going up anyway, but she complied with his wishes.

 

        Her tiny nose bumped against his stomach and she waited.  The trooper realized what was going on.

 

        “Friction, remember? Use your tongue.”

 

        “The words had barely passed through his lips when Lolicron’s tongue began to swirl around his member.  It seemed longer and wider than when it was in his mouth, but the speed at which she glided over his skin, massaging the oil deep into him, that he could hardly form the thought.

 

        “Not too fast,” he said, already breathless.

 

        It took her a few minutes, but soon she judged by his reactions what the optimal speed must be.  Her tongue quickly passed over and around the head before brushing down each side of the shaft.  Soon he could tell her frustration was growing at not being able to cover everything at once.

 

        Rob lifted her head up and forced it back down.

 

        It was as though sight had been given to a child born blind.

 

        Lolicron pursed her lips together so that they formed a circle just small than the girth of his penis.  Like a piston she rocked her head up and down while working at the tip of his member with her tongue.  Mindful to keep from going too fast, she quickly found the perfect balance of lips to shaft and tongue to glans.

 

        Again and again she pumped up and down, not tiring for a second or pausing even a moment to catch her breath.  Rob lost himself in the incredible sensations positively melting his dick.  Never in his life had he felt anything close to the ecstasy of that moment; the hot oil, the rapidly flailing tongue, or the perfectly timed pumping of those tiny, oh-so-sweet lips.  He didn’t even notice himself bucking up into her mouth until he banged uncomfortably against the back of her throat.

 

        Instead of pausing, Lolicron simply pushed further back down.  Her lips oozed across the base of his shaft while her tongue worked everything bellow the head.  Deep in the back of her throat, jets of oil sprayed continuously against the tip of his member from every direction.

 

        In seconds he was at his limit and twitching wildly.  Rob’s body twitched as erratically as his breathing had become.  With one hand he wrenched the small but solid head off his member, moaning in pleasure as the lips gave a little pop as the tip came out.  With the other he slapped up against his penis and started to pump as fast as he could.  The oils from her mouth gave him the smoothest ride he’d even gotten by hand.

 

        She waited, passively, as he rigorously pumped.  Rob’s breath caught in his throat and he his mind went blank.  His body tensed over and over again as thick gouts of hot semen spurted out and over the girl’s delicate features.  His pumping threw off his aim and sent his cum all over her face.  A splurt caught her between the eyes, another on her right cheek, yet another fell in a messy pool onto her chest.  Much of it poured into her open mouth.

 

        Breathless and covered in sweat, he opened his eyes and looked down.  A thick strand of white goo was oozing out from the corner of her mouth.  She looked up and smiled.

 

        “Thank you,” he said.

 

        “SCREEEEEEE!!!!”

 

        Rob’s head turned just in time to see the jaws surging forward.

 

 

 

 

 

        In the oppressive gloom of the portal chamber, a green light fizzed into life then died as suddenly as it came.

 

        Slowly, the mass of metals and artificial materials left lying in the center of the device rocked into life and pulled together.  Soon, a body was formed and a diminutive figure eased onto her knees.

 

        Looking around, Lolicron couldn’t help but feel a tinge of sadness at the loss of life as the blank, lifeless faces of half a million sleeping Necron warriors stared back at her lifelessly.

 

        White ooze was still dripping down her chin.

 

        “At least he died happy,” she whispered into the darkness.