Pastebin launched a little side project called HostCabi.net, check it out ;-)Don't like ads? PRO users don't see any ads ;-)

Untitled10 sec ago
Untitled12 sec ago
Untitled16 sec ago
ser_13800350783791 min ago
Untitled21 sec ago
list product33 sec ago
ser_137994512461226 sec ago
Untitled26 sec ago

James McStrange, Fluffy scientist.

By: Slictz on Dec 4th, 2012 | syntax: None | size: 6.45 KB | hits: 54 | expires: Never

download | raw | embed | report abuse | print

Text below is selected. Please press Ctrl+C to copy to your clipboard. (⌘+C on Mac)

>You are James McStrange, a deranged scientist doing experiments on fluffies.
>Most people don’t know your name at all, but boy do they know of your experiments!
>Your most liked work was the suspended Fluffy experiment.
>As the name suggests, the rules of it all were quite simple, you got yourself an earth fluffy, suspended it on the 4th floor of your lab looking out through the window high above the floor.
>The fluffy also got everything it needed, top shelf kibble, clean water and a waste disposal system to deal with its droppings.
>With the stuff in place you began recording the fluffy’s speech and movements through the week-long experiment.
>Day 1:
>11A.M.
>you’re currently walking down the lab corridors with a blindfolded Lemon in your hands heading for the height test lab.
>”Wha daddeh doin’?”
>”whea daddeh takin Wemon?”
>”I’m taking you on a special trip to a fun place”
>”Ok Lemon, this is a harness; you’re going to be living in it for the next week, sound fun?”
>”Wha hawness? Dis game? Wemon wuv game!”
>”daddeh gif sun ba’ so Wemon see?”
>Not yet Lemon, we’ll keep that blindfold on for a bit longer.
>”Ok now Lemon, here we go!”
>You put Lemon into his harness carefully, scratch him on the cheek and check everything is in order before you start the room recorder.
>”The fluffy is now in the harness, the experiment is a go”
>”Expewiment is go!”
>”Shh now Lemon, I told you not to repeat my words all the time…”
>”Sowwy daddeh.”
>”ok now, you be a good boy now while daddy fetches something.”
>”Otay daddeh! Wemon guu fwuffy!”
>3P.M
>”The fluffy named Lemon has now been in the harness for 5 hours, he’s been quiet all the time.
>He shows no sign of sadness, status at this point is Happy.”
>”We’ll leave him with the blindfold for a while longer.”
>6P.M
>Fwuffy wan see, pwease gif wight back daddy!”
>”ok Lemon, I’m removing it now.”
>”The subject is agitated, I’m removing the blindfold now, if all goes well Lemon won’t go into cardiac arrest by the shock.”
>You carefully remove the blindfold and walk back into your observation room.
>”Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Wan down! Wan down! Wemon nu wike! Daddeh hewp!”
>As foam starts form around Lemons lips, you know something isn’t right.
>”Ddddddd…”
>”Disregard that last message, I’m fetching the defibrillator now”
>9P.M
>”That didn’t go too well, it took three shocks to just get him breathing again, I won’t even begin on the brain damage…”
>”The subject is sleeping right now, he finally fell asleep after the shocks, fluffy pee smells awful when the fluffy is scared. Might be some strange defense mechanism, don’t know”
>”End of today’s tests, we’ll continue tomorrow.”
>Day 2.
9A.M
>you walk to the observation area as usual and begin looking at him again.
>”Today is looking brighter, the subject is now wake and his body is constantly emptying itself from fear, the amount of urine and feces a fluffy can produce in 12 hours is stunning.
>”Fwuffy too high! Wan down! Fwuffy scawed, wan down…”
>”The subject has lost all its memories, it no longer remembers its own name, my name nor where it is.”
>7P.M
>”Wan down! Wan down! Wan down! Wan down! Wan down! Wan down! Wan down! Wan down! Wan down! Wan down! Wan down! Wan down! Wan down! Wan down! Wan down! Wet fwuffy down munsta o’ gif big ouchies!”
>”The subject has gone from a state of self pity to that of half a smarty friend. The harness has now been classified as a “munsta out to hurt him.”
>”We’ll have to monitor his condition and act accordingly”
>”All right, I’ll call it a day now, McStrange out.”
>Just as you’re ready to go out, you remember that someone has to watch Lemon tonight, he might snuff it at any given time. Michael the labs dimwit should do just fine.”
>”Hey Michael! Get over here right now!”
>”Yes sir, what do you want?”
>”Keep an eye on Lemon in the test room would you, he’s not stable at the moment, might almost die on us again.”
>”Ok sir, I’ll check him now and then.”
>”You better, or else.” You say while pulling your index finger across your neck.
>Day 3.
>9A.M
>As usual you walk into the office, greeting people you know before work begins.
>”Hey Tony, did you catch the ball game last night?”
>”The Fluckers got real close towards the end, too bad Trippy managed to tackle Jonsy, the bone sticking out sure gave it a whole other dimension huh?
>”Yeah, those fluffy ballplayers sure are rough.”
>”See you later James.”
>Done doing the required chat with coworkers you walk into the test room where Lemon is suspended only to find a problem awaiting you.
>”So Lemon, how are we fee-…”
>”What?”
>”Michael!! Get your dead ass in here this instant!
>”Y… yes sir?”
>”Did your IQ drop below freezing last night dumb skull? Look at Lemon; he snuffed it sometime last night! How the hell are we supposed to work here when the test subjects die on us? Magically conjure up new ones straight from Beelzebub? Pull ‘em out of your sorry ass?”
>This was the last drop, Michael’s fucked up the job for the last time, his dad might fund you all, but this shit brain can’t stay concentrated for 10min.
>”I…I’m sorry sir, what do you want me to do about it? How am I supposed to make sure this doesn’t happen? I have needs you know.”
>Needs? What needs could a dumbass like you have? Smoking your danged pot every 20 min through the night? Getting stoned all the time? Huh?”
>”You better bring me Rosy and her four foals in 4min straight or I’m showing your dad the video we have of you and Jasmine getting it on in the Fluffy storage room”
>”Don’t you dare! I’ll-“
>”Is that a threat? I’ll count to five, if I can still see you by then; prepare to meet Mr. and Mrs. Healthcare.
>You just stand there furious while Michael fetches Rosy and her four foals, she’s a Pegasus mare so the experiment should go better with her, but who knows, two of her foals are Unicorns after all.
>You’re actually sad Lemon is dead, he was your favorite fluffy at the lab, he was supposed to come home with you once he finished this experiment…
>”Shhh Lemon, you’re in a better place now buddy, Daddy will miss you.” You say as you carefully remove him from the harness and put him in a large box.
>”One day Lemon, one day I’m going to kill that fucker.”

create a new version of this paste RAW Paste Data

>You are James McStrange, a deranged scientist doing experiments on fluffies.
>Most people don’t know your name at all, but boy do they know of your experiments!
>Your most liked work was the suspended Fluffy experiment.
>As the name suggests, the rules of it all were quite simple, you got yourself an earth fluffy, suspended it on the 4th floor of your lab looking out through the window high above the floor.
>The fluffy also got everything it needed, top shelf kibble, clean water and a waste disposal system to deal with its droppings.
>With the stuff in place you began recording the fluffy’s speech and movements through the week-long experiment.
>Day 1:
>11A.M.
>you’re currently walking down the lab corridors with a blindfolded Lemon in your hands heading for the height test lab.
>”Wha daddeh doin’?”
>”whea daddeh takin Wemon?”
>”I’m taking you on a special trip to a fun place”
>”Ok Lemon, this is a harness; you’re going to be living in it for the next week, sound fun?”
>”Wha hawness? Dis game? Wemon wuv game!”
>”daddeh gif sun ba’ so Wemon see?”
>Not yet Lemon, we’ll keep that blindfold on for a bit longer.
>”Ok now Lemon, here we go!”
>You put Lemon into his harness carefully, scratch him on the cheek and check everything is in order before you start the room recorder.
>”The fluffy is now in the harness, the experiment is a go”
>”Expewiment is go!”
>”Shh now Lemon, I told you not to repeat my words all the time…”
>”Sowwy daddeh.”
>”ok now, you be a good boy now while daddy fetches something.”
>”Otay daddeh! Wemon guu fwuffy!”
>3P.M
>”The fluffy named Lemon has now been in the harness for 5 hours, he’s been quiet all the time.
>He shows no sign of sadness, status at this point is Happy.”
>”We’ll leave him with the blindfold for a while longer.”
>6P.M
>Fwuffy wan see, pwease gif wight back daddy!”
>”ok Lemon, I’m removing it now.”
>”The subject is agitated, I’m removing the blindfold now, if all goes well Lemon won’t go into cardiac arrest by the shock.”
>You carefully remove the blindfold and walk back into your observation room.
>”Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Wan down! Wan down! Wemon nu wike! Daddeh hewp!”
>As foam starts form around Lemons lips, you know something isn’t right.
>”Ddddddd…”
>”Disregard that last message, I’m fetching the defibrillator now”
>9P.M
>”That didn’t go too well, it took three shocks to just get him breathing again, I won’t even begin on the brain damage…”
>”The subject is sleeping right now, he finally fell asleep after the shocks, fluffy pee smells awful when the fluffy is scared. Might be some strange defense mechanism, don’t know”
>”End of today’s tests, we’ll continue tomorrow.”


>Day 2.
9A.M
>you walk to the observation area as usual and begin looking at him again.
>”Today is looking brighter, the subject is now wake and his body is constantly emptying itself from fear, the amount of urine and feces a fluffy can produce in 12 hours is stunning.
>”Fwuffy too high! Wan down! Fwuffy scawed, wan down…”
>”The subject has lost all its memories, it no longer remembers its own name, my name nor where it is.”
>7P.M
>”Wan down! Wan down! Wan down! Wan down! Wan down! Wan down! Wan down! Wan down! Wan down! Wan down! Wan down! Wan down! Wan down! Wan down! Wan down! Wet fwuffy down munsta o’ gif big ouchies!”
>”The subject has gone from a state of self pity to that of half a smarty friend. The harness has now been classified as a “munsta out to hurt him.”
>”We’ll have to monitor his condition and act accordingly”
>”All right, I’ll call it a day now, McStrange out.”
>Just as you’re ready to go out, you remember that someone has to watch Lemon tonight, he might snuff it at any given time. Michael the labs dimwit should do just fine.”
>”Hey Michael! Get over here right now!”
>”Yes sir, what do you want?”
>”Keep an eye on Lemon in the test room would you, he’s not stable at the moment, might almost die on us again.”
>”Ok sir, I’ll check him now and then.”
>”You better, or else.” You say while pulling your index finger across your neck.

>Day 3.
>9A.M
>As usual you walk into the office, greeting people you know before work begins.
>”Hey Tony, did you catch the ball game last night?”
>”The Fluckers got real close towards the end, too bad Trippy managed to tackle Jonsy, the bone sticking out sure gave it a whole other dimension huh?
>”Yeah, those fluffy ballplayers sure are rough.”
>”See you later James.”
>Done doing the required chat with coworkers you walk into the test room where Lemon is suspended only to find a problem awaiting you.

>”So Lemon, how are we fee-…”
>”What?”
>”Michael!! Get your dead ass in here this instant!
>”Y… yes sir?”
>”Did your IQ drop below freezing last night dumb skull? Look at Lemon; he snuffed it sometime last night! How the hell are we supposed to work here when the test subjects die on us? Magically conjure up new ones straight from Beelzebub? Pull ‘em out of your sorry ass?”
>This was the last drop, Michael’s fucked up the job for the last time, his dad might fund you all, but this shit brain can’t stay concentrated for 10min.
>”I…I’m sorry sir, what do you want me to do about it? How am I supposed to make sure this doesn’t happen? I have needs you know.”
>Needs? What needs could a dumbass like you have? Smoking your danged pot every 20 min through the night? Getting stoned all the time? Huh?”
>”You better bring me Rosy and her four foals in 4min straight or I’m showing your dad the video we have of you and Jasmine getting it on in the Fluffy storage room”
>”Don’t you dare! I’ll-“
>”Is that a threat? I’ll count to five, if I can still see you by then; prepare to meet Mr. and Mrs. Healthcare.
>You just stand there furious while Michael fetches Rosy and her four foals, she’s a Pegasus mare so the experiment should go better with her, but who knows, two of her foals are Unicorns after all.
>You’re actually sad Lemon is dead, he was your favorite fluffy at the lab, he was supposed to come home with you once he finished this experiment…
>”Shhh Lemon, you’re in a better place now buddy, Daddy will miss you.” You say as you carefully remove him from the harness and put him in a large box.
 >”One day Lemon, one day I’m going to kill that fucker.”

Pastebin.com Tools & Applications

iPhone/iPad

Windows

Firefox

Chrome

WebOS

Android

Mac

Opera

Click.to

UNIX

WinPhone